بسم الله
السلام عليكم
If you know anyone who might be sucessful in keeping me happy for the rest of my life and vice versa, send
Name
Full photo/video
A brief description of what he loves most about being F.O.I.
Occupation and Net Worth
A funny joke, riddle, limerick, cartoon, quotation or some indication of his ability to make me laugh
to UmmHaqim@gmail.com or Facebook or Messenger
Bonus if you send me something having to do with MUSIC…
Aaaaaaaand GO!
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved And Beautiful Asiatic Black Sisters!
Kayfa haluk? 🙂 How are you? Ana bikhayr wal Hamdulillah! I am good and All Praise is due to Allah!
Well, I think it is prolly because it is the end of the solar year, rather the white man’s year, and I am feeling like wrapping something up! Roll with me…
You know I am a B-Girl/Fly Girl, right? Well, naturally, I love emcees and the girly girl in me loves CUTE Emcees!!!
If I had any friends, we could collaborate on our top list of the finest emcees of all time, but since I don’t…
١ THE GOD
Check out Hakim on #SoundCloud
https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/5HcRk
ithnayn
CLEAN, NEAT AND WELL-GROOMED… HEAD TO TOE! MY MAN GOT ON THE SUSPENDERS!!! CLASSIC!!!
Ra is not really cute, per se, but his steez, brings me to my kneez…
Like most “fiends,” I know I will never ever duplicate the feeling I got when I first heard “thought I was a donut!!!!!” He revolutionized the use of metaphors. Such imagery, so visually colourful was unprecedented in Hip-hop, which was, at that point, going through its most creative adolescence. Nobody had come close to that upper echelon level of imaginative oratorical innovation.
ERIC B AND RAKIM changed the game!
٤. ي س YA SIN BEY
I don’t know how this Brother wrote his debut single about me. NEVER MET THE MAN, but there is no doubt the song is about me.
I liked it, but I didn’t want to admit it was about me because a. I never met him and have no clue how he could know so much about me and b. scene three 
Somebody else had to state the obvious then I knew I couldn’t front. If other people recognize me in it…
All of his description, really, even to how she introduced herself, but the things that I think were most undeniable were:
1.When I liked a Brother and he tried to leave, I would get in his grill and be like, “How you gon’ leave..!?!?” No doubt about that. IMR! The audacity! You really just gon? 😐
2. I had to adjust my exit plan recently, and actually leave, then come back. I didn’t intentionally lie; I just…changed my mind, ya know?
3. Finally, and this is the clincher, HER NAME!
In any case, the closest I ever came to meeting him was one time when I was on the bus leaving the Beverly Center, I saw him standing on Third, shooting the breeze with someone, but I’m pretty sure he didn’t even see me and I was definitely not getting off.
But, please tell him, I’m made of “everything nice” too. 🙂
In any case, my number ٤.
As much as I hate to admit it, I am forced to conclude that either he didn’t write it or he wrote it based off of
This is a hidden hidden track on Jill’s debut…
NEED I SAY MORE???
٦.
The one and only time I ever bought a PLAYGIRL… SMH
٧.
The Rapper JALIL!
Rest forever in peace, X 😥😥😥
٨.
One time we went to Leimert and Hakim was playing with the little boys like he always did, but it had been a long time and he didn’t realize he was playing with their sons. So when we got in the car, I told him those were Brother J’s sons. He was like, “I feel so deceived!” LOL!!!
I found out later one of my exes new wife was there, hawking, as if I still wanted him. Girl, if you don’t get you some business! What are you doing here anyway? THAT’S why you’re insecure. You don’t know how to keep a man, period.
I’m over here tryna interview a world famous emcee! And you’d rather watch us than take care of your husband! Poof! Be gone! ‘Member that? LOL
٩.
“An’ Ahm…”
Roxy was not feeling Kangol nor EMD but the good doctor got her attention.
I know it was his groundbreaking and inimitable “if-I’m-correct-Dear,-your-name-is-Roxanne, break it down to the syllable, style, which was unprecedented at that time.
I could be wrong but no one has ever duplicated it.
Roxanne had better taste than those girls who took her name for their rap careers…😏
١٠.
١١. One day, De La was at KDAY and I called and asked What do y’all be talking about? Yeah, I was Shanaynay 😑 He answered something incoherent. All I understood was something about daisies and mayonnaise.
PLUG ONE
١٢. Boom Shaka Laka YO! THE CHIEF ROCKA got cute!!!
١٣. fly gray-beard gangbangin
Sorry about Biz, he was an ODB
Four way tie…
“…til we get our FREEDOM!!!” IT’S ON!!!
