بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم




by the Honourable Elijah Muhammad[(PBUH])

“Which flag will survive the War of Armageddon?

“Armageddon is the final war of Judgment and separation of the righteous from the wicked, of which I am sent to teach…

“This is a question that is asked the mentally dead of my people in America, the so-called Negroes. This question is to show the answerer that he fully agrees that the Sun, Moon and Star will survive the Cross, or the flag of America known as the Stars and Stripes. Everyone who is asked this question answers that the Crescent will survive America’s flag and the emblem of Christianity, which is the Cross. A fool knows that the sun, moon and stars will survive any nation.

“Then comes the next question. Since you believe that the Crescent will survive, why not accept Islam and the flag and Crescent emblem which represents the Sun, Moon and the Stars?”

As-Salaam-Alaikum Dearly Beloved Sisters & Brothers

Lately, I’ve noticed that my conversations have been primarily about this War between America and Islam – ARMAGEDDON.

They will not tell you that that’s what it really is. They will tell you that they are fighting “Terrorists“. So they call it the War on Terror.

But let us take a closer look at these “terrorists” and see what they all have in common.

1. The Taliban
2. Al Qaida
3. The Islamic State in Iraq and Syria (ISIS)
4. The Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL)
5. The “Lone Wolves

They are all Muslims. But America will not admit that. You will have to put two and two together for yourself.

It is a War against ISLAM/MUSLIMS. No matter what they call it. The bottom line is they are all Muslims.

Armageddon is the Final War. It is a Holy War that will reestablish peace on our Earth because it will remove the peace-breakers – Christians – from our planet once and for all.

Armageddon is the War wherein Truth battles falsehood and falsehood battles Truth.

Islam is The Truth. Everything else is falsehood. We are living in the Day and Time when the veil of falsehood MUST be removed and the Truth made known.

Allah (God) is bringing about an end to the people worshiping Him in any manner they choose.

Allah (God) Gave Us A Way Of Life (Islam) when He Created us and Taught us how He Wants us to worship Him.

Christianity has so poisoned the so-called American Negroes that we are like a dead man. Mentally without life. And, it is like trying to raise a man from the dead to awaken the spiritually and mentally dead so-called American Negroes.

We have been made blind, deaf and dumb and mentally DEAD to The Knowledge of our own selves – all because of the devil’s slave-making religion of Christianity.

Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises are Due Forever, said, “If Christianity was put in a wet rag and wrung out, every drop would spell SLAVERY.” He said, the Bible, in its present form is “a poison book” and the Christian church is “the graveyard of our people” which is why they have a cross on top.

He also taught us that “the greatest hindrance to the salvation of the so-called American Negroes is the preacher of Christianity” who will not accept the Truth nor is he content to see anyone else accept the Truth of his or her own salvation.

Christianity has been the tool the slave-makers used to make and keep us enslaved. Upon acceptance of our True Religion – ISLAM – the person is freed from bondage “in the blink of an eye.

The Flag on the right (above) is THE UNIVERSAL FLAG OF ISLAM – THE SUN, MOON AND STAR. The red background symbolizes the Sun which shines on us freely. The “F” in our Flag stands for FREEDOM.

The Star and Crescent are both in the Sun. We only have one Star in our Flag which represents ALL of the Stars in the Universe. The Star Symbolizes JUSTICE. If you notice, when a person is qualified to enforce the Law of the land, they wear a Star. The “J” in our Flag stands for JUSTICE.

The Moon symbolizes EQUALITY because it was a part of the Earth at one time, therefore it is EQUAL with the Earth. The Moon is also a symbol of the Black Nation in the Wilderness of North America because although we were stolen from our land and people we are still equal with the civilized people of the Earth. The “E” in our Flag stands for EQUALITY.

All three – Freedom, Justice and Equality – a person immediately receives upon his or her acceptance of ISLAM, which is what the “I” stands for in our Flag.


To learn more about our Universal Flag of Islam you may click here.

Under the “Stars and Stripes” AND the “Stars and Bars” (Confederate Flag)

all we ever received was SLAVERY, SUFFERING AND DEATH. Don’t call it “Ol’ Glory.” It’s “OL’ HELL” to you and me.

Thankfully, there is no way in Hell the Stars and Stripes, Stars and Bars or any flag representing the white devils will ever survive The Universal Flag of Islam – The SUN, MOON AND STAR.

The Sun, Moon and Star were here trillions of years before the making of white Christian race (America/Cross/Stars&Stripes) and they will be here forever.

Can you say the same for America (Stars & Stripes?)

“That it is a crime, or that these words (which one — meaning the American flag or the Islamic flag — will survive the War of Armageddon, or Holy War, or the war to end wars) are considered a crime or a teaching to incite insurrection or revolution to take America by force, cannot be proven to be truth by anyone who may read this or may have attended one of our meetings.”




بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم


As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved Sisters & Brothers

Dearly Beloved Brothers and Sisters, I have come to learn that gangbanging is still going on in our communities. This disappoints me, but I am going to try and put a new perspective on eliminating gang culture.

The truce method obviously doesn’t work – at least not 100 per cent. So, I am going to try to eliminate gangs by convincing gang members that RED is better than Blue, so we should all unite under RED.

It’s about colors anyway….

The color RED symbolizes TRUTH, while blue symbolizes falsehood. Hear me out.

RED is the primary color in the FLAG of the Universe – The Sun, Moon & Star. The Red background in the flag symbolizes the SUN. The Sun is a Red Ball of Fire, which brings out the TRUE colors in a thing.

Blue is just the opposite. IT IS FALSE. In television production, when a person stands in front of a blue screen, the producers are then enabled to put a picture of anything they want behind them. It is a false background.

We say there’s a blue sky. Well… you can go up there a million miles and you will never find any blue. It is a false sky. It appears blue because of a gas called ether which comes up from the earth into the atmosphere.

RED is also a better color because it symbolizes FREEDOM. The Sun in our Flag shines on everybody freely regardless of income, religion, age, race, gender or location. It is better than BLUE just as TRUTH is better than FALSE, as we all agree.



Our Beloved Messenger, The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) teaches on the meaning of the two colors in the following lecture




بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

This IS A Blog About HOMEMAKING 😀

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Hog Made of Cat, Rat and Dog

Eat one meal a day or one meal every other day, if you are able to. And, eat the food that Allah has prescribed for us. Stay away from the poison food that dresses the Christian’s table. You do not have to eat every variety of food on the earth to be healthy, for two varieties of good food is sufficient.

THERE ARE GOOD vegetables for you to eat and there is good fruit for you to eat. And, if you want some meat, there is some good meat growing out there you can eat without eating the poison meat (the pig). The white man’s greatest desire is that you do that which breaks the Divine Law by eating this poison flesh. Everything God says “Thou shall not do,” he says “Thou shall do.”

You watch him. He is not a friend of God nor is he a doer or a lover of His Law. They were made by nature to be opposers to God and His Law and the righteous people. And, you see them living other than Divine Law.

They are always in trouble; always sick; fighting and disagreeing with each other.

No people should expect peace and contentment who are opposed to the Law of God or obedience to Him that brings us into such conditions of life. Since God has exposed them and exposed the hog, they now will say to you “cook it thoroughly done and it is all right to eat.” It is not all right to eat it if you cook it thoroughly and kill every pork worm there is in it. The actual flesh then is still poison and is divinely prohibited flesh that you should not even touch – not to think of eating it, for it was not made to eat. It was made for medical purposes for the white race and I have taught you time and again, that God taught me they did not make the hog to be taken as a food, but made it for medical purposes.

Since there is a poison in it, the flesh of swine will cure most any kind of disease. Take a slice of this “fatty” and “salty” pork and you have a boil on you some place, full of fever; lay a piece of fat on it and it will soon draw it out.

IT IS A MEDICINE and not food. This is not all it will do in a curing way. I do not have time and space here to put this in this article, but the white man knows and he will bear me witness that I am teaching you the truth of this hog. Medical scientists and our own doctors are fast learning, since I have been writing this article on HOW TO EAT TO LIVE and are now cooperating with me and agreeing with me that the hog is a poison that we should not eat, though they may be eating it themselves. But, they have to acknowledge the truth. Some of them are intelligent enough now, for the last few years, to start getting away from eating it.

Who wants to eat the combination of these fleshes: cat, rat, and dog? This is what the hog is made of — the dog, cat and rat, and the Bible teaches you that he is from a mouse. Read Isaiah 66:17, “They that sanctify themselves, and purify themselves in the gardens behind one tree in the midst, eating swine’s flesh, and the abomination, and the mouse, shall be consumed together, saith the Lord.”

The so-called American Negro is a product of evil and filth, produced by the white man of slavery. He is more a true believer in the evils and filth of the white man than the white man himself. As it is written (Bible), when he (devil) makes a convert, he makes him seven times more the child of hell than himself. This is the so-called American Negro. He is turned into a person seven times worse than he originally was.

So, do not think that you are Divinely safe eating pork after you think you have cooked it so done you have killed the pork worms in it. The flesh alone – not to say eating it – is Divinely prohibited to touch. This, the white man knows, but what does he care? He eats anything.





Eat one meal a day of good food that Allah (God) prescribes for us.

Strict Orthodox Jews follow the law that Allah gave to Moses on what food to eat and those strict Jews will not eat the prohibited foods that Allah made prohibited. So, their food is good for you, Allah teaches us in the Holy Qur-an. And, the Strict Muslim food is good for the Jew.

TOUCH NOT that which Allah has forbidden to be touched. There are many tricks that the devil is playing on the total population in our foods and drinks so we have to be on our guard when we go to the market to purchase our food.

There are some people who love to eat poison foods and drinks and they write me trying to defend themselves in eating other than good foods. One writer asked me a question on the eating of hog for cure. Sometime ago, I wrote that the white race is saying if you cook it (the hog) thoroughly done, you are destroying this pork worm in it. But, I also remind you that the very flesh is Divinely prohibited and that you should not even touch the flesh – not to think of eating it.

Regardless to how long you cook it, you still should not eat it.



Swine Eats Anything

The safest way of all to eat, is to stop eating so often (three meals a day and meals between those three meals). In the past, our appetites were as the appetites of swine. The swine has no certain time to eat. It will eat until it is sick and has to lay down, but as soon as it finds a vacancy in its stomach, it eats more food. It doesn’t matter what kind of food it may be; the swine eats anything. The swine’s life is very short, because it comes here eating itself to death and death soon takes it away.

WE EAT TOO much too often, and we eat the wrong foods (poison foods). Most of our drinks are poison.

Allah has blessed America with the best of foods and with good water that is plentiful. America has been blessed with everything that she could desire, but after all of these blessings, she is ungrateful and turns good things into bad, and wages a war against the God of good and His People.

After telling the slaves they were free, America kept them here in order to prey upon them. Now today, many of the slaves wish to be free of America, but her reply by her actions to our wanting to be free is “no.” And America continues to give the so-called Negroes the same bad food and drink that her (America’s) fathers did in the days of servitude slavery.

AMERICA’S markets are loaded with swine, and loaded with vegetables and fruits which are preserved and made to look beautiful by having poison chemicals poured upon them. There are thousands, tens of thousands, and hundreds of thousands of herds of cattle and there are hundreds of thousands of fowls. Yet, Americans decorate their tables with the divinely prohibited flesh – the swine, and represent themselves as being the true Christian followers of Jesus.

Americans have poison whiskey and wine by the barrels and vats all over the country, yet when this does not make them intoxicated (drunk) and crazy enough, they resort to drugs (the poison weeds).

ALLAH HAS blessed them with so much bread that they set whole fields of good wheat on fire. They burn up the wheat in order to obtain higher prices for it. They are crazy over money and wealth.

Now today, Allah threatens America with all kinds of plagues – not one kind, but many kinds. Allah withholds the rains from her wheat fields; sends terrific cold and snow upon her fertile bread basket areas; kills her cattle, livestock and fowls; and kills her fish that are inland in ponds and rivers, with droughts.

ALL OF these plagues are falling upon America because she is against God’s giving freedom, justice and equality to the so-called Negroes, whose labor she has had for 400 years. Because of America’s having broken the Divine Law which prohibits eating swine flesh, and because of her having fed this forbidden meat to her slaves and to other nations of the earth, Allah (God), is now taking His blessings away from her.



Pork Contains Worms (Trichinae)

Eat one meal a day or one meal every two days, if you are able. If you eat the proper food, and not poison food and drink, you will prolong your life, make yourself youthful, and will keep away sickness, and suffering (even colds), said Allah to me in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom praises are due forever.

KEEP THE body and the mind clean. Do good to self and to others. Keep away from evil and remember Allah always, and He Who Came in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom praises are due forever, will remember you. But, you must eat pure food (the food that Allah has pointed out to us to eat) and stay away from that which He Forbids us to eat, such as swine flesh (the hog).

I will be a happy man when I see the day that our Black people forsake the hog. This divinely prohibited flesh (the swine) can be the cause of most of our sickness. The professional people, such as doctors and religious scholars and scientists, know this to be true. But, in this wicked world (of the white race) they were made to teach against the good Law and Guidance of Almighty God, Allah, to Whom praises are due forever.

ALL THAT God Says “thou shall not do” the white race says “thou shall do,” or “thou should do.” And then, they are bold enough to ask you “what is wrong with eating pig.”

The hog, according to the teachings of God, in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom praises are due forever, is very poisonous. It contains more poison than a rattlesnake. Of course white people eat rattlesnakes. It is not the flesh of the rattlesnake which is so poisonous, but the sac full of poison, which it carries in its mouth. When the rattlesnake strikes it empties the sac of poison into your flesh. This causes death to the victim, if he does not receive attention quickly. But, the actual flesh of the hog is 999% poison (nearly 1000%) as taught to me by God, in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom praises are due forever. This poison is not going to kill you instantly. It drags you along for many years.

IT IS a very deceitful poison. It is in the form of live worms commonly called pork worms (trichinae). In a hog eater’s body, these worms multiply by the millions. They first enter the walls of the stomach and then from the stomach pass out into the intestinal walls. And from the intestines they travel up the back in the spinal cord into the muscles of the body and finally into the brain. When these worms get into these two places, last mentioned (of the body), the disease becomes incurable.

Look at the pictures in physiology books or in the dictionary where this worm is enlarged several hundred times.

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The lives of people with such poisonous worms in their bodies are usually limited to less than one hundred years, and for many, less than seventy years. There are a few who live past a hundred years, whose constitutions may have been much stronger than others.

YOU MAY say, “one hundred years is all I would want to live.” No, this is not the Truth. You would like to live a hundred thousand years if you could, when death approaches you, for this is the law of life; it always wants to stay here.

Eating any kind of flesh is not good for us, not even beef. No animal flesh can be said to be good for human consumption, not even fowls, and very few fish, not to think of the scavengers of the waters, such as crabs, shrimps and oysters.

We must learn to eat vegetables and fruits and stay away from land flesh. It is a little difficult for us to suddenly stop eating beef, lamb, and chicken, but we must wean away from such flesh gradually.

EATING one meal a day prolongs your life if you eat the right food. People will soon live a life of one thousand years, after the removal of this wicked world.


The Truth About Pork (The Pig)

Pork or pig, all its parts and by-products, has been a chief food for the so-called American Negro since the days of his physical bondage. The pig was not made for human consumption. The pig is the chief cause of many of the ills and mental deficiencies occurring among the so-called American Negroes and any other people who eat it.

The pig is a mass of worms. Each mouthful you eat is not a nutritious food but a mass of small worms the naked eye cannot detect. Worms thrive in the hog. When these worms are digested into your system, they cause a high birth rate to hundreds of new worms called larvae which travels the blood stream of your system and lodge in your muscles. These worms even enter your brain, lungs or your spinal fluid. They cause muscular aches, fever and many other symptoms of sickness. The worm has an amazing ability to go undetected in your system for many years.

The scientific name for the ill-causing worm found in all pork is Trichinella spiralis which causes trichinosis.

Despite what veterinarians, public health officials, the Agricultural Department or your doctor say, the best defense against the pig is DO NOT EAT IT! When you do eat it, you do not hurt God, His Messenger, the Muslim or anyone else. You hurt yourself.

Thorough and slow cooking of pork does not remove the danger of the worms found in all pork. Additional cooking of pork purchased in the summer or processed pork products does not make the worm-infested pork safe for eating.

Inspection and governmental seals on pork do not remove the danger of the worms yet in the pork to make it safe for you to eat.

Some say never taste raw sausage or any raw pork. It is best not to eat pork, raw, processed, cooked, smoked, cured, or seasoned.

You are what you eat, so why not eat the best and be the best. Do not allow this rotten, diseased meat to be sold in your neighborhoods or brought into your homes.

Pork is often referred to as “cured.” The word “cured” is the past tense of the verb “cure.” If a meat has to be cured before we eat it, we should not even take the chance to eat it.

In the Bible and the Holy Qur-an, it is the Divine will of God that the pig should not be eaten and God has never changed this instruction, despite the white man’s setting up governmental bureaus to grade and approve the selling of pork.

The so-called Negroes should ban this meat from their communities and all those who sell and eat it!



Know Truth About Flesh of the Swine

I told you how Allah taught me the birth of the swine, and for the purpose for making this animal only was for the whites. Because of their being a grafted race, they were made weaker, physically, through the man from whom they came (the Black man). Since the body of the grafted is weaker than the original body, it would be easier for them to attract germs than the original man. You should not argue with me about this because all of the diseases that trouble us today – from social disease to cancer – came from the white race, one way or another.

Do not tell me about four or five hundred years or one thousand years; I am referring to this people’s entire historical scope. They have had 6,000 years to mix and poison our people. Some of you are foolish enough to accept all the blame. But God clears you of it. This refers to those who love the devils so well they would like to dispute God about them. I am teaching, only, you the truth – take it or leave it.

They are too wise to dispute the truth. Read the story in the Bible where Jesus met a man who was possessed of evil spirits. When the evil spirits recognized Jesus to be from God – knowing they would have no chance to contend with him over their presence in the man where they did not belong – they pleaded with Jesus to let them go into the swine, and Jesus agreed. The man who was possessed of evil spirits was none other than the American so-called Negroes. The evil spirits in them are from the white race, making them eat the divinely-prohibited flesh of the swine. The devils were allowed to go into the swine. They ran down a steep place into a lake or sea and perished.

Here the picture changes; the meaning changes a bit. The hog was made for the white race for medical purposes – not even for them to eat it – but they could eat it if they wanted to, since they were created to be destroyed. They use this hog in much of their medical preparation, even to the German 606 (606 poison germs).

Allah taught me that one of these germs came from the swine. However, the white man will advise you to eat it. He would have you think the swine is cleaner now than he was in Jesus’ time, but wouldn’t God know – 4,000 years from Moses – if this swine would be clear of poison? You admit God is a Fore-knower.

