You Can See Forever….

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم






As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beautiful and Beloved Asiatic Black Bebies!

How was your A.J. Day WEEKEND?!!?!?!?!?

A.J. Day was Saturday, but I was niggardly and didn’t buy the Lindt chocolate I was supposed to have to celebrate with on Saturday, so I extended it to include Sunday too and just had the first A.J. Day Weekend!!! Al Hamdulillah!!! I hope you had as good a time as I had! Allahu Akbar!

In college, I studied Journalism and as opposed to storytelling where you build up to the apex of a story, in Journalism, you are supposed to hit straight for the most important part of the story first, so I’m going to begin with the most important part of A.J. Day Weekend for me.

Last night, I had a good time on the Promenade. I noticed something that had escaped me before. Remember I told you about Sheharazad and the other Arabian singer? Well, two more Arabian acts were there this weekend. A female and a live guitarist and drummer band.

They have by far the best and most popular entertainment on the whole Promenade and I told you over seventy-five per cent of the patrons are Middle Eastern. So you know I just love it there.

BUT what I noticed last night is that the Muslim women who are dressed like me (covered) know the songs, tip the performers and videotape the performances, but they NEVER dance.

The women who dance know the songs and do all the above, BUT they look like Americans. They don’t cover. They usually have on shorts and tank tops and look just like all other American women.

This struck me as kind of disappointing because I love to dance and I know how to dance like the women who dance, but I can’t because I am representing Islam and although I pick up on some Islamic terms in the music, I don’t think it is representing Allah and Islam in an entirely positive way.

Here is what I think.

The Muslim women know how to dance like the other women but we only do it in private.

I was reading a book I picked up for free at a giveaway at the Library. It was a book I had heard of but had never read. I stopped reading it after I was reminded why I try to steer clear of anything produced by devils.

But anyway, the book talked about two kinds of women: prostitutes and decent women.

That’s about all there is. Either you are one or the other.

The decent women cover and don’t dance in public.

The prostitutes come out half-dressed (or covered) and don’t carry themselves in a modest fashion, i.e. dancing in public.

I understand why it is best not to cross the line because one of the women who was dancing, did it in an acceptable manner (imo) but there was another woman who just looked slutty.

Another thing I observed is that the older women danced better.

I think it is because of experience.

But another thing that held the younger women back is that they are Americanized. I felt sorry for them because you could see they felt the pull of the culture but it just wasn’t in them like it was in the older women. When they tried to do the dances, it didn’t look as natural as it did for the older women.

So, I left the Promenade earlier than usual, and went to see what was cracking on the Pier.

I’m so thankful for Lulu. She makes getting around so much EASIER and more convenient. If I didn’t have her, I probably would have just pushed to the spot.

The Pier was cool. But at night, I like the Promenade better. The people are more refined on The Promenade because there are nothing but shops so you have to have some ends.

The Pier is more for children, with Pacific Park and whatnot.

The Pier at night is more beautiful than in the daytime, however.  And I like to “read” the lights on the ferris wheel. They’re different every night.

The Promenade is better for the performers. The patrons are more apt to tip since the Promenade is designed for spending money. At least, that’s been my observation.

The musical artists on the Pier seem to be there more for atmospheric background music accompanying all that water.

It’s interesting but The Pier seems to have it’s own type of music. It’s like world music and “meditation” type music. The musicians play foreign instruments like sitars and whatnot.

Sometimes it creeps me out because it is eerily close to Buddhism or at least it feels like it to me. But Islam is first and everything good in any religion originated with Islam – like Tai Chi and meditation, so I’m sure that that type of music is in there too.

So, I had a good time on the Pier and then decided to push to the spot.

I got there but didn’t feel like sleeping. So whenever I don’t feel like sleeping, I don’t sleep. I don’t care what time it is nor how long I’ve been awake. If I’m not sleepy, that means I don’t need to sleep.

I’m not taking sleeping pills just because I’m not sleepy and everybody else thinks I’m supposed to sleep.

If I’m not sleepy that means, I’m supposed to be doing something else.

A lot of people who suffer from “mental illness” don’t sleep at the designated times.

It has something to do with melatonin.

One of the first things the psychiatrist asks is “Are you sleeping okay?”

I know many people who stay awake for three to five days at a time.

If the doctors really wanted to help, they would see the connection between this length of time and the typically prescribed “72-hour hold” which is generally how long an episode lasts.

But Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Does Not Sleep At All. And we are Gods and Goddesses, so we should not think it is unusual for us to not sleep as well.

The dominant society just wants to slow us down and nothing except death is slower than sleep.

So, as we say in the Hip-Hop Community “Don’t SleepLITERALLY.

So, I was also feeling a deep longing for Beaux. (That’s my new name for Zawji. 😀 I’ve always liked that name for a big strong handsome man. Bo’s are always big, strong and handsome except for Bo Buchanon who used to be on “One Life To Live” (IMO) but he was one of the stars of the show.

