Captain’s Log عشرة

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم



February 3, 2017

8:44 A.M.A.D. – Jamal

Al Hamdulillah!!!

All Praises Are Due To Allah, Master Fard Muhammad,
To Whom Be Praised FOREVER!!!

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved And Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

I feel like I’m in New Orleans already!

You know what?

I used to say “Nawlins” because I thought that’s how people from New Orleans say it.
I was at the Women’s (Or rather Bull-dyke and Trannies :/ ) Center yesterday and these Sisters were reading my bag and one of them said, “Nawlins” like I used to. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought they say that.

I think New Orleanians got tired of people mocking them and started saying New Orleans, or New Or-le-ins, or New Orlins, but I have NEVER heard anyone say “Nawlins” I’ve heard “Rawlins” 😛 but never “Nawlins” 😉

I got my ticket and I’m sitting here thinking about Zawji, listening to Musiq Soulchild and it made me feel like writing.

It’s so strange but the Holy Qur’an says, “We plan and Allah Plans. Surely, Allah is the BEST OF PLANNERS.”

It is so true.

I had this schedule of all the things I wanted to do today,


When I woke up this morning, nothing went according to MY plan.

But everything Went according to ALLAH’S PLAN.

And, I must admit

I love HIS Plan.

I just wish He Would Tell Me BEFOREHAND.

I mean

Surprises are nice


He ALWAYS makes me sad first

Or mad

Or stressed.

I met this guy named Mr. Wright in the nineties,

On one of my adventures.

We were at Cal State Long Beach at nighttime for some reason,

And we were having a good time.

He must’ve been Zawji’s Doppel because he danced the whole night.

I didn’t know anything about Doppels back then.







I mean, his NAME was Mr. Wright (Right).

I told him I should call my mom and tell her I met Mr. Right. LOL

He ended up calling HIS mom and letting me talk to her.

That was flattering.

Guess I was wifey material.

Anyway, he was talking about how Christmas is so awesome because it’s a surprise. I wish I could remember exactly what he said because I agreed. Although, Christmas as a practice is evil as Hell. But I think about how I felt when he told me something like, you have to go through some pain or patience, before you get to the good reward.

I think that is just in this world.

In the Hereafter, In Sha Allah, it won’t be like this.

We Can Just Get Straight To The Good Part.

And Live Happily Ever After.

With no bad parts.

That’s what I’m expecting.

In this world, we think there has to be some type of antagonism.

But Islam is not that.


I started not to post this because they don’t have on shirts


MC Hammer was NOT an MC.

He couldn’t rap for nothing.

Although I did like one line he said.

But he could dance his behind off.

I remember in the nineties I had one of the best days of my life.

Boys 2 Men, Jodeci and MC Hammer were having a show at The Forum.

So, me and my cousins went to see Boyz 2 Men at some press thingie they had earlier in the day, at the Hard Rock in the Beverly Center. I had a camera and used up the whole roll.

Who knew we would be face to face with Jodeci later?

The radio station had announced they were having some secret location joint, but I guess Allah Told me where it was going to be because we went and there they were.

That was when I almost got in the limo with Dalvin. LOL

It reminds me of that video with Aretha Franklin “A Rose is Still A Rose” where the Sister left her friends to roll off with Tip.

I didn’t go though.

I looked at my friends.

Then I looked at him sitting there.



I Was In The Limo Door Halfway In…

He Was Fine As Hell


I just felt like a hoe.

There are more important things in life than









I haven’t seen this video in a few years and it reminds me so much of myself.

I am so thankful for Allah and Islam.

Otherwise, I would still be out there trying to replace Zawji.

Promiscuous and ending up used up;




Al Hamdulillah!

Sisters, don’t give a man your most valuable possession until after he’s proven he deserves it by marrying you first.

Even still, some men will just marry you to get it or for reasons other than love.


And Ask Allah

If he is your Zawji.


