Housewife? Me?

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

It’s funny, I never thought I would look at homemaking as not being enough for me.

But when you say “housewife” it sounds different.

I’ve always said I was a Homemaker because I wasn’t a housewife.

I always thought I did the same things though.

I think housewife is like a homemaker but you have a boss (your husband)

That makes it more difficult.

You have somebody to answer to whereas before I could do what I wanted when I wanted as long as it got done.

Homemaking/Housewifing is like a career. It takes up all your time.

I was just free to blog because I didn’t have a husband to look after. I guess the blog took up that space in my life.

So earlier when I realized I won’t be writing this blog once I get married, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is my career.

And all I ever talk about is how women need to give up their careers when they get married and focus on their husband and his clothes and food and house and children, but when it comes to actually DOING it it’s a whole different story.

I never realized it but this blog is my LIFE!

Ask my son.

Once I started, maybe it started with facebook. But I know I started spending a lot of time on the computer whereas before I didn’t.

I let the children influence me. THEY were always on the phone so I thought that was the thing to do.

So, I started finding stuff to do online.

Myspace not so much.

However, once I asked my daughter if she knew how to get in touch with me in case of an emergency and she said, “Myspace?” So maybe I was on it more than I realize.

My roommate is going to be 76 next month and her days consist of sitting in a chair, eating, using the bathroom and answering the door when one of us comes home. Nobody has a key and I think that’s why. Our landlord wants to give her something to do.

But that’s how I think my days will be if I stop blogging.

Twiddling my thumbs.

I see how Zawji is doing it. We’re speeding up though.

He got me off fliers just about a month ago. It was All-Star Weekend. It was a couple days before the game and I think the game was on the 18th, if I’m not mistaken. I can G it but it’s not that serious.

Point is, he’s speeding up.

Today is the 28th. Wow! I haven’t been to sleep but it’s just after twelve, so I can’t even say it’s the 27th. See what I’m sayin’?

One month and twelve days since I stopped spreading the blog.

Now I’m getting ready to stop blogging altogether.

I think he wants me to stop for awhile before we get together to get used to it.

He took my fliers before I knew I was ready.

I, virtually, had stopped making them and wasn’t really handing them out anyway.

I was just making them to practice writing with my right hand and was about to start back passing them out and accidentally left them on a bench, I think.

Benches are very significant to me and Zawji.

We walk alot and go to parks and there are always benches.

We have always sat on benches.

He has a bench swing in his downtown loft which is perfect for us.

You know how I love to swing and a bench would seat both of us together.

I can’t wait.

This house he wanted to give me had a bench in the backyard. But the swing is better.

But anyway, I accidentally, left the bag of fliers on the bench. I think.

And haven’t made another one since.

As much as I talk about homemaking, I never knew I was a career woman.

Until I was thinking about actually stopping blogging.

Then the word Career popped into my mind and Giving it up too

And it hit me really hard.

I’m changing directions.

I think about the two Angels who rented me this place.

She just came out to meet me and convince me to take it

BUT he does all the work.

I think about helping other women.

Sometimes it takes a woman to help a woman.

We can have been really abused by men and are skeptical of their help so Allah sends us female Angels to do the job of raising up us into Angels to marry an Angel.

I know I have raised some women into Angels with this blog

AND

I

REALLY

THINK

MY

WORK

IS

DONE

.

So, I’m going to try and make this my last blog, Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black People.

You know how my life is though. I said I’m going to TRY.

See how it feels to not have a blog anymore.

I mean it’s still mine technically.

I might even still pay to keep the ads off for awhile.

Maybe I’ll nah, that’s too much like a career.

I was going to say publish it into a hardcopy but that’s work and the point is to give up working and focus on Zawji completely.

So, if this and I think it is, my last blog,

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. I’m sorry you won’t be privy to the affairs of my life anymore. Just know that I married Zawji and we lived happily ever after.