I’ve like that name since “Bonanza.” LOL I’m sorry but I’m from the Wild Wild West and I can’t help it but I like cowboys. I used to like the theme song from that show. Let me see if I can find it. I liked “Little Jo” too. He died in the same hospital as I was giving birth to my firstborn. 😦 R.I.P. “Pa” Even though he was a devil.) Hoss was cool but ugly. I guess he was the DUFF.





Then one time I was coming home from New Orleans and I met this guy named Bo from Atlanta. He was big, strong and handsome. Man, I love that name. But I like to spell it Beaux, like they would in New Orleans. Or Beau, like they would in Paris.)

So anyway, I was really missing Beaux last night. And I haven’t really thought about him in that way and haven’t written too much about him either. So, even though when I was in jail, I had resigned myself to fall back, I decided to send him a text.

I didn’t really know what to say. It was like 11:30 and I debated whether to send it at all, since it was so late. But you know I’m crazy, right? So that’s never stopped me before. I just debated what to send and decided to just be honest and wrote, “Just thinking about you…

Now, sometimes I get messages from other dimensions and I got one that told me he got my text. And I was happy so I sent an emoji blowing a kiss.

Then why did I get a text from him???!!!!!

I was like OMG!!! This is major! Although I didn’t really trip. I think I’m cool after all this time. I’ve been texting and e-mailing him for over three years and in all that time only got one response. (Which I don’t even think was from him. I had just gotten him fired from his job and he let Malik cuss me out LOL)

So when I got the text, I think I may have been in shock.

I wasn’t sure how I felt.

Usually I ask Allah.

But I didn’t think to ask last night.

Allah Told Me Don’t Say Anything.

So I didn’t.

Fake world A.J. replied and I want to hear from Beaux.

So, I let the music respond for him.




I felt so good.

Then this came on. But the Internet Gods were in an uproar because of his text and I didn’t hear it until this morning. Same message. Just delayed.


I went to sleep.

Allah Told Me Don’t Respond So I Didn’t Want To Make Being Obedient Difficult.

I saw a little ladybug crawling on the park bench I was going to go to sleep on. And I just played with him/her and thought about what had just happened.

I didn’t tell you what he wrote.

I guess I’ll put it for my and posterity’s sake. So when I’m rereading this in one, two, ten, twenty or a hundred years I won’t have to try and do the impossible and remember what he wrote. Although…. 😉

Anyway, He wrote, “I have no idea who this is.

This pleases you haters. But I know that which you do not know.

I thought about things I could reply but Allah Is The Best Knower. And I submit to His Infinitely Wise Will.

Beaux knows exactly who I am. But he is not who sent that text. A.J. sent that b.s.. But Allah Is All-Knowing and All-Wise so I Hear and Obey.

I think I know what I’m going to reply, but that’s if my phone and the Internet Gods allow me to. LOL

I’ll let you know how it goes, In Sha Allah.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Ordinarily, I would just leave the blog as it is but sometimes, a lot of times, I do things that no one but I understand, and then when I go back and read it later, I exercise my brain by trying to remember what I meant when I wrote what I wrote.

But, I don’t want to do that with this one.

So, I’m going to explain.

When I woke up this morning on the park bench in the park, and opened my eyes, I was met with the most beautiful sight in the world – a clear blue sky and sunshine.

That feeling has been with me all day.

I wasn’t even disappointed that I missed the Sunrise. Sometimes the Sunrise is not even that beautiful. But when I woke up this morning!

The first thing that popped into my head was the video I posted at the top. I know they’re devils but I grew up in America…

Anyway, when I went to type the blog, “On A Clear Day” was what Allah (swt) Seemed to Want me to post. But I had posted that before I think. At least, I know I posted it on Facebook.

So, at first I had both. Then I deleted the Clear Day.

But kept the title.

So to help you, who may not be as into music as I am, understand the relationship between the title of the blog and the opening video, as well as what a beautiful day I’m having (and hope you are too 🙂 ) I’m going to post “On A Clear Day As Well.” Enjoy.

I like this one better though 😉

Oh my God. One time I was at the World Stage and I was going to sing this and the trio started off so good (swinging!) and I got through the first 32 bars LOVING IT!!! Then someone came and said they had to close early. SMH. Only me….

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I was going to write about the Farmer’s Market in Samo this weekend, but there isn’t really too much to say except it was dope, better than dtla and I got some bomb food.

I have video of this singer I want to post later, In Sha Allah.

She was French and her guitar was dope.

But I really want to fill you in on what happened after I got out of jail.

I wasn’t going to say anything but when I wrote about what happened to my laptop, I think there might be some confusion. So, I want to relate what happened.

I got out of jail, didn’t have any money, or else I was going to buy new everything.

But since I didn’t have any money, I HAD to go back to the house to get the stuff I left (my computer and sleeping bag).

So, I go back to this quiet little neighborhood in the Malibu Hills and I kind of had a feeling I might run into the man who ran me out of the house.

I had on the same thing and I was on foot.

Sure enough, I see the car he was driving and he was following me.

I turned around and started walking towards his car. He keeps driving and passes me up.