YOU STOLE US!!!
Now, either send us back or WE JUSTIFIED IN “STEALING” EVERYTHING!!!
Send me back. And we won’t have no problems.
i saw them live twice, just to give you an idea about how much I just LOOOOOVE THEM!!!
HERE IS THE MAIN REASON
and
Disclaimer: there are certainly other cute rappers but to make my list, you gotta be cute on the inside too!
i know my life sounds farfetched, like how can she meet all these celebrities. I honestly don’t know.
But it started when I was a baby in Camptown. One of the little boys on my block looked just like, in my opinion, Charlie Brown’s dog. So, I started calling him Snoopy. And the name stuck. Despite the fact that he grew up to look more like a Pinscher. 😘
Furthermore, and I can’t say with complete certainty, because I couldn’t have been more than four years old at the time but I would not be surprised if I was the first to call Marion, “Sugar…” And for those of you in the know, I’m not going to divulge the latter part of his endearment. 🥰 #cpt
شفيق
i don’t think he officially qualifies as an emcee in the sense that we define emcees nowadays, meaning rappers. But historically, definitely. His voice… Lawdamercy! Girls, you ever find yourself stuttering, trying to talk but stuck on kkkkkkks? LOL I hate when that happens. That’s this Brother.
He wanted to call after we had been texting music but I did not trust myself. He writes for Badu and I probably would have melted into honey and oozed out of his phone… and it woulda been a wrap! 😂😅🤣🥰😘😍 LOL
BISMILLAHI RAHMANI RAHIM
i think I am going to LOOOOOOSE…..
They make those fat wheels that I predicted are going to revolutionize the sk8 world, but not so much for tricks.
“60mm Hot Juice Black 78a OJ Skateboard Wheels – NHS Fun Factory” https://nhsfunfactory.com/products/60mm-hot-juice-black-78a-oj-skateboard-wheels?variant=40118098624669
“60mm Hot Juice Black 78a OJ Skateboard Wheels – NHS Fun Factory” https://nhsfunfactory.com/products/60mm-hot-juice-black-78a-oj-skateboard-wheels?variant=40118098624669
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
Just because you are homeless does not mean you have an excuse for being dirty!!!
I read the paper and this is the biggest complaint. TRASH!!!
I understand your bitterness but leaving your spot filthy is not justifiable. It is misdirected vengeance and only exacerbates the problem by turning homeless sympathizers against us. If you leave your waste where someone was kind enough to let you crash without calling one time or turning on the sprinklers, they could turn from kind to frustrated. No one wants to clean up after grown folks.
Keep a plastic bag and when you finish your meal, dispose of the packaging also, the contents of your bowels in the plastic and when you push to your next spot, pick up somebody else’s trash too, and properly dispose of it all in a DUMPSTER!
Perhaps if we show kindness and consideration to the Earth, by just taking care of your own self, the world will be a better place.
Sidenote: rubbish is excellent fuel for campfires, if you are able to safely. It burns long and reduces your footprint by self-disposal. 🥰 W!!!
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
I pray you are all well and experiencing abundant blessings from Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad (To Whom Be Praised Forever!) I am Saidah (happy) to say that I am the same Al Hamdulillah!!!
Can you dig the track?!?!? 🙂 They’ve been having these weekend popups for Nimrod and I saw some white skates with pink wheels. Ironically, the last things I ordered online before I became homeless were some identical white skates with pink wheels (but I think mine had pink pompoms too) and a cherry seeder! Needless to say, I never enjoyed the benefits of these two items. And, I didn’t purchase the skates from the pop-up because a.) they were being offered by two drag queens and b.) they were not my size.
The next week when I saw them there again, I knew they were meant for me because a.) this was the beach and nobody copped them! b.) they had to be there for a reason! also c.) I had ordered some and never got to enjoy them.
So, I looked around for one of the drag queens. In their stead was a fag hag, who called me honey and I hated it, as usual. Nevertheless, I contemplated the cash I had and decided to use my emergency twenty. Because some things you just cannot pass up and money is, well, there’s always more.
https://www.target.com/c/top-gifts/-/N-7iz6l
So, I had asked how much and the fag hag told me everything was between 5 and 40. So, I was about to inquire about the skates and then I noticed a framed sign next to them that read $15! I was stoked!!! Took out the brie and picked up the skates. Handed my twenty to the chick and waited for my change.
You know how they do us. Just because I’m Black, she started hollin’ bout, “I usually sell these for forty!”
As if!!!
