SisterCaptain’s Blog ١٨

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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MESSAGE TO THE BLACKMAN

FEBRUARY 22, 2017 11:20 A.M.A.D.-JAMAL

HAPPY A.J. DAY!!!!!!!

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum OUR Babies!!!

Well, I don’t know about the “Basehead.”

He’s a little too cocky.

I saw him this morning.

BUT

I was talking to Zawji’s Doppelganger

AND

Yesterday, I stopped talking to him and went with the “Basehead” but the “Basehead” lit up a cigarette and made me feel real cheap.

So, last night Allah Told Me To Tell Him

“If you don’t stop smoking, you cannot come with me to L.A.”

BUT

I don’t even want to talk to him.

I saw him later after I left the Doppelganger

AND

I hid so he wouldn’t see me.

I understand.

It is difficult for Brothers to submit to a woman

BUT

If I’m leading you, you can’t make me mad.

OR

Try to lead me.

You’re going to find yourself on your own.

The Holy Qur’an says

…leave you in your inordinacy, blindly wandering on.”

I’m going back to L.A.

With or without you.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

It’s going to be difficult saying “See you later” to Rock again.

He has Honey now.

I like to just say nothing and see you if I see you.

When I left L.A., I didn’t say nothing and the last time I left N.O.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m just gonna Saviour’s Day

THEN

See what all the fuss is about mardi gras

AND

Push to L.A.

I hate parades.

I like Second Lines.

I hate marches too.

I just wanna go home.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I wrote a poem last night in chapel.

EASY MONEY

Sex & Drugs

Not So Easy

To Lose Yourself

RESPECT

Your Intelligence

Your Decency

Two Things To Test The Best

Man In The Universe

How Are You Going To Support Your Family?

Pimpin’

OR

Slangin’

???

OR

Finding Your Talent

AND

Submitting To The Will of Allah

???

$$$$$

EASY

LIES

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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MESSAGE TO THE BLACKMAN

MY WHOLE LIFE BEFORE I BECAME A MUSLIM WAS A LIE.
MY NAME WAS A LIE.
MY RELIGION WAS A LIE.
MY GOD WAS A LIE.
MY HISTORY WAS A LIE.
MY WORLD WAS A LIE.
MY SELF WAS A LIE.

THE TRUTH IS I WAS NEVER A CHRISTIAN.
I WAS NEVER AN AMERICAN.
THERE IS NO GOD UP IN THE SKY. NOT EVEN A BLACK ONE.
JESUS DID NOT DIE TO SAVE MY OR ANYBODY ELSE’S SINS.
HE DID NOT COME BACK FROM THE DEAD.
JOSEPH WAS HIS FATHER.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A “HOLY SPIRIT.”
GOD DID NOT CREATE ALL PEOPLE. HE ONLY CREATED BLACK PEOPLE.
THE WHITE MAN WAS ONLY MADE YESTERDAY. (MADE – NOT CREATED)
AND HE IS THE DEVIL AND THE ONLY REASON WHY THERE IS NO PEACE.
HE IS GOING TO BE DESTROYED BY THE GOD OF THE BLACKMAN.
THE DEVIL HAS DECEIVED NINE-TENTHS OF THE POPULATION INTO THINKING THAT WE ARE ALL THE SAME.
LIES.
“COME OUT OF HER MY PEOPLE.” (REVELATION)

Mother-Dear’s House

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

Screenshot 2016-09-02 at 8.05.48 PM

I miss Mother-Dear’s house.

– And my Grandfather.

It was his house too. 😀

This a-way, Valerie, Valerie, Valerie…

Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack…

Down the dusty road…”

And Punchanella 47

I wish I could find an “adult-sized” “SIT N SPIN”

I would ride it until it made me sick!

That thing was so fun!!!

It sat in the same backyard where Granddaddy wrung that bird around by its neck

Then put it back down on the ground, with its neck broken and head hanging off to the side but still running around!!!

****

Christmas and Easter

And whenever Uncle Ted came to town

Or just any old day of the week

Uncle Mike with the DJ Equip and the crates full of records

(And “Playboy” magazines under the bed)

Thought nobody knew about those, huh, Uncle Mike?

So musically, inclined,

– The whole family

I had a trombone lesson where I learned how to play with my foot

Because I was too little to reach the notes with my hand.

Uncle Mike with his cloud for an afro and platform shoes

Image result for mens 70's platform shoes

“I love my nieces to pieces!” He would say, in reference to the cartoon we used to watch

I love you too, Uncle Mike!

*****

There was always company

And Ice Cream
(Mother-Dear just called it, “Cream“)

Pineapple soda

And Cinnamon Toast

Nico, Kim and Danielle

Eric, Lyndon, Jr. and Rachel

And sometimes, Little Mike…

Having to read the Bible

When we got in trouble

Big cousins “speed-reading” LOL

Open your mouth and close your eyes and I’ll give you something to make you wise.”

