Housewife? Me?

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

It’s funny, I never thought I would look at homemaking as not being enough for me.

But when you say “housewife” it sounds different.

I’ve always said I was a Homemaker because I wasn’t a housewife.

I always thought I did the same things though.

I think housewife is like a homemaker but you have a boss (your husband)

That makes it more difficult.

You have somebody to answer to whereas before I could do what I wanted when I wanted as long as it got done.

Homemaking/Housewifing is like a career. It takes up all your time.

I was just free to blog because I didn’t have a husband to look after. I guess the blog took up that space in my life.

So earlier when I realized I won’t be writing this blog once I get married, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is my career.

And all I ever talk about is how women need to give up their careers when they get married and focus on their husband and his clothes and food and house and children, but when it comes to actually DOING it it’s a whole different story.

I never realized it but this blog is my LIFE!

Ask my son.

Once I started, maybe it started with facebook. But I know I started spending a lot of time on the computer whereas before I didn’t.

I let the children influence me. THEY were always on the phone so I thought that was the thing to do.

So, I started finding stuff to do online.

Myspace not so much.

However, once I asked my daughter if she knew how to get in touch with me in case of an emergency and she said, “Myspace?” So maybe I was on it more than I realize.

My roommate is going to be 76 next month and her days consist of sitting in a chair, eating, using the bathroom and answering the door when one of us comes home. Nobody has a key and I think that’s why. Our landlord wants to give her something to do.

But that’s how I think my days will be if I stop blogging.

Twiddling my thumbs.

I see how Zawji is doing it. We’re speeding up though.

He got me off fliers just about a month ago. It was All-Star Weekend. It was a couple days before the game and I think the game was on the 18th, if I’m not mistaken. I can G it but it’s not that serious.

Point is, he’s speeding up.

Today is the 28th. Wow! I haven’t been to sleep but it’s just after twelve, so I can’t even say it’s the 27th. See what I’m sayin’?

One month and twelve days since I stopped spreading the blog.

Now I’m getting ready to stop blogging altogether.

I think he wants me to stop for awhile before we get together to get used to it.

He took my fliers before I knew I was ready.

I, virtually, had stopped making them and wasn’t really handing them out anyway.

I was just making them to practice writing with my right hand and was about to start back passing them out and accidentally left them on a bench, I think.

Benches are very significant to me and Zawji.

We walk alot and go to parks and there are always benches.

We have always sat on benches.

He has a bench swing in his downtown loft which is perfect for us.

You know how I love to swing and a bench would seat both of us together.

I can’t wait.

This house he wanted to give me had a bench in the backyard. But the swing is better.

But anyway, I accidentally, left the bag of fliers on the bench. I think.

And haven’t made another one since.

As much as I talk about homemaking, I never knew I was a career woman.

Until I was thinking about actually stopping blogging.

Then the word Career popped into my mind and Giving it up too

And it hit me really hard.

I’m changing directions.

I think about the two Angels who rented me this place.

She just came out to meet me and convince me to take it

BUT he does all the work.

I think about helping other women.

Sometimes it takes a woman to help a woman.

We can have been really abused by men and are skeptical of their help so Allah sends us female Angels to do the job of raising up us into Angels to marry an Angel.

I know I have raised some women into Angels with this blog

AND

I

REALLY

THINK

MY

WORK

IS

DONE

.

So, I’m going to try and make this my last blog, Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black People.

You know how my life is though. I said I’m going to TRY.

See how it feels to not have a blog anymore.

I mean it’s still mine technically.

I might even still pay to keep the ads off for awhile.

Maybe I’ll nah, that’s too much like a career.

I was going to say publish it into a hardcopy but that’s work and the point is to give up working and focus on Zawji completely.

So, if this and I think it is, my last blog,

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. I’m sorry you won’t be privy to the affairs of my life anymore. Just know that I married Zawji and we lived happily ever after.

Basketball & Love

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

So, I just watched it again.

I took my daughter to see it when it first came out – before I became Muslim. Muslims don’t go to the devils’ shows.

But I just watched it on YouTube and I remember thinking awhile back – after I became Muslim – that it seemed so BACKWARDS when at the end of the movie SHE was on the basketball court and HE was sitting on the sideline with the baby.