So, I turn back around now that he’s gone and continue walking towards the house.

To make a long story short (it’s almost Suppertime 😉 )

I went to the house and he was out there with some more evil hateful devils and started recording me on his phone.

I asked “Where is that white girl?

One of the other devils mockingly said, “WHAT white girl?

So, then I was like whatever and started walking away.

The devil who ran me out the first time was still recording but get this. He starts reciting John 3:16.

I was like, “For real?” SMH

But I keep walking.

Then he repeats it. And I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said loudly, “THAT’S A LIE!”

A. God does not have a son
B. He is all-powerful and doesn’t have to kill anybody just to forgive your sins.

So anyway, I went around the corner, called the Sheriffs, and they came and got my stuff.

I just thought it was interesting that that devil would start quoting the Bible.

If you don’t think we are living in The Holy Spiritual War of ARMAGEDDON, you’ve got another “think” coming.


Housewife? Me?

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

It’s funny, I never thought I would look at homemaking as not being enough for me.

But when you say “housewife” it sounds different.

I’ve always said I was a Homemaker because I wasn’t a housewife.

I always thought I did the same things though.

I think housewife is like a homemaker but you have a boss (your husband)

That makes it more difficult.

You have somebody to answer to whereas before I could do what I wanted when I wanted as long as it got done.

Homemaking/Housewifing is like a career. It takes up all your time.

I was just free to blog because I didn’t have a husband to look after. I guess the blog took up that space in my life.

So earlier when I realized I won’t be writing this blog once I get married, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is my career.

And all I ever talk about is how women need to give up their careers when they get married and focus on their husband and his clothes and food and house and children, but when it comes to actually DOING it it’s a whole different story.

I never realized it but this blog is my LIFE!

Ask my son.

Once I started, maybe it started with facebook. But I know I started spending a lot of time on the computer whereas before I didn’t.

I let the children influence me. THEY were always on the phone so I thought that was the thing to do.

So, I started finding stuff to do online.

Myspace not so much.

However, once I asked my daughter if she knew how to get in touch with me in case of an emergency and she said, “Myspace?” So maybe I was on it more than I realize.

My roommate is going to be 76 next month and her days consist of sitting in a chair, eating, using the bathroom and answering the door when one of us comes home. Nobody has a key and I think that’s why. Our landlord wants to give her something to do.

But that’s how I think my days will be if I stop blogging.

Twiddling my thumbs.

I see how Zawji is doing it. We’re speeding up though.

He got me off fliers just about a month ago. It was All-Star Weekend. It was a couple days before the game and I think the game was on the 18th, if I’m not mistaken. I can G it but it’s not that serious.

Point is, he’s speeding up.

Today is the 28th. Wow! I haven’t been to sleep but it’s just after twelve, so I can’t even say it’s the 27th. See what I’m sayin’?

One month and twelve days since I stopped spreading the blog.

Now I’m getting ready to stop blogging altogether.

I think he wants me to stop for awhile before we get together to get used to it.

He took my fliers before I knew I was ready.

I, virtually, had stopped making them and wasn’t really handing them out anyway.

I was just making them to practice writing with my right hand and was about to start back passing them out and accidentally left them on a bench, I think.

Benches are very significant to me and Zawji.

We walk alot and go to parks and there are always benches.

We have always sat on benches.

He has a bench swing in his downtown loft which is perfect for us.

You know how I love to swing and a bench would seat both of us together.

I can’t wait.

This house he wanted to give me had a bench in the backyard. But the swing is better.

But anyway, I accidentally, left the bag of fliers on the bench. I think.

And haven’t made another one since.

As much as I talk about homemaking, I never knew I was a career woman.

Until I was thinking about actually stopping blogging.

Then the word Career popped into my mind and Giving it up too

And it hit me really hard.

I’m changing directions.

I think about the two Angels who rented me this place.

She just came out to meet me and convince me to take it

BUT he does all the work.

I think about helping other women.

Sometimes it takes a woman to help a woman.

We can have been really abused by men and are skeptical of their help so Allah sends us female Angels to do the job of raising up us into Angels to marry an Angel.

I know I have raised some women into Angels with this blog










So, I’m going to try and make this my last blog, Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black People.

You know how my life is though. I said I’m going to TRY.

See how it feels to not have a blog anymore.

I mean it’s still mine technically.

I might even still pay to keep the ads off for awhile.

Maybe I’ll nah, that’s too much like a career.

I was going to say publish it into a hardcopy but that’s work and the point is to give up working and focus on Zawji completely.

So, if this and I think it is, my last blog,

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. I’m sorry you won’t be privy to the affairs of my life anymore. Just know that I married Zawji and we lived happily ever after.

Basketball & Love

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

So, I just watched it again.

I took my daughter to see it when it first came out – before I became Muslim. Muslims don’t go to the devils’ shows.

But I just watched it on YouTube and I remember thinking awhile back – after I became Muslim – that it seemed so BACKWARDS when at the end of the movie SHE was on the basketball court and HE was sitting on the sideline with the baby.