The whole story was twisted around. They want you to think God did not know about this process of the devils leaving the man and entering the swine until after it happened. Actually, God knew it was going to happen before it took place. Using deceit, they have succeeded in getting you to eat the swine as food, though it was made to produce a poisonous germ for medical purposes in curing the diseases of the white race.

This is how he makes you to break all of the commandments of God. Because he is God’s enemy and yours and mine, he has you breaking the divine law. We did this because we saw him doing it and at that time had no teacher of our own. These are the tricks of your hidden enemies and their own concocted religion called Christianity, which is deceiving and leading you to your doom with them.

I am your brother, and Allah has revealed to me the truth for your salvation. Jesus also prophesied that the truth would free you – that is, if you accept the truth. The thing you must understand in this parable of Jesus is that, actually, the visible swine could not have gone crazy and choked in the sea or lake, because of the spirit of the devil was sent in them in the meaning that Jesus wants you to understand. The swine that was choked to death in the sea after the spirit of the devil was taken out of the man, the believers among the so-called American Negroes, and the swine that ran into the lake and perished, is the disbelievers among the so-called Negroes who refuse to accept the truth. They will be cast alive in a lake of fire with the devils.

As you have in the Bible, Lucifer’s (Yakub) fall also represents the fall of his race. The lake or sea in which they choked and perished, is the same lake mentioned in the Revelations of John – that all that had the mark of the beast, the representatives of the beast and the false prophets (priests and preachers of Christianity) are referred to as being cast alive in a lake of fire.

I hope you understand. What I am trying to get over is that you who reject Allah and His true religion – entire submission to His will as the Arabs call it, Islam – will perish in the lake of fire with this race of adversaries of Allah and His true religion, to which they refuse to submit. They now are trying to woo you into sharing hell-fire with them, though they know that you have a chance to go to heaven while they do not.

I cannot force you to halt your down-hill plunge with them into the lake of fire. I only have been missioned to warn you in the simplest language. I cannot force you to go to hell or heaven.

Your sweethearting and wanting to marry them is like a frog trying to court a rattlesnake. The rattlesnake gives the frog freedom to do so because he intends to swallow the frog. Taking the death dealing pill and the knife to destroy your future generations are examples. Socializing with them is no sign of justice, but a sign that they have deceived you into going to hell with them. Take it leave it.




Stop Eating It (Pig)

I think we have said enough about the poison animal called, in Arabic, khanzier (khan meaning, “I see,” and zier meaning “very foul”). Beyond a shadow of a doubt the swine is the filthiest and foulest animal human beings could have resorted to for food. The flesh of the swine, while cooking, has a very different smell from that of other animal’s flesh while cooking. And even when it is not being cooked, it is full of worms.

In many cases, the eater of the flesh becomes nauseated when the flesh is being fried in the early morning. It is a divinely prohibited flesh and God (Allah) has prohibited you and me, my Brothers and Sisters of the Black Nation, from eating it or even touching its dead carcass.

Please, for our health’s sake, stop eating it; for our beauty’s sake, stop eating it; for our obedience to God and His Laws against this flesh, stop eating it; for a longer life, stop eating it and for the sake of modesty, stop eating it.

Do you know, that if we, the 22 million lost-found members of our Nation here, in America, would stop eating this pig, (his poison swine flesh), it would mean a great economic savings to us? And I do not think the government would be so eager to eat it themselves if we would obey this Divine law against the divinely prohibited flesh. There is an old, foolish answer our people have given to such advice: “the white folks eat it, and my grandparents ate it, and they lived to be 75 and 80 years old.”

If Noah and Methuselah had heard you boasting that your parents lived only 75 or 80 years eating poison, they would have considered your parents as never having grown up to become adults, according to their good way of eating the best food, about twice a week, and living nearly 1,000 of our present calendar years which consists of 365 days.

God does not punish us for the crime of disobedience to His law if we are ignorant of His laws. But after knowledge of His laws, He is justified in punishing us by setting the full penalty according to the disobedience.

As I have previously said in this book, most vegetables that are sold on the public market are good to eat with the exception of those Allah prohibits, such as collard greens and the rough turnip salads. You have plenty of other vegetables to eat. And, you have good peas other than lima beans; field butter beans, called baby lima beans, and black eyed peas (field peas as we called them).

Eat the good fruit and the good vegetables according to your condition. Some of us cannot eat even the best of these because of the condition of our health.

You are your judge there.





One woman judge in Washington, standing against the force-feeding of the swine to the Muslims through their food was one of the [only] voices against pork that I have ever read. The eating of swine flesh is against the Christian religion according to its teachings. The Christians make this swine flesh a prohibited flesh among their own religion, but then they force it on another religious group. This shows the hypocrisy of the Christians.

It is in papers that they transport all over the world for people to read and follow after, while they, themselves, are not following it. It is in the Bible where we have so much against the eating of the swine flesh, and it goes so far as to teach against even touching the carcass of the swine. But, in Christian America, selling and eating swine is one of the greatest markets that she has. The hog is sacrificed in the church, is barbecued on the church grounds, and they ask the God’s Blessings on the curse that He Made against eating the hog. This action of the Christians is one of the most open condemnations of the law and rules that they represent against using this Divinely prohibited flesh of the hog.

They glorify the eating of the hog as though God is with them to eat what He has made a curse, as Isaiah mentioned it, they called themselves in eating hog (Bible 66:17) Now here comes the Muslims who have been the slaves of Christian America, wanting to obey the Bible, but they are tried by force to not obey the Bible. The Brotherhood of the Muslims is what Paul and his Epistles preached; the Brotherhood gets to clear sunshine.

Christian America is not Christian, because Christian means to be one and one in Christ. Everything that the Bible teaches is against the Divine Law of God, is practiced by the Christians.

I think this judge, Mrs. Burnita Shelton Matthews should be given credit not only by us, the Muslims, but by the world of Christianity; as she is not speaking so much in our favor as she is speaking to Christians who are failing to do these things themselves. Stay away from the swine, instead of trying to force the swine on others. The Christian religion teaches the same against the eating and partaking of the swine flesh.

The Pig is Poison

Do not eat the swine. Do not use any form of tobacco. Do not smoke it or chew it. According to medical scientists, the tobacco weed affects the whole body. The heart, lungs, liver, kidney and bladder can be affected by the use of tobacco.

WOULD THE government like for you to stop using the tobacco weed – yes or no? The government harvests a great revenue from the tax on tobacco, therefore, it would not like to stop its citizens from using tobacco. But, if the taxpayer is losing his life by producing and using the tobacco weed, the government, yet, will not win.

The poor man who uses quite a bit of tobacco and is not able to pay the doctor’s bill for the harm that the tobacco will cause in his body, may have to go on charity. The taxpayers will have to pay the doctor’s bill to cure the illnesses that are caused by using tobacco.

So, it does not make sense for the government to continue to allow the citizens of its country to use a poison that it knows is gradually taking the lives of its citizens.

THE PIG IS another poison people are eating. The government takes no steps towards stopping the raising of swine to be marketed for the people to eat, because it is another thing that brings much money to the government. But all the medical scientists know the hog should not be eaten as food by anyone.

It just shows how wicked the Christian race is. They preach “Thou shall not do this” and point it out in their religious book (Bible) and yet they are the ones who are breaking every forbidden thing of their law.

But, since we now have been given the truth from the mouth of God of this race of people – that they are not what we thought they were and that they are only a race of devils by nature – why should we expect anything from the devils but evil? They cannot be devils and be good.

WE HAVE been made so blind, deaf, and dumb to knowing the people who have exercised rule and authority over us. We have wondered, time and again, why they treat us so wickedly.

But now we have been taught from the mouth of God the true knowledge of this people and ourselves, why should we be so foolish now to continue to follow them for right guidance? They could not guide us rightly, when by nature they were created to deceive and mislead.

The Bible is full of the teachings of the true knowledge of the nature of the devil, from Genesis to the Revelations, but we did not understand the Bible. Now, the truth has come and the knowledge of the book (Bible) has been made known.

SO, EAT THE good food that Allah (God) has given to us and stay away from the things that are no good and poison.







Image result for no easter


(The Honorable Elijah Muhammad)


Nimrod married his mother Ester when Moses (Musa) was sent to the devils 4,000 years ago. This meant the end of the Blackman’s power to keep them in their boundaries of Europe. This brought them out of the caves putting them on the road to the conquest of Asia, (Black, Brown, Red and Yellow man).

Nimrod killed his father and began sleeping with his mother, Ester, known today as the holiday called Easter.

She had children by her son Nimrod, making Nimrod his own father and son, which was the beginning of the lie that God and son are one and the same. It’s true that this made Nimrod, his own father but the father and the son could never be identical. This is also where the lie originated of the “Immaculate Conception” woman giving birth without the agency of man.

Nimrod and his mother were worshipped by the people, and knowing that if they found out that she was bearing her son’s children they would not respect her, she lied telling the people that the spirit was visiting her, giving her babies. The people, being paganish, believed those lies thus establishing a holiday called Easter commemorating her birthday. They used the sign of the rabbit, which is an over-sexed animal; and eggs representing the first stage of the “embryo” chicken, which is capable of laying eggs without a male, was also used.

Nimrod would go into Asia robbing the brothers of their wealth. Using his unalike attracting power, he was able to steal and divide the brothers. The cross originated as a symbol meaning death and dividing the four brothers, so that Nimrod could rule. The cross is used in most European nations today in their flag in the same form.

Christmas being Nimrod’s birthday has all the signs; the evergreen meaning everlasting life for the Caucasian; the ornaments signifies all the riches and pretty things that the Blackman has. The star on the top of the tree, meaning the devils brain as being powerful enough to keep the Blackman divided, or in the cross.

Santa Claus is the symbol of Nimrod bringing gifts back to Europe from Asia. A pagan religion was adopted by the Jews in Judaism. They didn’t want the Blackman’s religion, Islam, nor would they accept the Yellowman’s religion, Buddhism, the whiteman had to invent himself a religion that would fit his nature, for his being evil, his religion had to be flexible enough to allow him to practice his evil and worship statues, drink blood (wine), eat (body flesh), etc.

They applied the teachings of Moses (Islam) to paganism, thus Judaism began. Judaism kept the Jews a united people. The other devils used parts of Judaism, paganism and combined all those teachings together, thus began Catholicism, out of Catholicism they invented Christianity 551 years ago. We wouldn’t expect a whiteman to accept a Black, Brown, Red and Yellowman’s religion. They hate everything Black… That stands for Black.

Christmas was set up as a memorial to Nimrod. The Christmas tree is an “Evergree tree”, this means that it is green or has life, all year round and does not die out like other trees.

1. Evergreen tree is used at Christmas as a symbol to represent everlasting life for the white race.

2. It sits in a box held in place by a cross which represents the division of the four brothers; Black, Brown, Red and Yellow, which support the white race.

3. The trinkets and ornaments represents the riches, wealth and knowledge of the Blackman which was stolen by Nimrod and brought back to the white race in Europe.

4. The star on top of the tree represents the superior brain power of the white race to remain on top.

5. Santa Claus represents Nimrod bringing the riches of the Blackman back to Europe. (They do not explain where Santa Claus gets the presents from do they).

Note: Santa Claus robbing Black people at Christmas is similar to Nimrod’s work

Note: This also is included at the end of Nimrod’s history: Judaism is a mixture of Moses’ teachings, Islam, and paganism to make it more flexible.

December 25th is the birthday of Nimrod. Nimrod is mentioned in the Bible (Old Testament) as a mighty, mighty hunter in opposition to God. This is because he turned against the teachings of Moses. Nimrod was a white man who was born 300 years before Christ. He took the teachings of Moses and used them as a game to set up the early pagan Empires such as Greece and Rome. According to the Bible, he is the son of Cush. He went among the pagan white people of Europe who rejected the teachings of Moses and used the knowledge to become ruler of the people.

Nimrod killed his father and married his mother whose name was Ester. Today called Easter…When Nimrod’s wife (mother) had her first child he feared that the people would lose respect for him if they knew he was making babies through his own mother (it was a secret that they were married) therefore, to fool the people, Nimrod told the people that the Holy Ghost had impregnated his mother. This was the beginning of the great lie told about the birth of Jesus. The lie that a woman can have a baby without the agency of the male sperm. This lie began 300 years before Jesus was born.

Easter is Ester’s birthday. The rabbit is used because he is an oversexed animal (but a rabbit does not lay eggs). There is more to this but I will not include it now. Just like Alexander the Great, Nimrod went among the original people to divide and rob them of their wealth.

To rob the original has always been the work of the white race.

Nimrod would bring the wealth back to his own people in Europe. For this they loved him as a ruler. This is what all the white explorers and conquerors have done; from John Hawkins to the Peace Corps.





In the Name of Allah, The Beneficent, The Merciful

“Using birth control for a social purpose is a sin.”

– The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)

This video documents the legal procedures devil Caucasians have exercised to eliminate the Black Nation in America, throughout the history of this country. By far, the most successful method OF KILLING BLACK PEOPLE has been what we now know as, “PLANNED PARENTHOOD”.

download (31)



Chapter 35

Birth Control Death Plan!

To the Lost-Found members of the tribe of Shabazz (the so-called Negroes), I warn you my people and especially the women. Be aware of the tricks the devils are using to instill the idea of a false birth control in their clinics and hospitals.


The example of the clinic in Fauquier County, Virginia, where poor and helpless black mothers are pressured into accepting sterilization is certainly not confined to that clinic alone.

It would be better to do as many African and Asian husbands and wives have done, to take care of these matters yourselves rather than rely on such treachery and deceitful counsel.

I say beware of being trapped into the kind of disgraceful birth control laws now aimed almost exclusively at poor, helpless black peoples who have no one to rely on.

Who wants a sterile woman?

No man wants a non-productive woman. Though he may not want children for a time, he does want a woman who can produce a child if he changes his mind. Using birth control for a social purpose is a sin.

Using the birth control law against production of human beings is a sin that Allah (God) is against and for which he will punish the guilty on the day of Judgment. Both the Bible and Holy Qur-an’s teachings are against birth control.

So you and I, too, should be against it.

The white race is a race that was produced by using birth control law, says God to me.

Do not accept this death plan of the devils to destroy, and keep [us] from being a people.

There is no people on earth (even the little savage Pygmie of Africa and the Malayan Islands of the Pacific love their own) who will let anyone change or destroy their identity and culture without a fight. The American black women are ignorant of the real motive behind the so-called birth control schemes proposed and demanded by white officials.

The motive behind these schemes is not designed to promote the welfare of black families, but to eliminate these families in the future.

Our enemies, the devils, know and now seek to prevent us from being a nation through our women, as Pharaoh attempted to destroy Israel by killing off the male babies of Israel at birth.

The thousand years before Moses, Yakub killed off the black babies at birth to produce this present white race.

Pharaoh was envious of Israel’s future of becoming a great nation, beloved of Allah, which would overcome Egypt and her future as a world power.

The same goes for the so-called Negroes and the slave-masters’ children. The slave-masters envy their once-slaves’ future and want to destroy it.

So the best thing to do is to tell you the truth whether you care for it or not. I will feel, then, that I have done my duty as a member of the same Nation as you.

My love for you and your future is the same as that for myself. The life of this world and its sport and play is only temporary.

You can read this book in its entirety by clicking here.

How to Eat to Live, Book One


Do Not Take Birth Control Pills

It is Allah’s (God’s) love and my love, as His Messenger, to teach you and keep you aware of the tricks the devil devises to trap you into accepting death and not life. As it is written, Allah (God) has come to you to save you from death and destruction by the wicked and to register you in the book of the living (the Black Nation) with unlimited future.

He has declared that we are the true members of the Nation of Islam, the righteous, who shall never be removed from the earth by any foe. He even laughs at plans to destroy the nation of righteous.

The birth control law the enemy is preparing for you, with the aid of their angels, the blind, deaf and dumb black preachers and ignorant black politicians, is not concerned about your future. The white priest knows what these plans will do for you. They know that Christianity has been exposed to the civilized world as nothing less than bait to enslave the black people of earth, the original people who serve the white race as slaves. He offers you death in a pill for your future generations of children.

He tells you what it is going to do to you. But it is like telling a would-be suicide: “Here is the loaded gun. Put it to your silly head, and blow your brains out.” Then he stands aside, throws up his arms and says to the world that he is not responsible for your suicide. This is what you do when you swallow the pills. He knows you are blind, deaf, and dumb.

I know you do not know the plans and secrets of your enemies, but Allah and His Messenger have known for a long time – for this was ascertained when we first learned to read the history of Pharaoh, who sought to destroy the future of Israel through the midwives. We know that this, too, is aimed at you in these last days.

We know by the words of the Holy Qur-an on this attempt to destroy your newborn babies; to destroy the very seed of you. You also are warned against birth control law. They say you are not able to provide for the many children with which Allah (God) is blessing you. They say you should be willing to stop giving birth to children they will have to feed.

Who is responsible? Is it not the slave master’s and his children’s fault that you are not able to care for your family? It is theirs not yours. Why don’t they divide the country with you, give you a few of these United States and let you raise all the children you want so you can provide a proper living for them.

But, no! He would rather you were dead than to see you living free of his authority and power to enslave and murder you at will.

You are aware of this, but yet you are a fool. You do not understand that they are after your life – and you are seeking death by following and agreeing with them to destroy you and your Nation.

The earth belongs to the black nation, and its people will rule it in the near future. God never gave the whites any of the earth. He only gave them time to live on it; time to make fools of you and me. However, that time was limited, and I now can say in truth, that “time is up.”

I will defend the interest and life of my people, even at the destruction of my own life, and the lives of those who follow me – for that is why I have been raised among you. It is a disgrace upon us black people of America to permit ourselves and our future generations to be cut off and destroyed by ignorant, foolish, pleasure-seeking girls and women of our own, who do not know what they are doing when they swallow the birth control pill.

I repeat: If you accept Allah (God) and follow me and if you give birth to 100 children, each of you girls and women is considered more blessed and right in the eyes of Allah (God) than those who try to kill the birth seed.

Because of the advice of those who hate you and hope that you destroy yourselves, the clergy – the priests and elders – is united to help deceive you. The Catholic religion is our greatest enemy today. It seeks to woo you into its net where your future will be hopeless in the Hereafter. This old scheme of attempting to destroy the so-called Negro when the day of his salvation comes to him from God, has long been known by us and Allah (God). The nation of righteous is fully prepared to meet it.

Jehovah thwarted Pharaoh’s wicked plan to prosper through destroying the future of Israel. Pharaoh was afraid of Israel’s population, who was populating Egypt faster than the Egyptians. However, he did not want the Israelites to leave Israel. He decided to kill off the male children, which would have stopped Israel from increasing her nation. The birth control laws employed by the white race were used by his father, Yacub. It is no new thing today. He does not teach you this, nor does he teach you the sciences of modern warfare or chemistry. Of course, we do not care to learn any more about warfare, for it is the purpose of God to erase war from the human family. He now plans to destroy those who delight in making war against humanity.

