Basketball & Love

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

So, I just watched it again.

I took my daughter to see it when it first came out – before I became Muslim. Muslims don’t go to the devils’ shows.

But I just watched it on YouTube and I remember thinking awhile back – after I became Muslim – that it seemed so BACKWARDS when at the end of the movie SHE was on the basketball court and HE was sitting on the sideline with the baby.

I know it’s not just me anymore, because I’ve seen so much progress, but doesn’t that seem so backwards! He should be on the court – if anybody’s going to be playing professional basketball – and SHE should be on the sidelines – like he said in the beginning – cheering him on with the baby.

But that’s America.

Another thing I really didn’t like was how unappreciative she was of her mother’s love for her father.

The first time I watched it, it’s obvious when he comes in and asks his wife to iron both his shirts for him. I’m not even going to mention how she was already slacking because they should not even have been in the closet if they weren’t ironed already.

But Monica seemed embarrassed that her mother was ironing her father’s shirts!

Then to top it off, when they do finally discuss how Monica felt about her mother being a housewife, her mother doesn’t defend herself by telling her daughter how much she loves her father and that she would do anything to make him happy – she starts talking about how she “gave up on her dreams because she got pregnant!!!!!!”

I mean really, can’t a woman love her husband so much that she is happy taking care of him. Why we gotta have a side hustle??? (the origin of that phrase was a topic on today so sorry not sorry just seemed to fit. 😉 ) Why can’t we just be happy cooking and cleaning and doing our husband’s laundry and making sure his children always have homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk after school??? Why we gotta have some kinda career too??? SMH

I mean Heaven for a woman should be making Heaven for her husband.

Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) said “A woman is the only heaven a man has.

Why is this not enough for some of us?

Heaven is a way of life. And your home should be Heaven for your family. It is a woman’s responsibility to be her husband’s Heaven. When you have knowledge of self it makes you happy to do these things for him. Especially when he is providing you with a big house in Baldwin Hills. 😉

She should have taught her daughters how to be happy being housewives. I mean the older daughter seemed to get it and some people are just cut from a different cloth but she should not have let her youngest daughter play with boys to begin with. Then she wouldn’t have gotten that cut on her face.


I love to play basketball too but now that I’m a Muslim, I understand that sport and play are only for exercise and to learn the value of teamwork.

I would never play in front of strange men out in the public but get me in a girls’ gym and I will show you I got game.

Her mistake was putting basketball in front of the needs of her man and she paid dearly for it. She lost him. She got him back but not until she stopped playing. Then they had her playing again because the WNBA was new back then and I think that was the whole reason for the movie in the first play tbh.

I know why I had to watch this movie though. Zawji wanted me to see I should never put anything before him. Especially not this blog.

I didn’t even know I was doing it. He said that was why I came to New Orleans prematurely. To spread the blog. And now I realize it’s true. Because people in L.A. were telling me I had already given them a flier and that had never happened before and when I got to NO that’s all I was doing – spreading the blog.

I can’t remember the last time I gave out a flier.

Ironically, I lost the bag that I had them all in a while back and I knew that means it’s time out for handing out fliers. I never said anything about it because it didn’t seem like a big deal. I guess it was pretty mager though.

I’ve been handing out fliers since about 2013 I guess. Four years of doing something becomes more than a habit. It’s a way of life.

But when you get married, your spouse becomes your way of life at least for women. Men have businesses that they have to think about too. But women, our whole LIFE should be about our husband and making his home Heaven. Maybe that’s why WIFE sounds so much like LIFE. You’re a W-oman whose L-ife is dedicated to her husband = Wife.

I don’t know what else to do but write right now. I really don’t have anything ELSE to do. I think he’s weaning me off of writing. Because I’ve stopped spreading the blog. Every now and then he will tell me to tell someone about it but I don’t hand out fliers anymore.

I have the Sweetest Most Beneficent and Merciful Zawji in the Universe. He makes everything easy for me and does things in the Best Possible Way.

Funny, I just felt like making fliers. I haven’t felt like that since about last year. I used to sit up all night making fliers. I don’t sleep much anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. I guess that was like my career – spreading the blog. I’m having a hard time. Realizing I’m actually giving it up. I guess deep down I thought I would pick it up again. But Zawji says I’m retired. I’m hanging up my Chux. Literally. I wear Vans now. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky that you’ve found out about my blog. If anybody else finds out about it it won’t be because they got a flier from me. That makes me kinda sad. I feel like it’s the end of an era. Like Kobe retiring. I wonder what he’s doing nowadays. I wonder if he still plays. I mean I’m sure he has a gym on his property but how often does he go out there and shoot-around? He should coach or something. Maybe be an announcer – SOMETHING! Okay, I just G’d Kobe Bryant and this is what he’s doing. I’m a little disappointed because I’m living in the Hereafter where there are nothing but light musings and the Black Mamba seems more focused on the negative. :/ I wouldn’t even have talked about it except to say don’t even think about it. 🙂 And this is for children! I would tell children. Your thoughts determine your reality. Just think positive all the time. I like Shaq’s “TWISM” doctrine better. Don’t worry! Be Happy!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’ve kept a journal all my life. That’s all this is now. Just my diary. It’s just public now.

That will stop too once I start living the life of a real housewife. Maybe.

I’m just going to have to budget my writing time. We can be like Shelby and whatever her name was and I can write while Zawji cooks. Ah I’m feeling stress. I like to write when I like to write and that can be any time of the day or night. I guess that’s why we’re not together yet.

Someone told me I have this to do and that’s why we couldn’t be together. That was somewhat of a shock to me but it was true. I wanted to be with a lot of brothers but after a while I started spreading the blog again. And then problems arose.

