بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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FEBRUARY 20, 2017

11:04 A.M.A.D.-JAMAL

AS-SALAAMU ‘ALAIKUM OUR BEAUTIFUL AND BELOVED ASIATIC BLACK BEBIES!!!

Al Hamdulillah!!!!

The West WON!!!!!!

Yayyyyy!!!!

I had a fabulous weekend.

I can’t remember the last time I wrote but so much has happened I don’t know where to start.

In Journalism, we’re taught to get to the meat of the story first, whereas in creative writing, you build up to it.

I’m a Muslim creative journalist, so I’m gonna write about how Allah Wants me to write.

I ran into the “basehead”

I got on the mic at the shelter after chapel service when they asked if anybody had a testimony and I said:

“As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum! I just want to tell all the Black People there is a book called Message To The Blackman in America. Google it. You can read it online for free!”

LOL

I’m so gangsta.

That preacher lady didn’t know what to do!

But the “basehead” (who is not really a base head) saw me and after chapel came up and told me he had shook the devil’s spawn!!!!

I said,

Allahu Akbar!!!

Allah is the Greatest!!!

But there is something about Gods.

We are solitary people and we argue and battle for authority.

So, we got into it this morning and I’m at the library.

I don’t know where he is.

He finds me when Allah allows him to.

I wouldn’t be writing this if I was with him.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I also found a store where I’m going to get my next pair of shoes.

Shoes are extremely important to Black People.

They tell you so much about a person.

Always keep your shoes fresh and cute.

They kept trying to hook me up with some baller niggas all day yesterday.

But I’m cool.

I’ve got the King!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I had a good time tho.

I got a NBA Allstar bracelet and some beads but instead of beads they’re little basketballs. LOL

You know how people have names that signify what they do?

Alicia KEYS

Cheryl Swoopes.

Well, my mother named me A-NET.

So, I’m not ashamed that I like basketball anymore.

Or horses and guns like Annie Oakley.

Maybe Anet represents all the bad stuff about me.

Like Annie don’t wear no you-know-what’s.

I never would tell anyone my middle name growing up.

I hated it.

It wasn’t Annette like everybody else.

My mother told me she deliberately named me A-Net.

I never asked why.

I hated it.

A-Net.

But I’m never going to ask her, so I’ll just take it to mean that I’m a baller.

I’m not fighting it anymore.

I just do some stuff that boys do.

I don’t like it.

So, I do it in private.

Except play the piano.

I don’t like that sometimes I have to play.

Ball

Piano

But I go crazy when I try to not be myself.

One time I tried to not talk so much.

It almost drove me mad.

I’m always in the hospital anyway.

So, I’m just going to do boy stuff in private.

Or try to.

I can’t help the way I was made.

The things that have made me who I am

ARE

A

Part of Me

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I know who Rock is supposed to be with.

Her name is HONEY.

I was jealous at first.

But then again, I always am a little when Brothers who like me find the one they’re supposed to be with.

But I have Zawji.

So, I’m happy for them.

Sad for me.

But we’re last.

We have to make sure everybody else pairs up then and only then can we get together.

It is what it is.

He taught me something.

Zawji comes first.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

All-Star weekend was a trip.

I was outside the place they had the Legends Brunch

And there was this little red corvette stingray.

That was beautiful.

I sat there because the license plate was Louisiana but it said

GRAMBLING

So I know the owner was a Blackman.

I sat there and waited for him to come out.

Let me G where Grambling is.

I think it’s in the A.

BRB

It’s in Grambling, Louisiana

I had no idea.

But It Makes Sense.

I feel funny

Grambling

Let me see where Spelman is.

Okay, Morehouse is not Grambling.

LOL

I feel better.

Kinda

I gottawriteabout Zawji

He went to Southern.

Football isn’t everything.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

The SisterCaptain almost went to jail yesterday.

Some fools from South Africa tried to get me in trouble with the po-pos.

Bitch lost her purse and told her man I took it.

Then here his big ass comes talking about

“Can I look in your purse?”

I was like

“Nigga please”

The police was right there.

I just boned out.

Damn foreigners

Black foreigners act like white people.

Calling the police on Niggas and whatnot.

And they will not let up.

So, I ducked out in the mall where I saw Jadakiss

Till the heat blew off.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Man, I wish I coulda took a picture of that Vette.

But Zawji wants me to describe it I guess.

I was purty.

It had a black top so I’m positive it was a convertible.

It had a fleur de lis in the corvette flag symbol

Let me see if I can find a picture.

BRB

I thought that shit was custom made

BUT

When I Googled it, I learned the fleur is part of the Louis Chevrolet family crest.

I like Chevrolet.

Not Ford.

Not Dodge.

Not Cadillac.

Not Chrysler.

I like Rolls Royce.

I like Honda/Acura

Not Toyota/Lexus

I like Mercedes.

BMW is okay for Blackmen.

Pontiac too.

I like Lincoln

I like Buick.

I like Bucks!

But I like them wild.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

In New Orleans, they have this thing called King Cake where they hide a little devil baby in it and if you find the baby it’s supposed to mean something.

Well, I think it’s all devilish, so when that devil baby fell out of my piece of cake I wrapped it up in an American flag and set that bitch on fire.