Who said the white man had to carry us forever? Who gave him the right to cut our birth rate so that he could take care of a small number of us? Who is willing swallow the pill? The 20,000,000 so-called Negroes can be placed in Africa or Asia. The country is so large, they would not know they were there. Or they could be put on an island in the Pacific. But he wants to exterminate all of them with the pills so that he and his people can have free reign of the earth. But he should have reckoned with Allah (God), Who has come for the purpose of saving the poor, black man from their wicked plans.

The Negro has been a group of people, held in the hands of the white man, for 400 years and yet, today, he is like a lazy horse or dog who does not want to leave his master because of fear – and has taken all kinds of abuse in order to get a little food or whatever the master has to give. It is a shame. It is not because of lack of education, but because he holds the offer of Allah (God) in mockery.

But this pill is a bold offer of death, openly made, inviting the Indians and so-called Negroes to accept death – and also the people they have under their power in the Pacific islands. It is accepting extermination through a harmless looking pill designed to take away the future birth of our Nation. Think well, you “white Christian lovers.” You sign up to be swallowed up.

Israel was taken into a country where she could do all of the populating she wanted to without the interference of Pharaoh. Allah (God) had Pharaoh drown in the Red Sea, and the white race is going to be thrown into a lake of fire for its plans against the so-called Negro.

I shall always rise to your defense against such an artful, wicked race of people, who has nothing in mind but death for the black man – its scheme covered with a semi-bait of good. Once you have swallowed the birth control pill, it is death.

He begins teaching on birth control around 34:39


Healthy Eating For The Black Family

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim


As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved Black Sisters!

There are so many areas of study that we need to incorporate into our lives that will not only improve our standing in high, civilized society, but will also improve our personal physical, mental and most importantly, spiritual health.

As I have written, the FIRST thing Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praise is Due Forever, Told us we need to do is:


Your Own God – Allah
Your Own Religion – Islam
Your Own People – The Black People

Yourself – A Righteous Muslim

These two instructions are paramount to becoming a happy, healthy and successful Original Blackwoman.

We cannot be successful as long as we are in the white race’s false religion of Christianity.

The Christian religion cannot teach one how to believe in and obey the True and Living God, Allah.
On the contrary, the Christian religion teaches one to break all the Laws of God.

Following after the Christians had led us to do things that are considered abominations in the eyesight of Allah (God). Many of these things are also morbidly injurious to our health: Smoking, Drinking, Taking Drugs and Eating the Divinely Prohibited flesh of the filthy, stinking hog.

As the Woman of the House – The Homemaker, We are primarily responsible for providing our families with healthy, nutritious meals that will prevent sickness, increase life expectancy and increase our and our family’s beautiful appearance.

The Bible teaches us, and it is supposed to be from Jesus, that when Allah (God) Comes, He Will Give Us MORE LIFE and MORE LIFE ABUNDANTLY. He Will Teach Us How to Expand Our Lives and How To Enjoy Life More.

الحمد لله Al Hamdulillah! All Praise Is Due To Allah! Allah (God) Has Come and He Taught His Messenger, The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (PBUH), That “What We Eat and Drink KEEPS US HERE and what we eat and drink TAKES US AWAY from here.” Therefore, in order to Expand Our Lives and Keep Them Expanded, Allah (God) Had To Regulate Our Eating and Drinking Habits. Allah (God) Had To Teach Us HOW TO EAT TO LIVE.

Along with the Spiritual Truth that Will Set Us Free, Allah (God) Blessed us with the Physical Truth in Order to Preserve the Life of the Spiritual Truth. One can have all the knowledge in the world, but when one dies, her knowledge is of no use to her, so we want to live as long as possible so that we can share the Knowledge we possess with as many people as we can.

It is imperative that you read the above book. You can read it for free online here. However, I would recommend that you purchase your own copy of the book (free of typographical errors) here.

HOW TO EAT TO LIVE is what everyone wants and needs to know. Even a fool wants to know how to lengthen her life. The rulers of this world (the white race) did not teach us how to eat to live because they were made to cut life short and for the past 6,000 years they have done so. The white race are the people the Holy Qur-an describes as eating like a beast. Beasts eat anything and everything and they eat whenever they see their food present. These beasts taught us just contrary to the way of our patriarchs, who lived over 900 years. What and How do you think they ate? The white race has not taught us. But you can learn from the above book.

We have been taught to eat the divinely prohibited flesh of the swine, and also to eat three and four meals a day. Just these two aberrations are sufficient to significantly cut short our lives and fill us with sickness.

The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) taught us in his books (How To Eat To Live, Book 1 and Book 2) that we should be living from 100 to 1000 years! He teaches us that the only way to do this is to cut our eating from three and four meals a day to one meal a day. He said that this is better for our health, beauty, intelligence and duration of life.

Don’t get skeptical, Dear Sister. Just because Our Beloved Messenger (PBUH) did not live this length of time does not mean The Teachings are not Truth. The Bible teaches us that, “In all their afflictions, he was afflicted” (meaning the Messenger of God). Our Beloved Messenger (PBUH) had to suffer everything we suffer, or else Allah would not have chosen him to be the good Messenger. He had to prove that he loved us so well that he was willing to go through with everything we go through with. So, yes, he died prematurely, BUT he taught us everything we need to know so that we can bring The Teachings into fruition.

I bear witness, Dear Sister. I eat one meal a week and I look and feel better than I did when I was 16!

I want to live to be 900 like Noah and Methuselah. So, I am trying to eat the way Our Beloved Messenger (PBUH) taught us they ate. It has taken me over seven years to get to this stage, but it was not difficult. I did it gradually (with some setbacks) but I kept my goal in mind and persevered.

I weighed 206 pounds when I first read How To Eat To Live. After reading the book, I began eating the way The Messenger (PBUH) taught and I lost 70 pounds in three months! People would ask me how I lost the weight and I told them I read How To Eat To Live and began eating one meal a day. I didn’t exercise and I didn’t change my diet. I ate the same foods I had been eating, I just stopped eating three meals a day and ate one meal a day instead, and the weight fell off. All Praise is Due to Allah!

I kept going from there. After about a month, I began eating eating every other day. Then every three days. But I think I got a little ahead of myself because I fell back and started eating all between meals. It took quite a few months but I got back up to one meal every other day again. Then every three days and by Ramadan (December) 2010, I was eating one meal every four days. I got down to 128 pounds.

Ramadan is the month prescribed by Our Beloved Messenger (PBUH) for us to “fast”. It is not really a fast because a fast should be from two to three days without taking food. But we do not eat nor drink from before sunrise until after the sun sets.

We fast in December to get us out of the false teaching of the Jesus’ birth on December 25th. That day, which is celebrated by the Christians, is really the birthdate of that evil demon, Nimrod, who was so wicked that it is sickening to even think about the evil things he did, so I will not include them here.

While the Christians are partying and drinking and dancing and eating swine’s flesh in celebration of a FALSE birthday of Jesus, we Muslims, are fasting.

After Ramadan, I fell off again and started snacking. I went back to one meal a day to try and at least eat the way I was instructed. Sisters, after Ramadan, most all Muslims I know, start snacking. So beware of this when you fast. January 1st is the day when we go crazy and start eating everything. But actually, we should be used to eating one meal a day every day! So Ramadan should not be too much of a departure from the way we usually eat, right? We’re just eating after sunset. This pandemic of mis-eating after Ramadan proves that we are not eating like we should. If we were it would not be a major occurrence to go from one meal a day to one meal a day. But it is. We lose all self-control. It takes great discipline to not cross that line after the month of Ramadan.

I has taken me three and a half years to get to this point (one meal every seven days), but here’s what I did differently this time, to ensure that I never fall off again. I did the same thing I did when I quit smoking in 2007. I set a date. I have not had a cigarette since the Kingdom Day Parade in 2007. That is my “date”. My “date” for eating one meal a week is my birthday this year. It has only been a few weeks but I have never felt this sense of urgency to keep it up. Now, whenever I want to eat between meals, I have a reference point to keep me on track.

My goal is to eat one meal a week with nothing between for the rest of my life. I still drink coffee but
In Sha Allah, by Ramadan I will have stopped that too.

So, that’s my story. I’m doing it. You can do it too. Your example will inspire your family to eat better and really, they won’t have a choice because you do the grocery shopping and prepare the meals. You are the one who determines what’s available. They can only eat what’s there. And by witnessing, first hand, the results of your discipline it will encourage them to do the same, In Sha Allah.



A Return to Proper Roles

Bismillah In the Name of Allah, Master Fard Muhammad


As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved Sisters! Peace Be Upon You

As written in my previous blog, the Blackwoman in America has been reared by her enemies, who taught her to love and follow them.

Following the slavemaster has been the gravest mistake made by the Blackwoman in America, particularly because her enemy slavemaster is wicked and evil by nature, and the Blackwoman is righteous by nature!

This mistake has caused the Blackwoman to act in opposition to her own nature (righteousness). She is therefore unhappy and unsuccessful and is producing children who are incapable of functioning in high civilized society.

The most recent and most devastating mistake the Blackwoman has made in following her enemy slavemaster is: Joining her female slavemaster’s pursuit of equality with men, or so-called, “Women’s Liberation.” This treacherous act occurred at a most critical time in Black History: The Black Power Movement.

It was at this time that Black People had started to organize to try and better their condition in America. And then white women began to mimic the protests made by the Black populace, claiming that they were, all of a sudden, dissatisfied with their traditional role as Homemaker.

Unfortunately, the Blackwoman identified more with the white slavemasters than with her own Black people, abandoning the Black man and the struggle for Black Power in favor of the so-called “Women’s Liberation Movement”. As a result of this shameful betrayal, many detrimental but reversible problems enveloped the Black Community.

We, Blackwomen, can solve all of these problems, by humbly admitting that we made a terrible mistake. And then and only then can we take the proper steps to correct that mistake.


The First Step is to ACCEPT OUR OWN AND BE OURSELVES and Return to our Natural Role as Homemakers.

When we joined the devil-woman in her pursuit of “liberation,” we abandoned our homes and families, leaving them without a caretaker, all in order to compete with our own Black men, at a time when they needed our support more than ever, just so that we could become the bread-winner. So, not only did we abandon the Blackman in the Struggle for Black Power, we also began to work against him, all to the delight of our common enemy. Consecutively, we abandoned and emasculated our Strong Black Men and neglected our own children.

Sadly, most Blackwomen still erroneously feel as though they can and should provide for themselves. As though they should have careers and make their own money. They think they should not depend on the Blackman to provide their needs. Many Blackwomen go so far as to say, “I don’t need a man! I’m an independent woman!”

This type of thinking has caused the destruction of the Black Family. Women were made to be dependent on men. And men were made to supply the things women depend on. We must stop trying to be the equals of men. We are NOT men. We should not be competing with men; trying to have careers like men, going half on rent and bills and whatnot. This makes our poor Blackmen feel inadequate, unwanted and unnecessary. Any man who doesn’t feel less of a man if, and actually wants his wife to go out and work, has the mind of a slave. He has not yet learned The Knowledge of Himself, which dictates that he should not depend on anyone but himself.

Nature made the man the provider. In order to feel like a man, he must be the provider and protector of his family. The man is the Head of the Household. This is the way nature intended. Allah Created The Blackman to Be The Leader. He is stronger physically because of his roles as Builder and Protector, and he is stronger mentally because of his Natural Role as Leader.

We, Blackwomen, have to accept that actual fact and stop competing with men. We will never be successful if we are always trying to take over the man’s role and responsibilities. We have followed the white woman to our detriment. Nature has made the woman dependent on the man. Any woman who feels as though she does not need a man, is lying to herself.


Allah Created the Blackwoman to be a helpmate for the Blackman. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) taught us that, “A Woman is the Only Heaven a Man Has.”  Our men need us, Sisters! We have failed them.

Our responsibility is to console our Blackmen. They are living in Hell, where they are outcast and stepped upon, all while trying to provide a decent life for us! And here we are, out there in it with them.

We should be at home, making Heaven for our families, so when our husband comes home, dinner is on the table in an immaculate home filled with peace and happiness where he can rest and recoup for whenever he has to go back out into this devil’s world. Instead, we are out TRYING TO MAKE OUR OWN MONEY, when we should be making our Blackman feel needed, by depending on him to give us money, instead of trying to prove that we DON’T need him and unnecessarily suffering the same rejection and hardships as he.

Again, Allah created us to be a helpmate. We can offer the most help to the Blackman by being feminine, beautiful Creatures, Created by Allah to give Heaven, Joy and Happiness to the Blackman. We should revel in this most essential role and try to be the BEST at it. This is our nature.

Many women are single mothers. These women should still cultivate and perfect proper homemaking skills, so when her husband comes along, she will be qualified to fulfill her Natural Role as Homemaker.

I was a single mother for 12 years and did not work any length of that time. I homeschooled my son and stayed home with him as a mother is supposed to. Single women should utilize government assistance, lower their expenses and dedicate their time and attention to the well-being of their children. Your child(ren) will greatly appreciate your love and attention and the bonds formed between you and your child(ren) will last a lifetime. You can hone your homemaking skills in preparation for your husband when Allah Blesses you with one.

Once we accept our Natural and Proper Role as Homemakers, we can live a heavenly, balanced, harmonious life, as one with our provider/leader/husband and build happy, peaceful and productive families. There will never be peace in a house wherein the man and woman are not living according to their own natural roles.

When I was in my twenties, I went roller skating with a Brother and I was racing him and he could barely even skate. It really opened my eyes when an older Sister approached him and helped him skate.

At the time, I was angry, but not really. I felt more enlightened than anything. I know it changed the way I looked at my role because I never forgot it. I don’t think she was trying to take him from me because she made sure I saw her. If you’re reading this Sister, THANK-YOU. That was love.

I must add, when it comes to roles, we must also draw the line in physical appearance too. This wicked society has gotten so far from the Love and Worship of Allah that they can turn a man into a woman and a woman into a man.

It started with men growing their hair long like women. The older generation objected to this but apparently not strongly enough. Probably because they couldn’t put their finger on precisely WHY it was wrong.

Next came the earring. This was also controversial, but the novelty overrided the objections and over time, men started acting more feminine in line with the newly acquired feminine physical characteristics.

This, coupled with the addition of homosexuality teachings in schools and the advent of “homophobia” in society has made today’s generation okay with homosexuality and transsexuals.

The only way to correct this trend is to draw a sharp line between the physical appearance of the sexes as there was in the beginning.

Women wear long hair and earrings.
Men cut their hair.

Women wear dresses and skirts.
Men wear pants.

This is the way you tell the sexes apart.

Yes, Dear Brothers and Sisters, my Grandmother never wore a pair of pants in her life. We have to be this extreme in our gender roles to reform from this wicked tendency of homosexuality and return to our nature.

There is nothing grosser than seeing a woman from a distance and getting closer and discovering she’s really a man!!!


The Asiatic Blackwoman in America

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

In The Most Holy and Righteous Name of Allah, Master Fard Muhammad,

The Beneficent, The Most Merciful





As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic* Black Sisters,

I pray Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, these words find you in the Best of Health and Enjoying Inexplicable Joy and Happiness. I am Happy to Write that I am Blessed to be Experiencing the Same. I Thank Allah!

Dear Sisters, I am humbled and honored and immensely thankful to Allah, that you have taken the time to view my blog. In Sha Allah (If it is the Will of Allah), you will find it useful and informative and give you some insight into that which has been held back from you for 400 years. During this unfortunate time, your one and only teacher has been your open enemy – your former slavemaster – who forcibly captured your foreparents from their homes and people in Asia and Africa and brought them to this country to be their slaves and concubines, where they were free to practice every evil imaginable upon our poor mothers and grandmothers and who continue to practice even worse evils and cruelty upon us today.

But Al Hamdulillah! (All Praise is due to Allah!), The Truth Shall Make You Free.

The JESUS taught us that the Truth shall make us free, but failed to teach us WHAT Truth it is that will make us free! The Truth that shall make us free is The Divine Supreme Wisdom Teachings of The Last and Greatest Messenger of Allah, who was raised up from among us to teach us the KNOWLEDGE, WISDOM AND UNDERSTANDING that will place us on Top of Civilization. That truth can be found in the premier book of Knowledge of Self for the Black Nation in the Wilderness of North America – Message to the Blackman written by The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) . You can read it for free by clicking this link.


Our former slavemasters inflicted every cruelty imaginable upon our poor ancestors and continue to treat us just as bad! We must recognize them as our enemies and then and only then can we move forward.

My Sisters, if you are having trouble accepting your former slavemaster as your enemy, it is probably because he taught you the organized religion of Christianity, which falsely teaches: “Love your enemy.”

Dear Sisters, this is an addition to the Bible that the slavemaster added, to make his slaves harmless! This way, they would not fight back against the terror inflicted upon them, by whom? Their enemy – The Slavemasters!

All while the slavemasters were beating and killing, murdering and raping us, at the same time they were teaching us that God wanted us to love them, while they were doing this evil to us! Who can love her enemy? It is against the very nature of men and even beasts to love their enemy. God doesn’t even love his enemy! (Malachi 1:2,3 Romans 9:13). It is a sin and a shame that we were made so humble and meek toward the very people whom God hates.

It has been around 100 years since the slavemaster began to allow his slaves to read the poison Bible, and his brainwashed Black Preachers thoroughly instilled in the slaves the false doctrine to love their enemies. This lie has been handed down from generation to generation and many of us will put our lives on it! Beloved Sister, unless you stop loving your former slavemasters and recognize them as your enemy, you will never be free.

You may say, “Those white people are dead. We must move on and forgive.”

Dear Sisters, here is where Knowledge of Self, God and the Devil becomes so imperative towards just that…. Moving on….

Only a thorough Knowledge of Self, God and the Devil allows one to successfully advance. The Blackwoman cannot move forward unless she knows her history. We MUST know History in order to Build a Prosperous Future of Unlimited Progress for our Nation.

And I’m not talking about American History nor even World History that has been taught to us in school.

We Must Know History as taught to us by the Originator of the Universe – Allah in Person, Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praise is Due Forever.

We cannot look to the slavemaster or his kind to teach us History. The Blackman is the Original Man. The Blackman is the only man who was created by The Creator.  Prior to 6,000 years ago, every one on Earth was Black. Every other race was made from that Aboriginal Black Nation. The whiteman did not come with the creation! The whiteman was made from the Blackman.

Therefore, we cannot look to the white race to teach us a thorough Knowledge of History. A baby (the white race) cannot tell the story of his birth nor what took place before his birth. Once we have a thorough Knowledge of history, we will be better informed concerning the future and can consequently, live a better present.

Beloved Sisters, your condition in the Hells of North America is worse than any other people in the history of the Planet! Our wretched condition has been brought about by slavery, suffering and finally death.