– DOG FOOD

Putting the burned (“sterilized” 😀 ) ends of broomstick sticks in our ears to keep the holes from closing #ghettofabulous

“Che, Che, Cool-ay”

Boys running barefoot in the street, racing cars…
(I wonder if the slang term, “juicin'” came from O.J.???)

Homemade Go-Carts from shopping cart wheels

Anita Ward ringing in my ears all night after hearing it all day

Sitting on the tire in the bed of Grandaddy’s Big Red Truck
Before it was illegal to ride in the back

Walking to the corner store to trade bottles for candy

Using a bottle opener to open RC Colas before you left the store

Granddaddy always had peanut brittle

And Mother-Dear always had Saltines and that gross-looking peanut butter from 32nd Street Market that you had to stir to mix the oil back into it

They’re both gone now

– Mother-Dear and 32nd Street Market

REGENTRIFICATION

*****

You had better not leave a toy there

At Mother-Dear’s house

Because it was sure to be broken

When you went back to get it.

PONG from Cal Worthington

Forced to watch the news with the grown-ups

And constantly reminded that my father was not a glass-maker

Let’s see who can be quiet the longest!!!”

– Never won that game :/

Mannish little next-door neighbor
Always tryna do “The Grown-up”
*sigh*

Grandaddy’s Big Red Leather Recliner
That you had to get out of
As soon as you saw him coming

He had a song for everything you said

Called me “Grandma Moses” when I was four-years-old

Could raise his ears up and down

But they called him, “Poke”

Short for “Slow-Poke”

At least I had it honest

Don’t have that problem anymore, now that I’m a Muslim

Image result for allahu akbar

They said children weren’t allowed to visit in the hospital
I still don’t understand that rule.
We want to see our loved one too!

Centinela Hospital
But they wouldn’t let me see him

July 4, I think, 1979, maybe

We cleaned the whole house,

“I need the Fantastik!”

It went downhill from there.

*****

Mother-Dear used to get up in the middle of the night and drink apple cider vinegar
With her feet in the oven

And she would say how Poke would love to have seen whatever it was we were doing

*****

Trying to find “elbow grease” under the kitchen sink

Mother-Dear’s Mother calling our jeans, “britches” and our earrings, “ear-screws” and asking us, why were we running around in our “stocking-feet?

You had to take your shoes off at Mother-Dear’s house. We weren’t even Muslims yet either. You just had to do it. It felt right.

But try finding that one shoe or sock when it was time to go home!
(Good Luck!)

Plastic-covered furniture that used to stick to your legs in the Summer and that big dinosaur against the wall that used to play 8-tracks once upon a time…

Adults doing certain dances to certain songs
I had to live a little before I figured that one out!

The big TV with the little TV on top
With a hanger for an antenna
And a pair of pliers in lieu of a knob

ALWAYS on Channel 40 :/

Kneeling around the bed for “The Lord’s Prayer”

 Asking Mother-Dear’s Mother (who was born in 1901) if she remembered Marcus Garvey and his “Back To Africa” Movement

She didn’t. Even though his movement was global and she was in her twenties at its height. :/ Go figure. I guess I didn’t get my political activism from her.

But she did remember when they first got electricity; “Everything just got better,” she said.

She told me she knew a man who used to turn on his light just so he could light his candle.

She also told me she remembered when they started eating pigs.”She said the barn burned down and it smelled edible. Before that pigs were just used for medicine.

I miss those days at Mother-Dear’s house. That’s it in the picture. But it was pink when Mother-Dear lived in it. And there was no tree in the front

Sitting on the front porch, getting your hair combed

Spending the night with your cousins when the grown-ups went out
And trying to stay up all night, which was easy after watching “Night of the Living Dead”

Nico getting OUT the sofabed to brush out the crumbs from the crackers we had been eating and I’m trying to be low-key knowing for sure we were going to get in trouble.
She didn’t care though. I’m pretty sure Grandaddy was right there sleep in his “Big Chair” but she taught me how to make it do what it do!

Seems like so long ago now

We all have children of our own and Mother-Dear’s house has long been sold.

I think it’s a shelter now, which is very apropos considering how many people lodged there

I lived there in my twenties, as did much of my family and family friends

Mother-Dear always said it was a “Stepping-Stone”

pffffff America and her individualistic nature has babies moving out of the home, whereas in other cultures, the same family has lived in the same house for hundreds of years

But, I’m grateful because I got to finish college

Then I had a nervous breakdown

And Mother-Dear’s house was no longer sufficient as a shelter against the cruel world

They took me to my mother’s house

She told them to take me to my father’s house

He took me to the hospital

And nobody’s house was ever the same.

Time for the birdie to fly free

And find her own way….

