HOW TO DRESS IN CIVILIZED SOCIETY

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ ﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

“In the fifties, a woman’s achievement was evaluated by the man she married
and her social grace….”

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beautiful & Beloved Black Wives
of the Rulers of the Planet Earth!

الحَمْد لله

Beloved Sisters, the devil Caucasian slavemasters did not civilize us – their slaves – into the arts and sciences of cultured and civilized society. On the contrary, they made it a criminal offense, punishable with imprisonment or death, for teaching one of us – their servitude slaves – how to READ!!! Much less, how to act amongst the civilized people of the earth.

No, they would much rather amuse themselves by wagering one against the other, to determine whose slave would humiliate himself by drinking himself into a stupor before the others.

No, they did nothing in the way of teaching their slaves how to be decent and intelligent human beings. Rather, they commercialized on the destruction of our families, by wrenching the newborn baby, from his poor mother’s arms, only to sell him to the highest bidder.

The skunks of the Planet Earth did not deem it necessary to educate their slaves into the proper way to act to make us fit for acceptance amongst our own people nor any other people of the Planet Earth for that matter. They kept and still keep us ignorant to the Knowledge of our own selves, and forced, beat, whipped and chained the Head of our Households, the Backbone of our Families, Our Protectors and Providers, onto the AUCTION BLOCK, whenever he (the slavemaster) fancied, to be sold into the deep South, where our poor Blackman’s cherished family had no hope of ever seeing their beloved Husband and Father again.

And, Allah forbid the slavemaster die! Why then WHOLE FAMILIES would be separated from each other and divided amongst the slavemaster’s surviving family members according to the stipulations outlined in his will!!!

In short, it is not without merit to conclude that neither our slavemasters nor their children, under whose oppressive regime we still slave today, had, have, nor will they ever have the decency and intelligence to properly civilize their loyal slaves.

But الحَمْد لله, Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, taught us through His Messenger, The Most Honourable And Humble Elijah Muhammad, (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) the value and importance of doing something for ourselves. WE MUST QUALIFY OURSELVES FOR THE RULE OF THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE.

Beloved Black Sisters and Brothers, Do Not Ever Think You Will EVER See Examples of CULTURED, REFINED and CIVILIZED SOCIETY On Television Or In The Movies.

I REPEAT, DO NOT EVER THINK YOU WILL EVER SEE EXAMPLES OF CULTURED, REFINED, CIVILIZED SOCIETIES ON TELEVISION OR IN THE MOVIES!!!!!!!!

Not even the President of the United States and his family accurately represent the High Society Allah (God) Has vouchsafed for us – His Chosen People – The So-Called American Negroes.

And, you definitely will not see any type of entertainer nor nouveau riche technology tycoon demonstrating such high culture.

Barrack Obama or any POTUS is merely the façade behind whom the real devil decision-makers veil their evil and deceitful dealings. Barry is just the mouthpiece for the devil slavemaster capitalists whom you will never see. They are always is back boardrooms, behind closed doors, determining the fate of the 85 per cent and figuring out how they can make the most money off of us.

However, when they are not in the boardrooms, they are out with their wives socializing at each other homes and other events out on the town. This is the societal life which is never seen by the plebeian, however, as the Rulers of the New World Order, this luxe quality of life is exemplary of the style in which Our Saviour Allah, wants us to become acquainted and well-versed.

* * * * *

Beloved Sisters, there was a time, not so long ago, when all of the people of the planet earth practiced proper civilized behaviour. However, over the past six decades, morals and values have deteriorated to the unfortunate state of debauchery into which my generation (X) was thrust (born into).

The 1950s was the last decade to witness and enjoy a cultured and civilized society among the general populace.

* Nuclear Families Prevailed
* Suits, hats and gloves were every day attire
* Swearing was relegated to groups of adult men only – never to be heard in the presence of women and children.
*  Intimacy was reserved for married couples and never ventured out of the privacy of their bedrooms.

We, Black People (who are my only concern), have deviated so far off from the path of civilized, refined behaviour that the proponent of a return to such a decent and intelligent way of life is derided and looked upon as a crazy person.

