The Most Intelligent Man ALIVE!!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved & Beautiful Asiatic Black People of the Planet Earth

FIRE

UNDERGROUND CALIFORNIA SOUND POUNDS!!!
ELOQUENT, BENVOLENT, RELEVANT
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, INTELLIGENT!
This Black Brother threw some Black History in his rhyme saying, “I’m lit just like a filament.”
be·nev·o·lent
bəˈnevələnt/
adjective
  1. well meaning and kindly.
    “a benevolent smile”
    synonyms: kind, kindly, kindhearted, big-hearted, good-natured, good, benign, compassionate, caring, altruistic, humanitarian, philanthropic;

    generous, magnanimous, munificent, unselfish, openhanded, beneficent;
    literarybounteous
rhet·o·ric
ˈredərik/
noun
  1. the art of effective or persuasive speaking or writing, especially the use of figures of speech and other compositional techniques.
    synonyms: oratoryeloquence, command of language, way with words

    “a form of rhetoric”
    • language designed to have a persuasive or impressive effect on its audience, but often regarded as lacking in sincerity or meaningful content.
      “all we have from the opposition is empty rhetoric”
      synonyms: bombast, turgidity, grandiloquence, magniloquencepomposity, extravagant language, purple proseMore

“MY MIND’S MY NINE; MY PEN MY MACK 10; MY TARGET ALL EMCEES WHO STARTED RAPPIN.”

A.J. Week

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

https://youtu.be/zA1xzxMmbUk

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved Beautiful Black Bebies!

How are you? I’m so confused.

I saw some dolphins this morning and they were swimming towards the pier – in no hurry. They would pause and play in the water, bringing many smiles to my face as the joggers and fitness buffs ran by, completely oblivious to the aquatic carnival going on just a few feet away.

Nevertheless, they ambled toward the pier and then I noticed another group of dolphins swimming in the opposite direction.

And I just knew they would be happy to see them. You see, dolphins have not been poisoned by the enemy against each other like we have.

They see dolphins and they see their own kind. So, I knew they would be happy to see them and sure enough they started playing together.

I thought about my travels and how nice it was to see Our Saviour, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises are due forever. Unfortunately, it didn’t completely dawn on me that He was actually Our Saviour until the next day when I realized He had said He started school at age seven.

I don’t know why THAT was what made me realize it was actually Him. Maybe because WHO STARTS school at seven?

Anyway, of course, had I realized it was Him I would have aborted my trip to Saviour’s Day with the Believers and followed The Actual Saviour.

I thought about the dolphins and how they probably didn’t really have any place in particular to go anyway and it’s so nice to meet your own when you travel, that wouldn’t it be nice to continue traveling together?

I thought about a Muslim Sister I met yesterday coming home from the fiasco at the Museum. The Hammer Museum is the filthiest place. The devil uses art as propaganda. The Media is basically art and that is how he has been successful in pushing the “UNHOLY Trinity” on society – Homosexuality, Interracial Relationships and Hinduism.

This last one Hinduism is probably the worst of them all because it is thirty-five thousand (35,000) years old and they have had a lot of time to sneak themselves into our psyche.

I think it started with Tina Turner. Then Marlon Wayans used comedy to push their chant. Then yoga. Now it’s “Mindful Meditation.” Allah Told me to tell you whenever you see those words, separate or together – RUN LIKE HELL. Meditation sounds peaceful and it is. It is something we practice in Islam. But when you have someone between you and Allah, It Can Be Very Evil.

I also didn’t know when I first started seeing those “adult coloring pages” that they are used by Hindu Monks. So don’t do those either. They are a type of Hindu meditation and unstructured meditation can be evil. Keep your mind and heart on Allah. Draw your own pictures and color them or choose coloring books for children with normal sized pictures.

This is a spiritual war we are living in and the devils are using mass deceit to try and win. Guard your brain and protect it from anything other than Islam. If you want to win, that is.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

On the bus ride to the Museum, this fag sat right across from me with his little helper. I knew he just wanted to antagonize me as soon as he sat down.

Sure enough, they start talking.

The fag starts talking about how he hired a Blackman to be his driver for a day for $250.