I didn’t say nothing, but telepathically, I was like, “Hoe, if you don’t give me my money,” as she huff3d and puff3d and reluctantly started to dig for my change.
Sisters, I really thought I was about to put on those skates and, OH! First let me tell you what I did to stretch them so I could be comfortable in them.
When I made my campfire, I put the skates next to the flame because heat causes everything to expand. When they got nice and warm, I put on a couple pairs of thick socks and wore them for awhile. Now, I just wear my regular socks and they fit perfectly.
Okay, so back to my first time skating in about fifteen. I didn’t fall, luckily, but I was not the Dorothy Hamill on Roller Skates that I pictured myself. I just skated around the promenade and pushed to wherever I was headed that night.
Two days ago, I found myself in Venice at the skate park at around eight in the morning and there was one sister there who was wrapping it up, so I gave her one of my new laminated fliers and sat down to put on my skates.
Why, everybody gotta check me out when I’m trying to be incognegro! I guess they’ve never seen a Muslimah roller skate.
There was this Brother, whom I recognized from my Paradise 24 days, smoking some cheeba on the bench near me, like I was supposed to acknowledge him. I was like, “Boy, pleeeeze! If you don’t mind putting that out. I am not tryna catch a contact!!!”
I wrote a song called “Can I get another mask?” for just such an occasion… Jeez!
I got an Obamaphone yesterday when I went to replace my wornout EBT card, so I’ll prolly record it. I really gotta be in the mood though, you know, cuz I mean it!
But when I got on the little roller skate park, it took me a minute but I finally hit my groove and it was on!
I felt like Dorothy! So. fun.
Hitting the curve and emerging from it backwards. Exhilarating! I can’t wait to do it again.
It’s been raining all day but now, I hear skating in music like the above track, but that day in my head was playing this song that was in the air one day as I pushed to Walmart in NOLA.
I have been meaning to tell you about something that happened about two months ago. I was at the Farmer’s Market, chilling listening to the Brothers play and then I saw the Brother from the Five Heartbeats. Wait. No, he was already there when I walked up because I went up to him and said, “You really into music!?!?!! WOW!” and he played the old-man-who-just-wants-to-get-closer-to-you-card
“What? I didn’t hear you.” and leaned in So, I repeated myself. But this was at the Market where there are a lot of celebrities, but also a lot of doppels and just to be clear that he wasn’t a doppel (although, there was no doubt) he snapped his fingers to the Jazz and said, “Oh, yeah! Music is the HEARTBEAT of life!” or the heartbeat of our lives. I can’t remember. But it still makes me laugh.
I googled him and discovered his name is TICO WELLS. And, he did look well😍 Fly Grey-beard banging!!! Definitely cuter than ’91, when the movie premiered.
But, although TICO has a nice musical sound, it’s also why he is so little! We were eye to eye.
He should change his name to AKBAR and I bear witness he will reach six feet, 250!!!
This is the second time I saw someone famous for music (Andre) while I was right there in front of them. Dre even said he wanted to play with them but his flute was “in the wrong key.” At the time I bought it, but he could have waited until they got to a song in the same key, or something!
But musicians can be very temperamental and eccentric and I don’t know, playing together requires a certain cohesiveness. And I really don’t think he felt confident enough about his playing to join those two powerhouses, instrumentally.
Now, if they had a mic, maybe… But it has been a minute since his funky last cut and where is Antwan?!?
I didn’t even think about introducing them. Next time, In Sha Allah.
The Five Heartbeats High Note GIF
﷽
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved Asiatic Black Akhawaat!!!
How Are You!?!?!?
I pray Allah, you are well and happy and blessed, as I. Al Hamdulillah!!!
I am in such good spirits! All praise is due to Allah. I woke up singing, for the past few days! 🙂
I was like Prince Akeem, but I was reliving the days when we used to sing T.V. theme songs, like Fat Albert, I did a montage when I got to the end, “Na, na, na, gonna have a…”
Then I belted out
Why I feel like breakin out my tambourine in the library? smh 🙂 Sorry about her skimpy fit! Put on some clothes, J! Jeez…
I also sang, the title of Barry Gordy’s book and I sounded better than expected. That is a really beautiful song. He wrote it about his children and I liked how I felt and sounded. Not as nasal as Jackie but really soft and meaningful.
It was also a slight drizzle. You can’t really call the watering we get rain. Except that atmospheric river we got last month. I WAS IN NEW ORLEANS ON OCEAN AVENUE!!! LOVED IT!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
And there is the new moon!!!