Even if you don’t like the answer.

I just told you

He hurts you sometimes first.

Then surprises you with something better than you could have ever dreamed!!!



So, I’m sitting in the bus station bawling.

I don’t even try anymore.

To hide my tears.

They’re just going to have to see my crying.

I just don’t look to see if anybody is watching


Let them flow.

So, when we saw Jodeci, K-Ci walked right in front of us singing TLC’s “Baby, Baby, Baby” right along with the music they were playing –

I thought that was kinda cool.

He’s singing somebody else’s song. And a girl group!

So anyway,


Like he was TRYING to get our attention,

And I really regretted wasting all my film on Boyz 2 Men who were a little distance away on stage.

I could’ve taken a picture WITH him. :/

Oh yeah,

After the Boyz 2 Men press conference

Why did we follow them when they got in the car? LOL

They drove for a little while, then I guess they realized we were following them, so they pulled into this empty parking lot and we followed them right on in.

Then they stopped and their bodyguard got out the car and came up to my window and told me to stop following them, real mean like.


So, we went to the Jodeci thingie.

Then we got into a car accident but nobody was hurt.

I think one of my cousins got paid.

But I didn’t want to go to therapy.

So I didn’t get any money.



We went on to the forum and saw both groups and MC Hammer.

I had seen Boyz 2 Men before

But that’s another story… 😛

I used to really like them.

I had this cassette tape of the “Motownphilly” single

And it had “snippets” LOL

Of songs from the whole album.

I used to wear that thing OUT!

I even made a plaid shorts outfit with a matching tie like they used to wear.


First outfit I ever made myself!

I used to wear it with a long-sleeved, button-down denim

And you couldn’t tell me nothing.


I thought I was so cute.

You could tell me a lot now.

Like how women shouldn’t wear anything masculine –

Like button down shirts


Definitely not TIES!


We Should Try To Be As Feminine As Possible!

In skirts and dresses and delicate jewelry,

Ribbons and bows and pink stuff.

Allahu Akbar

For The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)

And The M.G.T. & G.C.C!



Hammer put on a bomb show.

He can’t rap but he can entertain so I’m not that mad.

I have higher standards now.

You can’t distract me with music and dancing.

I listen for vocal ability.


Remember that dancer with the triangle haircut? LOL

Let me find that Addams family video.

We used to wear that video into the ground on the strength of his dancing.

At the show he was up on a riser by himself and I didn’t even see Hammer because I was too busy watching him.

We were far away which was unusual for me, but still had a great time.

I’m trying to remember if TLC was on the lineup too.

I don’t pay any attention to the females. LOL

This was before I started doing my show.

But, we used to have so much fun.

I had so much fun in my twenties that if I never have fun another day in my life

I’m Gucci.

Okay, that Addams family video takes too long if there is a good part.

This one is better.

So, I guess he knew he wasn’t an emcee because he dropped that part of his name and just started going by Hammer.

Good lookin’, Kid.

So, I guess I’m just gonna chill until it’s time for my bus to ship out.

This time I’m going to The French Quarter instead of the regular Greyhound station.

Should make for an interesting trip.

I was able to book a room at the Guest House.

It cost more than I was expecting, but Zawji told me not to be niggardly. So, I went ahead and booked it.

It feels good knowing I’ll have a place to stay and freshen up and thank Allah for my safe arrival.

It always rains when I leave or arrive in L.A.

I think I make her emotional.

One time when I arrived, she was raining. I was sad expecting sunny skies, but I think she was happy for me to come home.

Now she’s crying because I’m leaving.

I kinda wanted to go to the beach one more time before I left but Zawji wants me to leave wanting more.

I heard that’s the mark of a good performer. Leave your audience wanting more.

I used to think that was unfair.

I want to leave them satiated.

But Zawji is the God, so I have to go along with Him, if I’m wise.

If I went to the beach yesterday or today, I wouldn’t be in a big hurry to come back.