Then he starts talking about how he fell asleep in the car while he was waiting. AFTER he got cupcake all over his mouth and how embarrassed he was at his driver’s behaviour.

I was pissed. I knew he was lying because he KEPT saying how he fell asleep and got cupcake all over his mouth.

Then the helper asked the bus driver for directions.

I was about to get off and I told the driver, who was Black, what the fag was saying, trying to say Black people are lazy and all we can do is eat and sleep.

So, I told the fag off before I got off the bus. But you know how the archdeceivers do.

Whenever somebody peeps their game, they turn to a blind, deaf and dumb so-called American Negro Christian and try to make the somebody look crazy. But I got off the bus so I didn’t have to stand that.

So, I’m upset now and when I see this disgraceful picture covering the outside of the museum, I just brush it off and go on in.

I should have known.

I find a Sister who works there and ask her about the event, she tells me where it is and gives me a program. I was unsure exactly what it was about. I just knew it had something to do with trying to help Black People.

But when I read the description, it was more like a one-sided presentation. Not a discussion, like I had thought. Also, they included an invitation to come back next week for a screening of a movie about a Black lesbian.

I should have left right then.

But I thought maybe I could separate the two events and try and find some good in the presentation.

But when the museum spokesperson greeted us, as she was describing the night’s event, she said it was a “mindful meditation…” something or another.

I see how they might try and use meditation to surreptitiously “fix” Black People’s problems. But I’m Muslim and I know Hinduism is evil! See how Christians are trying to sneak Hinduism in everywhere? They are exhausting every means trying to get us to go to hell with them.

RAN LIKE HELL!

You can’t give the devil any room in your brain because it’s hard to get him out.

You see how he has poisoned us so much against each other that we are fighting and killing each other for nothing! Black Brothers killing each other!

So, when I saw the dolphins, I thought how cool it would be if one group changed directions so they could travel together as a group.

It’s hard to say goodbye to your own kind.

Last night, on the bus there was a child and I love children but when I looked, it looked like the child was a devil and I don’t care about devil children. They’re probably going to make it to adulthood and then try and kill us like they were born to do. But she talked the entire trip. Loquaciousness is a sign of intelligence in children.

So, when we got to the end of the line, I saw her mother had on a hijab, so I greeted them, “As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum!

The little girl had on the smartest little coat and I complimented her on it.

She said, “Thank-you. Where are you going?

I was like, “No, this little girl just didn’t ask me where I’m going! Little grown-ass!”

But I was proud of where I was going and I answered smiling, “I’m going to the Library! Where are you going?

She said something I didn’t understand so I bent down to her level and asked her to repeat it. She said, “I’m going to Los Angeles!” like it was the BEST place in the world.

I smiled and said, “I’m FROM LOS ANGELES!

Then I noticed her mother looked lost. I asked her where was she trying to go. She had her little map on her phone and told me she was going to Nordstrom.

These Arabs got beaucoup money. I saw some Muslim women and children in Malibu getting out of a chauffered SUV.

Anyway, I gave the mother directions and wished them both As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum.

The little girl responded, “Wa Laikum Salaam” and she walked away holding her mother’s hand.

Then I remembered another Arabic phrase as the distance between us widened, “Ma Salaama!” My Arabic teacher would probably tell me I did it backwards but…

I heard the little girl’s voice in the distance. Although she was much too far away to make out her words.

And I didn’t know what to say so I just said, “Ee la lee qa!

They’re halfway down the block now and I don’t know what she said, but I heard the little Muslimah’s voice reply in response on the wind.

It was so cute! She was going to reply until she couldn’t hear me anymore.

It reminded me of when my daughter was little and I was a working girl and she used to do the same thing.

I’m thinking it’s a Muslim thing. I KNOW it’s a Muslim thing. But I don’t want to tell you what it’s called because some stuff is not supposed to be said.

But sometimes, when you meet fellow travelers, it’s difficult to say goodbye, so I was thrilled when the dolphins heading toward the pier joined their fellow dolphins headed toward the ‘Bu (Malibu). And they continued their journey as brothers.