We are in a condition that no one has been able to remedy for as long as we have been in the Western Hemisphere. Many have tried, but no one will ever be successful without Divine Intervention. Our unique situation requires the attention, sympathy, mercy, and forgiveness from such a Great One as God in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praise is Due Forever.

This Blog, In Sha Allah, will point you in the right direction towards Salvation, Redemption and Heaven on Earth which can only come through the Divine Supreme Wisdom Teachings of Our Beloved Messenger, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him).

Are you prepared to accept the Divine Solution, Dear Sister? The ONLY Solution to the horrific problems facing the Blackwoman of America? In Sha Allah, through this Blog, Our Saviour and Redeemer, Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praise is Due Forever, Will Open your Eyes, Ears, and Heart to the Knowledge, Wisdom and Understanding of The Divine Supreme Wisdom Truth brought to you through His Divine Messenger, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him).

* “ASIATIC” refers to the entire Planet Earth.


(*Sisters, please do not confuse The Divine Supreme Wisdom Teachings of The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad [Peace Be Upon Him] with those of Louis Farrakhan, who should be shunned. Farrakhan and his followers are NOT the Nation of Islam. I repeat, LOUIS FARRAKHAN AND HIS FOLLOWERS ARE NOT THE NATION OF ISLAM.)

24 Little Hours

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved And Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

I had a wonderful day yesterday and I pray you all had just as wonderful a day as I did. It started out wonderful and ended even more wonderful!

You know how I missed the Sunrise, right? Well after I left “The Club” (I call it the “Club” now instead of the Center because I overheard the receptionist on the phone talking to potential new members and she was telling them that we aren’t accepting any new members until next month. Which made me feel like I was part of an exclusive club that only a certain privileged few were allowed to enter. 

Nevermind that they don’t really help you find housing and after they get you on their list [which I know they give over to donors], you’re pretty much on your own. But, I am extremely grateful for all of the resources available to me. And consider myself very lucky to have a place like this to spend my time. Allahu Akbar!)

… I went straight to the beach. I went down the Promenade just to see what was cracking. I like to ride up the Promenade and ride down the beach. I stopped at this spot where the founder of Santa Monica used to sit every day and watch the Sunset.

I think it is the nicest point of view to see the Sunset and yesterday was exceptionally beautiful. There is a monument to him where you can sit without being observed by all the passers-by. I had passed by the spot scores of times before I ever noticed it.

I took so many pictures yesterday because I thought it couldn’t get any better but it stayed and kept getting more beautiful until the sky was gray and the color from the Sun was completely gone from the sky.

It lasted much longer than the actual Sunset.

It was so beautiful that I didn’t mind all of the people who came and crowded my spot to witness the wonder of Allah’s Creation.

I have an uncanny talent for finding “the spot.” I find a spot that no one is paying attention to and within five minutes it’s swarming with people. Depending on my mood, I may get annoyed and go find another spot, or I may just take it all in stride and offer to take pictures of people so they can all be in the photo. 😉

I made a video too. It’s uploading onto YouTube. I’ve decided to go back to an old way I had of uploading videos since I don’t have my laptop anymore. It just takes forever. So whenever it’s finished, I’ll try to catch up and add the many videos I’ve taken to enhance your reading, In sha Allah.

OMG! Why when I was on the Promenade I decided to look into Champs for “old times sake?” There used to be a “Champs” in the Beverly Center when me and Beaux used to work there and I seem to recall buying all of our kicks from there.

Anyway, there is a store right next door to Champs that I’ve always admired the outfits in the display window but never went inside. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to because the outfits are rather revealing.

So, I went into Champs first and they have the best selection of cute tennis shoes than any other the other athletic gear stores I’ve been in (Adidas, Converse and Foot Locker). I haven’t been in the Nike store or Foot Action yet. But Champs is cool because you can get any brand there and their selection of cute shoes was the best.

But I had never seen a $200.00 pair of tennis shoes before. I have expensive tastes and the shoe I picked up was $200.00. It was the same style I had seen at the Adidas store but I wasn’t looking at prices back then. At Champs, you can’t miss the price tag. It’s right there, like BAM! LOL

So, after I left Champs, I was drawn into the store next door. I kind of don’t want to tell you the name because the clothes in that store were so slutty. But I LOVED it! LOL

I mean, when you’re married, why you can’t dress like a slut at home for your Zawji’s eyes only? For real though?

Those clothes were so cute! But every time I pulled an outfit out to get a better look, it was always slit on the side, or the midriff was missing or something equally as slutty. I was embarrassed every time! LOL But I couldn’t stop looking. SMH

I couldn’t believe somebody actually designed and made those clothes to be sold and for someone to BUY!!!

It wasn’t long before I found the cutest outfit in the entire store, but I didn’t have anything else to do so I kept looking.

I made a joke with the salesgirl after finding a green and white short in the front, long in the back dress that she was returning to the stock. I said, you can buy it and wear to church on Easter. LOL

You know those women in churches dress like thots. Not so at the Temple of Islam. We will give you something to cover up with. You won’t be sitting in front of our Minister trying to tempt him and disgracing the True House of Allah (God).

Then some sequins caught my eye. And I like sequins so I pulled it out and why was it a purple, gold and green dress. I immediately thought Mardi Gras and had to take a picture.

I did even better and went Live on Facebook. Let me see if I can post the video or a link. BRB

Gotta click “Watch on Facebook” if you want to see the dress.

So, after I had looked at all the slutty clothes, I went back to the best outfit in the whole store (it reminded me of Forever 21 but sluttier LOL) and I thought, “You’re not going to buy it, but why not try it on??? Hee hee hee”

So, I’ve learned that alot of times, clothes can look cute on the hanger but it’s a totally different story when you actually put it on, and vice versa.

There used to be this company of male designers in Leimert and one time I was at their headquarters and this Brother showed me this dress. It looked like a big denim sock with the foot cut out. LOL And I was like, Ewww, this thing is ugly. But he convinced me to put it on and it looked so good. It was stretch denim and hugged every little curve I had back then. LOL I didn’t show him but it just illustrated to me that you have to try every thing on before you buy it because it might not look right once you get it on, and vice versa.

So, this outfit was so cute. It was a black, low v-neck, spaghetti-strapped leotard that was overlaid with heavy lace. The lace continued where the leotard ended and it was like a see-through ankle-length black lace dress.

So, yesterday after I finished the blog, I sent Beaux a song.

Because remember he had sent me that text saying he had no idea who I was?

I wasn’t ready to tell him yet so I sent the song and even I was kind of annoyed that all she says is, “Me” or something but doesn’t say who “me” is. Sorry Beaux, but I wasn’t ready yet.

So, when I tried on the outfit, I made a video and decided that was how I was going to let him know it was me, right? Wrong. When I tried to send it later on that night, my Obamaphone wouldn’t let me attach the video. 😦 I even trimmed it until it was half as long (about 14 seconds). I tried to take a screenshot, a little. Not really. I mean, I might still try and do something with it, but my battery was dying so maybe later today, In sha Allah. Maybe if I edit it down to ten seconds…

So, why when I went into the dressing room, they were all empty, but when I came out there was a line? I told you I always find the hot spot. Hell, I think I am the Hot Spot!

Then, I give my outfit to the saleslady and go to leave the store. When I look at the place on the wall where the outfit was, why were there none left? And there had been about four or five of them!

I wish I could post the video (kind of, but not really LOL) so you can see how cute it is, but I’m in it. LOL Sorry

So, then I went to see the Sunset.

After the Sunset, I was in a oh wait, let me see if it finished uploading BRB

I might post the pictures too.

So, then I found out I had more food stamps than I thought. Oh, tell me why is the picture on the California EBT card, the place in Malibu where I almost drowned? Actually, it’s the place I was trying to get to when I almost drowned. :/

But that just goes to show how beautiful it is. I would post a picture but this computer won’t let me. Maybe later on my phone, In sha Allah.

Just click here.

I know it’s the same place because, if you look closely, you can see the Paradise Cove pier.

So, to celebrate the food stamp “surplus” I decided to go get some ice cream. And I really like Ralph’s better than Vons now, because Ralph’s says “Thank you, loyal customer” or something like that, and that makes me feel appreciated. So even though Vons is closer, I rode all the way back to the Club to go to Ralph’s, which is right down the street and who makes me feel like they appreciate my patronage.

There is also this park I found out about and wanted to find, just because I’m homeless and parks are one of the few places (public) homeless people can go without being hairy-assed. LOL

They are having a Jazz Summer Concert Series next month and I wanted to go until I saw out of all the four acts, there is only one BLACK person! In a JAZZ Concert Series! That is disturbing. So, I probably won’t go even though one of the groups specializes in New Orleans jazz. I know it’s just going to piss me off.

So, I got some ice cream and tried to find the park. I couldn’t find it but I did find the Santa Monica Arts Center, where there are all these fine art galleries. They look so expensive. They have auctions. Rich people live in Santa Monica, I’m discovering.

So, since I couldn’t find the new park, I went to an old park I really like that has a Library, and it’s so crazy because it’s only about a block away from Santa Monica College (where “The Parkers” and everybody else who lives in L.A. went to college LOL) but I never knew there was a public library right there.

Anyway, I got to listen to basketballs, which is one of my favorite sounds. I love the way basketballs sound when they bounce. I especially love the sound of the “swoosh” when it’s nothing but net. This court was outdoors, but the sound of tennis shoes as they squeak on the court makes me feel some kinda way.

I read Miles’ autobiography and he liked the sound of basketball games too. He mentioned how quiet it would get in the gym when the ball traveled from the shooter’s hand to the time it made or missed the basket.

The sound of the rim when the basketball hits it (brick) is like scratching a chalkboard to me almost.

I should have stayed at that park. I had a premonition that it was time to find a new spot. When you’re homeless, you have to keep it moving. But I had grown accustomed to my spot, so back I went.

I still felt like riding around, and took the long way “home.”

I went down Pico towards the beach but had to turn off when I neared a place that held bad memories for me.

I turned down 14th Street and why did I come across a cemetery!?!? For some reason, Allah likes me to visit cemeteries, so when I saw the gate was wide open, after visiting New Orleans, where they lock the cemeteries so they can charge you for tours, I had to go in.

It was pitch black and so creepy and scary! I LOVED it! There were tall trees lining the path and they overshadowed it making it even darker and scarier. But I had to.

I rode slowly through the cemetery. I don’t know what time it was, maybe about nine thirty. And all I kept thinking was,  “I’m surrounded by dead bodies.” That was a weird feeling. But I kept going. It was so quiet and peaceful, I thought about spending the night there, but it was too dark and I didn’t feel safe. I thought I saw somebody who had already decided to sleep there, but I think it was just a sleeping bag or some other bulky something or another. I didn’t stop to inspect.

So, I rode through and came out a little further down. It was so weird because I had been over there before on the back street. It was directly across the street from Santa Monica College but the entrance was on a side street. So going down the main streets on the side, you would never know there was a cemetery right there.

I thought it was a golf course when I had seen it before.

So, I’m still riding and I come across a park. And you know I love parks. So, I decided to ride through. I had been on the other side when I was feeling particularly bad about being homeless and don’t really have good memories about that side.

But this side had a gym and so I had to look inside and see all the Brothers.

It was tiny and there was only one Brother.


But I rode farther into the park and discovered a “skate park”/”bike park”

I had never seen anything like what I saw before.

There was a deep pit that looked too deep to even climb out of but there it was.

So there were bikers all around and I love watching sports. I can’t help it. I know Sport And Play Keep One’s Mind off of Allah, so I try to stave off the attraction.

But they were right there. I do the same thing with skaters. I love the sound of skateboards almost as much as basketballs. And I like to sportscast, like we’re on T.V. It’s so fun. But I know girls aren’t supposed to do that kind of stuff.

So, I got out my camera and as soon as I got it going, he got out of the pit. :/

So, I rode around the park just a little bit more, then I pushed to the spot.

Why were there these devil teenagers RIGHT next to my bench, acting devilish?

I moved to another bench.

And got comfortable and eventually fell asleep.

Why did later, I feel someone tapping me? I thought it was the police, so I was like, “WHAT!?!”

It was some devil asking me if I needed any money, a dollar or something.

That’s the thing about being so conspicuous. Even though I was completely wrapped in my blankets from head to toe, (why did I pick up some white jail blankets at the Club? LOL) I know he recognized Lu. I’m kind of cute and I know a lot of these men would like to have me.

But I’m Beaux’s, so I was like, “All I need is for you to leave me alone!

He would not leave, so I was like, “Just put the dollar in the basket on my bike!”

I heard him reach in and then get on a skateboard and leave.

After a while, I looked in my basket, but there was no dollar. Devils.

But, as if that was predicting what was going to happen later, at about 4:40 a.m., somebody else is tapping me on my shoulder. This time it really was the po-pos. I knew I should have stayed at the other park. :/

But I just went to the pier and looked at what a difference a day had made in the beach. Whereas, last night was beautiful, colorful and sunny, this morning was gray and drab.

But it was still beautiful! All Praise is due to Allah!




You Can See Forever….

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم






As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beautiful and Beloved Asiatic Black Bebies!

How was your A.J. Day WEEKEND?!!?!?!?!?

A.J. Day was Saturday, but I was niggardly and didn’t buy the Lindt chocolate I was supposed to have to celebrate with on Saturday, so I extended it to include Sunday too and just had the first A.J. Day Weekend!!! Al Hamdulillah!!! I hope you had as good a time as I had! Allahu Akbar!

In college, I studied Journalism and as opposed to storytelling where you build up to the apex of a story, in Journalism, you are supposed to hit straight for the most important part of the story first, so I’m going to begin with the most important part of A.J. Day Weekend for me.

Last night, I had a good time on the Promenade. I noticed something that had escaped me before. Remember I told you about Sheharazad and the other Arabian singer? Well, two more Arabian acts were there this weekend. A female and a live guitarist and drummer band.

They have by far the best and most popular entertainment on the whole Promenade and I told you over seventy-five per cent of the patrons are Middle Eastern. So you know I just love it there.

BUT what I noticed last night is that the Muslim women who are dressed like me (covered) know the songs, tip the performers and videotape the performances, but they NEVER dance.

The women who dance know the songs and do all the above, BUT they look like Americans. They don’t cover. They usually have on shorts and tank tops and look just like all other American women.

This struck me as kind of disappointing because I love to dance and I know how to dance like the women who dance, but I can’t because I am representing Islam and although I pick up on some Islamic terms in the music, I don’t think it is representing Allah and Islam in an entirely positive way.

Here is what I think.

The Muslim women know how to dance like the other women but we only do it in private.

I was reading a book I picked up for free at a giveaway at the Library. It was a book I had heard of but had never read. I stopped reading it after I was reminded why I try to steer clear of anything produced by devils.

But anyway, the book talked about two kinds of women: prostitutes and decent women.

That’s about all there is. Either you are one or the other.

The decent women cover and don’t dance in public.

The prostitutes come out half-dressed (or covered) and don’t carry themselves in a modest fashion, i.e. dancing in public.

I understand why it is best not to cross the line because one of the women who was dancing, did it in an acceptable manner (imo) but there was another woman who just looked slutty.

Another thing I observed is that the older women danced better.

I think it is because of experience.

But another thing that held the younger women back is that they are Americanized. I felt sorry for them because you could see they felt the pull of the culture but it just wasn’t in them like it was in the older women. When they tried to do the dances, it didn’t look as natural as it did for the older women.

So, I left the Promenade earlier than usual, and went to see what was cracking on the Pier.

I’m so thankful for Lulu. She makes getting around so much EASIER and more convenient. If I didn’t have her, I probably would have just pushed to the spot.

The Pier was cool. But at night, I like the Promenade better. The people are more refined on The Promenade because there are nothing but shops so you have to have some ends.

The Pier is more for children, with Pacific Park and whatnot.

The Pier at night is more beautiful than in the daytime, however.  And I like to “read” the lights on the ferris wheel. They’re different every night.

The Promenade is better for the performers. The patrons are more apt to tip since the Promenade is designed for spending money. At least, that’s been my observation.

The musical artists on the Pier seem to be there more for atmospheric background music accompanying all that water.

It’s interesting but The Pier seems to have it’s own type of music. It’s like world music and “meditation” type music. The musicians play foreign instruments like sitars and whatnot.

Sometimes it creeps me out because it is eerily close to Buddhism or at least it feels like it to me. But Islam is first and everything good in any religion originated with Islam – like Tai Chi and meditation, so I’m sure that that type of music is in there too.

So, I had a good time on the Pier and then decided to push to the spot.

I got there but didn’t feel like sleeping. So whenever I don’t feel like sleeping, I don’t sleep. I don’t care what time it is nor how long I’ve been awake. If I’m not sleepy, that means I don’t need to sleep.

I’m not taking sleeping pills just because I’m not sleepy and everybody else thinks I’m supposed to sleep.

If I’m not sleepy that means, I’m supposed to be doing something else.

A lot of people who suffer from “mental illness” don’t sleep at the designated times.

It has something to do with melatonin.

One of the first things the psychiatrist asks is “Are you sleeping okay?”

I know many people who stay awake for three to five days at a time.

If the doctors really wanted to help, they would see the connection between this length of time and the typically prescribed “72-hour hold” which is generally how long an episode lasts.

But Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Does Not Sleep At All. And we are Gods and Goddesses, so we should not think it is unusual for us to not sleep as well.

The dominant society just wants to slow us down and nothing except death is slower than sleep.

So, as we say in the Hip-Hop Community “Don’t SleepLITERALLY.

So, I was also feeling a deep longing for Beaux. (That’s my new name for Zawji. 😀 I’ve always liked that name for a big strong handsome man. Bo’s are always big, strong and handsome except for Bo Buchanon who used to be on “One Life To Live” (IMO) but he was one of the stars of the show.

I’ve like that name since “Bonanza.” LOL I’m sorry but I’m from the Wild Wild West and I can’t help it but I like cowboys. I used to like the theme song from that show. Let me see if I can find it. I liked “Little Jo” too. He died in the same hospital as I was giving birth to my firstborn. 😦 R.I.P. “Pa” Even though he was a devil.) Hoss was cool but ugly. I guess he was the DUFF.





Then one time I was coming home from New Orleans and I met this guy named Bo from Atlanta. He was big, strong and handsome. Man, I love that name. But I like to spell it Beaux, like they would in New Orleans. Or Beau, like they would in Paris.)

So anyway, I was really missing Beaux last night. And I haven’t really thought about him in that way and haven’t written too much about him either. So, even though when I was in jail, I had resigned myself to fall back, I decided to send him a text.

I didn’t really know what to say. It was like 11:30 and I debated whether to send it at all, since it was so late. But you know I’m crazy, right? So that’s never stopped me before. I just debated what to send and decided to just be honest and wrote, “Just thinking about you…

Now, sometimes I get messages from other dimensions and I got one that told me he got my text. And I was happy so I sent an emoji blowing a kiss.