I know it’s not just me anymore, because I’ve seen so much progress, but doesn’t that seem so backwards! He should be on the court – if anybody’s going to be playing professional basketball – and SHE should be on the sidelines – like he said in the beginning – cheering him on with the baby.

But that’s America.

Another thing I really didn’t like was how unappreciative she was of her mother’s love for her father.

The first time I watched it, it’s obvious when he comes in and asks his wife to iron both his shirts for him. I’m not even going to mention how she was already slacking because they should not even have been in the closet if they weren’t ironed already.

But Monica seemed embarrassed that her mother was ironing her father’s shirts!

Then to top it off, when they do finally discuss how Monica felt about her mother being a housewife, her mother doesn’t defend herself by telling her daughter how much she loves her father and that she would do anything to make him happy – she starts talking about how she “gave up on her dreams because she got pregnant!!!!!!”

I mean really, can’t a woman love her husband so much that she is happy taking care of him. Why we gotta have a side hustle??? (the origin of that phrase was a topic on today so sorry not sorry just seemed to fit. 😉 ) Why can’t we just be happy cooking and cleaning and doing our husband’s laundry and making sure his children always have homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk after school??? Why we gotta have some kinda career too??? SMH

I mean Heaven for a woman should be making Heaven for her husband.

Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) said “A woman is the only heaven a man has.

Why is this not enough for some of us?

Heaven is a way of life. And your home should be Heaven for your family. It is a woman’s responsibility to be her husband’s Heaven. When you have knowledge of self it makes you happy to do these things for him. Especially when he is providing you with a big house in Baldwin Hills. 😉

She should have taught her daughters how to be happy being housewives. I mean the older daughter seemed to get it and some people are just cut from a different cloth but she should not have let her youngest daughter play with boys to begin with. Then she wouldn’t have gotten that cut on her face.


I love to play basketball too but now that I’m a Muslim, I understand that sport and play are only for exercise and to learn the value of teamwork.

I would never play in front of strange men out in the public but get me in a girls’ gym and I will show you I got game.

Her mistake was putting basketball in front of the needs of her man and she paid dearly for it. She lost him. She got him back but not until she stopped playing. Then they had her playing again because the WNBA was new back then and I think that was the whole reason for the movie in the first play tbh.

I know why I had to watch this movie though. Zawji wanted me to see I should never put anything before him. Especially not this blog.

I didn’t even know I was doing it. He said that was why I came to New Orleans prematurely. To spread the blog. And now I realize it’s true. Because people in L.A. were telling me I had already given them a flier and that had never happened before and when I got to NO that’s all I was doing – spreading the blog.

I can’t remember the last time I gave out a flier.

Ironically, I lost the bag that I had them all in a while back and I knew that means it’s time out for handing out fliers. I never said anything about it because it didn’t seem like a big deal. I guess it was pretty mager though.

I’ve been handing out fliers since about 2013 I guess. Four years of doing something becomes more than a habit. It’s a way of life.

But when you get married, your spouse becomes your way of life at least for women. Men have businesses that they have to think about too. But women, our whole LIFE should be about our husband and making his home Heaven. Maybe that’s why WIFE sounds so much like LIFE. You’re a W-oman whose L-ife is dedicated to her husband = Wife.

I don’t know what else to do but write right now. I really don’t have anything ELSE to do. I think he’s weaning me off of writing. Because I’ve stopped spreading the blog. Every now and then he will tell me to tell someone about it but I don’t hand out fliers anymore.

I have the Sweetest Most Beneficent and Merciful Zawji in the Universe. He makes everything easy for me and does things in the Best Possible Way.

Funny, I just felt like making fliers. I haven’t felt like that since about last year. I used to sit up all night making fliers. I don’t sleep much anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. I guess that was like my career – spreading the blog. I’m having a hard time. Realizing I’m actually giving it up. I guess deep down I thought I would pick it up again. But Zawji says I’m retired. I’m hanging up my Chux. Literally. I wear Vans now. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky that you’ve found out about my blog. If anybody else finds out about it it won’t be because they got a flier from me. That makes me kinda sad. I feel like it’s the end of an era. Like Kobe retiring. I wonder what he’s doing nowadays. I wonder if he still plays. I mean I’m sure he has a gym on his property but how often does he go out there and shoot-around? He should coach or something. Maybe be an announcer – SOMETHING! Okay, I just G’d Kobe Bryant and this is what he’s doing. I’m a little disappointed because I’m living in the Hereafter where there are nothing but light musings and the Black Mamba seems more focused on the negative. :/ I wouldn’t even have talked about it except to say don’t even think about it. 🙂 And this is for children! I would tell children. Your thoughts determine your reality. Just think positive all the time. I like Shaq’s “TWISM” doctrine better. Don’t worry! Be Happy!

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I’ve kept a journal all my life. That’s all this is now. Just my diary. It’s just public now.

That will stop too once I start living the life of a real housewife. Maybe.