It was almost as if I had scripted it. That’s what I loved so much about “Five on the Blackhand Side” It had a happy ending. That’s the beautiful thing about art.

Anything you can conceive, you can make it happen. Whether it be a novel, a screenplay, a stageplay, a television show, a painting or whatever. You can live your dream through your art.

Patrice lived her dream in her video. She wanted my neighbor’s boyfriend but I think she had something else to do. But I don’t want to think about Patrice’s story. It’s too depressing. I’ll just post her video.

I hope I’m not like her, but I’m afraid I am. Like Harriet too.

One of those women who can’t have a normal life because we have a higher calling.

It’s a curse. Gladys said she actually prayed Allah would take her gift away.

I don’t know what I want. I guess it doesn’t matter. Allah’s Will Be Done.

Last night I tried to cancel A.J. Week, in one of my pissed off moments.

We hadn’t even reached “Hump Day” but I was ready to call it.

A.J. had other plans.

I got some of my favorite cheese. GOAT CHEESE. It’s the best cheese I’ve ever tasted. It melts in your mouth and it has so much flavour. I thought I was going to eat it with some green olives but it was better without them. The next week I tried it with Kalamata Olives and THAT was divine!

I got some Lindt too. I paid for it this time. It was on sale for $3.99 AND I got a coupon for a dollar off.

WHY did I find a bench that was well lit, where I had planned to read one of the books I had just checked out with my new SAMO library card (that shit was so wierd! I went to the self-checkout, scanned my card and the books that were in my hands came up on the screen! I hadn’t scanned them or anything! But there they were – all three of them) Anyway, I sat down on the bench and I was right under the bridge that takes you across to the pier and there is a little bar right there, but I kind of like being around activity sometimes, so I was trying to dig into my Drunken Goat cheese but I couldn’t get it open for nothing! Then I look up in my frustration and all of a sudden a crowd has formed OUTSIDE the bar and everybody’s staring at me!

I was like “Damn, can’t a girl eat her cheese and read her book without everybody staring at me like I’m some kind of anomaly!”

But I guess I am in a way. I’m sick of people staring at me. I know how G felt. I just wanted some peace and quiet.

I hopped on Lulu and stormed off. I was so upset, I thought I had ridden past my usual spot. But I hadn’t.

I eventually got there, fully intending to forget all about A.J. Week when out of the blue, these enormous gold balls lit up the night sky. I was like, “What the FUCK is that?

They looked like huge gold disco balls flashing on and off in the night. I didn’t know what it was. I thought maybe it was some alien space shit because I knew they could not build poles big enough to hold such huge lights!

THEN one regular fireworks went off and I heard the loud blasts that accompany fireworks. And I thought, “Not only did this Nigga reinstate, A.J. Week, he set off fucking fire fuckin’ works.” His ass.

And NEW fireworks too! Let me see if I can find, nah, I know that shit is not, well let me check. I knew I wasn’t going to find it. He is so space-age.

But I don’t know what to do. The Brother I wanted to replace him with told me to change the name of my operation to OPERATION TEMPORAL HAPPINESS. Let me G that. BRB

tem·po·ral1
ˈtemp(ə)rəl/
adjective
  1. 1.
    relating to worldly as opposed to spiritual affairs; secular.
    synonyms: secular, nonspiritual, worldly, profane, material, mundane, earthly, terrestrial; More

  2. 2.
    relating to time.
    synonyms: of time, time-related

    “spatial and temporal boundaries”

His ass is just as smart as Zawji. He took it to another level. But I think they’re on the same side. :/ He didn’t respond to my friend request. I don’t think. I’m going to abort the whole idea. I know when I’m beat. We’re all on the same team.

He’s like Dwayne to Zawji’s Terrence.

I’m back to square one.

This is why I homeschooled. Devils always throw tricky shit in to make you feel less than. Zero a multiple of three? GTFOH. But I like the “Square One” concept. It’s Islamic.

All I know is, I’ve got to get Zawji away from that devil before she kills him.

I realized last night that everybody wants a Blackman or woman but Blackmen and women. At least the ones being pursued…

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

It begins to tell…

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum My Beloved Asiatic Black Family!