Nevertheless, With the Help of Allah (God), it can and shall be done, إن شاء الله

* * * * *

“Look the Part; Be the Part!”

There are many things we must do to qualify ourselves for the rule.

* First and foremost, READ MESSAGE TO THE BLACKMAN IN AMERICA. Click here to read now.

* Secondly, READ HOW TO EAT TO LIVE. Click here to read now.

* Thirdly, STUDY, STUDY, STUDY any and EVERYTHING you can get your hands on by Our Beloved Messenger, The Most Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him). YouTube is a good resource. However, I MUST WARN YOU – Do Not Read books or listen to people talk ABOUT The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (PBUH)!!!

READ AND LISTEN TO WHAT HE HAD TO SAY and then YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN INFORMED OPINION BASED ON HIS OWN DIVINE SUPREME WISDOM TEACHINGS AND NOT ON LIES AND PROPAGANDA DEVISED BY HIS, YOUR AND MY ENEMIES, FOR THE SOLE PURPOSE OF VILIFYING HIM SO THAT YOU WILL REJECT HIS TEACHINGS AND THUS REJECT YOUR OWN SALVATION.

Now Sisters, while you’re in the process of attaining Knowledge of Self and educating, uplifting and nourishing your INTERNAL SELF (mental/spiritual), we must also actively work toward the improvement of our OUTWARD SELF (appearance). And, be the paradigm of decent and intelligent women, destined to shine as guides for the rest of the women on the Earth.

I have already written a basic guideline highlighting the basics of decent and acceptable fashion for the modest and wholesome woman, whom we are by nature. Click here. However, as members of the Upper Echelon of High Society we must maintain wardrobes that reflect the rich and luxurious, RIGHTEOUS lifestyle, Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Has destined for us.

Generally, when it comes to Fashion, there are two determining factors to consider when choosing what or what not to wear.

I. OCCASION

II. TIME OF DAY

*Disclaimer* For the sake of familiarity, I have retained the use of the word “cocktail” although in The New World Order, there will be a complete cessation of the consumption of alcoholic beverages. Furthermore, as a knower of what we can expect in the future, I have no reservations about the wearing of animal skins (fur). They (animals) were put here for us to both wear their skins and also to partake of as food (fish).

Pay no attention to the babies’ (Caucasian devils’) affected concern for endangered species. (They say the same about us :/ ) Our animals have been on our planet since before the devils were even made. And, they will be here after the devils are destroyed.

As I was saying… A typical evening out begins at 5 with a “Cocktail” Party. Then there are three different classes of events.

* THE BIG DINNER AT A PRIVATE HOME

* AN OPENING OR GALA THEATRE

* BENEFIT BALLS AND BIG DANCES

“Cocktail” Party Attire

Typically, “Cocktail” dresses are short, but in The New World, the decent and intelligent refined woman of class and culture always wears ankle-length dresses and skirts that completely cover the legs.

Her outerwear matches the dress. The hair is completely covered by a matching headpiece and appropriate “cocktail” gloves complete her ensemble.

* A note about earrings

The other night, my roommate was watching a show about an affluent Black family, when the wife had a reflective moment where she sat down at her vanity, pondering her current drama, while gazing in the mirror at her beautiful reflection. She then, thoughtfully and pensively began removing her opulent jewelry.

I’ve seen this scene play out numerous times in different dramas, never with a Black actress I might add however, but when this Sister removed her earrings she had to use BOTH HANDS!!!!!! I was floored! This scene was completely foreign to me and contrary to every law of jewelry removal according to every flick I had ever seen. So utterly and completely WRONG!

EVERY single woman I had previously seen remove her ear ornamentation, merely put her hand to her lower ear, grasped the ring and simply pulled it off! We’ve all seen it. The femme fatale, demurely pulls off a clip-on before putting the phone to her ear, without a second thought.

Now, this Sister, using TWO HANDS, and I had an epiphany. Civilized women don’t pierce their ears! I’m sorry, Khemetists, you can cite the Ancient Egyptians and disagree but I maintain that it’s self-mutilation – like tattoos.