Then why did I get a text from him???!!!!!

I was like OMG!!! This is major! Although I didn’t really trip. I think I’m cool after all this time. I’ve been texting and e-mailing him for over three years and in all that time only got one response. (Which I don’t even think was from him. I had just gotten him fired from his job and he let Malik cuss me out LOL)

So when I got the text, I think I may have been in shock.

I wasn’t sure how I felt.

Usually I ask Allah.

But I didn’t think to ask last night.

Allah Told Me Don’t Say Anything.

So I didn’t.

Fake world A.J. replied and I want to hear from Beaux.

So, I let the music respond for him.




I felt so good.

Then this came on. But the Internet Gods were in an uproar because of his text and I didn’t hear it until this morning. Same message. Just delayed.


I went to sleep.

Allah Told Me Don’t Respond So I Didn’t Want To Make Being Obedient Difficult.

I saw a little ladybug crawling on the park bench I was going to go to sleep on. And I just played with him/her and thought about what had just happened.

I didn’t tell you what he wrote.

I guess I’ll put it for my and posterity’s sake. So when I’m rereading this in one, two, ten, twenty or a hundred years I won’t have to try and do the impossible and remember what he wrote. Although…. 😉

Anyway, He wrote, “I have no idea who this is.

This pleases you haters. But I know that which you do not know.

I thought about things I could reply but Allah Is The Best Knower. And I submit to His Infinitely Wise Will.

Beaux knows exactly who I am. But he is not who sent that text. A.J. sent that b.s.. But Allah Is All-Knowing and All-Wise so I Hear and Obey.

I think I know what I’m going to reply, but that’s if my phone and the Internet Gods allow me to. LOL

I’ll let you know how it goes, In Sha Allah.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Ordinarily, I would just leave the blog as it is but sometimes, a lot of times, I do things that no one but I understand, and then when I go back and read it later, I exercise my brain by trying to remember what I meant when I wrote what I wrote.

But, I don’t want to do that with this one.

So, I’m going to explain.

When I woke up this morning on the park bench in the park, and opened my eyes, I was met with the most beautiful sight in the world – a clear blue sky and sunshine.

That feeling has been with me all day.

I wasn’t even disappointed that I missed the Sunrise. Sometimes the Sunrise is not even that beautiful. But when I woke up this morning!

The first thing that popped into my head was the video I posted at the top. I know they’re devils but I grew up in America…

Anyway, when I went to type the blog, “On A Clear Day” was what Allah (swt) Seemed to Want me to post. But I had posted that before I think. At least, I know I posted it on Facebook.

So, at first I had both. Then I deleted the Clear Day.

But kept the title.

So to help you, who may not be as into music as I am, understand the relationship between the title of the blog and the opening video, as well as what a beautiful day I’m having (and hope you are too 🙂 ) I’m going to post “On A Clear Day As Well.” Enjoy.

I like this one better though 😉

Oh my God. One time I was at the World Stage and I was going to sing this and the trio started off so good (swinging!) and I got through the first 32 bars LOVING IT!!! Then someone came and said they had to close early. SMH. Only me….

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I was going to write about the Farmer’s Market in Samo this weekend, but there isn’t really too much to say except it was dope, better than dtla and I got some bomb food.

I have video of this singer I want to post later, In Sha Allah.

She was French and her guitar was dope.

But I really want to fill you in on what happened after I got out of jail.

I wasn’t going to say anything but when I wrote about what happened to my laptop, I think there might be some confusion. So, I want to relate what happened.

I got out of jail, didn’t have any money, or else I was going to buy new everything.

But since I didn’t have any money, I HAD to go back to the house to get the stuff I left (my computer and sleeping bag).

So, I go back to this quiet little neighborhood in the Malibu Hills and I kind of had a feeling I might run into the man who ran me out of the house.

I had on the same thing and I was on foot.

Sure enough, I see the car he was driving and he was following me.

I turned around and started walking towards his car. He keeps driving and passes me up.

So, I turn back around now that he’s gone and continue walking towards the house.

To make a long story short (it’s almost Suppertime 😉 )

I went to the house and he was out there with some more evil hateful devils and started recording me on his phone.

I asked “Where is that white girl?

One of the other devils mockingly said, “WHAT white girl?

So, then I was like whatever and started walking away.

The devil who ran me out the first time was still recording but get this. He starts reciting John 3:16.

I was like, “For real?” SMH

But I keep walking.

Then he repeats it. And I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said loudly, “THAT’S A LIE!”

A. God does not have a son
B. He is all-powerful and doesn’t have to kill anybody just to forgive your sins.

So anyway, I went around the corner, called the Sheriffs, and they came and got my stuff.

I just thought it was interesting that that devil would start quoting the Bible.

If you don’t think we are living in The Holy Spiritual War of ARMAGEDDON, you’ve got another “think” coming.


On Being Self-Sufficient

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Black Sisters and Brothers

As of 1:12 p.m. today, July 21, 2017, I have officially cut off every tie in my life except for Zawji.

Women are not supposed to be self-sufficient. Otherwise, I would have cut him off too.

We are the weaker sex and were made just for the purpose of helping out the Blackman.

They can be self-sufficient without us, like Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praises are due forever.

Say, He Allah is One. Allah is Self-Sufficient. He does not beget nor is He begotten. And there is none like unto Him.

That’s Surah Al Ikhlas. My translation. The Blackman can be Self-Sufficient. But it’s better if He has a wife to help Him.

The Blackwoman, on the other hand, was made to be dependent.

So, even though I can take care of myself, I still need guidance (help in making decisions).

Allah Created the Blackman with more powerful brains than us (Blackwomen) so we would be wise to find one who can lead and guide us and submit to his authority.

I’m Lucky because I know who my Zawji is. And even though we are not physically together, I still seek His Divine Guidance. Al Hamdulillah!

I took a picture yesterday that is a visual display of how I felt inside yesterday and still feel to some extent today.

I described it on Facebook as “melancolico” or however you spell it. I like it better in Portuguese.

I’ll post it later, In sha Allah.

Yesterday, I really wished I had a home to go to.

It’s fun being out and about but I have a dis-ease that is causing me some dis-comfort and when you’re sick, homeless is the last thing you want to be. There is no place for you to nurse your sickness. I just wanted to be alone and lay down and feel sorry for myself. LOL

But I have spiritual enemies that are very close to me and when you’re sick that’s when they think they can succeed against you.

It happened to Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) so, I am not above anything that happened to him.

I got kicked out of my little spot and although I could have gone back, I felt defeated and didn’t want to put myself in the same situation again.

So, I just slept outside in the park.

I can’t get a good night’s sleep out in the public like that because I can’t completely relax.

Then this morning the joggers woke me up at 5:30. SMH Morning people can be so annoying. LOL

I went and sat by the ocean and got to write and color and it was really peaceful. I debated whether or not I should go to the center. And I kind of regret that I didn’t stay there longer. But sometimes, we develop habits that can be difficult to break out of.

I wanted some coffee. Not that I’m addicted to coffee. It’s just that I’m addicted to having a warm drink in the mornings sometimes.

It makes me feel good.

It can be warm water.

I guess it’s a comfort food.

So, I left my cool spot. I regret it now, because they are so difficult to find. I’m in one now, Al Hamdulillah!

I think when I find these places and times, I’m going to stay until ZAWJI tells me to move. Not when I plan to.

Anyway, I was going to take the train to the HRC but the transit cops appeared out of nowhere.

I figured out why Lulu’s been so difficult to ride though. She just needed some air in her tires.

So, I got some and then pushed to the Center.

All of the HRCs are run by Christians and I do not trust them. They are borderline p-words.

I am so averse to the whole concept that I don’t even like to say the word.

Let me think of a way to tell you without actually saying it.

You know another word for a television show? Or a synonym for agenda?

That starts with a “P

I am so against the whole concept because it’s basic training for the Christian army. It’s deceptive and evil and I cannot even put it into words.

I feel better now.

I’m just going to have to learn how to get by without the support and protection of my son.

He knew one day I was going to cut him off and I think that’s why it’s taken me so long.

But I cannot support him playing sports.

I had a friend who reminded me that Our Holy Qur’an Sharrieff says “This world’s life is naught but sport and play.

Of course, I knew that. But I’ve always been into sports. My mother named me “Anet” pronounced “A Net” and I love basketball.

I did good for about eight years after I accepted my own (Islam) and did not watch nor discuss basketball at all.

Then I met a Brother “in the Nation” on Facebook and he got me interested again. It’s been difficult to turn it off since then. Hakim was about eight or nine then and although we didn’t watch it, we kept up with the scores and the Lakers won the championship that year and everybody was out in the streets partying and we went out there for a minute.

Now, he’s living with my infidel family and they’ve got him interested in things that we both know are haram.

I was hoping he was old enough and well-versed into the Teachings enough to withstand temptation.

But I had put him out before ever I had an episode.

I guess because Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises are due forever, Told Me I Was Doing A Good Job with him, it has been difficult for me to admit that he is completely off the path.

It started with his hair. I let that slide and although it’s not how I would like for him to wear it, it is not against guidelines.

Then he started wearing shorts and short-sleeved shirts that I never allowed. Shorts on a man is gay but I let it slide because he cycles. The youth know how to manipulate their parents to get their way but I never agreed with it. That was the first straw.

Then he didn’t want to get in the band at school. Muslims are known for having musical talent – like Angels.

And although, I am still up in the air about whether or not music is the “play” when Our Holy Qur’an states “This world’s life is naught but sport and play,” I really wanted him to play in the band.

Many times musicians are referred to as “players.

Actors too. So maybe the “play” referred to in Our Holy Qur’an refers to the Arts period. Sport and Art. Unless it’s for a righteous purpose, I’m sure.

The Nation of Islam put on a play called “Orgena” back in the day. And used to have music at the Salaam restaurant. So, I guess if it is used for righteous purposes the Arts can be approved.

But I’m just going on. I’m having a difficult time trying to justify my son playing football.

It may seem like it’s not a big deal and I was going along with it for a while, just because I know it’s a quick way to make A LOT of money and I know that our Nation has a lot of building to do. But Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) NEVER used questionable means to gain funds.

I can’t go along with it. The ends do not justify the means.

I’m reminded of when my mother’s son first came out of the closet. I had not accepted my own (Islam) yet and he told me later that I would go back and forth in my support or disapproval of his lifestyle.

Well, eventually, I did accept my own and cut him and his abominable way of life off completely.

That’s what I see happening with my own son.

When he told me he wanted to play football… Let me think if I would feel the same way if he was playing basketball… Yes, because the bottom line is, His jersey would have the Name “ALLAH” and that would be a mockery to The Greatest and Most Powerful Human Being in the Universe, His Book, His Angels and All Who Believe in and Worship Him.

I am sorry I gave him that Holy Name.

Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Gave me the name HAKIM. I was a baby in Islam, but I knew what it meant. I think I had looked it up because of Moesha’s neighbor.

In sha Allah, I’m wrong, because the Blackman has more powerful brains than I do. And Hakim means WISE. And ALLAH Did give me the name. But I don’t think so.

I’m cutting him off right here before it gets worse for me.

I am ashamed I gave him that Name. He is going to drag it through the mud and I don’t want to be associated with him.

I am reminded of the last Moorish ruler of Spain who lost the throne to Queen Elizabeth and whatever that man’s name was – Crusaders. He disgraced not just his family but the entire Muslim Caliphate.

That is how I feel.


On G.P.

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum My Beautiful and Beloved Asiatic Black Brothers and Sisters in the Wilderness of North America

Man, oh man! My life is so unusual. I mean, even more than my life usually is!

I’m living homeless in Santa Monica and it’s crazy because Zawji’s facebook page says (or said) he lives out here too.

I’m not here because of him though.

I’m here because it’s the best place to be.

I even have a (310) area code on my Obama phone.

I had to let T-Mobile go after ten years due to Social Security cutting off my crazy check. But I’m grateful to have a phone.

California is so dope. Our Obamaphones are smartphones. In Atlanta, they only have the flip phones and I don’t even recall seeing them giving them away in NOLA.

And Santa Monica is the dopest of all because the whole city has WiFi. You don’t have to go to the library or a coffeeshop. But the computer gods pick and choose who can get logged in.

It was a while before I was able to get plugged in but now it’s on and crackin’.

So, there’s so much to do out here!

First, the BEACH!!!

I got so dark, I hardly recognized myself when I looked in the mirror.

I love to play in the sand and I had seen men bathing in the ocean water but never realized what a positive effect it has on your skin.

My legs are so silky smooth. I’ve always had nice legs but now! There is something about the ocean water that is good for your skin.

I only got in all the way twice because I don’t like the salty water taste. It is supersaturated almost with salt. And I don’t like it.

I like to walk on the shore and play with the incoming waves.

It’s crazy because I’ve been coming out here since Easter and during the week it was pretty empty but now! The parking lot is full all the time and I’ve NEVER seen that in my entire life.

I saw a Black family have to walk the bike trail just to get to their car! And this was like a TUESDAY!!!

At first, it used to piss me off because I like to be alone with the beach and the water and the sun and the birds and things but now, I just get my beach time in early in the morning before the crowds arrive.

I like watching the Sunset too. It is so beautiful.

I never fully realized how beautiful the beach is. I mean. We’ve got the beach (sand), the pier (the ferris wheel), the waves breaking, the ocean, the sky. There are just so many dimensions to the beauty.

Everyone should put Visit the Pacific Ocean on their bucket list. I’ve only seen it from California and Hawaii but I’m sure it’s beautiful from any location.

The past couple of nights, I caught some good entertainment. The night before last there was the cutest Black couple. They must’ve been in their fifties but they were so cute. They were singing and dancing and I just loved them. I got some video but I’m going to have to figure out how to add it later, In sha Allah. Click HERE

Then last night there was this group of Black teenage boys dancing. They were so cute but I was more impressed that they were all BLACK. Usually, they are interracial and you know how I hate that.

But they performed to “Flashlight” LOL And it was so cute watching these little babies do dances we used to do in High School. They were good though. I got video of them too. In sha Allah later…

Click HERE to see the video

Then there’s the Third Street Promenade!

I’m taking my time going into all the shops. My favorites are Anthropologie, Armani Exchange, Urban Outfitters, Converse (where you can design and make your own shoes!), Adidas and some others I can’t think of right now. Adidas has a golf line for men that I absolutely adore.

Why is there an “It’s Sugar” store on the Promenade now? LOL I thought I left my addiction in New Orleans!

There is good entertainment on the Promenade too.

Oh My God! Last year or so ago, there was this Sister singing Opera and I didn’t really listen to her. I just supported her because she was Black. But I got a chance to really listen to her and she just blew my mind. I love opera and she is top notch. Her high notes were off the register. And she just sounded so beautiful. She’s up there with Kathleen but she doesn’t LOOK like Kathleen which is why she is blessing us with her talent on the Promenade. She’s usually there for the Farmer’s Markets on Wednesdays and Saturdays from like 9-1.

One day I was there and I saw this old devil woman setting up. She had a sign with her name. I think she spells it like this: Sh’herezad. And you know that is the name of the woman who wrote 1001 Arabian Nights or whatever that book is called. So, I was like whatever. She’s just trying to steal our history and culture like devils always do.

But one night I heard someone singing “All of Me” and I went for a closer look and it was her. But it seemed that she only sang that song to get my attention because as soon as she had it she stopped singing and just started playing some Arabian music and dancing. I was captured.

I think she’s a gypsy. But she has Arabic writing on one of her signs and the bulk of her audience is Muslims.

Oh let me say this. Muslims have taken over the Promenade. I would say 75 per cent of the people are Middle Eastern.

And one night they just took over her whole show. It was Abdullah’s birthday. And Muslims don’t celebrate birthdays but I guess being in America…

Anyway, they had taken over her bluetooth and were choosing the songs and dancing. One of the Sisters came over to me and pulled me in with their group and we just danced.

Then when it was time to go, another one of the Sisters came up to me and outstretched her hand to introduce herself. I shook her hand and she slipped me forty dollars. Low key.

That was the coolest move ever.

There are some other good performers like this guy who I think does the music for Sh’herezad. They act like they’re not together but the similarities are just too apparent for them not to be.

I think they’re gypsies like I said. I didn’t know gypsies were Muslims. But I don’t know much about gypsies. I think they are like the entertaining Muslims. Let me G them. BRB I didn’t find anything to verify my claim that they’re Muslims. Under religion, it listed just about every religion, including Islam. But Idk. I wanted to talk to her but she was rude to me and acted like she didn’t know what I was talking about when I asked about this song she plays all the time. So, now I’m like whatever.

I try to catch the sunset everyday. But I never know where I’m going to be.

I have a spot I go to at night and it’s really cool. But last night why did this woman try to take over my spot?!!!? I was like Un-uh. You got to go. So I started banging on the door and she got mad and called the police on me.

But the police see me there all the time and know me (kinda), so they ended up making her leave which is all I wanted in the first place.

If I gave her a pass then everybody would be trying to come and you can’t do that when you’re trespassing. If a lot of people come, the police will make everybody leave, so I had to handle her myself.

I could not believe the nerve she had to try and take over my space and then call the police on ME! Justice served.

I finally rescued LuLu from the Union Rescue Mission. We’ve been traveling around SaMo and just enjoying life.

I have no plans. No goals. Just living and enjoying life. Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praises are due forever, said, “Life is a Park” so I’m just going to play and have fun.

I’m already planning my next trip to New Orleans. But I go to court next month to change my name. And I want to get my new I.D. before I go. So probably not until September/October. Which will be cool because the hot weather will be over but it will still be hurricane season. I’m not afraid but I don’t know why I always end up in New Orleans during hurricane season. :/

So cheah.

I’m just writing now while I have access to a computer. It is bittersweet not having my laptop anymore. I go through phases where I give all my stuff (burdens) away. Hence, no laptop. But now I have to wait until I can get to a computer to write. Upside is I don’t have to carry my laptop everywhere I go. I’m really trying to keep my burdens light.

When I met Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praises are due forever, He Only Was Carrying A Messenger Bag. Not even a change of clothes. So, I’m trying to really travel light.

I’ll probably get another laptop one day, In sha Allah. But who knows?

In the meantime – See you when I see you! 😉


Finally Back

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved Asiatic Black People!

I’m not married to زوجي yet. But I’m getting closer everyday. Even though I just got out of jail where I learned three lessons.

  1. Fall back when it comes to زوجي and LET NATURE TAKE ITS COURSE.
  2. Never stop writing.
  3. I can’t tell you. Sorry.

I started writing this long “book” (blog) while I was in jail about everything that has happened to me since I stopped writing so since I have a lot of time to write, I’m going to go ahead and enter it. Here goes…

الحمد لله

I pray you all are enjoying peace and prosperity and abundant blessings from Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises are Due Forever! I, myself am locked up in jail but I hope to get out within the next few days. إن شاء الله

As you know, I had planned to complete the blog a few months ago, never to write again but as it is written in The Holy Qur’an, “We plan and Allah Plans. Surely Allah is the Best of Planners.” So Here I Am.