How are you all? I’m doing pretty well, till after sundown…

Then I woke up on the beach. It was clear which was nice after the past three overcast mornings. Naturally, the first thing I did was reach for my notebook.

I didn’t really feel like writing but I kind of put it on myself to never stop, so I succumbed and it dawned on me that today is A.J. Day.

After the way he treated me, I hardly felt like celebrating.

He tried to give me the beach.

I was like, “Fuck you, Nigga!

And threw that shit back in his face.

But I am in Malibu.

You know I’ve been reading this old Vogue magazine from 1912 and it said that the only acceptable gifts for a decent man to give a lady he’s courting are FLOWERS, CANDY and BOOKS. Never jewelry or anything “vulgar” like that.

Well, it didn’t say “vulgar” but that’s a term that people use when referring to proper etiquette. Something else you want to avoid is “rudeness.” Another anti-etiquette term.

But anyway, I guess I did kind of accept his gift.

I still feel like he can kiss my perfect round derriere. Choosing a devil over me. I realized last night that I was right about the devil white woman being the root of all evil and I can prove it.

The first devil white woman was Eve. (No, Adam and Eve were not Black. They were the first devils. Black people were here trillions of years before Adam and Eve.) She is where the word “EVIL” came from. Eve —-> EVIL!!!

Also, it can’t be the love of money because there was evil before people even began using money.

But, I remember when I first saw Zawji’s picture after not seeing him for a long while and his eyes looked so dead where they had once been so vibrant.

I know she’s draining him. If he was with me he would forget he ever used to smoke or drink. He wouldn’t need those things. I would soothe his mind and spirit.

That’s what he made me for.

Our Beloved Messenger, The Most Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) Taught us, “A woman is the only Heaven a man has.

Thus, if you have a woman but you’re not in Heaven; you need another woman.

He won’t even look at me. He knows if he does, it’s over for her.

I know he loves me now.

Last time we saw each other, he was pissed because I interrupted his lunch date but as soon as he saw me, his face lit up and broke into that beautiful smile that’s reserved just for me. But after we hugged, he started trembling uncontrollably and would not look at me for NOTHING! And all I wanted was to lose myself in his illuminated, beautiful, chestnut brown eyes.

If I had known then what I know now we would be together because I would not have left without him.

Which is why I was so anxious to see him again.

But he wouldn’t look.

I feel so used.

It was as if he summoned me there just to use me.

That’s all anybody ever does.

Get what they can out of me.

And it pisses me off because I can’t turn it off.

I’ve decided to tell people who take my picture to pay me.

I hope I’m not turning into a bitter, homeless old bag lady.

I don’t think so because I still hope one day he’ll come around.

I really don’t have any other thing to do but wait for death.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m so irritable now. The only thing that cheers me up is chocolate or ice cream but I don’t want to get overweight again. It was so hard to lose this time.

I know it’s immature to get angry when people copy me, or photograph me, or get blessings or inspired because of me. And there’s really nothing I can do to stop it. So, I guess, I just crossed another milestone and I’m really going to try and accept the adage that “imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

I could use the money though.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

  • I saw the big homie, John from GSH and he told me he owns his own business now!!!! Yaaaay, John!!! So, if you have some pesky critters and want discreet, reliable and effective service give “J’s PEST CONTROL” a call at (310)654-2075
  • Yesterday, I told you that at the Marina, the pelicans “land,” well technically, they “water!” 😀
  • Anybody wanna take me to see Brother Herbie at the Hollywood Bowl? It’s tomorrow and if you are a Brother, we can’t sit together or arrive together. That would be too much like a date and you know Muslims don’t date. So just leave my ticket at Will Call. Muah!
  • Happy B-Day Genius!
  • According to Wikipedia, “In 2010 he lectured at Harvard University, and since then visited, among others, MIT, Oxford, USC, NYU, Cornell where met with scientists such as David Kaiser and Sallie W. Chisholm, to seek inspiration. In 2012 he discussed with Neil deGrasse Tyson.To improve science education in New York City and beyond in late 2012 he began to work with the assistance of Columbia University’s professor Christopher Emdin and website Rap Genius on a pilot program called Science Genius B.A.T.T.L.E.S. (Bringing Attention to Transforming, Teaching and Learning Science). This initiative motivates young high school students, especially African-American and Latino students who together make up 70 percent of New York City’s student body, to learn science through hip hop, creating scientific raps and engaging in a rap competition.
  • I thought this was so beautiful, despite my aversion to the “Queen,” she gave this precise description of “traditional music:”  “solid songs, intelligent lyrics, superb accompaniment and flawless production.” Brilliant! “…accompaniment…”
  • Another term I like is “Tight Grooves” I got that from Gladys.
  • Oh snap! Thanks Ree-Ree! She talked about this movie in her book.
  • I’ve only watched about the first fifteen minutes and I’m LOVING it so far. But I’m not going to post it until I’ve watched the whole thing. Sorry.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Milestones