I guess that’s why Zawji had me stop spreading the blog before we get together so it won’t be a problem later. He says writing the blog is not a problem. It was the spreading the blog because I had to be out too much. He says it wasn’t even the talking to Brothers – not with him – because he’s secure. It’s just that I’m supposed to be in the house.

Now, that I’m climbing out of the homeless dugout, I’m spending more time at home. I just go to certain events and that’s only every once in a while. I used to go to the library everyday. I take walks every now and then but I’m not out in the street all day.

I even made some bean soup ON THE STOVE!!!!

I’ve never done that in my life!!! It came out really good too. The beans taste creamier than in the Crock Pot. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t had any bean soup since last September. Wow! It seems like at least a year. It wasn’t as bad as people make it seem. I didn’t even have to add any more water. I did watch it like a hawk though. And, I didn’t even have to do all that. But I wanted it to come out good.

Anyway, I think I’m getting myself ready to stop blogging.

That means you gotta get ready too.

I remember when Living Single was talking about going off the air and everybody protested so they kept it on but it was boo-boo.

I can’t go out like that.

You gotta know when to hang up your Chux and retire.

But let me go back to this movie.

I have to say something about Q’s mother.

I knew she wasn’t right when his father said she tricked him into thinking she could bake with the old “fake n bake” acting like she baked that cake. I mean really! How hard is it to bake a cake. Even some little girl baked my son a cake for his birthday and she was like 13! That’s just lazy and deceptive and she got everything she deserved when she couldn’t keep him in the house with her. He didn’t want her. She tricked him into marrying her and she had the type of marriage that results from trickery.

Don’t ever do that Sisters.

This Brother told me about a Sister who did some voodou to keep him coming around and he said he hated every minute of it. He ended up finding out about what she did and fixed it and freed himself. But Sisters, if a man doesn’t want you at the moment, if it’s meant to be it will. Just be patient.

Don’t trap him into something he’s not ready for.

A lot of times Sisters get pregnant and the Brother feels obligated to do the right thing but that should not be the reason you get married. That’s what happened to my parents and I guess I should be glad they got married, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but don’t have sex before you get married.

Do everything the right way. COURT. Don’t have boyfriends and girlfriends. It makes everything so right and exact. You won’t have to trap him because he wouldn’t be courting you if he doesn’t want to marry you.

And if the Brother you want doesn’t seem interested pray and ask Allah if he is the one. If Allah Says yes, be patient and keep chaste. He WILL Come Around.

My life bears witness and we’re not there yet but soon come. 😀

SisterCaptain’s Blog ٣٦

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم




March 19, 2017
(My Birthday Day!!!! HBDD ME!!!!)

7:10 P.M.


I was gonna write a blog, but it’s easier to just write you. I have to do so much to prepare the blog and I messed up so I had to start all over so I was like forget it, I’ll just write you and then put it into a blog.
So, how are you, Sweet Zawji? On the bus ride home I saw the same lady I saw yesterday or whatever day I caught the bus. There are so few people who catch the bus that it is inevitable that you’ll see the same people (riders and drivers). She asked me if you were my Brother. I said yes, you were my Brother, my husband, my father, my son, my everything. She said she understood. 🙂 Then I thought, “There’s a word for that – ZAWJI” But I didn’t tell her.  I didn’t want to confuse her after she understood. LOL
I had a really good time at the Congo Square Festival despite the copious amount of devils. I left before I got nauseous.
But I was really surprised to see the babies. I did not know there were so many youth learning how to play brass band! It was encouraging! They came all the way from Baton Rouge and other cities. It was beautiful. I got a picture of this baby playing a trombone and the trombone was bigger than he was. I got a picture. BRB Okay my laptop be trippin’, right?
Image may contain: 2 people, people standing
I tried tried tried to get some video of him playing. He knew what he was doing. I mean he knew when to come in and everything. He couldn’t have been more than three but he was blowing that bone! It was the cutest thing I have ever seen! It reminded me of when Uncle Mike was teaching me how to play the trombone and he told me to use my foot to reach the low notes. LOL That baby was so cute. I hate I couldn’t get any video.
Anyway, I saw all the youth and it was so exciting to see them with all their instruments. I started talking to this brother, I didn’t even really comprehend that he was wearing a tuba until later. He was so cute and BIG! He was probably around Ibni’s age. Maybe younger. I should have asked but I think he liked me. It’s such a trip, these babies can be my grandchildren almost and they ask me how old I AM! LOL But anyway, I was taking a break from the devils and I heard the students playing. One group sounded so good I had to go see who they were. Why was it the brother with the tuba and his band. They were GOOD!!!!!!! The competition didn’t do them justice. I think their bandleader chose the wrong song (Part-Time Lover :/ seriously! For a BRASS BAND? Out of all the songs you could have chosen… But they were still good. The announcer kept talking over the tuba whenever his solo came up. It was so frustrating. For me, anyway 😛 )
I left after they finished. I’m glad I stayed. I hope he saw me because I told him I would try and catch their number.
I got some videos but I’m just going to post the links to facebook. I’ma start with this first one. It’s a video I made of some of the vendors and me getting into it with this “Brew” LOL That’s what I’ma call them now. “Brews” ROFL
These others are the student bands. I’ma start with the Brother who I met.
This group opened the show. They turned out to be really good too.
This was me getting into the mix with all the young musicians. I was pretty upset because a devil was over the whole thing. :/
This was my intro to the fest. I saw an interesting insect and broke out the camera to document it. I didn’t know I would be seeing them the rest of the day. I love insects and nature and this was Allah’s way of introducing me to the day I was in store for. Allahu Akbar.
I didn’t even miss missing Corey and the Birth. The birth has fifteen more minutes to perform but I left way before Corey even came on. I got disgusted when the TBC brought a devil up on the stage with them. I figured if I couldn’t take that, I knew I couldn’t take Corey. He always has devils in his band. So, I just broke.
But I got my fill of Brass bands for the day. When I first got there, this drummer had all Black people in his band and he was paying tribute to this elder named “Uganda” – a conguero. I danced my behind off a little. I REALLY enjoyed their set, until he got up and got nasty. Then I left. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like him because I had seen him on yt when he was supposed to perform at a thing and I googled him first. He seemed to love devils. And today, he kept cursing. So when he got from behind the drums, I should have left. But I don’t realize how disgusting people can be sometimes and I end up getting a rude awakening.
I saw Broke too.
I know he saw me but he wanted me to come up to him so he acted like he didn’t see me. He was standing there with a devil woman and I had had enough of him. So, I just ignored him. He really thought I was going to come up to him AGAIN while he was talking to a devil. I can’t believe I’m even writing about it. LOL He’s pathetic. Come fresh.
I forgot I was writing you, Baby. I was in blogmode.
Did you or are you having a good day? It’s only 5 in L.A. but I guess the day is pretty much done there too. Not really though, because of the time change. I’m still getting used to these long days. It’s still light here.
I decided not to go see the sunrise tomorrow because I still don’t have a key and I would have to wake somebody up to lock the door. 😦 That sucks because I really want to see it. I could go to my spot and sleep there and see it but……. it’s not that serious. I’ll see it again when the time is right, soon come, In sha Allah
Why did the emcee at the fest look and sound just like a Nola Def Jef. I mean it could’ve been him. I haven’t seen him in a long time and he could have moved to Nola and picked up an accent in that time. I mean Faith did it. 😛 He looked JUST like him.
I saw a Brother who looked JUST like Bilal (Red) too. I almost went up and gave him the greetings! I had to look at him a long time to determine if it was him or not. It was only because I’m in NOLA that finally convinced me that it couldn’t be him. But I don’t know why. I know I’m not the only person who travels. It just would’ve been a mighty big coincidence. I didn’t want to see him anyway.
I am REALLY feeling this song Let me try to embed it.
It has JOE written all over it. I need some chocolate. I think I’m gonna walk to the store. Have a beautiful night, Zawji. I love you.