I’m just going to have to budget my writing time. We can be like Shelby and whatever her name was and I can write while Zawji cooks. Ah I’m feeling stress. I like to write when I like to write and that can be any time of the day or night. I guess that’s why we’re not together yet.

Someone told me I have this to do and that’s why we couldn’t be together. That was somewhat of a shock to me but it was true. I wanted to be with a lot of brothers but after a while I started spreading the blog again. And then problems arose.

I guess that’s why Zawji had me stop spreading the blog before we get together so it won’t be a problem later. He says writing the blog is not a problem. It was the spreading the blog because I had to be out too much. He says it wasn’t even the talking to Brothers – not with him – because he’s secure. It’s just that I’m supposed to be in the house.

Now, that I’m climbing out of the homeless dugout, I’m spending more time at home. I just go to certain events and that’s only every once in a while. I used to go to the library everyday. I take walks every now and then but I’m not out in the street all day.

I even made some bean soup ON THE STOVE!!!!

I’ve never done that in my life!!! It came out really good too. The beans taste creamier than in the Crock Pot. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t had any bean soup since last September. Wow! It seems like at least a year. It wasn’t as bad as people make it seem. I didn’t even have to add any more water. I did watch it like a hawk though. And, I didn’t even have to do all that. But I wanted it to come out good.

Anyway, I think I’m getting myself ready to stop blogging.

That means you gotta get ready too.

I remember when Living Single was talking about going off the air and everybody protested so they kept it on but it was boo-boo.

I can’t go out like that.

You gotta know when to hang up your Chux and retire.

But let me go back to this movie.

I have to say something about Q’s mother.

I knew she wasn’t right when his father said she tricked him into thinking she could bake with the old “fake n bake” acting like she baked that cake. I mean really! How hard is it to bake a cake. Even some little girl baked my son a cake for his birthday and she was like 13! That’s just lazy and deceptive and she got everything she deserved when she couldn’t keep him in the house with her. He didn’t want her. She tricked him into marrying her and she had the type of marriage that results from trickery.

Don’t ever do that Sisters.

This Brother told me about a Sister who did some voodou to keep him coming around and he said he hated every minute of it. He ended up finding out about what she did and fixed it and freed himself. But Sisters, if a man doesn’t want you at the moment, if it’s meant to be it will. Just be patient.

Don’t trap him into something he’s not ready for.

A lot of times Sisters get pregnant and the Brother feels obligated to do the right thing but that should not be the reason you get married. That’s what happened to my parents and I guess I should be glad they got married, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but don’t have sex before you get married.

Do everything the right way. COURT. Don’t have boyfriends and girlfriends. It makes everything so right and exact. You won’t have to trap him because he wouldn’t be courting you if he doesn’t want to marry you.

And if the Brother you want doesn’t seem interested pray and ask Allah if he is the one. If Allah Says yes, be patient and keep chaste. He WILL Come Around.

My life bears witness and we’re not there yet but soon come. 😀

A Dream… A Simple Fantasy…

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

This was the song everybody who thought they could sing would sing back in the day LOL

Twelve-years-old singing about lost love. SMH

Foreshadowing though. I learned about that when I was twelve too.

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Anyway, I just had a dream that was a Matrix. It was real. Zawji fixed it so I didn’t die.

I saw Ivan on the train (always traveling). He had a girlfriend. She tried to give him her Day Pass but the jerk train driver was hating like the ones out here. I will never understand why they are such jerks especially considering how much money these tourists pay to ride the streetcar. That St. Charles is always so packed, I rather take the bus. Those tourists pay enough so that every local should be able to ride free but the drivers are such jerks, they will stop the bus/train until you get off if you are a penny short. I can only narrow it down to the fact that Southern Blacks are just in love with the slavemaster. *sigh*

Anyway, he paid and got on and knew everybody on the train. We were all into music in some way or another. I asked him how was his father although I’ve never met his father. I just know he’s a Junior and that Ivan, Sr. is a musician.

Hey, I have a cousin who named her son Ivan and he is a Junior!

So, the train is going and it’s supposed to be somewhere near the Fox Hills Mall or whatever they changed the name to, and as we near I notice there is a construction truck out of control near the train tracks. So the train driver starts going fast trying to get past the out of control truck while it was out of the way but the truck had messed up the track already and I found out later we crashed and I died, but Zawji changed the Matrix so that it just skipped and everybody was off the train and I started running up the hill to get away from the out of control truck. And everybody who was previously watching the out-of-control truck decided to do like me and run for their own lives. I guess they never considered the truck could come their way.

I took off my backpack so that I could run faster.

I didn’t even worry about it. Sacrifice.

Sometimes people carry bags to symbolize people they’re not with. This bag was white and blue and I guess symbolized Zawji. That’s why I wasn’t worried about it because it was supposed to be Black.

I always carry a Black bag. I think that’s a little Bohemian in me…

So, I didn’t die.

But I got visited by two female Angels in real life.

Some wicked old witch told me Angels can’t be females.

But we have to have female Angels. Otherwise, who are the male Angels going to marry???

One of the Angels told me to “Keep the Faith” and that I am a Beautiful Person.