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Dearly Beloved Gods & Goddesses
Of The Holy Tribe of Shabazz

GUESS WHO I RAN INTO YESTERDAY?

https://youtu.be/rTyN-vvFIkE

It was as if he conjured me up to help him with his business meeting. I’m a muse/lady luck and I rolled right up on him in the middle of a meeting on a patio overlooking the ocean.

It was kismet.

Even with all of the “coincidences” that happen in my life, I still almost couldn’t believe it. I was kind of expecting to see him soon though, having just seen his daughter.

I was looking for a park that I had visited several years ago by the beach. I knew I had passed it but I kept rolling.

Then for some reason, I decided to just forget it and go to the beach. So, I turned onto this random little “street” between the houses and there he was.

He was holding court with a crowd of obsequious admirers but it sounded like he was wrapping up.

A.J.!I called from the sand below.

A devil peered around him to look but he kept talking.

A.J.!!!” I called louder.

Still nothing.

I stood there for a minute trying to understand why wouldn’t turn around.

Allah Gently Told me to just, “Forget it,” trying to preserve what little dignity I still possessed and so I started toward the water.

But he was right there! And I hadn’t seen him in so long. I couldn’t believe he would just ignore me!  And I couldn’t just give up on him.

It was worse than the last time I saw him.

It’s like he’s ashamed.

It took him what seemed like ten minutes just to LOOK at me!

This time he wouldn’t even do that.

I was still kinda in shock because I had just walked up and there he was!

I listened to his voice for a minute, trying to grasp that I was right here and he was right there.

Eventually I looked up and one of his obsequious admirers was looking down at me.

I gestured for him to get A.J.’s attention.

He shook his head like, “Uh-uh. If he doesn’t want to turn around, I’m not going to be the one to MAKE HIM!”

Then his devil girlfriend handed him a drink.

A. He was with a group of people and he was the only Black person. I could live with that.

B. He drinks. I could live with that.

But then he did something that I couldn’t handle.

He lit up something.

And I lost it.

I had the hardest time turning Lulu around.

It was as if Allah Didn’t really want me to leave.

But eventually I forced her.

*

I don’t think it’s me anymore. 

For some reason… No, I know why. It’s his devil girlfriend.

Apparently, he doesn’t want to leave her. Yakub’s Law of “Opposites Attract” is causing him to choose her, smoking and drinking over Allah and Islam and me.

So, I continued back on the straight path I was going in before I turned off onto that little street, but by now I was completely in shock.

That little detour changed my life and brought me to another milestone in my life.

When I was in Vegas, I knew he smoked. But it was as if he was trying to quit.

I know the problem is his devil girlfriend.

THE WHITE WOMAN IS THE ROOT OF ALL EVIL.

She gives him liquor, so even if he was trying to stop she won’t let him.

Drinking and smoking go hand in hand.

I know because I used to do both.

But, with the help of Allah, I was able to quit.

So, it’s impossible for me to submit to someone so weak.

I know after she handed him a drink, he automatically wanted to smoke.

And that was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

*

I rode to the end of the beach, where the Marina opens.

I had never ridden that far before.

And I paused when I got to the end of my little path, because suddenly there was a crowd of people walking on the main trail that outlines the Marina where my little path ended.

Why do people always take my picture when I’m at my lowest?