I humbly return to you seeking your forgiveness for having left you without something to exhort you to truth, righteousness and patience. That is the reason I’m in jail. الله Told me to start writing again over a month ago, but I was unwilling due to foolish pride. But as it is written, الله Has the Power to Force us to submit to His Will – willingly or unwillingly.

Never stop writing is one of three Lessons I have learned thus far during my incarceration. The first Lesson was Let Nature Take Its Course when it comes to زوجي. I have spent the last three years and six months trying to force myself on him and it has gotten me nowhere. I knew for the last three years and two months that الله Willed that I fall back. But I also learned in jail that I’m stubborn! That’s what the deputies said about me. الله Said I’m stubborn “as a mule!” That really hurt my feelings because a mule is grafted and Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of الله Forever Be Upon Him) taught us that anything grafted is a devil.

So now that I know, I’m really trying not to be stubborn. It hurts my pride though. But as it is written in the Psalms of King David, “Pride goeth before a fall” and I fell right into the hands of the Sheriff. SMH

So, since you’re probably wondering why I’m in jail. I’m going to pick up where I left off in New Orleans, March Two Thousand and Seventeen.

I “finished” the blog near the end of the month and I had decided to return to L.A. on my pick-up day (the 3rd). The third arrived and I bid farewell first, to my landlord (Thank you, D, for your kindness and generosity. You and Kim are up there when I think of all the sweet people I met in New Orleans. May Allah Bless You Both With Peace and Contentment, Money, a Good Home and Friendships in All Walks of Life! Muah! 🙂 )

Then I had to say goodbye to Miss Mary, my roommate who taught me how to close a door peaceably when I leave a room. I miss our afternoon walks in the embracing New Orleans humidity. I forget how old she is (seventyish, I think) but I wanted to take her out for walks because she spent all her time in the house and I remembered my Grandmother taking my Great-Grandmother (her mother) out for afternoon walks.

Miss Mary had fibroids when she was younger leaving her womb barren. So I took it upon myself to be her adopted daughter and just loved her.

She was so supportive when I told her about زوجي and he was my main reason for leaving so she understood.

I pray Allah you get to take walks sometimes, Miss Mary, and if I decide to not be homeless next time I’m in New Orleans, I’m coming to see you so you can give me Derrick’s number.

One day after I returned to L.A., I was on the Expo Line and this young Brother was on the train with two Sisters. Then this gay Puerto Rican (I think) gets up and switches over to the Brother and sits down. So, I could not restrain myself and I told the Brother he was wrong for being gay when he was with two Beautiful Black Sisters and he was the reason there aren’t more Beautiful Black Babies, and I just really let him have it. So, instead of the Black girls and other Black people on the train agreeing with me, they told me was wrong! And pretty soon everybody on the train wanted to kill me.

I was completely shocked. But I have done like الله commanded us in The Revelation and “Come out of her” so I was caught completely off guard; unaware of the extent that the abomination of homosexuality has corrupted people.

So we get to the end of the line and I’m still running my mouth and then we all get on the escalator and the Brother reaches over (he’s about 6’3″ with long limbs), snatches my phone out of my hand and breaks!!!

I should have chased him but I just saw those long legs stretch across the train station and felt like I would never be able to overtake him.

So, that’s how I lost Derrick’s number. :/

But I made a video as soon as I left the house. I went Live on Facebook. Let me see if I can post it. BRB

It won’t play from here but if you click “Watch on Facebook” you can view it.

I can’t post it for some reason. FB has changed their settings again but I might be able to figure it out later. إن شاء الله

So, I made it back to Los Skanless and went straight to the shelter. I couldn’t get a bed but I ran into my musician friend, Wans from Belgium. Yes, he’s Black. You may have heard about King Leopold of Belgium and all the atrocities he committed against the people of the Congo when he colonized their land. Well apparently, they imported some of the African people to Belgium because there I was talking to Wans.

He has Stockholm Syndrome though insisting that there’s no prejudice there and everyone lives in peace and harmony. :/ The white man is the devil regardless of time or place.

We met one day when I heard some live music coming from the cafeteria and there he was playing his alto. I love live music so I sat down next to him and listened. We struck up a conversation and Voila!

So, one of the first things I noticed about Skid Row is that there’s always good music playing. When you’re homeless, music really helps, so a lot of people have speakers and they are generous enough to share their music. Not like in New Orleans, where everybody (well, not everybody but this one lady, who has this souped up bike) wants a tip. 

In the eighteen years since I’ve been going to Skid Row, I’ve only met one person who was playing music I didn’t want to listen to and I have extremely high standards when it comes to music.

So, another thing I learned is that there’s a community of artists within the Skid Row community and whenever there is an event down there, they pull from this pool of artists for entertainment. But I could not find it to get in it!

But one day, after I had been on Skid Row for awhile, Wans told me that there was going to be a jam session the next day across the street and I could be his guest. I’ve learned that musicians don’t like people just coming out of nowhere into their circle. They prefer if someone brings you in and introduces you.

So, I went to the jam session and had I known they were going to be that good I would have recorded it. But the group was interracial and I’m with that separation, so I couldn’t get with them.

But! I met the man who is over the artists’ space and he told me there was going to be a new artists’ orientation the next day!

So, I went and signed up and reserved the music room so I could practice the piano. But I had been playing this janky baby grand in the chapel at the shelter (they used to have an upright in the women’s day room but it’s gone now) and there would always be people there who would applaud whenever I finished a number so playing all by myself was boring and I left early.

I also found out about this singing group and it sounded interesting so I decided to check it out. One day I would like to have a choir and call it L.O.V.E. (Lifting Our Voices Everywhere). But in the meantime, I thought I might join their group. So I went and the director was this Jewish man who told me his girlfriend was Muslim and after visiting the group, I realized he practices Buddhism.

He assured me the group was non-denominational and the songs were all non-denominational too. But later he’s telling us that they just performed Handel’s Messiah.

And they were about to perform “Noah’s Ark” both of which are Christian. They also have to wear certain clothes when they perform and I’m not coming out of my garment for NOObody!!!

But it was an opportunity to sing in front of a willing audience (the group) and he said I didn’t have to perform if I didn’t want to. He made it seem real laid back and tried to make me feel comfortable. But I had seen almost everybody from the group around Skid Row and two of them I openly disliked and the others were people I would NEVER associate with. They were a group of misfits. But I wanted to sing so I made allowances for their many shortcomings.

That first day was “Songshare” where you could perform a song of your choice or he would play it from the Internet. So, I sang “Misty”

I was really pleased with how I sounded and they liked it too. I also wanted to be a part of the group to get the constructive criticism from the director who was a professional voice instructor but I learned that I’m a soloist and I need ALL the attention. But I wanted to sing so I tolerated the other people.

The sessions were on Mondays and Wednesdays but I could never make it on Mondays because I was always taking care of homelessness business. But the director assured me that it was okay; no worries. He wanted to put me on the text list though and I would get all the texts that the group got. I didn’t want it but I let him talk me into it.

Now the first week, he had us do some “breathing exercises” which were really meditation but I didn’t mind because I used to do Muslim meditation so I wasn’t trippin’. One time I did feel a little uncomfortable but I just brushed it off.

So, the next week he knew I’m into jazz and some of the other members were too so he decided to do a jazz history Lesson but he wanted to start from the beginning of “recorded music” and I said “white music history” and he agreed. So, he goes on to say that music started with Buddhist monks and their one note chant. But I interjected because ninety-nine per cent of the class was Black. So I said, “In Africa we had been singing in harmony and using drums and other instruments for thousands of years before their one note chant!”

So then he starts getting defensive saying that scholars argue over that fact. I said, “It’s true they just don’t want to admit that Black people did it first!” So he said they debate and blahzay blah blah then he went back to the Lesson and I knew more than he did.

We were talking about the birth of jazz and New Orleans is my second home and he had never been there. So, I’m telling them how Pops has this huge park with this huge statue of him and the airport is named “The Louis Armstrong International Airport” and I could not believe none of them had ever heard of a Second Line! I told them Pops wrote the first autobiography by a jazz musician.

Then we talked about Ellington, be-bop with Bird and Diz and he tried to say Monk wasn’t be-bop! I told him Monk was the piano player at Minton’s where be-bop was born! Then he tried to say Miles was be-bop. I said “True, Miles did play as a sideman for Bird but he is known for ‘The Birth of the Cool’.” So he ended up saying I could have taught the class.

So, the next week was Songshare again and I sang “Summertime” But I sang it kinda jazzy/R&B/gospel. This one Sister said I have good voice control which really pleased me because I pride myself on my ability to hold my breath for a long time; holding long notes and whatnot.

So, every week at the start of the session, we would do the meditation and after each singer we would take a deep breath so I’m not realizing it but he’s using Buddhism to hold sway over the group and also to knit us together. But I didn’t want to be knit together with them. I just wanted to be applauded for my singing. So, I asked to be removed from the text blasts and the next session I deliberately arrived ten minutes late.

When I walked in they were deep into the meditation and no one looked to see who had walked in. He continued giving instructions but nodded at me. So, I’m taking this all in and in Islam, we meditate but its’ more like a prayer between us and الله. There is no middle man.

So, I really did not like how much control he had. Everybody was in a trance. And he was using Buddhism to do it. One time when he ended the meditation, he had everybody sing just one note and it sounded just like the Buddhist chant “Om.” I should have known then.

Buddhism has been around for thirty-five thousand years. They have been an enemy to الله and the righteous much longer than Christianity, which is only about six hundred years old. So Our Beloved Messenger (صلى الله عليه وسلم) taught us that Our Saviour taught him “If you meet a Buddhist and a Christian walking together, kill the Buddhist first.” 

So, I left the session and never returned.

There are a lot of “starving artists” on Skid Row; musicians, visual artists, thespians, dancers and many are really talented but they’re all Christians or on this “I love everybody” kick and trying to “coexist” but I know that path leads straight to Hell.

Wans is in it too. I always tried to ignore that cross hanging conspicuously from his neck. But churches use music to ensnare the people. There are many musicians working in churches just for the paycheck. Wans even told me he knew of a church that was looking for a singer. What I look like singing to a dead Jesus just because the song is pretty and I sound beautiful?

* * * * * * * *

These girls in jail are so cute. I used to didn’t like nineties babies because they call me “old” and they are some of the most arrogant people you ever met.

I had a bunkie who was 26 and Oh My God! You would think she created the universe or something. She was so full of herself and her generation! I couldn’t believe how conceited she is. She wants to be a motivational speaker but she curses. LOL You should’ve heard her speeches. It was so funny. She was dead serious though. It’s just that these girls curse like nothing. Every other word is a female dog and every noun is preceded by effin. It’s even worse than that though. They don’t say they’re their man’s “Lady” or “Girl.” They call themselves his female dog. I only heard one girl do that so it may not be that many but I’m sure the Brothers call their girl their female dog because I heard this lesbian refer to her girlfriend as that. But I loved hearing them talk to each other. Girls that go to jail are so COOL! LOL They talk differently to each other though -than when they talk to me or any other elder.

I love how they say “You feel me?” Because I know they got it from Pac. Knawmean? and “You know whut I’m sayin’?” sound like relics from the past. It could be an L.A. thing because I didn’t hear it anywhere else. But these kids want to be felt!

The Sister might make it as a motivational speaker with the cursing because her generation seems to know no other way to communicate.

When I went to court the other day, they had everybody in tanks that were going to the same court and there were bound to be some familiar faces. This happened TWICE! Once on the way TO court and again on the way back.

Girl 1: Ay, don’t I know you?
Girl 2: You do look kinda familiar.
Girl 1: You know so and so from          (gang name)         ?
Girl 2: YEAH! You’re so and so from          (gang name or street name)          !!!!

Then they may hug or bump fists but after that the conversation gets really juicy.

Girl 2: You know Weezo told me he would pay me to beat you up.
Girl 1: What? I hate that nigga.

*Note – Mexicans and white people call each other “nigga” like it’s the same as “dude” or “fool.” I know. I had heard that too but it’s a whole ‘nother thing to actually hear it.

Girl 2: Yeah, but I told him No. That nigga was supposed to bail me out and I don’t do that s!#t no more. I’m trying to be cute and ladylike.
Girl 1: What you in here for?
Girl 2: I got pulled over in the G-ride on my way to make a pick-up.

*Note – There are so many girls in jail for GTA. I know it’s because of that video game.

Girl 2: What about you?
Girl 1: Possession.

*Note – Everybody smokes meth (“Pookie”)

Girl 1: You know Lil Bit is in here for spousal abuse…

*Note – Three of my six bunkies were in jail for spousal abuse/domestic violence. I heard domestic violence is a felony.

Girl 1: …And they picked up her kids this morning.

*Note – Everybody’s kids are in the system.

You know, this is not so cute anymore. It’s making me want to cry. They’re cute, but their lives are HELL. All they know is CRIME and JAIL. The men they deal with are womanizers.  So a lot of them are lesbians.

I guess that’s why I’m here. Whenever someone says (and someone always says) “Everybody smokes meth.” I raise my hand and say loud and clear “I don’t!” And their jaws drop and eyes widen then I go on to say, “I don’t smoke, drink, do drugs and I don’t have sex. And then I start advising them on how to quit because they all want to quit.

Mostly I tell them to pray and ask Allah for help. I tell them that’s how I stopped smoking cigarettes. By then I have everybody’s full attention and I’m like the Queen Mother.

I met one Sister who, other than “Read Message To The Blackman, I didn’t know what to tell her. I thought she was a boy but I learned she has a hormonal imbalance so although she has the reproductive system of a female, she looks and sounds like a male.

I’ve had a little time to think about it and hers is the only instance when hormone pills should be used. NOT for men who just want to be female but for females who, for whatever reason, their bodies are not producing them!

They should have given them to her when she was a little girl so she could have had a normal childhood and wouldn’t have had to suffer the taunts of her peers. Because now she’s embraced the masculine traits and is living, unbeknownst to the casual observer, as a lesbian.

So, if you’re reading this, my Dear Little Sister, pray and ask Allah to help you make your body produce the chemicals to produce estrogen to override the testosterone and get some hormone pills so you can stop living the abomination of homosexuality. You are causing your girlfriends to sin.

So, after I saw Wans and couldn’t get a bed, I went to a hotel and stayed there until my money ran out. I like this particular hotel because it’s very clean and I had tried to get in some more popular motels in the area but they wouldn’t let me stay longer than three hours! They are just dens of iniquity catering to whores and whoremongers.

So when my money ran out, I went back to “The Row” and they still didn’t have any beds, so I had to be “overflow.” That means you have to wait outside on the street until all the people with bed and cot tickets get their beds then they let us in and we have to find a spot on the floor between the people who are already on the floor and it’s just bad.

They say they let us in at seven but, in a month, I only got in at seven once or twice. Every other night they leave you standing out on the street in the cold susceptible to the lascivious fantasies of all the men on Skid Row (and there are a lot of them), only finally letting us in between nine and ten.

The ones in the front got the best spots. If you were at the end of the line, you could be walking around for twenty minutes trying to squeeze in somewhere where nobody wants you.

So one night I was waiting outside, at the front of the line with this Sister (we both used to cut in the front of the line, so we got along good and she used to talk alot so it made the time go by faster. I feel a little guilty about cutting now because some of those women used to get there at three (when the Women’s Center closed; there’s nothing to do and nowhere to go when you’re broke and homeless) to be first in line and they wanted to kill us. Nobody ever said anything to staff but I heard them talking amongst each other. But hell, in that type of situation it’s go for self).

And so, we’re at the front of the line, right outside the front door, and I hear “As-Salaam-Alaikum!” So I turn around and there’s this Brother. He has his phone in front of him and I think he’s recording but I’m like “Nah, why would he be recording this?” So, I ignore the camera and we start talking. He tells me he has an SRO (Single Room Occupancy. It’s just a room in a hotel where you share the kitchen and bathrooms and it’s only about one per cent better than the shelter) but it was better so I made him feel okay about his little SRO and I joined him on his walk back home from the store.

During the walk, I learned his name and that he grew up in the Nation but he smokes weed and curses like a devil. But he said I could have the bed and he would sleep on the floor.

Turns out he was Live on Facebook when he picked me up and I added him, so I saw the video. Man. I am so embarrassed I wouldn’t post the video if I could.

I knew I was aggressive but I’d never seen how I look in action. It did not look good. The only thing I can attribute it to is the fact that my father molested me but it was so unbecoming. I don’t even care that I got what I wanted. My body language was so suggestive. On the up side, at least, now I’m aware of it, so I can consciously pump my brakes.

So, we got into a little argument about the proper foods to eat but when I left the next day, I thought everything was cool. I think he wanted me to stay, but I didn’t want him to start catching feelings or nothing. I’m still زوجي’s. Nothing can change that fact. So we made arrangements for him to come pick me up from the shelter again that night but he never showed up. We talked on FB and I chalked it up to miscommunication but other than commenting on each other’s posts we never hooked back up. 

I saw him three times in one day, one day and every time he acted like he didn’t see me. I mean, he went out of his way to avoid me. IDKY.

So, I’m going to the shelter every night. Eventually, I did get a bed ticket (a “cot ticket” to be specific). The homeless situation is so bad in L.A. that the Women’s Dorm is completely filled. The Women’s Day Room is completely filled. And the Chapel is completely filled with women sleeping on the floor packed like a slave ship almost.

So, I didn’t have to wait outside anymore, which for an M.G.T. like me, was the worst part. I felt like a whore standing out there on the street at night. You see how easy it was for me to get picked up. And I wasn’t on the floor anymore but it was still cramped.

During the day, I would go to the “Women’s” Center. I put Women’s in quotation marks because it seems like there are more men in there than women! All of the volunteers in positions of authority are men. And I just couldn’t stomach these MEN trying to be women bossing the REAL WOMEN around! It was NAUSEATING!!!

I stopped going after one of them came in the bathroom right after I got out of the shower. I was dressed but what if I wasn’t? It’s disgraceful the depths of evil and filth to which this world has sunk.

I was in Santa Monica at the pier one night and there were men in the Women’s restroom! And they weren’t even trannys. Where was I supposed to use the bathroom?!!!!!!!

I would also go to the Library. At one point, I had a little show where I would go Live from the Library on FB. I couldn’t talk because it’s supposed to be quiet, so I used sign language and written signs.

That was a lot of fun until I reached into my bag and my purse was gone. But I knew nobody stole it. It was just in The Twilight Zone. Sometimes my stuff just disappears. Sometimes I can conjure it up again but if I can’t, it’s gone for good.

