Month: April 2015

CHANGE IS INEVITABLE

بِسْــــــــــــــــــمِ اﷲِالرَّحْمَنِ اارَّحِيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Sisters (and Brothers)

Last night my ears were ringing like crazy for over an hour and I know it was my hubby – THE KING – plotting his next move.

Our Beloved Messenger, The Most Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) taught us in his Theology of Time lecture series (listen below), and many of us heard, growing up, that when your ears start ringing it means someone is talking about you or trying to get in touch with you. This is 100 per cent Right & Exact.

I don’t care about anyone else enough to be able to tune in to them (except my son, Hakim). So I know it had to be my Honey-Stick.

I feel horrible for causing him grief. Suicide is very selfish. I forgot all about my children, who would’ve been devastated. And, gave up on My One True Love – Completely inconsiderate of his Love for me.

I’m sorry, Sweetheart, you deserve to know the aftermathematics.

I was taken to the hospital for observation and placed on a 72-hour hold which extended to two and a half weeks.

I was discharged this past Tuesday, on the condition that I continue my treatment by participating in an intensive partial hospitalization outpatient program.

الحمد لله‎ I have been placed in transitional housing so am no longer homeless. And, it’s so sweet because it’s walking distance from Leimert Park!

The Day Program is wonderful. I get to travel out of the city every day except Sat & Sun and roll out to the foothills of the Sierra Madre Mountains, which is therapeutic in itself. The air and the skyline is beautiful. Everytime I look at the skyline, it reminds me of Blue Jay. But, in a good way.

We are served a Continental Breakfast and then participate in group therapy sessions until we break for an healthy hour-long Lunch. Two more groups and another tranquil, wonderful ride home.

The Transitional Housing is cool too. I get along with my roommates well, but I’ve decided to make Lunch at the Program my one meal. It is healthier and more delicious than the meals we are served at the Transitional Housing.

I’m extremely happy and optimistic about opening this new chapter in my life, also relieved to be closing the dark chapter of homelessness and privation. btw Honey-Stick, I saw Andy right before I was hospitalized. I didn’t say anything. He was sans the glasses which is a good look for him. But I digress, I have nothing but good expectations about this new chapter, knowing how it’s going to end – MARRIAGE.

A week ago, I would’ve NEVER guessed that my life would have changed so dramatically in such a short amount of time, even considering how dramatic my life has always been.

I LOVE YOU AND I KNOW YOU’RE EXTENDING YOUR HAND TO ME. CONSIDER IT TAKEN. AND, KNOW THAT I CARRY YOUR HEART WITH ME EVERYWHERE I GO. I CARRY IT IN MY HEART….

“The Restrictive Law is our Success.” #22
– The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (PBUH)

الحمد لله‎

ALL PRAISE IS DUE TO ALLAH!

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved Sisters & Brothers

I am so thankful to Allah to be able to sit and write these few lines. Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises are Due Forever, Is Obviously NOT finished with me yet, as you will see once I relate the incident of March 19, 2015.

I was haunting the train stations when I saw one of my hubby’s Doppelgangers.

For some reason, that I can only attribute to fear and stupidity, I disembarked from the train.

As I watched the train pull off, I had the sinking feeling that my future was heading – without me – to Union Station, my most favorite place in the whole world, next to The Jonathan Club. In sha Allah, I would like to marry there (or the JC) if it pleases THE KING. 😉

Anyway, I ended up feeling so alone, I just hopped on the next train that arrived: NORTH HOLLYWOOD.

I didn’t make it.

I got off at the very next stop and was horrified by my surroundings. It must’ve been the Hollywood or Sunset station because it was “decorated” with all of these horrible old reels from the reel-to-reel days and it was just so creepy and ugly.

This, coupled with the preceeding incident, led me to believe that I had entered a world devoid of beauty and also my hubby. Needless to say, I did not want to live in a world such as this and I tried to kill myself by jumping in front of a train.

However, I crouched down and waited, expecting the train to run into me and crush me to bits, but instead it rolled right over my head. You can imagine my disappointment. Well, maybe you can’t.

In any case, I’m still here, so I’m going to do what Allah put me here to do.

Look for

HOMEMAKING FOR THE BLACKWOMAN.COM LIVE!

COMING SPRING 2016 TO A CITY NEAR YOU!!!