SisterCaptain’s BLOG ١٣

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم



February 15, 2017

2:20 P.M.


(If it were true you wouldn’t have to say it!!!)

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beautiful Black Bebies!

I had a good night’s sleep.

It was weird because somebody came right by me, but he didn’t say nothing and I definitely wasn’t going to say nothing.

He let me watch him do his man work and I really dug it but I felt like I wasn’t supposed to know what he was doing.

Dang feminist made me take electric shop in school so I knew exactly how to do what he was trying to do.

He was connecting his truck brake lights to the back of a float.

I think I jinxed him


It didn’t work.

I would’ve took everything apart and started all over until I got it to work but he may have been pressed for time because he just took it the way it was.

Probably wanted to hurry up and get it to wherever they’re going to decorate it. Mardi Gras is only two weeks away.

It was cool.

He almost left his power tool and I wasn’t going to say anything. Not because I wanted it (I didn’t) but because I didn’t want to compromise my position. I would have had fun with it. Maybe. It was a drill. I probably would’ve started taking stuff apart. LOL

I feel like I’m not supposed to know how to even drive much less how to use a power drill. It was so cool too because it had a light on it.

Girls are not supposed to know how to splice wires and put together cars.

I was remembering when my daughter was little, I bought her a Barbie Jeep (it was pink) but girls are not even supposed to know how to drive much less how to put it together. But I didn’t know then what I know now.

She’s supposed to be riding around with Ken or Jamal (Christie) not pushing her own whip.


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

This morning I got up early, buried my hair and then went to see Rock.

I keep changing his name.

The only other person close to me that I’ve done that with was my mother.

I started out calling her Mama, then Ma then Mamacita.

I don’t like her.

I wonder if that says anything about my relationship with Rock.

We still get along well but I had to use a little “magic” to stay with him because his family is trying to tear us apart.

I love them but they don’t like me because I hate devils.

Everytime I see him he has on a Treme’ something.


The shirts call it “The Jazz Corner of the World”


It should read, “THE BIRTHPLACE OF JAZZ”

I think they may be scared.

That statement holds a lot of weight.


It’s the TRUTH.









And you’ll see.

Jazz oozes up out of the cracks in the street.

It’s carried in the zephyrs.

It rides on the clouds above.

In lives in the hearts of the people.

Everything about The Treme’ spells J.A.Z.Z.

I know the guy who makes the T-shirts.

I’m sure I told him.


Sometimes it takes a while to admit you’re in error.

In Sha Allah, he’ll make new ones.

I will definitely buy a hoodie for my son.

He should put the fleur de lis somewhere on them too.

I saw Rock in his work clothes.

He tried to start an argument with me so he could leave.

I wouldn’t let him.

I’m too hip.

So, he offered his hand


I took off my glove and let him grasp mine.

That was the first time we’ve ever done that.

The other day when I went to see him,

I was singing


And he was quietly listening.

I like to sing around people


I try to sing like they’re not there






I’m gauging they’re responses








But still singing when they are talking

Like I don’t care if they’re listening or not.

I’m just practicing anyway,


But he said

Kinda just loud enough for me to hear

“Sing it, Mama”

At the time I didn’t really feel anything

I just tried to sing better.