I know it’s not just me anymore, because I’ve seen so much progress, but doesn’t that seem so backwards! He should be on the court – if anybody’s going to be playing professional basketball – and SHE should be on the sidelines – like he said in the beginning – cheering him on with the baby.

But that’s America.

Another thing I really didn’t like was how unappreciative she was of her mother’s love for her father.

The first time I watched it, it’s obvious when he comes in and asks his wife to iron both his shirts for him. I’m not even going to mention how she was already slacking because they should not even have been in the closet if they weren’t ironed already.

But Monica seemed embarrassed that her mother was ironing her father’s shirts!

Then to top it off, when they do finally discuss how Monica felt about her mother being a housewife, her mother doesn’t defend herself by telling her daughter how much she loves her father and that she would do anything to make him happy – she starts talking about how she “gave up on her dreams because she got pregnant!!!!!!”

I mean really, can’t a woman love her husband so much that she is happy taking care of him. Why we gotta have a side hustle??? (the origin of that phrase was a topic on Merriam-Webster.com today so sorry not sorry just seemed to fit. 😉 ) Why can’t we just be happy cooking and cleaning and doing our husband’s laundry and making sure his children always have homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk after school??? Why we gotta have some kinda career too??? SMH

I mean Heaven for a woman should be making Heaven for her husband.

Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) said “A woman is the only heaven a man has.

Why is this not enough for some of us?

Heaven is a way of life. And your home should be Heaven for your family. It is a woman’s responsibility to be her husband’s Heaven. When you have knowledge of self it makes you happy to do these things for him. Especially when he is providing you with a big house in Baldwin Hills. 😉

She should have taught her daughters how to be happy being housewives. I mean the older daughter seemed to get it and some people are just cut from a different cloth but she should not have let her youngest daughter play with boys to begin with. Then she wouldn’t have gotten that cut on her face.

BALANCE

I love to play basketball too but now that I’m a Muslim, I understand that sport and play are only for exercise and to learn the value of teamwork.

I would never play in front of strange men out in the public but get me in a girls’ gym and I will show you I got game.

Her mistake was putting basketball in front of the needs of her man and she paid dearly for it. She lost him. She got him back but not until she stopped playing. Then they had her playing again because the WNBA was new back then and I think that was the whole reason for the movie in the first play tbh.

I know why I had to watch this movie though. Zawji wanted me to see I should never put anything before him. Especially not this blog.

I didn’t even know I was doing it. He said that was why I came to New Orleans prematurely. To spread the blog. And now I realize it’s true. Because people in L.A. were telling me I had already given them a flier and that had never happened before and when I got to NO that’s all I was doing – spreading the blog.

I can’t remember the last time I gave out a flier.

Ironically, I lost the bag that I had them all in a while back and I knew that means it’s time out for handing out fliers. I never said anything about it because it didn’t seem like a big deal. I guess it was pretty mager though.

I’ve been handing out fliers since about 2013 I guess. Four years of doing something becomes more than a habit. It’s a way of life.

But when you get married, your spouse becomes your way of life at least for women. Men have businesses that they have to think about too. But women, our whole LIFE should be about our husband and making his home Heaven. Maybe that’s why WIFE sounds so much like LIFE. You’re a W-oman whose L-ife is dedicated to her husband = Wife.

I don’t know what else to do but write right now. I really don’t have anything ELSE to do. I think he’s weaning me off of writing. Because I’ve stopped spreading the blog. Every now and then he will tell me to tell someone about it but I don’t hand out fliers anymore.

I have the Sweetest Most Beneficent and Merciful Zawji in the Universe. He makes everything easy for me and does things in the Best Possible Way.