I know some of you may not like to hear (read) this, but speaking from the point of view of someone who has both (piercings and tattoos), I can say with authority that they are both forms of self mutilation. If you knew better, you would do better!

We MUST abandon these current (and ancient) trends that stifle our progress, no matter how popular they are amongst lay people, and rise to a higher standard of living. Be strong, Sisters! We Are Trailblazers. Be forewarned, there is going to be much opposition, especially from our children.

I vividly remember, BEGGING my mother to allow me to get my ears pierced. She didn’t want to, but importunate persistence from a precocious eight-year-old can triturate even the most formidable of adversaries. Be FIRM. Decency is laughed at and mocked in this day and time we live in. Be Teflon, Sisters….. Impervious Steel Teflon! And don’t pierce your or your daughters’ ears! (If you haven’t already)

Okay, back to the “Cocktail” Party….. My research shows that brooches worn on the left are suitable for “cocktail” parties and I’ve always loved brooches. (Think late eighties paisley 😉 ) But up until just now, I was thinking “Cameos” and I thought wouldn’t it be lovely to wear a Cameo with the image of a Blackwoman instead of those horrid caveys? So, I Googled it and only found these. Here’s an Idea for one of you enterprising D.I.Y.ers, manufacture brooches with images of beautiful historical Blackwomen! I smell a resurgence! 🙂

  

My Personal Favorite 

I recently met a Sister who makes jewelry and she happened to sell the above Blackwoman cameo.

You can find them online here.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

You dress should be complemented by a small-fabric covered handbag with matching pumps in suede or fabric dyed to match your dress.

And, I might add here, Sisters – I just Googled the above and was mortified by the selection. Today’s fashion is so trashy. But All Praise is due to Allah for YouTube. It’s easy to make your own handbag and shoes too. Keep Hope Alive! 😛

* * * * *

BIG DINNER AT A PRIVATE HOME

          I can’t WAIT for my husband and I to host our first formal dinner – the professionally French trained executive chef! We’re an old-fashioned couple, so this type of evening suits us perfectly. We revel in the lost art and science of entertaining, emphasizing chivalry, modesty, and demurity. We are most comfortable in formal/upscale attire and settings. And, good-natured, clean, wholesome fun is our forte. Big Dinners at our Private Home are sure to be memorable extravaganzas which will leave guests talking for months. Look for your invite!

Here’s what to wear: *M.G.T. Garments with pants-skirts or ankle-length maxi dresses complemented by a matching small fur capelet in ermine 

or pale mink

When it comes to table etiquette, Sisters, always take your cues from your hostess. Here is a link to a video that will give you a better idea of proper decorum at a formal Dinner.

* * * * *

OPENINGS AND GALA THEATRE

Our Beloved Messenger, The Most Honorable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) Taught Us That, “WE MUST DO SOMETHING FOR SELF!”

Well, I’m extremely happy to report that we are doing it! Finally, Black People are waking up and becoming business-minded and taking their destiny into their own hands, instead of willingly putting their and their families lives into the avaricious hands of the devil Caucasian slavemasters.

This means, Opening Celebrations! Restaurant Grand Openings, CD Release Listening Parties, Art Gallery Exhibitions, Movie Premieres, Operas and Orchestral Performances as well as Broadway Theatre Openings. All of these events open with Red Carpet regalia and we must be dressed in show-stopping garments when in attendance.

The rules are generally the same as for the Big Dinner at a private home with one exception: substitute the capelet, in favor of a long fur chinchilla

 or a full-length cashmere

or alpaca wool with a satin lining.

 

*F.Y.I.*

Here is a list of furs you might want to tuck into your hubby’s sportcoat 😉 or just pick the one you like best. My hubby knows what I like better than I do. I’m just lucky I guess. 😉

Persian Lamb

Russian Broadtail

Beaver

Snow Leopard

Sealskin
(
Love this!!)

* * * * *

CHARITY BENEFIT BALL AND BIG DANCES

Undoubtedly, there are going to be organizations holding fundraisers for noble causes and what better occasion to get all dolled up and beautiful while on the arm of the most handsome and powerful Supreme Beings in the Universe – Our Husbands – The Asiatic Blackman.