Everytime I think about it

My Heart Skips A Beat.

This was Sunday.

Men and women are not even supposed to be friends.

And I have a Zawji

It’s just that we’re not together.



That’s my problem.

I need attention.

I even had a t-shirt with those words on it back in the nineties

When everybody was wearing those t-shirts from the seventies.

I didn’t realize how true it was

Until today.

That’s how I lost Zawji

In High School.

I hate that I’m like that.

I don’t want to be like Billie.

In Lady Sings The Blues.

She was supposed to be happy cooking and cleaning for Louis

But he thought his applause wasn’t good enough.

I think it was plenty.

I would love to sing for my Louis/Billy Dee/Zawji

While I’m baking him chocolate chip cookies or a bean pie or roasting vegetables or making bean soup or a milk and honey fruit shake or chocolate ice cream or marinating salmon for him to cue.

I wouldn’t have to sing another note



I could do that for the rest of my life.

He was the only thing that was missing when I WAS doing all that


My L.A. landlord called me yesterday.

It was nice to know he still thinks about me.

I know he had a place for me but I wouldn’t let him tell me.

I just interrupted him and informed him of my whereabouts.

I told him he would be the first one I call whenever I decide to hit the Shaw.

😉 😉 😉 😛 😛

And don’t wait until a holiday to call me!

Also tell Paul and Shaun I said As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum

I kinda have a New Orleans hook-up but she’s too into Yoruba and Catholicism

And is low-key trying to make me into her ho.



That’s a no-go.

I am trying to get some low-income housing but it takes so long.

I rescheduled my dentist appointment so I’m going to be here at least another month.

In Sha Allah

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Until then…

4:42 p.m.

SisterCaptain’s Log ٧

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم



January 31, 2017

10:22 A.M.A.D.-Jamal 😉

I remember when my daughter was little, I found out she was upset because she had to wait until THE LAST DAY IN MAY for her birthday.

I felt guilty because I let my doctor induce my labour. 😥

If I had not, she would have been born in June like most of my family. 😥

And probably earlier in the month… 😥

Sorry Pumpkin. 😥

I don’t think I ever told you that. But I’m like most old boring people…. Telling the same stories over and over and over and over and over and over…. 😉

My Grandmother told me not to let my doctor induce my labour.

But girls are bigger to carry than boys and to put it quite frankly, not trying to excuse my behaviour, but I felt like a “beached whale” and was tired of being pregnant. :/

Maybe if my grandmother had told me “WHY” I shouldn’t let him induce my labour I would have listened and maybe wouldn’t have done it.

Now, I really regret it and would advise women to just let the baby come on naturally. Even if you’re “overdue” like I was. The Baby knows when it’s time to be born. Everything should happen when it’s supposed to. Especially something as important as a birth date and time. Science shouldn’t interfere. 

It could set off a chain of events that is hard to correct.

My daughter and I don’t even speak to each other now.

Maybe if I had let her be born when SHE wanted to be born, we would have a better relationship.

But only Allah knows.

My sister told me later that doctors just do that (schedule deliveries) so that they won’t have to get up if you go into labour in the middle of the night NATURALLY.

I feel like such a victim.

But my poor daughter has to go through the rest of her life waiting on THE LAST DAY IN MAY for her birthday. Sorry again, Sweet Pumpkin! 😦

We don’t celebrate any days in The Nation Of Islam anyway except SAVIOUR’S DAY (February 26th). But I didn’t start practicing Islam until she was 14. Wow! It doesn’t seem like she was that old. She’s almost 26 now. Unbelievable.

I still picture her as an adorable chubby little toddler. I can’t believe she’s old enough to marry and make me a grandmother!

When I was her age, I was already divorced, about to graduate college, working full time and raising a 5 year-old. I had had a nervous breakdown but at least I made it past 25.

At that time, it was a big deal (for the Brothers anyway) to live past 25.

Pac didn’t make it. 😥

Although I’ve heard some music that sounded like him if he put it out now.

No lie.

Blew my mind.

But, Michael Jackson puts out a new song every day to this day.

Low-key though…

Janet was better.

I read that when they did “Scream”

They were real competitive with each other.

I don’t believe that.

I remember watching the Jackson’s movie that Jermaine produced and it showed when Michael went solo that they were proud of him, not at all jealous. Also, I read the introduction to a J5 compilation written by Janet wherein she said how proud she was of her brothers growing up and how much she loved their music.

So, I think that competition thing is just media hype

Most people prefer girl singers though for some reason.

I think it’s something about the pitch of the female voice that’s more entertaining.

Some Muslims believe women are not supposed to sing publicly.

I don’t.

The Messenger (PBUH) did say we were not supposed to be singing filthy Love Songs though; tempting men and whatnot.

I just sing to my Zawji

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Mike was a biter too.

He bit his dances from Jeffrey Daniels (of Soul Train and Shalimar fame) and he bit the Moonwalk from some Breakers.

I wish more people knew.

I wonder if THEY knew he was stealing their moves.

That would be different.

But I feel deceived.

I thought Mikey came up with that stuff on his own.

I can’t stand biters.

Even if he did get clearance from them. What about your fans who think YOU came up with it?

It’s like Rakim penning “Summertime” for Willard, Jr.

When he sold it to him, he had to give up all rights and he may have been cool with that, but it’s DECEPTIVE.

I almost feel like singers and rappers should only sing songs that they’ve written.

Jazz singers and players will credit the songwriter before or after they perform a number but who knew Ice Cube wrote all of NWA’s songs before the movie?

Unless you buy the album (but who buys albums nowadays) you may never know who wrote a song. I guess you can Google it. But even still people lie.