I didn’t really pay attention to the Beautiful Person part right away. It’s hard to accept compliments sometimes. But Brother Bill said if you are going to be famous you have to be able to accept a lot of compliments or something like that.

So the Second Angel told me to “STAY STRONG”

Zawji and I came really close to getting together in this dream but I messed up as usual.

WE have to be one hundred per cent Right and Exact. So, the Angels advice really came in handy.

I was at somebody’s house oh, my friend who doesn’t have any children in real life, had a baby and the baby was in a terrible condition. She wanted to wash her face and my friend was too lazy to wash the baby’s face. Wait a minute, that was another dream.

This dream I was at a party and all the people from the train were there but my Best Friend Erika was there too and Bill Nunn, but he was Zawji’s Best Friend in the dream, which is crazy because Brother Bill is dead in real life but in the dream, no it wasn’t Bill Nunn it was one of his Doppelgangers, I think. But anyway, he was young like Radio Rahim and he was Zawji’s Best Friends.

WE were at some type of radio station and there was music everywhere. There were some homosexuals there too though. They were sickening. Jamie Foxx had a show and I told him to play California Here I Come by Ray Charles. He played it.

So, the homosexuals messed it up for me.

There was some type of movie playing but it was like we were in it even though it was about a white family on some deserted vacation beach.

So anyway, they showed me I messed up using my friend Tracy Jones (yes, the actress – maybe that’s why they used her LOL). I ended up getting distracted by another man, right when Zawji was going to surprise and propose to me.

So, we’ve got to try again.

I decided to just stay where I am.

I mean, I’m always so quick to run from a situation. I’m trying to learn how to just wait on Zawji. I’m so used to doing everything and making stuff happen.

I run when I don’t have anything else to do. My son didn’t call me Impatientifah for nothing. But I think I’m just going to stay put for once.

That means I can’t buy my son his Alligator stuff. Not yet anyway. Whenever I get too much money I start buying clothes. But this time I’m going to pay rent and try and keep a roof over my head.

This is supposed to be a fresh start for me so I’ve got to keep going. I am going to try to keep going forward and not backwards (homeless)


Old Brazilian Freak

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

Oh My God.

Why did I finally go see the spot the lady was trying to rent to me and got totally freaked out.

Okay, when I got there I wasn’t sure how to get in so I called her and asked her to come to the door (wherever it was).

So, I see the screen door on the side of the house open behind the wooden gate and went nearer to it so I could be let in.

Why did this old freak open the wooden gate and all she had on was a short pink bathrobe???

I was like, “This how ya’ll do in Brazil?

She was like, (in a thick Portuguese accent) “Well, I was home and I wasn’t doing nothing so I didn’t see any need to get dressed.

I’m thinking, Even though we just arranged for me to come see your spot?

Old Freak

So, that’s the main reason I’m not taking it but let me show you what it was like

She had birds, fish and two dogs.

Now, I like animals too but there’s a place for them.

My accommodations were just like in the video. Very dirty.

The floor was shiny and smooth cement. I was pretty but not cozy like a home is supposed to be. It was more like a community center floor.

When she said it was a garage, she wasn’t kidding. But I was thinking a clean garage. She had stuff EVERYWHERE, kids bikes, Christmas decorations and all kinds of stuff EVERYWHERE. It was filthy. I couldn’t believe she was actually renting it out. $300 is expensive for something like that but it’s New Orleans. Everywhere in New Orleans is overpriced.

I know I told you already the houses in New Orleans are built so that you have to go through everybody’s room to get to the kitchen and the bathroom, so I would have had to go through this little old lady freak’s room to go take a shower and cook.

Granted there was a powder room but I already told you how religious it is for me to make ablutions.

THEN when she was showing me the room, she said that the bed was really soft and comfortable so I went and tested it with my hand first, then sat down.

Why did this little old freak come and sit down next to me on the bed???

Now, I’m from the society of TRAVELERS where everybody has been to jail and that is something you just do not do!!!

I got the hell out of there after that.

Remember I said it would have to be pretty bad for me to say no because I’ve slept in a horse stable.

The only thing better about this place was that it had plumbing.

But plumbing isn’t everything.

I would rather be homeless than live in that type of wicked environment.

And she has grandchildren!!! SMH

So, I don’t’ remember where I was going last time I wrote, but it looks like California Here I Come

Three years ago….

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

I drew the picture and the lady called me earlier.

I would post the picture but the one I uploaded on facebook, I forgot to color your bowtie. And I think the other one hasn’t uploaded yet. Let me check BRB NOPE Can’t even copy the one up there Oh well.

It came out really good too. Makes me feel all lovey-dovey inside.

Nobody commented.

That’s a good sign.

Whenever nobody comments that means they are really impressed and speechless.

I’m proud of myself. Not boastful. But I feel good that you and Allah allowed me to create such a beautiful piece of artwork. I made it my profile picture if anyone wants to see it. Click here.

The only thing is, I didn’t make you as tall as you are in real life.

You are about the height, maybe a little taller, that you’ve always been.

