A Common Sense Approach to Infidelity

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim


******UPDATE****** June 14, 2014

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved Black Sisters (And Brothers 😉 )

Life involves growth and change and the more I live and learn about life, my views are constantly in a state of flux. I have come to accept the fact that however unacceptable it may be, there are double standards when it comes to men and women. We need to just accept that fact. It is understandably more difficult for the Sisters because typically, the more favorable standard is generally in favor of the Brothers.

Brothers, you need to realize this and stop being “simps” and step up and be men. Stop saying stupid stuff like, “The Blackwoman is God” in deference of your responsibility. Stop saying you want your wife to work deflecting your responsibility as provider. Stop acting like women are your intellectual and occupational equals, in a silly attempt to gain favor with your enemies who introduced this faulty idea.

As with anything in regards to the sexes, infidelity involves double standards as well. The husband is the head of the household, therefore he has the duty to control, provide for and protect his wife. If she strays, it is his duty to use any means to return her to her place as a respectable woman. This may include locking her in the house, Brothers. Don’t shy away from your responsibility. Do whatever you have to do. If she persists in her indecent ways, you may be forced to give her a spanking. (Think Ricky and Lucy). Do not let her emasculate you, Brothers. BE MEN!

Your wife is obligated to submit to you. If she falls short in her duty, you must not fall in yours. Our families are suffering because of the poison that has been put in us by our enemies. We must return to traditional familial values if we ever expect to regain our place on top of civilization.

Sisters, our situation is different. Obviously, we cannot use force to control our husbands. They are physically AND mentally more powerful than we are. Therefore, by necessity, we must use other means to return our husbands to their domestic responsibilities. Previously, my advice to the Sisters was overwhelmingly in favor of abandoning their husband if he was unfaithful. Now, I am not convinced that that would be the best decision.

Ask Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praises Are Due Forever, If Your Spouse is His Choice For You, And For Guidance Either Way.

If he strays, you must use your natural feminine wiles that attracted him to you in the beginning to recapture his heart. Keep up your appearance as if you are going out even when you are staying in the house, i.e. keep your hair combed, use perfumed oils, wear jewelry, nice clothes, etc.  Shower him with affection. Convince him that there is no woman in the Universe better than you for him. Remind him why he married you in the first place.



As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved Black Sisters!

I’m sure we’ve all heard stories about women fighting over men. Some of you may have even been involved in fights over a man. I never could understand why a woman would beat up another woman for sweethearting with her husband.

This behaviour has baffled me since I was little and it still does to this day. I have seen women cut by other women over some man. This woman will have to wear that scar for the rest of her life. Sisters, we should show more love for each other.

Why would a woman take her anger out on the other woman? This anger is misdirected. It is her husband with whom she should be angry. Whomever the other woman is is irrelevant. The problem is her husband.

Okay, let’s say she beats up the other woman, cuts, drives her off and the other woman agrees to never come back. Is that going to stop her husband from cheating on her again with some other woman??? No. She will be getting into fights with every woman with whom her husband cheats until she wakes up and realizes that the other women are not the problem.

And if it is the other woman who is the problem, then your marriage will not work anyway. Your husband will leave you for her eventually.

We have to use intelligence, Sisters. As with any problem, we must get to to the ROOT, which is the unfaithful husband.

I don’t know anything that can change a man but Islam. The Divine Supreme Wisdom Teachings of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) dignifies the Blackman and gives him a sense of morality and self-respect that he never knew in Christianity. He knows Whom the Real God is and he knows whom HE is. This brings him dignity, increases his intelligence and a gives him a newfound appreciation and concern for his woman.

Unless your husband accepts Islam, you have a decision to make Sister. Continue to tolerate a cheating husband or free yourself from disgrace and leave him. If you choose to stay, I would suggest you just resign yourself to the fact that he may bring you diseases, illegitimate children and the resulting humiliation with which you will have to live for the rest of your life. Again, fighting the other women will not stop him. If he married you and he still cheats, then obviously the vows he took don’t mean anything to him.

Allah ordains one man for each woman and one woman for each man. You need to consider the fact that you married the wrong one. Your soulmate would never cheat on you. Pray and ask Allah to help you be strong and recover your dignity. He Will Guide You On Your Way. Be PATIENT, Keep Chaste and Your One True Love Will Find You.

How will you know? Ask Allah.

2 thoughts on “A Common Sense Approach to Infidelity

  1. I worked in a outpatient mental health clinic for several years. I have seen the effects of infidelity on many marriages and the family members. In many cases, safer sexual were not utilized. There were many decent women who contracted HIV/STD/AIDS from cheating husbands. It ws terrifying seeing so many of my black sisters endure this. Many men often had children with other women during their marriages and brought those children into the household with their wives and children. What sane woman could tolerate such a thing at this day in age? What are these mothers teaching their female children when they tolerate these things?

    1. Yes Sister, it is unfortunate that some of us suffer from cheating husbands, which is why I wrote to seek Allah’s Guidance before entering a marriage.

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