Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
As-Salaamu-Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Sisters and Brothers!!!
March 2016, this month, makes ten years since I converted to Islam.
It has not been without its lows.
Allah Tests us so that we can see where our strengths and weaknesses lie.
For the first several years, all I focused on was bettering myself and grounding myself in the Knowledge of The Divine Supreme Wisdom Teachings of The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessing of Allah Forever Be a Upon Him). All I cared about was Truth, Freedom, Justice, Equality, Righteousness and Peace.
Then one day, one of my Facebook friends invited me to join her group. There I was faced with realities and truths that had not entered my mind since I converted – LOVE.
I wondered how, in the midst of all these noble virtues (Truth, Freedom, Justice, etc.), could I have forgotten one as imperative yet as basic and fundamental as Love?
Surely, Love is more important than Peace!
That is where I made my mistake.
If love was greater than peace, Allah Would Have made His way of life – the religion of Love and not of Peace.
I had been at complete Peace since I converted to Islam in 2006, but conforming to the popular opinion of this society that love is greater than peace brought about my downfall.
I began listening to love songs.
Knowing full well that The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace of Allah be upon him) taught the M.G.T & G.C.C. (Muslim Girls’ Training and General Civilization Class – the name given to the training of Black Muslim Women and Girls in North America) not to.
I had to justify it (which should have been my first sign that I was doing wrong) by convincing myself that it was my soulmate communicating with me.
I went crazy from there.
And by October 21, 2014, I had lost everything.
I didn’t make it to my tenth year in perfection.
I feel horrible. I was the PERFECT MUSLIM. I let everybody down. So many people looked up to me and admired me.
I still know the Truth and am thankful for that but my image has been tarnished and it is going to take refinement that can only come from Our Saviour Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praises are due forever,to return me to my former state or better.
I try not to dwell on it.
Allah Didn’t let me commit suicide when I attempted at my lowest low so I know He’s Not Finished with me yet.
I have supernatural powers that can sometime make life scary but I know that as long as I hold on to the handle that will not break off, I will be alright.
(Holy Quran 2:256)