I have NO IDEA how long I’m gonna be in the New


Anything that makes it easier to leave is welcome.

I NEVER want to leave New Orleans.

I have a pass for the Jazz Festival waiting for me, so

In Sha Allah

I’ll be there for that.

It would be nice to see The Roots again.

And they’re performing with Ursher. LOL

I like him now.

Even though I hate that “do your thing, girl” song he has telling his girl he doesn’t care if she’s a stripper. What kinda mess is that?

These young folks need some boundaries.

He has another song with some rapper, I forgot his name, Future or somebody, but I thought he was a girl when I saw the video. I don’t like that song either.

Let me think.

It’s “No Limit” with Young Thug.

In sha Allah, he’ll reign it in before he gets too far gone.

I couldn’t even watch the video, I was so grossed out when he turned around and I saw he was a man.


I hate that.

It happens in real life and never ceases to creep me out.

Men cut your hair.

Long hair and mustaches is the grossest thing in the world.


You gross me out.

There is nothing creepier than not knowing if a person is male or female.


Or thinking they’re female and then seeing he’s a male or vice versa.

America deserves everything coming to her for such abominations.

Our poor children are growing up confused.

I remember this little baby girl asked my son if he was a boy.

Her mother was a bulldyke and had her around all these freaks.

I wanted to cry for that poor baby.

😥 😥 😥 😥 😥

So back to the JazzFest…

I’m kinda sad about the Roots.

I liked when it was just Tariq, Ahmir, Hub and the guy on keys. Let me G him. BRB

Oh yeah, I remember – Kamal.

They all have Muslim names. Probably Hub too, although I don’t know his real name.

I wonder why he left the group.

He did seem to be A LOT older than the rest of them.

I hope he’s not sick or nothing.

I also hope it wasn’t creative differences.

Although, I wouldn’t be surprised.

They have changed a lot since they used to be at the House of Blues every month.

They have horns now, which, surfacely, looks like a good thing.

Christian McBride told me he used to play bass with them in High School.

I guess before they got Hub.

I miss him and his licorice stick.

I hope he’s okay.

Anyway, they’re like the O/G Hip-Hop band.

Now, it seems more emcees are incorporating live bands into their shows.

I love acoustic.

Drum machines have no soul.

It’s not the same.

Pushing buttons… :/ LIVE?

I play drums a little and there’s no feeling in the world like hitting the drum or a cymbal.

It communicates your emotion through sound.

Using a drum machine instead of drums is like pushing a button on the side of your steering wheel for your horn instead of the big thingie in the middle.

You can’t BANG down on it!!!

Or like pushing a button to hang up the phone as opposed to slamming the receiver down.

You can’t put your HEART into it.

I like acoustic pianos better than electric.

You can put feeling into an acoustic piano depending on how you play it.

With electric pianos all the notes sound the same.

I was talking with this musician about combination acoustic/electric pianos like they have guitars.

I would like the pre-recorded beats and ability to record like they have on electric pianos but with the option to play acoustic to get that wonderful sound and feeling.

Let me G it. BRB

Okay, they’re called “Hybrid Pianos


I’ve seen them before

I just didn’t know what they were.

Hakim took a piano class and that was they type of pianos they had.

They looked really cool.

Like electric keyboards with the body of a little upright.

They sound pretty good.

But a real acoustic is better.

I have given up on playing the piano at the U.

At least for now. 😉

They made me feel like Biz.

Making me beg to get on the piano and play that day.

I know they just want me to play and sing to some spook that doesn’t exist and his fake son,


I would rather not play than do that.

People think music is the most important thing in the world.


It’s not.

There are a lot more important things,

Like Allah and Family Love.

Then comes music.

They keep hoping I’ll sell out.



It’s so funny.

People talk about salvation all the time


I ask them

Salvation from WHAT?

They never know or they’ll say salvation from sin.