In the picture you can’t bend down and put your chin on top of my head like you did in real life.

I’m STILL trippin’ about that and it’s been THREE years.

I was just thinking about that this morning.

I posted something on facebook last year about something I posted three years ago.

It was March 24, 2014.

That was the last time we’ve seen each other in person.

I remember like it was yesterday.

You were so handsome and scary! You came stomping out the back and I was petrified. I could not move, then you looked and saw it was me and your handsome face lit up with that beautiful smile that is reserved for me. I love you. I miss you too.

It doesn’t seem like three years.

I think about my life back then and I was consumed with you.

I heard a song this morning that I used to listen to on my playlist when I used to catch the bus up to your plantation and it took me right back there. I was sitting on the bus again.

It used to take TWO HOURS to get there.

I didn’t have anything else to do though and I really enjoyed the trip.

I love catching the bus.

I love catching cabs.

I love taking the train (metro not Amtrak – at least I don’t think so – who knows? I never thought I would love taking the metro either. I just can’t do the subway. I don’t trust myself after that suicide attempt.)

I love flying.

I love traveling.

Cars? Sometimes. Depends on who’s in there with me.

I love bicycling.

I love walking.

That’s it.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

The Sister called me about the room











I feel like, landlords play too many games.

I guess it’s the same with any type of barter.

Everybody wants the upper hand.

Well, I might call her next week.

I realized, I have too many options to play her games.

I’m starting to want to go back to L.A.

The only thing making me want to stay here is

The Dental School.


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m trying to wait until four to eat.

I have only had some milk and honey today


My eating habits have gotten so bad since…

I guess, since I’ve been homeless.

I use the traveling excuse




I feel like I’m traveling


This is not really home.

I won’t be home until I’m in the home you made for us.

Now “Home in a minute” just came on.

😉 😉 😉

I can’t bring myself to post it.

It’s kinda filthy and I can’t let people know I listen to that type of music.


Low Key


I can’t wait to order Ibni’s clothes.

The jacket came up while I was on Facebook.

I think he’s avoiding me so he won’t make me mad and I change my mind


Smart boy.

He knows me. 🙂

Well, I guess that’s all





Won’t know where I’m going to be next month


In Sha Allah

I just know I’m going to have fun!!!

“Life is a PLAYGROUND!!!”

It’s funny because He said “park”

I didn’t call it a playground back then.

I used to call playgrounds “parks”

But I have since learned that there is a difference.

Not all parks have playgrounds, unfortunately.

That makes me feel sad for our children.

All you can do is toss a football or play tag, which is fun

But what if you don’t have a ball

Or are all by yourself???

There’s nothing to do but sit in the grass.

And what child just wants to sit in the grass???

I learned on A.J. Day that playgrounds are probably the most fun you can have for free in the world

And Our Saviour wants us to have fun all our lives.

That’s Heaven.

I love you I love yo I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you Il ove you I love you I love you I loveyou I love you Il ove you Iloveyou I lvoe you I lov eyou I lov eyou I love you I love you I love you I love you i love ou I love you I love you I loveyou I loveyou I loveyou I love you Il ovey  Ouio I louve ou

This was so weird because it’s centered.

But it was still fun.

Okay, I think the dryers almost done with my roommates shoes in it and I want to record the rain.

I don’t really have too much to say (Who is that? Salt n Pepa?)

I really don’t have too much to say…

Now I gotta G it


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to document our third anniversary since we haven’t seen each other SMH


See, this is why I love writing.

It’s time for me to eat now.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

If anybody out there is trying to eat one meal a day,

Just find something else to do.

It will take your mind off your hunger











And you can eat!!!

Which is what I’m about to do.

Oh yeah,

I tried to record the rain


My phone be trippin, right?

Just keep finding something to do until it’s time to eat


I’m going to warn you

If you’re just sitting in front of the idiot box, you’re going to want to eat.

You have to do some type of activity

Like writing or art, playing an instrument, create something, take a walk…

Until it’s time to eat!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

SisterCaptain’s Blog ٣٧

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Please Click On The Book Cover Below And Purchase And Read The Following Book



March 23, 2017

11:46 A.M.A.D.- JAMAL


As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Babies

I really didn’t want to blog.

I wanted to write Zawji







It’s harder because I can’t really be as completely open and free as when I write him. I have to guard my revelations a little when I write for the public. You understand.

But, it’s good I guess.

I reread my messages to him more than I reread old blogs though.

I think he just wants me to tell the world how I feel about him. LOL

Everybody knows I love him more than life itself.

Or at least you do if you’ve ever ready my blog.

If this is your first one, let me fill you in.

I fell in love in 1979 with a boy who sent me an “I like you, do you like me? Yes? No?” note. We were in the same class and I know I checked Yes because I liked him. Still do. A few years ago, Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Told Me this boy, who was now a man, is my soulmate, or as we say in Arabic – ZAWJI – which officially translates to husband, but I like to say “my everything a man can be to a woman” He is my Brother; my Provider; my Protector; my Baby; my Daddy, and my Husband…
So Cheah…

He Wants Me To Write You…

It’s so funny because two days ago I was planning to move back to L.A. next month, but yesterday (A.J. Day) was so eventful, I might be staying in New Orleans.