I love reading the Bible; deciphering its secrets is so fascinating! The Children of Isra El, used to celebrate on the coming of the New Moon. I was thrilled to learn the reason why I always get festive around this time! I used to always sing what Brandy referred to as her “Control…” 🙂
But it’s a little risque and please do not watch the video. This one is much better
OMG, why did the young brothers, who play straight ahead at the Farmer’s Market, play some Ellington! Hold your takbirs, I for one, jumped up as soon as the intro to Strayhorn’s “Take the A-Train” began. THRILLED. They’re young so they don’t know as much about jazz as ya girl, but they are getting better, as evidenced by the number.
But when the tenor came in, I rather they had waited until they could swing it! Believe, you do not want to hear a smooth jazz version of anything by Ellington.
They can bop, but swing is like fundamental jazz. I’m older and as much as I love Hip-Hop, I am finding myself slipping into the category of those “JAZZ PURISTS (typified by old white men )” that I have always derided.
My generation (THE HIP-HOP GENERATION) is actually unclassifiable 🙂 We are so cool. But very indescribable and musically bi-polar. LOL This Brother (Hey, Max!) told me he was doing some labwork with Mikah 9 and it was so smooth and mellow and he was digging the vibe, but the next day, when they reunited, Mike was on some hip-hop and Max was lost. He couldn’t dig it.
Me, I’m jazz, hip-hop and even more musically diverse because my MUSICAL “CRACK” is live symphonic orchestral…
On the Promenade, I loved this new angelic sounding Sister (Bri) who was there last Sunday, but not this past Sunday, to my disappointment. When I came in on her set, she was singing a song that has been in my internal playlist on LOOP!
I really feel this geek. I’m geeky to, so I guess…
But I was seven steps to Heaven when Bri went into L.O.V.E. but she smoothed it out! These babies have the love and the desire, the heart, the ear, but just not the ability!!!
Shawn on the tenor, was looking at me trying to swing him, like F.U. to my snapping and tapping… I guess, maybe that’s the neo-swing – SMOOTH.
But you know what they say…
I don’t believe I’ve said it here, but I feel this with all my heart ANY MUSICIAN WHO WANTS TO PLAY JAZZ MUST L.I.V.E IN NEW ORLEANS FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS OR UNTIL HE/SHE HAS MASTERED THEIR DISTINCT, INIMITABLE AND PERFECT SOUND!!!
I prefer W on the keys!!!! Sorry not sorry. Juslisen
B has it! I LOVE IT!!! He has New Orleans chops! Undeniable!!! He sat out on the Ellington, like out of respect, but I think he would have done him justice. And his cornet is reminiscent of NOLA’s Bolden…
Anyway, I am growing into my fifties and am becoming like, my son. He has this whatever attitude that is contagious and very handy!
So, I’m going to let you in on a little secret…. and get back to Ms. B: *bring it in…*
I have been to jail more times than I can count on both hands, but they still give you that one phone call.
Since I have been estranged from my kith and kin, I always rely on my celebrity connects and this one never fails!
I USE MY ONE PHONE CALL TO CALL…. *DRUM ROLL PLEASE*
Everyone’s favorite doll BARBIE!!!!
Seriously, I’m always out sooner rather than later. She has the hook-up!
Now, if it’s been a few since you’ve called her. Don’t worry. She’s coolio! And her number has not changed.
She’s like old skool emcees! They still have pagers!!! Same number!!! No cap! LOL 🙂
I once found an old organizer (remember those? 🙂 ) and just for kix, I called up this old rapper, me and my friend used to go to the studio and kick it with them and do you know he called me back like, “Yeah, did somebody page Brandon?” LOL I was like, “Boy, if you don’t stop playing with me!” ROFL
I saw on fb that he got a baby mama with they six youngies, so it’s all good I failed the next test! LOL
Rappers do that kinda stuff to check your intellect. It was cool sporting with him for a sec. I found out what it’s like to talk to a Brother with some “brie.” 🙂 Oh, the possibilities!!! I’ll never be the same. 🙂
I ain’t messing with no broke-broke LOL This was my joint… from ye’s debut when I used to mess with him. He’s completed his cipher though. Back to Black! Al Hamdulillah الحمدلله
Anyway, back to Miss B… if you forgot her number, just ask a little girl 🙂 and try not to get gaffled up!
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ikhwan!
As Black People, we often refer to each other as “crabs in a barrel.”
This metaphor really struck a chord after watching a few videos of the above.
I am not going to post it because it’s negative and I’m not about that…
As someone who, technically, has ascended beyond the limits of the brim, I see both points of view.