A journalist asked RA if he wrote Summertime and stood there and lied straight through his teeth.

Look how Flav looks at him

That money can be a big incentive.

 But that’s hard for me to accept, especially being a writer.

Biters take credit for somebody else’s creativity.

It’s deceptive.

I mean, I don’t know. The whole thing is confusing.

It almost makes me never want to sing or play music publicly again.

I heard this Brother sing a song in my style and it just shut me up.

I never even knew I had a style until I heard him. LOL

It was when I used to go to Day Therapy and they would pick us up from L.A. and take us up to the mountains. So we were in the car about three hours every day and he had been listening to me sing for about a week and then one day he started singing sounding JUST LIKE ME.

It really opened my eyes.

I didn’t know I had a sound that was imitatable. LOL (making up words again 😉 ) But there he was. Singing just like me.

It made me more conscious about who I sing around, especially over an extended period of time.

I remember once I was in the hospital and I drew this picture of some flowers and left it in the day room with the other pictures other people had drawn and/or colored.

Then, one day in Art Therapy, this she-devil starts talking about she was going to draw a picture.

Why did she draw the exact same pictures of flowers I had drawn.

I was pissed.

I said, “You stole that from me!” and went to get my picture.

Then, like a real devil, SHE GOT MAD and knocked the paint water all over my picture.

I was stunned.

I mean, how you gonna get mad at ME for biting MY style.


I know she was just mad because I called her out.

But I didn’t tell her to bite.


I guess when you put your art out there, you leave it open for someone to bite. Truthfully, she didn’t know that it was me who had drawn the picture, so I shouldn’t take it personally. But the fact that she announced that she was going to draw a picture, and then drew MY picture like she had come up with the concept, was too much for me.

Anyway, I said all that to say, that this is THE LAST DAY IN JANUARY

And it feels like it.

This morning was so-so.

Kinda cool, kinda not so cool.

I get sick and tired of biters trying to be close to me, trying to steal my shine.

I just move.

Then they sit in my seat.


First breakfast was aight, I got to drink some milk.

Second breakfast we had Cream of Wheat, which I was so thankful was not grits.


A while ago, there was this big debate on Facebook about whether grits were better with sugar or with salt. :/ Either way they are too hard on the digestive system for your good health. Do not eat them at all.

I had them one time when I was little. We used to pick up this Brother for school and every morning he would get in the car with a mouthful of grits. Thankfully, my mother never prepared grits for us. Well, one morning, I happened to go inside and I tasted them for myself. I almost threw up. Literaturely. I gagged on them.

I’ve come to learn that most foods that I don’t like are not good for you anyway. Like grits. And other foods that I initially didn’t like, but came to like because it was all I was given or made myself like because everybody else liked: peanut butter, greens, black-eyed peas, ham, lobster, MEAT, cornbread, pasta… None of these foods prolong life, rather they take life away.



We are one month into 2017. It is so funny how fast time flies. I’m still getting used to the idea of being in 2017. Next year, I will have been out of High School 30 YEARS!


I feel like I’m STILL in High School!!!



Seriously though.

Admittedly, I’m a year younger than most of the people I graduated with because I started school when I was four. I told you my mother never loved me. She just wanted me out of the house. But I’m younger than people who graduated AFTER me. It’s crazy.

I used to console myself about being younger than everybody, by telling them, “When you’re 30, I’ll still be 29!” LOL

Now, we’re pushing 50!

Al Hamdulillah!

So thankful to be here. Healthy and Happy!

With so much of my life ahead of me.

My children are growing up but I can still have another one, In sha Allah!
(If it Pleases Allah)

I can’t believe Makay-kay’s going to be 18!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

It seems like yesterday, Zawji was holding and kissing her in his arms…

While I was miserable wanting to hold and kiss her too


Her mother was oblivious to what was going on

Preoccupied with my camera.

I wanted her to go nurse our baby.

I did it instead.

You know I’m a Jersey Cow!

I always have milk.

If anyone is having trouble producing milk,

Call me (213)378-6798.

I’ll just charge you Room & Board

And if you are not Black

Don’t waste my time.

Those days are over.


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m thrilled because I didn’t hear the formerly sick Sister cough


Last Night.


If you have a dry cough/wet cough, whether it’s asthma, pneumonia, tuberculosis, yellow fever, leukemia, ANY COUGH, find some COLT’S FOOT. Click here if you missed the link yesterday.

You will have to take a walk or get out of the car, because it’s a weed and grows on the curb or in abandoned lots.

Now is a good time because it’s flu season and a lot of people have coughs. It also happens to be the time that it’s growing.

I would recommend not procrastinating because it’s growing in proportion to the rains and soon people are going to be mowing the lawns, so get it now.

Just heat up some water, put the LEAVES in the water. Let it seep for about three minutes and drink. You can sweeten it if you need to. I’ve never tasted it but sweetened it when I gave it to my son. The Sister yesterday drank it plain.

Zawji told me it worked before she even finished the remedy.

But I’m a Muslim Scientist and we have to have proof.

If anybody reprimands or belittles you for wanting proof of anything;


Especially Christians.

There is nothing wrong with wanting proof.

Tell them to show you Jesus if he is still alive.

They’ll say he’s up in the sky “on the right-hand side of the Father”

Then tell them to show you the father.


I can show you my God.

Show me yours.

Same thing with the Farrakhaners and others who say

Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him)

Is still alive.

Tell them to show him to you.

I would LOVE it if the Messenger (PBUH) was still alive.

I would like to see and hear him in person.

Possibly shake his hand.

But I know he told us everything he had to say.