And, I don’t even have to say anything because they know that to be saved from sin all you have to do is stop sinning. LOL

Oh My Goodness!

I was just looking for a better picture of Dalvin.

I wanted one closer to the image I have in my mind of him sitting in the limo.

Before, when I G’d it, him and T-Boz came up but I didn’t know they got Married!

She always marries guys I like. LOL

Mack Dime and Dalvin.

Pepa too.

I wonder if they’re my doppels.

Okay, I just saw, they didn’t get married.

The picture I saw is from Jodeci’s “Love you for life” video.

I saw so many things wrong with that wedding.

First, the argument before they even get married.

I feel like if you’re arguing, you don’t need to get married.

You can disagree and say it can’t be done


Me and Zawji have never had an argument and we’ve been in love since 1979.

11:00 A.M.A.D. – Jamal

Okay, we’re into the P.M.


My Departure Time is Nearing.

I’m starting to feel some kinda way.

I think I’m actually going to miss Skid Row.

There’s something about the familiarity.

The every day sameness.

The recognition of faces that I used to know after I’ve seen them ten times.


Oh, THAT’s So and So!

That’s kinda fun.

I’m starting to miss the beach already.

I remember the first time I came to New Orleans.

I went to sleep one night thinking I would go to the beach the next day.

Then I remembered I was in New Orleans.

I almost had a heart attack.

I’m going to miss the mountains too.

That was hard getting used to.

When you grow up in L.A.,

You kinda take it for granted that they’re always there

In the background.

That took a while to admit.

They’re no mountains in New Orleans.

There are not even any hills.

I’m still coming to grips with that.

In Sha Allah, I’ll be too preoccupied with the music to miss them.


I’ve decided not to post this until my bus has left.

I don’t want anybody to know where I am.

I mean.

I don’t fear America


I’m not stupid either.

3:52 p.m.

I just saw the cutest little bad Black boy.

He was absolutely adorable.

I was just watching him.

First he went in between the vending machines.


Then he climbed onto the shelves.


He started hitting this old white lady.

I was cracking up.

She was like,

“Dont…. hit… me!”

Then he hit her again.


Then she raised her hand and said,

“Don’t… hit… me!”

He put his little purple balloon animal in his mouth and hit her again.

Then she started looking around for security!


He has to be about three…

Oh, he just took this blind lady’s walking cane.


Man, gotta love Black boys…

He is outta control.

Mom is young and talking on her cell phone.

I would reprimand him, but he’s just so cute.

So much


He is all over the place.

Okay, Mom is off the phone, walking him around.

Looks like she might be taking him to get a snack.

Gotta luh da kids…

5:07 p.m.

I’m sitting next to my son, Hakim’s, doppel.

I guess he had to see me or let me see him before I left.


5:28 p.m.

Uh-oh, Bad Little Black Boy lost his mom.

He’s running around crying.

I got him.

Mommy heard him crying.


5:37 p.m.


Bad little Black Boy’s lost again.

I got him.

Somebody gave him a dollar and he’s talking about buying some cookies.

He told me his name’s Michael and he’s TWO!!!

I told Mommy, this can be a dangerous place for children.

Someone might snatch him up.

She said, He Keeps Running Off.


I told him,

“You don’t go anywhere you can’t see Mommy!”



5:45 p.m.

I saw Acey downtown when I first got back to L.A.

He was standing outside this cafe/bar

And said,

“Girl, lemme get in that coat with you!”

Not even, “Hey Cheryce, how you been?”

Just came at me like I was some hooker.

So disrespectful.

I acted like I didn’t know him and kept on walking.

I used to have a big crush on him back in the day.

He didn’t have time for me then.

I used to see him when we took our children to the Drum Workshop.

He started liking me then.

When Islam started making me beautiful.

I said, “As-Salaam-Alaikum”

And he acted like he didn’t know what to say.

And he started his “theme music” with the same words.