For these events and other Big Party Celebrations always wear full-length garments in any “after 5” fabric.

Brocade

Velvet

Satin

Taffeta

Faille

Sisters, keep in mind that all this is for the upliftment of our husbands, without whom none of this would be possible. If you look back to the time when people were more civilized, decent and intelligent, women were only known by their husbands’ names. Mrs. Amad-Jamal, et al. Not only did we not keep our maiden names (as is the trend nowadays, Come on Jada, Be Jada Smith!) and take our husband’s last name – WE ALSO TOOK HIS FIRST NAME! Which is why I, proudly go by Mrs. Amad-Jamal.

We understood and embraced our role as “HELPMATES” and did not seek any personal recognition. We were and should still be happy to give our husbands’ the honor and respect they so rightfully deserve as the Gods of the Universe. Our joy and happiness comes in knowing that everything they do, they do for us.

*Note*
Silk is NEVER to be worn during the day, and our daughters must be at least eighteen (18) to wear black – with the exception of black velvet.

(I had a black velvet dress as a young girl that I will never forget. It had a lace peter pan collar and puffed cap sleeves and I absolutely adored wearing it. It was gorge! 😉 I felt so glamorous. Every little girl should have at least one.)

Pair up your garment with a matching fur stole or ephemeral chiffon or tulle wrap

and white or pale suede, glacé kid or doeskin gloves.

Loose-fitting sheath ball dress of pale chiffon or satin brocade with a single back panel hanging like a train. Something like this but not so tight and with both sleeves.

* * * * *

ACCESSORIES

From Lunch to “Cocktails”, pearls are appropriate. I’m sure you remember those happy homemakers baking chocolate chip cookies while wearing a dress, an apron and a string of pearls. 😉 That’s us.

However, for Dinner, DIAMONDS ARE A MUST! 

A word of caution, Ladies, Diamonds are only to be worn by women OVER 30! Women under thirty may only wear diamond engagement rings. Other than that women must be at least 30 to wear the most damage-resistant and longest lasting element in the Universe.

For these privileged women, Diamond chokers, diamond pendants, diamond CLIP earrings, heavy diamond bracelets and even diamond tiaras are all heavily praised and admired at nighttime social gatherings.

* * * * *

GLOVES

In Islam, we are instructed to always wear gloves when we go out among the public. Gloves, as well as clothes, shoes, and headpieces are much more than fashion statements. They protect us from filth, sickness and disease that can result as a part of just being out in the elements among the public. Our outfits are not complete without a pair of gloves.

I can bear witness to the sanitation benefits of always wearing gloves. Once I walked into a pharmacy, wherein the pharmacist was lecturing his employees on the importance of employing gloves to prevent the spread of sickness and disease.

Gloves must always be worn on basic errands or excursions into town. Our social engagements are not limited to evenings out with the hubbies. We also have women’s events that are required to boost the ties of Sisterhood and strengthen our Black families and community.

Here is a desultory list of concourse events that we should attend.

*Weddings

*Sunday Lunches al fresco

*Ladies Club & Restaurant Luncheons

*Afternoon Tea

*Shopping

*City Weekends / Country Weekends

*Daylight Dining

*Garden Parties

*Mornings In Town

*Horse Shows

*Tennis Matches

*Polo Races

Canasta

*Dominoes 😉

* * * * *

GLOVES

Here is a list of must-have gloves.

*kid or suede
*one-button
*slightly cuffed or slit at the wrists

FOR SUMMER

– short white gloves
– hand-stitched white pique linen, soft cotton or nylon jersey knit

– white capeskin for cooler days
(capeskin is a leather made from South African sheepskin)

FOR FALL

Natural peccary skin

Call me unobservant, Sisters, but I hardly looked at the picture next to these gloves. But I just learned that that is a PIG!

I should have know this society (white devil Caucasian) praises the filthy poison animal as there it were a god. They have several hundred foods with the poison swine or its byproducts under different names. We must be careful at all times. They slip it into everything, just to make us disobey the Divine Law of Allah (God) as they were made to do.

NEVER, NEVER, NEVER wear any type of skin belonging to the filthy poison pig/hog/swine family. Never use any type of product derived from these animals either (boar’s hair brushes for example.)