So, I was getting burnt out on the shelter and it was Easter. I had a couple of hours before I had to be at the shelter so I decided to take the Expo Line to the beach. I got there and I could not believe how packed it was but the ocean looked beautiful. I only had about five minutes to look at it but I was hooked. I started going every day.

I found out this Homeless Resource Center (HRC) I used to go to back in 1999 had moved, so I went to the new address but it’s co-ed now. I don’t like that but there’s one side where the men don’t usually go so I just hang out there.

In any case, I can shower, do my laundry, take a nap, charge my electronic devices and get a hot plate. So, I started spending my days there and just went to DTLA to sleep.

For March A.J. Day, I went to Tiffany’s. I like to go there and see if they have my wedding set. So the saleslady LOVED me for some reason. I was homeless, broke and couldn’t afford anything in the store but she treated me like I was married to a BILLIONAIRE!

I went around the store and she went with me showing me all the different pieces of jewelry and the pieces that were exclusive to Tiffany’s. I decided which ones I would buy if I really was married to a Billionaire and satisfied my thirst for looking at pretty things but she did not want me to leave!

She offered me some water, Perrier or Evian, but I already told you I had satisfied my thirst but she kept insisting, so I told her Evian. I don’t like Perrier having tried it when I worked at Sbarro’s in The Beverly Center back in the eighties. But everybody thinks Perrier is high class.

So she comes back and says they don’t have any cold Evian and I let her talk me into the Perrier. She brings out a silver tray with the bottle of Perrier and a little blue Tiffany’s cup. There’s also a piece of chocolate on the tray. She said that was to apologize for not having the Evian.

So she pours the Perrier into the cup for me. I take the cup and the chocolate and leave.

I wished I had taken the room temperature Evian. Carbonated drinks are not good for you anyway. So, I just ended up tossing it.

But OH MY GOD, when I tasted that piece of chocolate, I was transported to HEAVEN!!!

That was the BEST CHOCOLATE I HAD EVER HAD IN MY LIFE. AND I’M A CHOCOHOLIC!!! I eat chocolate EVERY DAY!!! Candy, cookies, muffins, chocolate milk…. SOMETHING CHOCOLATE EVERY DAY!!! And I had never felt this way about chocolate before. It was beyond words.

I had seen the brand in the store many times before but I never bought it because it’s kind of expensive and I didn’t know how good it is.

It was Lindt Lindor.

Image result for lindor milk chocolate

It looks so delicious. It has this creamy, milky inside that is just indescribable.

There’s a Lindt store in the Riverwalk Mall in New Orleans but when I was there it was almost Easter and they had all this Easter stuff and I hate Easter. So, I didn’t go in but I watched a video they were playing showing where they get the chocolate. Africa. I was kind of offended because all of the workers were Black and I feel like they’re being exploited for their resources but not offended enough to not buy it. They have the BEST chocolate in the world. إن شاء الله one day they’ll nationalize all of those privately owned corporations that are stealing the resources and I won’t have to feel guilty anymore.

So, I got back to the shelter and I’m talking to this Sister who is Oprah’s doppelgänger. I see Oprah’s doppels all the time. I think because I wanted to be the next Oprah when I was growing up. I wanted my own talk show and I went to college to be a news reporter like Oprah when she started out. But this sister said everybody tells her she looks and talks like Oprah.

So we’re outside waiting in line (I hadn’t cut to the front of the line yet) and this Brother comes up selling candy. Why was he selling Lindt? Not the balls. This kind.

Image result for lindt chocolate red wrapper

I knew that was my A.J. Day present, so I bought two. Chocolate is always better when you share, so I gave some to Oprah and OMG! It was even better than before!!! Happy A.J. Day to me!

So May comes in and I get my crazy check and I wanted to take a break from the shelter and spend a night or two at the motel. But when you have a bed ticket you have to get an overnight pass if you’re going to miss a night or else you lose your bed.

So I went and asked for an overnight pass. And she made me feel worthless. “For a COT TICKET? Hell No!”

“Why not?”

Because I’m not!!!

So I spent the nights at the motel anyway but I kept the ticket. I knew it was no good but the guard at the back door didn’t so at least I got in and didn’t have to wait on the sidewalk all night. I also got a better selection of spots on the floor.

A few more nights of that and I was fed up. One morning I kept the blanket, left and never returned.

I started sleeping on the beach. I know this place that’s open 24/7 and it’s public. I had seen people sleeping there before and it’s right next to a guard tower so it’s safe.

A couple of weeks or one week and a few days before Mother’s Day, I rode the bus up the coast to Malibu like I used to do the first time I became homeless.

The bus used to go from DTLA to Downtown Malibu but now there’s the train that goes from DTLA to Downtown Santa Monica. So the bus starts from Downtown Santa Monica and goes even farther up the coast!

So, I always like ابننا to see how rich Billionaire’s live so the week before Mother’s Day, I took him up there. We had lunch and took some pictures.


The next week was Mother’s Day and I felt like الله, زوجي وابننا had given me The Pacific Ocean for Mother’s Day. What could be better or bigger than sixty-eight million, six hundred thirty-four thousand square miles of water? It’s the biggest thing on our planet!

Last year زوجي gave me a song that’s still in heavy rotation

But he topped it this year. I made a video live on FB. Let me see if I can post it.

Same as the other one.

May A.J. Day I was having an episode and didn’t even realize it had come in. It was on a Monday. However, on Tuesday I decided to catch the bus up the coast just to chill out and one of زوجي’s doppels got on the bus. I made up my mind right then and there to get off the bus wherever he got off. So he got off in DTM, but the guy he was talking to on the bus got off with him. I got off anyway.

So they go in this convenience store and start buying all kinds of stuff. I’m broke as usual and can’t make up my mind whether or not I should stay or go. So, I keep going in and out the store.

Eventually, they come out and I fall in step behind them. He turns around and says, “You coming with us?” And I’m like “Yeah.” Then he says something about his wife and I’m like “Whatever.” They always have a wife. Which is the reason I’m in jail. Lesson #1 – Fall Back and Let Nature Take Its Course.

But I hadn’t learned that Lesson yet, so I went with them anyway.

We got back on the bus and got off at the beach. So I’m like, “Cool, now I can go off on my own” like Al B. Sure said to do. I’m not gonna post the video because I never liked the way he sang. I just watched some of the video and he was doing way too much.

So I let them get ahead of me and I went down to the shore. I kept walking and I see them coming in my direction. He had said something about a campsite and then I see a place in the sand where there had clearly been a campfire. So they laid their sleeping bags next to the spot and I had acquired a sleeping bag at the HRC so I laid it on the opposite side in an attempt to establish a boys’ side and a girls’ side thus keeping the sexes separate.

So I felt like the friend was using magic trying to steal my laptop and the doppel was trying to get my gloves. Someone is always trying to steal my gloves. I know why but you won’t believe me.

So after awhile, the doppel told me he lives in Santa Monica but he works as a chef in Hollywood. So he says he’s about to go to the store. Naturally, I wanted to go with him but he starts talking about he has to do things by himself. So it’s dark… Oh! Wait a minute.

When we first got to the campsite, one of the surfers (there was a gang of them in the water) comes over talking about he left his keys over by where we were and they start talking but I know the game. They were selling drugs to those white boys.

I’m not saying all Black guys sell drugs but that would make the fourth time I’ve hung out with drug dealers.

Okay, so it’s dark now and I walk with him as far as I could go. (I couldn’t keep up) then he goes off a little ways and stops. It’s dark and he looks like a shadow. So then he starts shape-shifting into something that looks like a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and then he takes off like lightning out of sight.

I’m like “Okay…” That’s not the craziest thing I’ve ever seen so I’m not tripping. I go back to the campsite and the friend is in his sleeping bag. We start talking and he’s 50’s doppelganger. He sounded EXACTLY like him and he was from NYC. I tested him. ابننا always told me that 50’s mom was gay and he didn’t like her. So I asked him “Do you like your mom?” He sounded like a little boy, “NO!” We talked about Islam. He sang “Al Fatiha” and I was impressed. I don’t even sing it. But he was 50’s doppel so he’s got to be into music.

The doppel had gone to get him some cigs so we talked about how smoking and drinking are bad for your health. He said he knew that but he likes to do it anyway.

So LL came back and he was ready to start the campfire. He wanted to wait until it was late, so as not to attract unwanted attention. He had to go up the beach to get some wood. I went as far as I could. I was scared الله Was going to change the matrix and I wouldn’t be able to get back to the campsite. I didn’t trust the doppel.

So I learned how to start a campfire that night which is good to know since I’m homeless.

He put his hand over the fire and told me to take his picture. I was so taken aback by how much he looked like ابننا that I didn’t fully comprehend that he had his hand right over the fire!

So he took my picture by the fire too and I grabbed one of the flaming pieces of wood and held it up like a torch but he wouldn’t take my picture like that. I told him to add me on FB so he went to my profile and I have the picture of me and ابننا I posted above as my profile picture and he asked me “Who is dude in the picture?” LOL I said, “That’s my son.” Then he mumbled something about me having a 25-year-old son LOL ابننا is fifteen. He was fourteen when that picture was taken. I’m not tripping though because ابنتنا is 26, so I’m definitely old enough to have a 25-year-old son. He just didn’t know it!

So I laid down by the fire and almost suffocated from invisible smoke. Then I got up and moved to the other side. The doppel objected for some reason but he was already in his sleeping bag and wasn’t much of a threat. He talked until he fell asleep. 50 fell asleep shortly thereafter but I didn’t trust either of them so I stayed up and waited for the sun to rise.

Sometimes I’m scared it’s not gonna come up and it’s gonna be ten a.m. and still dark. It’s like that in Norway. I think that’s why they have a city named “Hell.”

My uncle lives there and they have a period of about two weeks when the sun doesn’t rise at all. It stays dark. They always come to the states during that time of year. They say a lot of people commit suicide.

There is an equal amount of time when the sun never sets though. Let me G it to see exactly how long it lasts. From April to August!!!

But this is L.A. and, of course she came up. I thought they might get up early like those two “Muslim” Brothers I hung out with in New Orleans. But they didn’t so I packed up my stuff and got on the bus going farther up the coast.

Why was Prince’s doppelganger on the bus? And tell me why was he reading “Fall of America!?” ROFL I couldn’t.

So he told me he was on his way to work. But when he got off the bus he sort of stood there and looked at me like “You coming?” But Prince is what I call a sextrovert. He’s really out there with his sexuality. I love his music (most of it) but sometimes he makes me feel really uncomfortable and embarrassed.

He has this one song about sex with his sister and how much he enjoyed it. That’s incest. So I was cool. I had just gotten out of a situation and it was a little too soon for another adventure.

So I stayed on the bus and got off at my spot. But I didn’t feel like I usually felt. Like breathtaken at it’s beauty. You know? I walked on the beach but it seemed dirty and nasty. There was a lot of seaweed and beach flies and it just wasn’t as beautiful and serene as it usually was to me. Plus, I felt bored. But I didn’t have anything else to do so I continued my walk down to this place where I can pick up the bus again.

The bus to my spot only goes there six times a day; three in the morning and three in the afternoon. Just to drop off the maids for the rich devils that live up there.

So, you can see in the video, there’s a precipice next to the water but the last time I walked the shore (past the corner on the left where you can’t see around in the video) the tide was out and when I went around the corner where the water comes up to the shore, I just waited for the waves to subside and then I went around the corner not even getting my feet wet.

But this time it must’ve been High Tide because the next thing  I know my feet were underwater. I still had my shoes on but I wasn’t tripping because that wasn’t the first time I had gotten my feet wet with my shoes on and probably won’t be the last. It’s only water.

So, I keep walking and before I know it my ankles are under water but I’m like as soon as I get around this next corner there’s going to be beach and sand. But every time I hit the corner there were more rocks!

So now, I’m up walking on the rocks right next to the precipice and the water just keeps getting higher and higher. But trip this! Every time I think I’ve gotten to the end of the rocks, I look up and there’s more rocks! الله was allowing the devil to change the matrix testing my faith because I know it didn’t take that long to get to the sand last time. Plus the water is getting higher and higher and then it’s up to my thighs and I’m starting to panic.

I didn’t think I was going to make it to the sand before the water was up to my neck or higher.

So just when I think all hope is lost, I look up and there is a pathway in between the precipice leading away from the water! الله أكبر!!!

I was still scared because I didn’t know where the path led but I took it because I knew I couldn’t win a fight against 68,634,000 square miles of water (The Pacific Ocean).

Under normal circumstances I would have really enjoyed the walk up this path. It was beautiful. There were tropical plants everywhere and probably birds as well. But I was recovering from a near-death experience and was probably in shock.

So the pathway ends at this residential street but there’s a locked gate at the entrance. But الله أكبر! as soon as I get there there’s this devil with a surfboard going down to the beach. Now, I hadn’t seen a soul on the beach all morning but just when I needed somebody, there she was. الله أكبر!

So, at first I think I know where I am but الله let the devil change the matrix and I was lost again. So, I just start walking not knowing where I’m going and everytime I think I recognize the location – matrix switch.

So, I’m soaking wet. I’m dying of thirst (usually I have a water bottle, but I had just gone grocery shopping so my bag was stuffed and my water bottle, which I always keep on top had fallen out somewhere and I had never replaced it) but worst of all I’M LOST!!!!!!

So الله Says Stop. Rest.

And for some reason, I got the feeling that زوجي lived in the house to my right. If I had been a little more confident, I would have gone to that house. But I wasn’t and I felt like the house across the street was my house. So الله Told me to go over to it.

There was a white pick-up truck in the driveway parked in front of a two-car garage. So I sat on the back of the truck. But I felt like I wasn’t supposed to sit there. So I sat on the motor for the gate but that didn’t feel right either. So I decided to just ring the doorbell and ask for a glass of water.

So I go up to the front door and it’s open a little. And I’m like Okay…. So I push it all the way open and I see the house is furnished but I could tell nobody was living in it.

So I go in and the entire back of the house was glass or glass doors. So I see this devil in the backyard throwing a ball with a little dog. I knew immediately, that she was living in the pool house housesitting. So she looks up at me, smiles and goes back to playing with her dog.

So I take that as my cue that I was free to explore. It was a nice one-story, three bedroom, three bathroom house. I always wanted a one story house so that when I get old I won’t have to climb stairs. But the best part about the house was the backyard. I took a picture. Let me post it. إن شاء الله

Image may contain: outdoor and nature

I go in one of the bedrooms feeling just like Goldilocks and took a nap on Mama Bear’s bed.

If you haven’t already guessed from all the unusual things happening (the doppel shape shifting and taking off at lightning speed, and the beach and the street matrix switching) I’m having an episode. I never realize it until after the fact though.

So when I wake up from my nap, I got the horrible feeling that the bedroom door was gone and I was in a room with four walls. So I immediately contemplate the window. But I remembered that window I broke in New Orleans and it had plexiglass behind it so I’m starting to panic but I slowly look over my shoulder and the door is there, of course. الله Wouldn’t do that to me. But I took that to mean I was in the wrong room so I moved into the Master bedroom.

It was nice but I didn’t like the bed. When I finally settle into my own house, it has to have a waterbed. I thought being one-story was good enough too but it can’t be too big either because there were times in this house that I didn’t feel like walking to the bedroom from the window seat because it was so far. You feel me? 😉

There was also no carpet in the entire house. I didn’t like that either. I like furry stuff like stuffed animals and furry blankets, so you know I need to walk on luxurious carpeting and there was not even a rug in the whole house! Not even in the bathrooms. :/ Speaking of bathrooms, I couldn’t figure out how to work the jets in the tub for nothing. That was so frustrating. I didn’t take a bath the whole time I was in the house. Even though there were candles. So that means the house wasn’t meant for me.

There was a saddle holder though with a saddle and cowboy hat on it. You know how much I love horses. All that stuff was on the side of the house that reminded me of my mother’s house.

The other side with the office, kitchen, garage and service porch reminded me of my father’s house.

The part of the house that reminded me of me was this section of the office that had little girl stuff in it. There was an easel with all kinds of art supplies and a gang of stuffed animals. I have always slept with a big teddy bear, even as an adult. I only stopped because I didn’t want زوجي to feel neglected. It was hard for me to fall asleep for a while though.

So, I settled in, washed all my clothes, my shoes and my sleeping bag which were all drenched and covered in sand from my ordeal at the beach. It had been some years since I had used a home washer/dryer so I was a little annoyed at the hour and forty-five minutes it took to wash but my clothes came out so clean they were illuminating! Then I got angry at the laundrymats where the washers only run thirty minutes and your clothes don’t get that clean.

The owners only care about money. If it costs $2.00 to wash, they can make $6.00 in the time it takes a home washer to make $2.00. If they have a hundred machines they can make $600.00 as opposed to $200.00. They don’t care about quality of washing just about the Benjamins.

The bathrooms all had glass doors instead of shower curtains. And for me that is the test of whether or not the house is high class. Regular houses have shower curtains. Nice houses have glass doors.

There was a dusty Range Rover in the garage and a motorcycle. There was a pool, a Jacuzzi, a bench swing hanging from the trees and a hammock. But I spent all my time in the window seat overlooking the backyard. That’s where I took the picture. I saw a rabbit out there one day. They’re all over the neighborhood.

Image result for map of the southern california coast

You see that point sticking out into the water where it says “Malibu?” That is where I was. It’s called Point Dume. And it is arguably the most beautiful place in the world.

So الله had been told me to restart the blog but I hadn’t married زوجي yet and I was embarrassed. So even though the conditions were perfect for writing all I did for three days was look out the window and listen to music.

I had a bag of cherries, a mango and an apple but I knew I needed to go to the store and get some food. I think ابننا wanted to bring me some food. But I wanted to have food for him when he got there so I went to the store. I found out where I was when I got a chance to use Google maps so I wasn’t lost anymore. My phone had been dead before.

So, I think going outside changed something in me.

I hadn’t really been outside the whole time. I was scared to go out into the backyard because of the devil but going to the store made me feel like I should be able to go in the backyard too.

So when the devil had company over and they were having a picnic in “my” backyard, I started feeling possessive. Then one of them started doing laps in the pool and I wanted ابننا to be able to go swimming when he came over, so I walked out into the backyard while he was out there. 

I know, stupid. But I had been thinking about leaving anyway. I didn’t like the bed and although I wasn’t homeless, it wasn’t the home that I wanted. I mean, I liked it but it wasn’t perfect.

You know what? I’ve always felt like Brandy is my Doppelganger. When she first came out with “I Wanna Be Down”

And she was on the phone on the floor, I was like that is so me. I used to talk to زوجي like that when we were in High School. Then Moesha comes out and it’s set in Leimert. I always wanted to live in Leimert. 

I remember being in High School and we would drive by The Good Life and I could never go because we were on our way to church. SMH I couldn’t go to nothing no way.

So anyway, remember on Moesha and her father wanted to buy her a car but she was like “No thank-you. I want to by a car myself!” ???