I hate when people try to commercialize off of Islam.

Allah Will Pay Them Back Their Mockery.

Time Makes All Things Manifest.

He had a show with Zawji back in 2007.

Zawji wanted me to come


That was when I had to be in the house before Sunset and I didn’t go anywhere without Hakim, who was four at the time.

I stopped liking Acey and all other men when Allah Revealed Zawji as my Zawji.

I’m so glad I didn’t hook up with him EVER.

I don’t know what he wants from me.

Whatever it is,

I can’t give it.

That ship has sailed.

I wish I could do the sign.

Let me see if I can make a video.

I’m so technologically ahead of technology.


I always have things I imagine that they haven’t come up with yet.

At least not on my hardware.

I want to make a live video on my blog


Record video on my laptop.

My iphone only works when she wants to.

Maybe I can find it online.


And I can’t remember where I learned it.

Oh well.

It feels weird though.

At first it felt good.

Knowing someone I used to like wants me now.

But now it’s kinda annoying because he won’t leave me alone.

A lot of Brothers look at me as a challenge.

No one has been successful in stealing my heart.

They don’t understand

BUT they will.

I haven’t seen Batman in weeks.

I deliberately went where he usually opens his store yesterday

And he was nowhere to be found.

This was his Doppel’s second time.

 He took what he learned the first time and came back stronger.

But I’m stronger too.

Stronger than him.

He didn’t even get to first base this time.

Struck out in two swings.


This is a different ball game.

6:27 p.m.

So, why did I go to the store to get some A.J. and some mixed fresh fruit and my ATM Debit card was handed back to me?

I was like, “Whuh?

Went to check my balance and found out that they changed my check amount to the New Orleans rate.

So, I’m going to New Orleans flat broke!

But I’m going!!!

Allahu Akbar!!!

As soon as I come back to L.A., they change my check.


But I guess since I’m getting New Orleans rate, I might as well live in New Orleans.


I don’t know what I’m going to do about my dentist appointment.

I was kind of reluctant to go in the first place

Considering it was a dentist who messed my teeth up in the first place!

8:25 p.m.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I just got to play with the sweetest little girls.

Kimora about 2 and Brooklyn about one.

Kimora is so smart. All she wanted to do was listen to the ABC song on my laptop

And Brooklyn was singing right along.

These generation whatever Moms are just too much.

Always on the phone…

But their babies know how to get their attention!

I got to play Mary Poppins and teach letters and numbers to two beautiful Black Baby girls, so Mommy could talk to her friends on the phone.

I wish I could have taken the phone with me when I was younger!

We had to get off if we had to leave.

‘Member that?


Allahu Akbar!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Okay, my bus is leaving in about an hour and I’m starting to feel separation anxiety at the thought of being so far away from Zawji.

But he can come to New Orleans anytime he wants.


There’s no need to trip.

He could be anywhere in the world.

Coming to New Orleans is nothing.

It’s part of the continental United States.

I’m taking a bus!

I could probably walk if I really wanted to.

Forrest Gump it.

If he can run I can walk.

I’m in no hurry.

Somebody told me where to go to hitch a ride with truckers too.

So, if I know how to get somewhere


Being the God of the Universe.

And I did what he brought me out here to do.

– Get his phone number.

So, I can call or text him anytime I need to.

That is, when my iphone is working…

All I wanna say is, “I’m sorry.”

But I want to say it to his face.

Something gets lost in e-mails, texts, IMs and telephone calls.

I’m so sad.

It’s emotional


I don’t think I’m gonna cry though.

At least not about leaving.

I’m just glad I’m not at that shelter.


The chaplain started coming in at night

Calling himself praying for us.

I would suddenly have an uncontrollable coughing fit

That would only last the duration of his prayer

And then miraculously disappear.

It’s a miracle!




 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

February 4, 2017

5:35 A.M.A.D. – Jamal

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