I really hadn’t resigned myself to moving to L.A. yet, so it’s all good.

I’m really feeling New Orleans and although I’m not as close to The French Quarter as I would like to be, I’m close enough to go to The Jazz Playhouse any night of the week. Also Lebanon’s Cafe… I still want to see Papa Ellis at Snug Harbor too although I’m not anxious to see devils in his band.

That’s the reason why I left the Congo Square thing.

It’s nauseating.

I have no tolerance for it, I’m learning.

So, I don’t know.

The last time I went to The Playhouse, I ended up leaving before the band even started their set because they had a devil in the band and I couldn’t stomach it.

I don’t know if I’m ever, well I did get to see a good show at the Congo Square thing unexpectedly and the children’s bands were all Black. That is very encouraging.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

In sha Allah, I’m going to see the lady’s house this afternoon.

It will have to be pretty bad for me to refuse.

I’ve lived in a horse stable. LOL

But I loved being so close to the horses.

They’re so sweet.

That’s another thing good about staying in NOLA.

I’m going to miss Ibni but last time I was in L.A., I didn’t see him once. So cheah.

I told him I was going to buy him a alligator shirt and he said “Those shirts are expensive” and I thought he meant to say them you-know-whats are expensive LOL

It’s funny because I used to always dress him in polo shirts and expensive Kangols now I can get him the expensive polo shirts too. I guess I’ll get him a Kangol too. I want to get him an alligator jacket and shoes but I don’t think he’ll like the shoes. The jacket yes.

He’s so cute.

Well, that’s all really. I just wanted to write about going to see the Sister’s house. I really hope I can stay in New Orleans. It’s the greatest city in the world.

Sorry Zawji. I know you love L.A.

You can make me love L.A. when you feel like it, but I’m not feeling it, so I think you want me to stay in Nola. Today anyway.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

3:09 p.m.

Before I moved into this new place, the owner said it was time for me to forge ahead with life. Or something like that.

Like it’s time to settle down and stop being homeless, moving from shelter to street to street to shelter to street.

At least that’s what I took it to mean.

I agreed.

That’s why I’m here.

I could just have easily gone back to the street but it’s so STRESSFUL.

I agreed to a ROOMMATE!

Which is something I thought I would never do.


I’ve really grown since my last fight, I believe anyway.

But it’s starting to look like, and I don’t want to speak prematurely, but it looks like I may have found another place without ever having to have a roommate.

I still have about a week and a half before I get my check and can move but I think I would be okay with a roommate especially now knowing my time is so short. I could do a week and a half, In sha Allah.

This living with a devil is really getting on my nerves.

Admittedly, it’s better than last time.

I think I know them a little better.

That doesn’t mean she’s any less annoying and vindictive but I’m better able to cope.

Again, a week and a half.

People always try to test me.

See how much I can stand.

But my teacher taught me that the righteous are like water. It takes 212 degrees Farenheit to bring us to a boil, whereas spirits boil at 170 degrees or something like that. Let me G it. BRB


Google said 78 degrees!!!

That’s a HUGE difference.

That’s probably why they can’t affect me. LOL

They’re used to spirits. LOL

I’m water, Baby. H2O….

I’m so cool, it’s not even funny.

She used the pan I use everyday to cook my dinner and put a big roast in it and stuck it in the refrigerator. Nobody even ate it.

But Allahu Akbar

I found a pan that works even better because it’s smaller and better suited to my meal for one. Allahu Akbar!

You cannot phase the resourceful.


All I can do is SMH at the efforts of the wicked.

I know there’s a scripture in the Holy Qur’an that applies.

All I can think of is that they plan and Allah Plans, surely Allah is the Best of Planners.


That’s not how it goes, but it’s still true. LOL

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Our Saviour, yesterday (A.J. Day), Told Me To “BE HAPPY!!!” And I didn’t say it but I truly was. I was almost like that Second Line I saw where everybody was happier than any people I’ve seen in my life. The only thing that would’ve made it better would have been sharing my joy with someone else.

I’ve never had that. Someone who was truly happy for me too. Except maybe when I got married. I think my friend was truly happy but now I think it’s only because I was marrying the wrong man. Because when I told her how I felt about Zawji, she disappointed. 😦

But, Allahu Akbar! I’m happy ANYWAY!!!! Can’t Steal My JOY!!!!!!

I have a wonderful Zawji and that makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

We’re the best couple ever.

Have you ever known two people to get together and they just seem like they were made for each other? Especially if you knew them separately – and then they hook up???

That’s us.

When we get together, everybody’s going to be like
Ya’ll are perfect for each other!
I know you’re already thinking it. 😉

Everybody who knows both of us (and that’s basically everybody I know) knows we are supposed to be together. We just sound right together – make sense….

A match made in Heaven by Allah, TRULY.


It’s only a few more days…


❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