Funny, I just felt like making fliers. I haven’t felt like that since about last year. I used to sit up all night making fliers. I don’t sleep much anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. I guess that was like my career – spreading the blog. I’m having a hard time. Realizing I’m actually giving it up. I guess deep down I thought I would pick it up again. But Zawji says I’m retired. I’m hanging up my Chux. Literally. I wear Vans now. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky that you’ve found out about my blog. If anybody else finds out about it it won’t be because they got a flier from me. That makes me kinda sad. I feel like it’s the end of an era. Like Kobe retiring. I wonder what he’s doing nowadays. I wonder if he still plays. I mean I’m sure he has a gym on his property but how often does he go out there and shoot-around? He should coach or something. Maybe be an announcer – SOMETHING! Okay, I just G’d Kobe Bryant and this is what he’s doing. I’m a little disappointed because I’m living in the Hereafter where there are nothing but light musings and the Black Mamba seems more focused on the negative. :/ I wouldn’t even have talked about it except to say don’t even think about it. 🙂 And this is for children! I would tell children. Your thoughts determine your reality. Just think positive all the time. I like Shaq’s “TWISM” doctrine better. Don’t worry! Be Happy!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’ve kept a journal all my life. That’s all this is now. Just my diary. It’s just public now.

That will stop too once I start living the life of a real housewife. Maybe.

I’m just going to have to budget my writing time. We can be like Shelby and whatever her name was and I can write while Zawji cooks. Ah I’m feeling stress. I like to write when I like to write and that can be any time of the day or night. I guess that’s why we’re not together yet.

Someone told me I have this to do and that’s why we couldn’t be together. That was somewhat of a shock to me but it was true. I wanted to be with a lot of brothers but after a while I started spreading the blog again. And then problems arose.

I guess that’s why Zawji had me stop spreading the blog before we get together so it won’t be a problem later. He says writing the blog is not a problem. It was the spreading the blog because I had to be out too much. He says it wasn’t even the talking to Brothers – not with him – because he’s secure. It’s just that I’m supposed to be in the house.

Now, that I’m climbing out of the homeless dugout, I’m spending more time at home. I just go to certain events and that’s only every once in a while. I used to go to the library everyday. I take walks every now and then but I’m not out in the street all day.

I even made some bean soup ON THE STOVE!!!!

I’ve never done that in my life!!! It came out really good too. The beans taste creamier than in the Crock Pot. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t had any bean soup since last September. Wow! It seems like at least a year. It wasn’t as bad as people make it seem. I didn’t even have to add any more water. I did watch it like a hawk though. And, I didn’t even have to do all that. But I wanted it to come out good.

Anyway, I think I’m getting myself ready to stop blogging.

That means you gotta get ready too.

I remember when Living Single was talking about going off the air and everybody protested so they kept it on but it was boo-boo.

I can’t go out like that.

You gotta know when to hang up your Chux and retire.

But let me go back to this movie.

I have to say something about Q’s mother.

I knew she wasn’t right when his father said she tricked him into thinking she could bake with the old “fake n bake” acting like she baked that cake. I mean really! How hard is it to bake a cake. Even some little girl baked my son a cake for his birthday and she was like 13! That’s just lazy and deceptive and she got everything she deserved when she couldn’t keep him in the house with her. He didn’t want her. She tricked him into marrying her and she had the type of marriage that results from trickery.

Don’t ever do that Sisters.

This Brother told me about a Sister who did some voodou to keep him coming around and he said he hated every minute of it. He ended up finding out about what she did and fixed it and freed himself. But Sisters, if a man doesn’t want you at the moment, if it’s meant to be it will. Just be patient.

Don’t trap him into something he’s not ready for.

A lot of times Sisters get pregnant and the Brother feels obligated to do the right thing but that should not be the reason you get married. That’s what happened to my parents and I guess I should be glad they got married, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but don’t have sex before you get married.

Do everything the right way. COURT. Don’t have boyfriends and girlfriends. It makes everything so right and exact. You won’t have to trap him because he wouldn’t be courting you if he doesn’t want to marry you.

And if the Brother you want doesn’t seem interested pray and ask Allah if he is the one. If Allah Says yes, be patient and keep chaste. He WILL Come Around.

My life bears witness and we’re not there yet but soon come. 😀

A Dream… A Simple Fantasy…

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

This was the song everybody who thought they could sing would sing back in the day LOL

Twelve-years-old singing about lost love. SMH

Foreshadowing though. I learned about that when I was twelve too.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Anyway, I just had a dream that was a Matrix. It was real. Zawji fixed it so I didn’t die.