The hog is 1000 per cent poison and the Bible tells us not to even TOUCH its carcasses.

I emphatically apologize and implore you to purchase gloves using one of the many, many other animal or synthetic skins available.

or crocheted string and leather to be worn with tweed outfits.

HANDBAGS

Town” bags – small, leather bag always carried on the wrist,
held with bent arm near the hip as ornamentation.

Country weekends require a larger shoulder-strap bag or large tote

SHOES

As a general rule

DAYWEAR – MATCH SHOES WITH HANDBAG

EVENING – MATCH SHOES WITH DRESS FABRIC


But with sleeves……..

* * * * *

FOUNDATION GARMENTS

In order for our combinations to have the perfect fit and finish, we must begin with the proper foundation garments.

waist-liners

girdles

and brassiers (bras)

Nightgowns, slips and petticoats are considered as lingerie.

With pants-skirts, we should always wear a foundation of pettipants.

STOCKINGS

Always wear flesh-coloured stockings. Stockings are generally classified according to their denier and gauge, which indicates sheerness.

Lighter weight and tone are prevalent for evening wear.

* * * * *

Beloved and Beautiful Sisters, I realize that this was a rather lengthy entry, but appearance is crucial as it leaves a lasting impression that is very hard to alter once imprinted.

The garments that we are to wear for such auspicious occasions can be very costly (upwards of $2,500) if purchased Haute Couture (made to order). Naturally, our husbands will purchase it out of love for us, In Sha Allah (If it pleases Allah), but we are charged with the Divine Duty of being HELPMATES to our husbands – and not burdens.

I have written enough times to make you nauseous, on the import of knowing how to sew our own garments. With the Help of Allah and YouTube, anything you can conceive, you can achieve.

#1 – PURCHASE A SEWING MACHINE (If you haven’t already)

#2 Peruse magazines (or as we fashionistas refer to them “books“), Pinterest, Instagram, pattern books and wherever else you can find images of beautiful garments and settle on the BEST part.

Design clothes that you like, will flatter you and MAKE YOUR HUSBAND PROUD and then CREATE THEM!

We are GODDESSES, Sisters, endowed with the Supreme Ability and Power of CREATION. All we have to do is say “Be!” and it is.

الحَمْد لله

Let’s Get It In!

SEWING THE PANTS-SKIRT

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

MONEY GREEN SWEET PEA

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Sweet Asiatic Black Queens!

This is the style of dress that was given to the Blackwoman in America – the Queen of the Planet Earth – by Allah (God) through His Divine Messenger, The Most Honorable and Humble Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him).

We should all strive to dress in this manner. This is decent and intelligent. Our husbands are going to be the Rulers in the Next Life, Sisters. As their wives, we must always display the highest form of dress. The so-called Negroes are returning to our rightful place On Top of Civilization. We are the epitome of righteousness, to whom all nations of the Earth look up to.

Therefore, we must wear the Holy Garments that were Divinely Given To Us By OUR Leader, Allah, in the Person of Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praises are Due Forever.

As you can probably guess, you will not be able to go to the mall and find this garment. Actually, Sisters, Allah (God) Requires that we make all of our own clothes, our family’s clothes, house furnishings (pillows, curtains, tablecloths, etc.) ourselves. We must stop depending on our slavemaster and his children to provide us with these things, when we are perfectly capable of doing for self.

Number One – PURCHASE A SEWING MACHINE.

You can figure out how to make anything, Sisters. If you need help, utilize your resources. All sewing machines come with manuals. In addition to telling you how to use it, it will tell you what type of stitch to use on the different fabrics, how to sew a buttonhole, how to change the bulb and pretty much everything else. Anything not covered in the manual you can find on YouTube.

Practice makes perfect, Sisters. The more you sew, the more you will learn. Don’t be afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes are how we learn. Just get started. There are sewing kits that come with everything you need you can probably find one at Big Lots for under $20. They should come with scissors, a seam ripper, tape measure, needles, stick pins, probably a thimble, a hem measuring device and any assortment of implements.