He even put it in a BOOK.

He taught until he was not able to teach anymore, so if he were still alive, he would still be teaching.

It makes me want to kill somebody almost when people try to tell me the Messenger (PBUH) is still alive.

It’s hard enough to accept that he is dead, then here you come trying to make me go through the pain of him dying again all over again!

Prove it.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

So, I’m just going to cool out until I get my check, then I can start all over.

This has been the longest month of my life.


I haven’t taken a shower or bath since I don’t know when.

But only some people smell me.

It’s like I can turn it on and off.

Not for real.

Zawji turns it on and off.

I told you I wasn’t taking one until I can take one with Zawji.

But, I’ma take one when I get my check.

Whichever comes first.

I was hoping someone would report me and I could take an emergency shower.

I hate waiting.

I hate begging.

And you have to do both to get a shower on Skid Row.


I’m just not gonna take one.

Ya’ll just gonna have to smell me.


It’s good though because people I don’t like will leave.

Or just have to suffer.

Sorry. Not sorry.

You shouldn’t love devils so much.

I’m realizing that my biggest beef with Black People is their love of devils.

That’s what it really boils down to.

They don’t like me because I don’t like devils.

I don’t like them because they love devils.

But We Are Living In the Greatest Day Of Separation.



No Skin Off My Nose.

You go with your people.

I will go with mine.

But don’t come looking for me,

When you realize that they are going to be destroyed.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I can’t wait to get my check.

I’m Audi 5000, G


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

So thankful I haven’t had to “prostitute” myself for a safe night off the street.

That’s literaturely how it feels.

He tells me he doesn’t want sex but has a condom and a bottle of KY on the dresser by the bed.

I can’t.

I slept on the floor two nights.

If I go back it’s going to be the third night and someone once told me that three nights is all he allows a woman to stay over after that she’s gotta go.

I feel like that third night he’s going to try and force me to do something I didn’t do the first two nights.

It’s scary.

I’m vulnerable being in some man’s home.

And I like ’em BIG & SCARY!!!


Anything could happen.

I don’t want to give him the slightest enticement.

He tried to say I let him kiss me.


Not after Buster or Edgar.

It took me 35 years to realize no one can ever replace my Zawji

And I don’t hide my endless love for him.

The first thing they see when they see me is his picture.

I tell them, when they inevitably ask,

He’s my “Zawji”

What does that mean?
“It means, he’s my EVERYTHING. My husband. My Best Friend. My Daddy. My Brother. My Son. My Pooh Bear. My Soan Papdi. My Bay. My BOO. My Soulmate. My Nafis. MY ZAWJI!”

I don’t know what they want from me.



Probably whatever they think I’ll give them, which is nothing.

I just use them for what I need.

They get to be seen with a beautiful lady.

Again. I’m not boasting. But I’m the one. Just ask me. It shall be done.

Don’t Bother To Compare.

I haven’t even seen Batman.

I guess he’s hiding out because everybody know he messed up a good thing.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Somebody actually called me the day before yesterday.

I started not to answer because it’s ALWAYS bad news.

But it was a 213 number and my phone was actually working. SMH

I answered and

Said, “Mm-hmm”

 Nobody said anything.

So I said, “Yes” Like you’re really supposed to say when you answer the phone.

Muslims don’t say “Hello” when we answer the phone.

We don’t have time or patience for gossip. Just get to the reason why you called.

They still didn’t say anything. So I hung up.

They called back and I said “Yes”

Still no response.

When they called again I didn’t answer.

Yesterday, I called the number and it sounded like a Black girl, then Zawji switched matrices and it was an Asian lady.

I just hung up.

Why did they call again this morning?

I didn’t answer.

NOBODY ever calls me.

Me and my son use FB Messenger. Sometimes I use Gmail calling. But I never actually use the phone. Maybe for business.

Everybody knows not to call me. Because I don’t answer.

FB is your best bet. That is, if you’re not one of the 2000+ people I’ve blocked.

You can always leave a comment here too. No one will see it. I have to approve all comments first.

What you tryna hide anyway? 😉

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I cannot WAIT to go back to the Jazz Playhouse

I need a fix.


I can’t remember the last time I had a hit of some LIVE JAZZ.

I think it was that “fundraiser” for the Candlelight with Mr. Henry with the smoky blue lights that I had to listen to outside because that mean lady who owns it doesn’t like me.

It was swingin’ tho!

Man! Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans???

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

3:21 P.M.



Reprinted from the February 4, 1972 edition of Muhammad Speaks Newspaper

Chicago, Illinois – (This is Part Two of “Muhammad Speaks'” exclusive presentation of Messenger Muhammad’s (Peace Be Upon Him) January 14, 1972, Press Conference)

❤ ❤ ❤

QUESTION: Mr. Muhammad, is it true that you are planning to build a new home for your family. I think right adjacent to your present home?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: It is true those houses are my homes.

QUESTION: The press has evaluated the new homes at a half a million dollars.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I wish I had gotten off with that cheap price, but it is twice that much that these buildings are costing. All four of the homes cost a million dollars a little over a million dollars; about $2,230,000.

QUESTION: I was referring to a new home for yourself and your wife. Mr. Muhammad, that home, sometimes referred to as a mansion, the cost has been estimated to cost one half million dollars.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I think they are costing a little more for the house here on the corner.

QUESTION: There are reports that you are in the process of purchasing a large tract of land to build low income houses.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We have some information from the authorities that they could supply us with an area now for about a hundred thousand, I do not know exactly. I have not gone into any serious questioning about it.

QUESTION: Federal government or local government?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: Local government, the city.