I saw Ivan on the train (always traveling). He had a girlfriend. She tried to give him her Day Pass but the jerk train driver was hating like the ones out here. I will never understand why they are such jerks especially considering how much money these tourists pay to ride the streetcar. That St. Charles is always so packed, I rather take the bus. Those tourists pay enough so that every local should be able to ride free but the drivers are such jerks, they will stop the bus/train until you get off if you are a penny short. I can only narrow it down to the fact that Southern Blacks are just in love with the slavemaster. *sigh*

Anyway, he paid and got on and knew everybody on the train. We were all into music in some way or another. I asked him how was his father although I’ve never met his father. I just know he’s a Junior and that Ivan, Sr. is a musician.

Hey, I have a cousin who named her son Ivan and he is a Junior!

So, the train is going and it’s supposed to be somewhere near the Fox Hills Mall or whatever they changed the name to, and as we near I notice there is a construction truck out of control near the train tracks. So the train driver starts going fast trying to get past the out of control truck while it was out of the way but the truck had messed up the track already and I found out later we crashed and I died, but Zawji changed the Matrix so that it just skipped and everybody was off the train and I started running up the hill to get away from the out of control truck. And everybody who was previously watching the out-of-control truck decided to do like me and run for their own lives. I guess they never considered the truck could come their way.

I took off my backpack so that I could run faster.

I didn’t even worry about it. Sacrifice.

Sometimes people carry bags to symbolize people they’re not with. This bag was white and blue and I guess symbolized Zawji. That’s why I wasn’t worried about it because it was supposed to be Black.

I always carry a Black bag. I think that’s a little Bohemian in me…

So, I didn’t die.

But I got visited by two female Angels in real life.

Some wicked old witch told me Angels can’t be females.

But we have to have female Angels. Otherwise, who are the male Angels going to marry???

One of the Angels told me to “Keep the Faith” and that I am a Beautiful Person.

I didn’t really pay attention to the Beautiful Person part right away. It’s hard to accept compliments sometimes. But Brother Bill said if you are going to be famous you have to be able to accept a lot of compliments or something like that.

So the Second Angel told me to “STAY STRONG”

Zawji and I came really close to getting together in this dream but I messed up as usual.

WE have to be one hundred per cent Right and Exact. So, the Angels advice really came in handy.

I was at somebody’s house oh, my friend who doesn’t have any children in real life, had a baby and the baby was in a terrible condition. She wanted to wash her face and my friend was too lazy to wash the baby’s face. Wait a minute, that was another dream.

This dream I was at a party and all the people from the train were there but my Best Friend Erika was there too and Bill Nunn, but he was Zawji’s Best Friend in the dream, which is crazy because Brother Bill is dead in real life but in the dream, no it wasn’t Bill Nunn it was one of his Doppelgangers, I think. But anyway, he was young like Radio Rahim and he was Zawji’s Best Friends.

WE were at some type of radio station and there was music everywhere. There were some homosexuals there too though. They were sickening. Jamie Foxx had a show and I told him to play California Here I Come by Ray Charles. He played it.

So, the homosexuals messed it up for me.

There was some type of movie playing but it was like we were in it even though it was about a white family on some deserted vacation beach.

So anyway, they showed me I messed up using my friend Tracy Jones (yes, the actress – maybe that’s why they used her LOL). I ended up getting distracted by another man, right when Zawji was going to surprise and propose to me.

So, we’ve got to try again.

I decided to just stay where I am.

I mean, I’m always so quick to run from a situation. I’m trying to learn how to just wait on Zawji. I’m so used to doing everything and making stuff happen.

I run when I don’t have anything else to do. My son didn’t call me Impatientifah for nothing. But I think I’m just going to stay put for once.

That means I can’t buy my son his Alligator stuff. Not yet anyway. Whenever I get too much money I start buying clothes. But this time I’m going to pay rent and try and keep a roof over my head.

This is supposed to be a fresh start for me so I’ve got to keep going. I am going to try to keep going forward and not backwards (homeless)

Progress

Old Brazilian Freak

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

Oh My God.

Why did I finally go see the spot the lady was trying to rent to me and got totally freaked out.

Okay, when I got there I wasn’t sure how to get in so I called her and asked her to come to the door (wherever it was).

So, I see the screen door on the side of the house open behind the wooden gate and went nearer to it so I could be let in.

Why did this old freak open the wooden gate and all she had on was a short pink bathrobe???