This man snapped my picture and I looked away. Then covered my face and looked at him and he took another one. The camera actually was one that used film so I knew he couldn’t delete it. I just told him, “Don’t take my picture!”

That happened in New Orleans too, when I was actually crying and this guy would not stop taking my picture. I had to get up and leave.

But yesterday, I ended up finding a place that was semi-private (at least it was hard to reach, if not completely concealed) and broke down. Allah Lets me blubber sometimes. I really hate to cry. To me it symbolizes weakness. But I have to let it out. I tried screaming too – later at the beach when it was fairly deserted. But that didn’t do much. I would rather do this: aldkjf la’etueotu ‘ljgkao’erut’owejdg’laewtuq4e u0e[4yu’;er je’rgj’earlkjgrkgjoer;gjw re;oyunpjdfg rpeoiupdfg9 LOL

It’s kind of like banging on a keyboard. I guess it is banging on a keyboard. Just not a musical one. 😀

So, I just rode around and explored the scenery of this new neighborhood. This section of the beach is almost private. The houses open right onto the beach but there’s no bike path between the houses and the beach, nor a parking lot nearby. So, the beach is reserved almost exclusively for the people who live there.

There were people who didn’t live there enjoying the beach too but when I tried to sleep there the police came and told me the beach was closed.

I was like, “Nigga, you didn’t open the motherfucker, so how the fuck are you gonna try to close it? Get the fuck out my face.

He told me it was like a park.

I was like, “Did you build this, Nigga?

He was like, if you’re still here when I come back, I’m gonna issue you a citation.

I thought about it. And decided, I could live with a citation. But he would still make me leave and if I refused he could and probably would take me to jail. I was cool with that too.

But then Lulu was like John Coltrane’s solo on “Freddie Freeloader”

https://youtu.be/RPfFhfSuUZ4

Ibnana used to always sing, “What about meeee? What about meeeee? What about me me me me me?”  when his part came on LOL

So, I bounced.

But I found another pier, which was so peaceful and serene and since the police had already cleared the beach, they left. So, I could enjoy it without worrying.

I heard something that sounded like some type of sea monster, but I realized it was just sea lions barking. Then I saw them. They were so cute and playful. They swim differently than dolphins. But I saw them (dolphins) too.

The marina has more wildlife than any other area of the beach that I’ve seen so far.

The pelicans actually LAND (albeit on the water, but still 😉 )! And I think I saw some eagles.

I like to draw the birds.

I guess it’s a good thing the pigs woke me up because by then I was ready to think.

When I first layed down, I prayed for sleep to take me away from my misery.

But sitting on the pier, I had a lot of time to think. I prayed with the prayer beads I had just made, and that really helped me.

Eventually, the sky brightened but by then I was almost ready.

I walked almost the entire distance from the Marina to Venice; it was still very early so I was able to get the last of my tears out without observation.

And I was my usual annoyingly cheerful self by the time I made it to the Club. 😉

*

Last night I decided that that was the last time I was going to let him make a fool out of me. I threw my “wedding band” in the ocean.

I resigned myself to the fact that this world is just fucked up and sometimes your soulmate has issues. He’s still my soulmate and there’s no one who can replace him so I’m just going to have to live my life in solitude unless Allah Decides to clean him up.

My prayer, My sacrifice, My Life and My Death are all for Allah, so I’m Gucci.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Turns out I DIDN’T miss the Cameron Graves show. It was Friday night. I went and enjoyed it. Although, he’s kinda sketchy with songs titled, “Satanic this and that” and “Lucifer something” so I’m going to be careful with him.

He’s worse than Prince because Prince didn’t come out and say “The devil thus thus and thus” but he still gave me the creeps.

Ro James is another one and I really like him, but something about him feels sinister and that big “Old Hell” in his video doesn’t help.

I’m going to have to force myself to forget that he has a free show coming up….

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Ibnana and I had plans to go learn how to “Lindy Hop” yesterday but they were filming and not paying. Not that it would have made a difference if they were, but I was not trying to help nobody sell a flick.