QUESTION: How soon do you expect those to be built?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not know. I have not went into seriously, these offers, but I hope to do so soon because we need them. My greatest desire on the South side is to build homes for the Black Man on the South side in Chicago. Again, my greatest desire is to put him up a hospital, which he sorely needs; he really needs a hospital. Again, the third, I would say, it is an educational center to teach him the knowledge of self. The city has not approached me yet to sell me and my followers these houses. But, they have indirectly indicated this would be easy to do, if I wanted to get them for such purposes.

QUESTION: Do you have a date in mind when you would like to begin construction of these one hundred single family homes?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We would like to go into that as soon as possible with the proper authorities.

QUESTION: Will you also try similar enterprises in other cities?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: Yes, everywhere we are. This group in Baton Rouge, claiming to be Muslims, is there a known leader?

QUESTION: Do you know how many Muslims have been killed in the last few years, either by police or internal strife? Do you keep such a record?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We try, but I am not saying how many we have on record, today.

QUESTION: You spoke earlier about police brutality. Were you suggesting that this was some kind of police plot? Or are you sure it was a splinter group?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: Yes, we have been attacked and still are being attacked by the police department and there are some few of my followers who have been killed by the police department.

QUESTION: Do you feel that the police might have been responsible for what happened at Baton Rouge or on the West Coast?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I am not eager to say pro or con on this matter, because I do not have too much knowledge of it. But I do know, according to what has passed, that the police department down there could give you better knowledge than me.

QUESTION: You indicate that the numbers of the Nation are increasing. How do you feel about the fidelity that is coming from the individuals who are joining up with the Nation? Do you feel people are becoming more deeply involved or more deeply a part of the Nation of Islam, or do you think the numbers tend to spread things thin?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I think for the last year or so that we have increased in the registry of our people, with very good people. Their morals are good and they are trying now to increase themselves into better morals. Our natural Black people all over the country are trying to do that.

QUESTION: Have you designated a successor for yourself ?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not do that. I cannot do that. I did not choose myself. God chose me and if He wants a successor, He will choose that one.

QUESTION: By what means would someone come up?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not know that, because I do not believe there is one coming up. The work that I am doing, I don’t think God needs one, because when man and God have come face to face, as the old saying goes, then that is the end of it. When we are face to face with God, that is the end of it and so what would another one do? There is nothing for him to do.

QUESTION: After you are gone, Mr. Muhammad, the Nation of Islam will continue to exist but how?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: It will be a New Islam to what the old Orthodox Islam is, today. It will be altogether a New One.

QUESTION: You mean your successor will preside over a New Islam?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: There will be no successor. There is no need for a successor when a man has got the Divine truth and has brought you face to face with God.

QUESTION: How will your resources be administered?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: That will be carried on by the Nation. After setting up the Nation on the right way, or right path to take care of themselves, they do not need any more instruction on that. They will follow it as the Constitution of America has been followed.

QUESTION: Will it be run by local Mosques?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: No, No, No. After this, the whole entire Nation of Black people will be governed Divinely and the government will be a Divine government and not something that is governed locally, like we have today. We will have a Divine government set up for us, and it will stand forever. We will not need any change.

QUESTION: What did you mean, “new different from Orthodox?”

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I meant just that. We have a New Islam coming up. The Old Islam was led by white people, white Muslims, but this one will not be. This Islam will be established and led by Black Muslims, only.

QUESTION: Will there be a Saviour’s Day affair as it has been in the Coliseum.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We have not made preparations there.

QUESTION: Where will you have it Sir.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We hope to have it in the Armory over on 52nd and Cottage.

QUESTION: Will you address the gathering, Mr. Muhammad?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: That depends on the Will of God. If He Pleases, I will be there.

QUESTION: Has that changed your plans, Baton Rouge, has it changed your security arrangements?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: No, because I have One Security and that is God, Himself.

QUESTION: How is your health?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: My health? Well, I do very well, I think, if it Pleases Allah. And, all of the afflictions of the former Messengers, to classify Elijah that is coming just before the Great and Dreadful day of God, he must have a taste of all of it.

QUESTION: Why did you appoint a press conference, today?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: They appointed themselves, and I am willing to go along with them, in that I set up a press conference.

QUESTION: When was the last press conference, do you recall ?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I have not had an actual press conference in quite few years. I think it was in L.A. I had something like questions on certain things, on one thing, about when the Malcolm death took place. That was not, say, really a press conference. We have not had a press conference since quite a few years ago, out in Los Angeles.

QUESTION: Would you tell us the present status of Muhammad Ali (Cassius Clay)?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: Cassius Clay is a good believer. I would say the young man is full of sport and he goes along with sport, too, but I think in his heart he wants to be good.

QUESTION: Will he be returned into full membership in the Nation of Islam?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: There is nothing one would do that cannot be forgiven, if he repents.

QUESTION: Have you set a date for when he comes back into full membership?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: No, he is actually still a good Believer. As far as certain duties or posts as he used to hold, as teaching the Ministry, I do not know when that will take place.



Reprinted from the January 28, 1972 edition of Muhammad Speaks Newspaper

On Friday, January 14, sixteen Chicago-based journalists representing several local and national newspapers and magazines were received in the home of the Honorable Elijah Muhammad, Messenger of Allah. In this rare hour-and-a-half long group interview, Messenger Muhammad placed no limitations on questions asked. Though granted this rare privilege to talk at length with a man the press usually describes as “inaccessible,” the journalists’ editors have permitted very little of the interview to appear in other news media. Therefore, Muhammad Speaks presents the interview in an EXCLUSIVE SERIES as was recorded by Sister V. Najieb, one of the Messenger’s secretaries.)