The pants-skirt is very easy to make. If you look closely at the pictures, you will notice on the left side of the “skirt” it does not wrap all the way around. This is because it is actually a pair of very wide pants that is doubled over to give the appearance of a skirt.

We wear these because of the place where we live – America. The Black nation lives under the “shadow of death” here in the Wilderness of North America, therefore we must be prepared to defend ourselves, if attacked, at all times.

The pants-skirt gives our legs the freedom of movement that will allow us to kick an attacker effectively.

It is made with a yoke and either elastic around the waist or a zipper fastener. I use elastic because it is easier.

Here is the pattern:

pantskirt

It is cut off a little. The top line should read HIP Measurement + 1/2 in. (seam allowance). The yoke should be 10″ top to bottom. I would also add 2″ to the length instead of the 1/2″ seam allowance. I have found that it usually comes out too short.

To Sew:

Sew together the edges of each of the larger pieces. Turn the pieces right side out and attach the two pieces together where you “cut on the curve.” You will end up with one big pair of pants. In sha Allah (If it pleases Allah) I will post pictures (maybe even a video) the next time I make one.

Next, comes the tricky part. Lay your big pair of pants down and take the edge of the right side and fold it over to the middle of the front of the left side. Then take the edge of the left side and fold over to the middle of the back of the right side. It should look like a skirt now.

Next lay your yoke over the top of your skirt so that it can wrap around and meet in the back  The bottom of the yoke should be even with the top of the skirt so that after you pin it and sew it together, when you hold the skirt up, it should look something like this:

The InfoVisual.info site uses images to explain objects.

It won’t have the panels nor the fitted waist, but the yoke will be attached as shown.

Next fold over enough space around the top of the pants-skirt to insert elastic around the waist. Leave an opening and insert the elastic using two safety pins.

Lastly, hem the bottom of your pants-skirt and you’re done!

As far as the dress goes, I just found a long sleeved shirt with a long waist, laid it over some material, pinned it, cut around it, and sewed it back together. I’ve never used a pattern like you find in fabric stores. We can do anything we put our minds too, Sisters. We are GODDESSES. Tap into your creativity and you can make whatever you want.

Just make sure it is long enough to cover your behind, the sleeves are at least two inches past your elbow and the collar covers your neck and each piece is the same color.

Ideally, it should also have a Mandarin Collar.

These are our guidelines, Sisters. Just stick within these, and don’t be gaudy.

The headpiece is fairly simple to make as well. This is the basic design. It is two pieces. The top picture shows the outside. The bottom shows the inside and the attachment that is used to tie. If you look closely, you will see a line near the top. That shows the separation between the two pieces. You can draw patterns freehand. Just make sure the curved edges are congruent, so that when you sew them together, they will match up.

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*** ALL OF THESE ITEMS ARE AVAILABLE FOR PURCHASE ***

PANTS-SKIRT – $30
HEADPIECE – $10
DRESS – $40

(+S&H)

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HOW TO MAKE A BOW TIE

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Untitled

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Sisters of the Aboriginal Black Nation of the Planet Earth!

Beloved Sisters,

The bow tie is the distinguishing characteristic of a well-dressed man. Being Blackwomen, we should be skilled in the Art and Science of Sewing, so it is only natural that we should be knowledgeable in the science of how to sew a bow tie for the men in our family.

The Nation of Islam is well-known for the distinguished Brothers of The Fruit of Islam, whose uniforms consist of a bow tie, and who generally, wear bow ties with any suit.

The history behind the wearing of the bow tie, as opposed to a long necktie, is due to an event in our Nation’s history during which some devils entered one of our Mosques and attempted to HANG ONE OF THE BROTHERS with his own necktie!

Suffice it to say, Our Beloved Messenger, The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) advised the Brothers to wear bow ties instead. And why not? They look much better than an ordinary necktie, which is why the bow tie is the tie of choice to be worn with tuxedos.

Here is a video from one of our Sisters, instructing us on how to make a bow tie from the scraps left over after hemming our men’s dress pants! So they will have a bow tie to match! I would not be surprised if she used to be in the Nation. I have heard a Brother say that his mother used to do the same thing.