That’s how I was with this house. It sounds so stupid but it’s that “I’ve got to be independent” attitude that many women have picked up. It could be a tad ungratefulness too. Because after awhile she did change her mind and I think I might have been better off if I still was in that house but because of the conditions that led me there, I’m not sure.

It could have been a trick of the devil because I don’t regret it. I just hate that I went to jail but I appreciate the time I spent there.

Anyway, I went out in the backyard and I wasn’t doing nothing but set tripping and eventually I felt like “Okay, I’m out here. Now what?” So I saw the bench swing and I love bench swings so I went and sat on it and when I tell you I was at peace, believe me. It was the most peaceful three seconds I have ever spent in my life. There was a cool breeze blowing through the grass and it felt amazing.

So the man had waved. I waved back. But when I sat on the swing, he went back into the house and I knew he was going to get the devil. And this was the second time that I felt fear of something more than I feared الله. The first time was the water. Maybe that is a lesson too. Because I’ve never feared anything other than الله my entire life.

So, I got scared and tried to hurry back into the house before she came out. But that backyard was big and I was right across from her – halfway to the house when she came out and waved. Then she said, “Are you looking for someone?” I said, “No.” I mean, what else was I supposed to say? She’s acting like she didn’t know I had been there for three days all of a sudden. I guess because I had done like Israel and tried to take over her land.

So, I go in the house and I’m thinking everything is cool. Then I hear her “Hello? Are you there?” And I didn’t know what to do. So I just didn’t say anything. Then I hear her and I knew she was on the phone telling somebody she didn’t know who I was and what I was doing in the house. She said to me (I was in the bedroom and she was talking to me from the door leading from the backyard into the house, so we can’t see each other) she was talking to the property manager and she was just doing her “role” and that the property manager was on her way and she was going to call the police.

So now I’m trying to find someplace to hide in the house. (I guess deep down I did want the house.)

Then I hear a man’s voice. I’m thinking it’s the po-pos so I come out of the closet and he says something like, “This is not going to end well for you” So I had all my stuff together in the event that something like this was going to happen. I grabbed my bag but my phone and laptop were charging in the living room.

So the devil man tells the devil woman to go around to the other side of the house so they could surround me. I grab my phone and charger out the wall outlet leaving the laptop. The five seconds it would have taken to grab the laptop would have been all the time they needed to trap me.

So, I just leave the house and start walking, plotting my next move. I decided to just catch the bus to the beach and go on like I had never been in the house. But when I turned around to catch one final glimpse of the ocean, I see the man is following me in a Porsche SUV and behind him is the neighborhood security.

But worse, he’s on the phone and I knew he could not be talking to anybody but the police.

Sure enough, I turn back around after taunting him for a few seconds walking backwards, and the pigs pull up right in front of me.

“Put your hands behind your back!”

Next thing I know I’m sitting in the back of a patrol car and everybody in the neighborhood is driving by. I even saw زوجي ride by in one of the golf carts everybody has up there. They use them to get to the beach. They don’t drive their regular cars. Everybody uses golf carts.

*Note – I finished the part that I wrote in jail. 

So, I’m thinking they’re going to take me to Santa Monica jail and I’m like cool. I get to see the coast on the way down and this is not going to be bad at all. But instead they took me to some jail I had never heard of called “Lost Hills” and we turned down this street I never liked the name “Kanan Dume.” It reminds me of Conan the Barbarian and I’ve never liked him. Berbers are North Africans for one, so they are BLACK and two the only reason the word Berber/Barbarian is associated with something savage is because they were trying to defend their land from white domination.

But anyway, we turn on this street and go up into the Santa Monica mountains. There is nothing but a two-way street going up and up and between all these “hills.” Before we got too deep into them, I turned around and saw The Pacific Ocean and it was so huge it looked “dreadful.” That is the word Our Beloved Messenger (May the peace and the blessings of Allah forever be upon him) used to describe The MotherPlane and that is the only word I can think of to describe how huge it looked.

So we get to the jail and it felt to me just like the first time I got arrested. I had the same uncooperative attitude I had when I first got arrested.

The first time I got arrested was for videotaping at the B-Boy Summit at UCLA. They said I had a warrant but police lie. They took me in anyway and I was spitting at the police and they put some type of mask over my mouth. But I’ve always been able to get out of restraints. But they took me to the station and back then they still used ink to fingerprint you and I had a little ink on my finger when I went back to my cell and I wrote “F&*% BABYLON” on my cell wall.

This time they don’t use ink but for some reason I did not want to be fingerprinted. I fought two female deputies when they tried to remove my jewelry. All of my jewelry is symbolic of something to me. So I was not giving it up without a fight.

They got my necklace and my bracelet but I kept the watch (the most important thing) and my ring (the second most important thing). It is hell being in jail and not knowing the time. There are no clocks and no windows so they only way you know the time of day is by the meal they give you. So I was very pleased I got to keep my watch.

Eventually they put me, handcuffed, back into a cell. That was very uncomfortable. I was handcuffed behind my back. In front is a lot better. So, I tried to lay down on the mat on the floor and get some rest. It was horrible so by morning I was ready to be fingerprinted.

They were courteous enough to call for a female deputy to do the work and then I was placed in another cell.

They arrested me on May 27th, so I spent Memorial Day weekend in jail.

On Tuesday, they took me to court to see the judge about violating my probation. The devils had not pressed charges! الله أكبر

But remember I got arrested when I went to Sony Pictures because I thought زوجي was there. Well I was supposed to go to court and never went. Then the time I first became homeless for trespassing at the house زوجي wanted for us. So I had two cases.

I went to see the judge but I was kind of having an episode, and because of my history of mental illness, I have to go to a special court to see if I’m competent enough to stand trial.

So, I went to the two courts but the court to see if I was competent wouldn’t be until the 20th! And it was like the third. I was deflated. My daughter’s birthday was the 31st. I had already missed hers. ابننا’s birthday was coming up on the sixth of June and mine is the nineteenth. So, I was going to spend all of our birthdays in jail!

That was a little disheartening even though I don’t celebrate birthdays.

Jail was cool. I had a little fun. The worst part was not being able to see the sun and birds and flowers.

I drew a big flag of Islam on my cell wall. If I had had any money on my books I would’ve bought some lipstick so I could have colored it in red.

My bunkies were cool. I got into a couple fights but it was a great experience because I’ve never been so embedded with nineties baby girls. They were so funny and cute.

Eventually, my court date came and I got “time served” for all charges and I was released the next day.

While I was in jail I had made plans for how I was going to spend my money when I got out. So, I got out, called ابننا and went to the ATM. To my surprise my bank account was empty.

I went to the Social Security office to see what was up. They had reevaluated my case and decided that I wasn’t disabled anymore so no more crazy check.

They told me I could appeal but I can’t take medication. The medication makes my symptoms worse.

So I was like cool. I’ll just have to live like I lived in New Orleans the first time I went there. Completely dependent on الله.

I found out later my food stamps had been cut off too.

Then I was SURE الله Willed that I live off the land.

But I went to the GR office and applied and attained relief and got my food stamps reinstated. So I have a little income. GR is $241 a month but it’s better than nothing. And my food stamps help. But I’m still homeless. It’s cool for now though. Allah is the Greatest. الله اكبر


Housewife? Me?

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

It’s funny, I never thought I would look at homemaking as not being enough for me.

But when you say “housewife” it sounds different.

I’ve always said I was a Homemaker because I wasn’t a housewife.

I always thought I did the same things though.

I think housewife is like a homemaker but you have a boss (your husband)

That makes it more difficult.

You have somebody to answer to whereas before I could do what I wanted when I wanted as long as it got done.

Homemaking/Housewifing is like a career. It takes up all your time.

I was just free to blog because I didn’t have a husband to look after. I guess the blog took up that space in my life.

So earlier when I realized I won’t be writing this blog once I get married, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is my career.

And all I ever talk about is how women need to give up their careers when they get married and focus on their husband and his clothes and food and house and children, but when it comes to actually DOING it it’s a whole different story.

I never realized it but this blog is my LIFE!

Ask my son.

Once I started, maybe it started with facebook. But I know I started spending a lot of time on the computer whereas before I didn’t.

I let the children influence me. THEY were always on the phone so I thought that was the thing to do.

So, I started finding stuff to do online.

Myspace not so much.

However, once I asked my daughter if she knew how to get in touch with me in case of an emergency and she said, “Myspace?” So maybe I was on it more than I realize.

My roommate is going to be 76 next month and her days consist of sitting in a chair, eating, using the bathroom and answering the door when one of us comes home. Nobody has a key and I think that’s why. Our landlord wants to give her something to do.

But that’s how I think my days will be if I stop blogging.

Twiddling my thumbs.

I see how Zawji is doing it. We’re speeding up though.

He got me off fliers just about a month ago. It was All-Star Weekend. It was a couple days before the game and I think the game was on the 18th, if I’m not mistaken. I can G it but it’s not that serious.

Point is, he’s speeding up.

Today is the 28th. Wow! I haven’t been to sleep but it’s just after twelve, so I can’t even say it’s the 27th. See what I’m sayin’?

One month and twelve days since I stopped spreading the blog.

Now I’m getting ready to stop blogging altogether.

I think he wants me to stop for awhile before we get together to get used to it.

He took my fliers before I knew I was ready.

I, virtually, had stopped making them and wasn’t really handing them out anyway.

I was just making them to practice writing with my right hand and was about to start back passing them out and accidentally left them on a bench, I think.

Benches are very significant to me and Zawji.

We walk alot and go to parks and there are always benches.

We have always sat on benches.

He has a bench swing in his downtown loft which is perfect for us.

You know how I love to swing and a bench would seat both of us together.

I can’t wait.

This house he wanted to give me had a bench in the backyard. But the swing is better.

But anyway, I accidentally, left the bag of fliers on the bench. I think.

And haven’t made another one since.

As much as I talk about homemaking, I never knew I was a career woman.

Until I was thinking about actually stopping blogging.

Then the word Career popped into my mind and Giving it up too

And it hit me really hard.

I’m changing directions.

I think about the two Angels who rented me this place.

She just came out to meet me and convince me to take it

BUT he does all the work.

I think about helping other women.

Sometimes it takes a woman to help a woman.

We can have been really abused by men and are skeptical of their help so Allah sends us female Angels to do the job of raising up us into Angels to marry an Angel.

I know I have raised some women into Angels with this blog










So, I’m going to try and make this my last blog, Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black People.

You know how my life is though. I said I’m going to TRY.

See how it feels to not have a blog anymore.

I mean it’s still mine technically.

I might even still pay to keep the ads off for awhile.

Maybe I’ll nah, that’s too much like a career.

I was going to say publish it into a hardcopy but that’s work and the point is to give up working and focus on Zawji completely.

So, if this and I think it is, my last blog,

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. I’m sorry you won’t be privy to the affairs of my life anymore. Just know that I married Zawji and we lived happily ever after.

Basketball & Love

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

So, I just watched it again.

I took my daughter to see it when it first came out – before I became Muslim. Muslims don’t go to the devils’ shows.

But I just watched it on YouTube and I remember thinking awhile back – after I became Muslim – that it seemed so BACKWARDS when at the end of the movie SHE was on the basketball court and HE was sitting on the sideline with the baby.

I know it’s not just me anymore, because I’ve seen so much progress, but doesn’t that seem so backwards! He should be on the court – if anybody’s going to be playing professional basketball – and SHE should be on the sidelines – like he said in the beginning – cheering him on with the baby.

But that’s America.

Another thing I really didn’t like was how unappreciative she was of her mother’s love for her father.

The first time I watched it, it’s obvious when he comes in and asks his wife to iron both his shirts for him. I’m not even going to mention how she was already slacking because they should not even have been in the closet if they weren’t ironed already.

But Monica seemed embarrassed that her mother was ironing her father’s shirts!

Then to top it off, when they do finally discuss how Monica felt about her mother being a housewife, her mother doesn’t defend herself by telling her daughter how much she loves her father and that she would do anything to make him happy – she starts talking about how she “gave up on her dreams because she got pregnant!!!!!!”

I mean really, can’t a woman love her husband so much that she is happy taking care of him. Why we gotta have a side hustle??? (the origin of that phrase was a topic on Merriam-Webster.com today so sorry not sorry just seemed to fit. 😉 ) Why can’t we just be happy cooking and cleaning and doing our husband’s laundry and making sure his children always have homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk after school??? Why we gotta have some kinda career too??? SMH

I mean Heaven for a woman should be making Heaven for her husband.

Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) said “A woman is the only heaven a man has.

Why is this not enough for some of us?

Heaven is a way of life. And your home should be Heaven for your family. It is a woman’s responsibility to be her husband’s Heaven. When you have knowledge of self it makes you happy to do these things for him. Especially when he is providing you with a big house in Baldwin Hills. 😉

She should have taught her daughters how to be happy being housewives. I mean the older daughter seemed to get it and some people are just cut from a different cloth but she should not have let her youngest daughter play with boys to begin with. Then she wouldn’t have gotten that cut on her face.


I love to play basketball too but now that I’m a Muslim, I understand that sport and play are only for exercise and to learn the value of teamwork.

I would never play in front of strange men out in the public but get me in a girls’ gym and I will show you I got game.

Her mistake was putting basketball in front of the needs of her man and she paid dearly for it. She lost him. She got him back but not until she stopped playing. Then they had her playing again because the WNBA was new back then and I think that was the whole reason for the movie in the first play tbh.

I know why I had to watch this movie though. Zawji wanted me to see I should never put anything before him. Especially not this blog.

I didn’t even know I was doing it. He said that was why I came to New Orleans prematurely. To spread the blog. And now I realize it’s true. Because people in L.A. were telling me I had already given them a flier and that had never happened before and when I got to NO that’s all I was doing – spreading the blog.

I can’t remember the last time I gave out a flier.

Ironically, I lost the bag that I had them all in a while back and I knew that means it’s time out for handing out fliers. I never said anything about it because it didn’t seem like a big deal. I guess it was pretty mager though.

I’ve been handing out fliers since about 2013 I guess. Four years of doing something becomes more than a habit. It’s a way of life.

But when you get married, your spouse becomes your way of life at least for women. Men have businesses that they have to think about too. But women, our whole LIFE should be about our husband and making his home Heaven. Maybe that’s why WIFE sounds so much like LIFE. You’re a W-oman whose L-ife is dedicated to her husband = Wife.

I don’t know what else to do but write right now. I really don’t have anything ELSE to do. I think he’s weaning me off of writing. Because I’ve stopped spreading the blog. Every now and then he will tell me to tell someone about it but I don’t hand out fliers anymore.

I have the Sweetest Most Beneficent and Merciful Zawji in the Universe. He makes everything easy for me and does things in the Best Possible Way.

Funny, I just felt like making fliers. I haven’t felt like that since about last year. I used to sit up all night making fliers. I don’t sleep much anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. I guess that was like my career – spreading the blog. I’m having a hard time. Realizing I’m actually giving it up. I guess deep down I thought I would pick it up again. But Zawji says I’m retired. I’m hanging up my Chux. Literally. I wear Vans now. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky that you’ve found out about my blog. If anybody else finds out about it it won’t be because they got a flier from me. That makes me kinda sad. I feel like it’s the end of an era. Like Kobe retiring. I wonder what he’s doing nowadays. I wonder if he still plays. I mean I’m sure he has a gym on his property but how often does he go out there and shoot-around? He should coach or something. Maybe be an announcer – SOMETHING! Okay, I just G’d Kobe Bryant and this is what he’s doing. I’m a little disappointed because I’m living in the Hereafter where there are nothing but light musings and the Black Mamba seems more focused on the negative. :/ I wouldn’t even have talked about it except to say don’t even think about it. 🙂 And this is for children! I would tell children. Your thoughts determine your reality. Just think positive all the time. I like Shaq’s “TWISM” doctrine better. Don’t worry! Be Happy!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’ve kept a journal all my life. That’s all this is now. Just my diary. It’s just public now.

That will stop too once I start living the life of a real housewife. Maybe.

I’m just going to have to budget my writing time. We can be like Shelby and whatever her name was and I can write while Zawji cooks. Ah I’m feeling stress. I like to write when I like to write and that can be any time of the day or night. I guess that’s why we’re not together yet.

Someone told me I have this to do and that’s why we couldn’t be together. That was somewhat of a shock to me but it was true. I wanted to be with a lot of brothers but after a while I started spreading the blog again. And then problems arose.

I guess that’s why Zawji had me stop spreading the blog before we get together so it won’t be a problem later. He says writing the blog is not a problem. It was the spreading the blog because I had to be out too much. He says it wasn’t even the talking to Brothers – not with him – because he’s secure. It’s just that I’m supposed to be in the house.

Now, that I’m climbing out of the homeless dugout, I’m spending more time at home. I just go to certain events and that’s only every once in a while. I used to go to the library everyday. I take walks every now and then but I’m not out in the street all day.

I even made some bean soup ON THE STOVE!!!!

I’ve never done that in my life!!! It came out really good too. The beans taste creamier than in the Crock Pot. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t had any bean soup since last September. Wow! It seems like at least a year. It wasn’t as bad as people make it seem. I didn’t even have to add any more water. I did watch it like a hawk though. And, I didn’t even have to do all that. But I wanted it to come out good.

Anyway, I think I’m getting myself ready to stop blogging.

That means you gotta get ready too.

I remember when Living Single was talking about going off the air and everybody protested so they kept it on but it was boo-boo.

I can’t go out like that.

You gotta know when to hang up your Chux and retire.

But let me go back to this movie.

I have to say something about Q’s mother.

I knew she wasn’t right when his father said she tricked him into thinking she could bake with the old “fake n bake” acting like she baked that cake. I mean really! How hard is it to bake a cake. Even some little girl baked my son a cake for his birthday and she was like 13! That’s just lazy and deceptive and she got everything she deserved when she couldn’t keep him in the house with her. He didn’t want her. She tricked him into marrying her and she had the type of marriage that results from trickery.

Don’t ever do that Sisters.

This Brother told me about a Sister who did some voodou to keep him coming around and he said he hated every minute of it. He ended up finding out about what she did and fixed it and freed himself. But Sisters, if a man doesn’t want you at the moment, if it’s meant to be it will. Just be patient.

Don’t trap him into something he’s not ready for.

A lot of times Sisters get pregnant and the Brother feels obligated to do the right thing but that should not be the reason you get married. That’s what happened to my parents and I guess I should be glad they got married, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but don’t have sex before you get married.

Do everything the right way. COURT. Don’t have boyfriends and girlfriends. It makes everything so right and exact. You won’t have to trap him because he wouldn’t be courting you if he doesn’t want to marry you.

And if the Brother you want doesn’t seem interested pray and ask Allah if he is the one. If Allah Says yes, be patient and keep chaste. He WILL Come Around.

My life bears witness and we’re not there yet but soon come. 😀