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: My reaction is to continue to teach them to not do those things as I have always. I do not believe in carrying weapons. When a man puts weapons in his pockets, or a gun, I will make it clear, it takes his mind off God’s protection and puts it on the gun to protect him. This I have taught my followers ever since God left me: Do not carry weapons, because that is not a protection for the people who manufacture such weapons. They cannot save their own lives with them, today.

QUESTION: What is the reason in your estimation for the violence that has occurred? What do you think is the reason for the violence that has taken place?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: It is just people who are not ready to join up with the righteous and who wish to destroy the righteous and let evil and unrighteousness triumph, if it can.

QUESTION: Is there an effort to take over the Organization?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not think our people are that foolish as to think they can take it over. There may be some people that think they can take it over. There may be some people that think, “If such one and such one is out of the way I could get his place.” That may be in the minds of some of the people but I do not believe actually they really believe it themselves (that they are going to take over). Do you think, Sir that it is true? The Mayor of Baton Rouge thought this.

QUESTION: Have you heard anything to the effect that government officials are trying to put pressure on the Black Muslims similar to the pressure that was put on other Black organizations in the past?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: As I said, a minute or so ago. I have been doing this work for forty years. I have known many groups to rise up since that time and carry into practice what you have in mind. But actually our people in L.A. and New York or any other place, here in Chicago, they have been mistreated right along. They go to prison and the federal penitentiary, as they call it (institutions). But, that is all given to us. The trial of the Black Muslims in America must come to pass. We must be tried.

QUESTION: Has police brutality in Chicago increased or decreased?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: No I do not say that it has increased against us. I think it is just about the same as it always has been.

QUESTION: Has anybody brought it to your attention, has any member brought it to your attention, that they are dissatisfied with how that money is used?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not pay any attention to any such talk, because most of my followers are satisfied with what happens to the money that is donated for the upkeep of the work that we are doing and wish that they could give more.

QUESTION: The Nation of Islam does have considerable holdings financial assets and there in the South, recently, I forgot whether it was Alabama or Mississippi, there was a lot of “hullabaloo” about not allowing Black Muslims to obtain farmland, due to the number of people trying to cut down on…..

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We have been living in the world that goes like this “Keep the nigger down.” And we are not out of it yet. And what we are doing today, we are trying to do something for ourselves. Therefore, we go to the farm, where there is the place where everyone, if he wants to be successful, can go back to the earth and get it from the earth. This is where the white man got it from. He has been successful ever since he has been on the Western Hemisphere. He has raised enough food to supply his brother in Europe and even our Brothers in Africa, right here in America.

QUESTION: The group in Baton Rouge that has been identified as Black Muslims, what was their status at the time of the shooting in Baton Rouge?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not know, because we did not have them on our register; therefore, we do not know just what was what. We do know this, that they were not on our registry as good Muslims. We could not locate them and if they were on our registry, as good Muslims, we would try to do the best we could to uphold their goodness…. We did not know these people in the beginning. Their names, some of them are foreign to us, altogether.

QUESTION: Do you have a central registry of all through out the country?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: All of them that come to register, we do have.

QUESTION: Can you give us a number of those you have?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: They come so fast. Right at this hour they are trying to get to us now, in the Registry of Islam. We never know how many we have. We believe we have quite a few hundred thousand over the country. And they are coming in faster now than ever.

QUESTION: Authorities in Baton Rouge released a vast itinerary (of the group in Baton Rouge), trying in many reports from various sources saying that this group has come there, asking for support.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: No, I have not received any report. No, I do not have anything that I can say accurate report that these people came to the Temple there.

QUESTION: (Referring to the shooting of Theodore Bey and Captain Raymond Sharrieff) Why do you think someone would be shooting at Mr. Sharrieff, and why do you think some would be shooting Theodore Bey?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: I do not know what you have in your heart. I do not have that knowledge. Why would they go shoot at the man? What was he doing to them to cause their anger to rise that high to want to kill an innocent man sitting behind the wall in his own office?

QUESTION: What do you mean when you say, “a good Muslim?”

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: A good Muslim is one who observes and obeys the laws of the Religion of Islam, designed by God, Himself.

QUESTION: Does that mean that they are only people, I suppose, people ousted from the religion at times? If someone is found not to obey the laws, they are expelled?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: We have such punishment if we find you not obeying the laws of the religion of Islam as it is taught to me by God, Himself, and that I put the law out before the world and especially before the world and especially before those who believe, to follow and obey, we put you out of the circle and we give such time as from thirty days to six, nine, or twelve months and one to five years and that to seven years. But, we never have had to put a man out or woman out for seven years. But, these are the numbers of times that you are to pay for your disobedience.

QUESTION: If you are expelled or suspended are you listed on the registry? Do you have a list if someone is suspended for a period of seven years for not obeying the laws? Would you still have that person listed on your registry ?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: Yes, we have to keep him on there.

QUESTION: So if the people were members at any time, you would know that.

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: If we consult our register, to find out whether or not any of these people were listed (the name), we will find it. We are still searching. We never stop searching to see if such and such people are not on our register, just in case, say, we punish ourselves. We have a punishment as I just listed to you, for disobedient Muslims and we are always checking our registry for such things that a Muslim may do and cause us trouble.

QUESTION: It appears from your check so far, that none of the people in Baton Rouge are members of your organization?

MESSENGER MUHAMMAD: So, far, we have not found wherein those people that were charged with beginning a shooting riot down there were on our registry. I want to accelerate this “Baton Rouge staff.” We do not consider a Muslim is Muslim, who is running around over the country, trying to start trouble. We do not even consider him.