I remember, several years ago, when I was still, “itb” 🙂 I ran into a former best friend (Fatima Robinson), who had preceded me out of the barrel.
I was thrilled to see her after watching her climb and successful exodus. However, I was floored when she looked at me with utter disgust and feigned not to know me!
Just yesterday I experienced a similar emotion when a Brother ignored me, after achieving a little ghetto fame…
My point is that some people should realize that not all crabs in the barrel want to pull you back down…
We may not even want you to help us out. We are sincerely happy for you, knowing that eventually, we will meet you on the outside. Just don’t be mean. 🙂
Also, if you are one of the crabs who have helped other crabs out of the barrel, DO NOT HOLD THEM IN CONTEMPT IF THEY DO NOT RETURN THE FAVOUR.
Your reward is with ALLAH.
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum!
بِسْمِ ٱللَّٰهِ ٱلرَّحْمَٰنِ ٱلرَّحِيمِ
I need an F.O.I. – righteous, provider, protector, funny, and something else I can’t remember.
Good with children, maybe…
I refuse to get a phone or anytype of electronic device.
Yesterday I saw andre ben (AGAIN! ) and he played his flute for me, but being without the means to capture it and contain it in a box, made it more special.
Bolden went crazy due to the fact that they wanted to put him in a box.
I’ma see how long i can go.
I know i’m going down the rabbit hole…. as they say
Okay, I remembered! He has to be committed to physical fitness. I mean, like a lifelong commitment!
I am always physically active. Pushing a shopping cart with all my worldly possessions is a physical workout in itself!
BTW, if you skate, don’t if you haven’t leveled up to the new bigger wheels. OMG! I found one and tried it out. I don’t have one now cuz I’m tryna be feminine. But, if I ever backslide…
I saw someone use the word COMMISERATE, in such a wrong context. Sometimes, you have to look up the definition of a word, and when you do, you may be surprised.
I used to use the phrase, “for posterity’s sake” and had no idea that posterity means your children!
Anyway, that’s it, I think. I have a new blog to get to.
But as far as physical exercise activity. It can be cycling, running, hoops, tennis, step-aerobics (lol), weight training, volleyball (beach, preferably), surfing, skating, NO AMERICAN FOOTBALL, which is akin to Greek “wrestling” aka CAVE ACTIVITY, however FUTBOL is perfectly acceptable, water polo, swimming, snowboarding/skiing, &c…
Those are just a few of my favoritos… 🙂
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
There’s a reason why school starts at the end of Summer 🙂
I’ve been reading a lot now that the weather is cooling and the days are shorter.
A great surprise was “Better, Not Bitter” by Brother Yusef. He is Muslim and his story was so touching and eloquently written.
I’m sure you’ll enjoy it.
Another gem is SWEET MIDDLE EAST. A book of recipes for desserts typical of the Levant. The author is not Muslim and I had to make adjustments in a lot of the writing. But as far as learning Arabic words for common desserts, it’s priceless.
For instance, I’m sure you’ve heard of BAKLAVA. In the Arabic Language, the word is Qul wa Sadiq, or something that translates to “EAT AND BE HAPPY.” LOL I personally, don’t eat it because of the pistachios, but it can be made sans nuts.
I also learned that Cardamom, one of my staples, is the second most expensive spice in the world. Trailing only SAFFRON. Which I think is the pistils of an orchid, which would explain it’s costliness. I’ve yet to try it, although I found a store that sells it.
My issue is, WHY IS IT RED, WHEN SAFFRON IS DERIVED FROM THE ARABIC WORD SAFR, WHICH TRANSLATES TO YELLOW.
Needless to say, I’m looking for an orchid with yellow pistils…
I’ve collected a number of amazing quotes from reading:
A smile is the Best Charity!😍
Singing/Smiling/Positivity releases hormones (endorphins such as SERATONIN) that make you healthy and happy and generally just feel good all over! 😘
When you find yourself walking through hell, just keep walking, or better yet, RUN!!!
When you go to Allah walking, He comes to you RUNNING!
UP! YOU CAN ACCOMPLISH WHAT YOU WILL. (Message To The Blackman page 199)
Do more of what makes you happy.
Make each day FUN & EXCITING!!
Count Your Blessings
Brainstorm JUSTICE
IGNORANCE IS NOT BLISS –
ISLAM IS BLISS;
KNOWLEDGE IS BLISS;
REFLECTION IS BLISS!
AS-SALAAMU ‘ALAIKUM
UMMI
Homemaking For The Black Muslim Woman Journal ™ 