I was like, “This how ya’ll do in Brazil?

She was like, (in a thick Portuguese accent) “Well, I was home and I wasn’t doing nothing so I didn’t see any need to get dressed.

I’m thinking, Even though we just arranged for me to come see your spot?

Old Freak

So, that’s the main reason I’m not taking it but let me show you what it was like

She had birds, fish and two dogs.

Now, I like animals too but there’s a place for them.

My accommodations were just like in the video. Very dirty.

The floor was shiny and smooth cement. I was pretty but not cozy like a home is supposed to be. It was more like a community center floor.

When she said it was a garage, she wasn’t kidding. But I was thinking a clean garage. She had stuff EVERYWHERE, kids bikes, Christmas decorations and all kinds of stuff EVERYWHERE. It was filthy. I couldn’t believe she was actually renting it out. $300 is expensive for something like that but it’s New Orleans. Everywhere in New Orleans is overpriced.

I know I told you already the houses in New Orleans are built so that you have to go through everybody’s room to get to the kitchen and the bathroom, so I would have had to go through this little old lady freak’s room to go take a shower and cook.

Granted there was a powder room but I already told you how religious it is for me to make ablutions.

THEN when she was showing me the room, she said that the bed was really soft and comfortable so I went and tested it with my hand first, then sat down.

Why did this little old freak come and sit down next to me on the bed???

Now, I’m from the society of TRAVELERS where everybody has been to jail and that is something you just do not do!!!

I got the hell out of there after that.

Remember I said it would have to be pretty bad for me to say no because I’ve slept in a horse stable.

The only thing better about this place was that it had plumbing.

But plumbing isn’t everything.

I would rather be homeless than live in that type of wicked environment.

And she has grandchildren!!! SMH

So, I don’t’ remember where I was going last time I wrote, but it looks like California Here I Come

THE PARABLE OF THE SOWER

Matthew
Chapter 13

1 The same day went Jesus out of the house, and sat by the sea side.

2 And great multitudes were gathered together unto him, so that he went into a ship, and sat; and the whole multitude stood on the shore.

3 And he spake many things unto them in parables, saying, Behold, a sower went forth to sow;

 4 And when he sowed, some seeds fell by the way side, and the fowls came and devoured them up:

5 Some fell upon stony places, where they had not much earth: and forthwith they sprung up, because they had no deepness of earth:

6 And when the sun was up, they were scorched; and because they had no root, they withered away.

7 And some fell among thorns; and the thorns sprung up, and choked them:

8 But other fell into good ground, and brought forth fruit, some an hundredfold, some sixtyfold, some thirtyfold.

9 Who hath ears to hear, let him hear.

10 And the disciples came, and said unto him, Why speakest thou unto them in parables?

11 He answered and said unto them, Because it is given unto you to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it is not given.

12 For whosoever hath, to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not, from him shall be taken away even that he hath.

13 Therefore speak I to them in parables: because they seeing see not; and hearing they hear not, neither do they understand.

14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand; and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive:

15 For this people’s heart is waxed gross, and their ears are dull of hearing, and their eyes they have closed; lest at any time they should see with their eyes, and hear with their ears, and should understand with their heart, and should be converted, and I should heal them.

16 But blessed are your eyes, for they see: and your ears, for they hear.

17 For verily I say unto you, That many prophets and righteous men have desired to see those things which ye see, and have not seen them; and to hear those things which ye hear, and have not heard them.

18 Hear ye therefore the parable of the sower.

19 When any one heareth the word of the kingdom, and understandeth it not, then cometh the wicked one, and catcheth away that which was sown in his heart. This is he which received seed by the way side.

20 But he that received the seed into stony places, the same is he that heareth the word, and anon with joy receiveth it;

21 Yet hath he not root in himself, but dureth for a while: for when tribulation or persecution ariseth because of the word, by and by he is offended.

22 He also that received seed among the thorns is he that heareth the word; and the care of this world, and the deceitfulness of riches, choke the word, and he becometh unfruitful.

23 But he that received seed into the good ground is he that heareth the word, and understandeth it; which also beareth fruit, and bringeth forth, some an hundredfold, some sixty, some thirty.

صدق الله العظيم