Bones

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved Asiatic Black Brothers and Sisters

So, when I was in the hospital, I got the chance to play Dominoes with some Louisianians, and believe me when I tell you that they know how to play.

They play FIFTEEN to get in!

FIFTEEN!!!

That’s a whole ‘nother game.

AND THEY DON’T COUNT NICKELS!!!

I LOVED IT!!!

I had to change my whole game. But I still beat ’em. All except for this one O/G who had spent eight (8) years in Angola and he told me, “All we ever did was play Dominoes – from the time we woke up until we went to sleep.” He told me how they would have to climb the ranks of the Domino table. But I’m not gonna tell ya’ll how. 😉 ❤

I could beat him when there was a group of us but not head to head. I love a challenge. He made me step my game up. After I played day and night with this other Brother [I helped him step his game up 😉 ] I was finally able to beat him. Allahu Akbar!!!!

So, last year when I was in NOLA, I had no cash, no ATM card (so no access to my money in the bank), no I.D., and no ticket to get back home. I ended up in the hospital and the good people in The Big Easy found me a way to get back to L.A.!!!!!! Allahu Akbar!!!! (Allah is The Greatest)

This time, I had decided I wanted to live here, and didn’t want to go back home to L.A., so when I ended up in the hospital again, I told Allah I want to live in The Treme’ – NO WHERE ELSE!!!!

And what did the good people in The Big Easy do for me this time, you ask???

They found me a place right on the outskirts of The Treme’!!!!!

Yes, Yes Ya’ll, I am no longer homeless.

I am living in a Transitional Independent Living House in the Seventh Ward, right next to the Sixth (Treme’) and I am walking (a long walk) from Armstrong Park and The “Quotah.” So, I couldn’t be happier.

My place has an infestation of roaches, but I talked to the owner and she said she would get some Borax so that should be taken care of soon. I’ve also seen two bed bugs, which is two too many, so I’m looking to transition soon. Next spot will be in the heart of The Treme’ إن شاء الله In Sha Allah (If it is the Will of Allah)

I wrote a poem.

WATER IN THE AIR

H2O -> O2

Humidity

Rises From The Sea

Atmosphere traps droplets that

Rain Back Down On Me

Hot Currents

So Fresh

So New

Nothing Like L.A.

So Much More Here To Do

To Experience

HOT RAIN

Never Felt Before

Never Want To Leave

الله أكب

Allah Has Really Slowed Me Down to a N.O. Tempo

I mean I don’t even feel it (the slowness) anymore. I’m loving the music. The food. Even the corny tailgate parties probably won’t irk me anymore.

Oh, and Delaney, Bruh…..

How could you just leave and not say Goodbye??? Brother, that really hurt, I mean we had a few “near-misses” and I can’t believe you were THAT mad that you could leave without saying goodbye, KNOWING that we will probably NEVER see each other again in life. I know I play too much, but DAMN, GINA! Seriously? I would give you my number, but there’s really no point. You know why. I get it. Maybe you thought there was no point in saying goodbye. I need closure though.
I hate loose ends.

Anyway, on another note, one day for Karoake Friday in Music Group, I sang a coupla numbers by Ella and Pops and acted like I was a lounge singer during the break (“You guys enjoying the show?” “Anybody from outta town?” LOL) just fooling around, ya know? (Oh, in NOLA, the boys say, “Ya heard me?” and the girls say “Hear?” It’s sooooooo cute. I gotta be a cute NOLA girl and start saying, “Heah?” Heah? 🙂 ) Anyway, FOUR people came up to me afterwards and told me how good a singer I am!!! And I was just fooling around!!!
One Brother told me he thought I was the recording!

الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ عَلَى كُلِّ حَالٍ


MINE

Bismillah

You are the Water

I am the sand

Together we must roam the land

From boy and girl

To woman and man

Start to Finish

Beginning to End

My Lover, My Husband

My Best Friend

Father, Provider

Protector and Guide

When I need a shoulder to lean on

You’re right by my side

My Rock of Jamalter

My Homie, My Clown

The Greatest Dancer

You Git Down

With the Git Down

The perfect scale

To balance my two sides

Sagacious

In you I can confide

 

ONE LIFE TO LIVE

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

ONE LIVE TO LIVE

ONE LIFE TO GIVE

TO THE MAN

WHO’S THE MAN

WORTH ALL I HAVE TO GIVE

HE MAY NOT WANT ME NOW

BUT, IN SHA ALLAH, SOMEHOW

THERE’LL COME A DAY

HE’LL FINALLY SAY,

“OKAY, I’M READY NOW!”

BUT UNTIL THEN

I’LL WAIT TIL WHEN

HE’S READY FOR ME

AND WE CAN BE

SPOUSES AND BEST FRIENDS!!!

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!