I was really disappointed about that because that’s my era and I was really looking forward to that class. Ibnana would have been the PERFECT partner, in Zawji’s stead. I can’t dance with anybody else and they both can REALLY dance!!! Cursed filmakers!!!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

  • Why does everybody call Lulu, “The Barbie Bike?” I’m like, CHRISTIE!!!
  • https://youtu.be/sldYmXPIPi8
  • (I had the one at :33 and WHY was her boyfriend named JAMAL?)

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

 

 

Three years ago….

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

I drew the picture and the lady called me earlier.

I would post the picture but the one I uploaded on facebook, I forgot to color your bowtie. And I think the other one hasn’t uploaded yet. Let me check BRB NOPE Can’t even copy the one up there Oh well.

It came out really good too. Makes me feel all lovey-dovey inside.

Nobody commented.

That’s a good sign.

Whenever nobody comments that means they are really impressed and speechless.

I’m proud of myself. Not boastful. But I feel good that you and Allah allowed me to create such a beautiful piece of artwork. I made it my profile picture if anyone wants to see it. Click here.

The only thing is, I didn’t make you as tall as you are in real life.

You are about the height, maybe a little taller, that you’ve always been.

In the picture you can’t bend down and put your chin on top of my head like you did in real life.

I’m STILL trippin’ about that and it’s been THREE years.

I was just thinking about that this morning.

I posted something on facebook last year about something I posted three years ago.

It was March 24, 2014.

That was the last time we’ve seen each other in person.

I remember like it was yesterday.

You were so handsome and scary! You came stomping out the back and I was petrified. I could not move, then you looked and saw it was me and your handsome face lit up with that beautiful smile that is reserved for me. I love you. I miss you too.

It doesn’t seem like three years.

I think about my life back then and I was consumed with you.

I heard a song this morning that I used to listen to on my playlist when I used to catch the bus up to your plantation and it took me right back there. I was sitting on the bus again.

It used to take TWO HOURS to get there.

I didn’t have anything else to do though and I really enjoyed the trip.

I love catching the bus.

I love catching cabs.

I love taking the train (metro not Amtrak – at least I don’t think so – who knows? I never thought I would love taking the metro either. I just can’t do the subway. I don’t trust myself after that suicide attempt.)

I love flying.

I love traveling.

Cars? Sometimes. Depends on who’s in there with me.

I love bicycling.

I love walking.

That’s it.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

The Sister called me about the room

BUT

I

WAS

IN

THE

SHOWER

AND

NEVER

CALLED

BACK

I feel like, landlords play too many games.

I guess it’s the same with any type of barter.

Everybody wants the upper hand.

Well, I might call her next week.

I realized, I have too many options to play her games.

I’m starting to want to go back to L.A.

The only thing making me want to stay here is

The Dental School.

I REALLY WANT TO GET MY TOOTH FIXED!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m trying to wait until four to eat.

I have only had some milk and honey today

BUT

My eating habits have gotten so bad since…

I guess, since I’ve been homeless.

I use the traveling excuse

BUT

EVEN

NOW

I feel like I’m traveling

BECAUSE

This is not really home.

I won’t be home until I’m in the home you made for us.

Now “Home in a minute” just came on.

😉 😉 😉

I can’t bring myself to post it.

It’s kinda filthy and I can’t let people know I listen to that type of music.

LOL

Low Key

LOL

I can’t wait to order Ibni’s clothes.

The jacket came up while I was on Facebook.

I think he’s avoiding me so he won’t make me mad and I change my mind

LOL

Smart boy.

He knows me. 🙂

Well, I guess that’s all

JUST

THAT

I

PROBABLY

Won’t know where I’m going to be next month

UNTIL
NEXT
MONTH

In Sha Allah

I just know I’m going to have fun!!!

“Life is a PLAYGROUND!!!”

It’s funny because He said “park”

I didn’t call it a playground back then.

I used to call playgrounds “parks”

But I have since learned that there is a difference.

Not all parks have playgrounds, unfortunately.

That makes me feel sad for our children.

All you can do is toss a football or play tag, which is fun

But what if you don’t have a ball

Or are all by yourself???

There’s nothing to do but sit in the grass.

And what child just wants to sit in the grass???

I learned on A.J. Day that playgrounds are probably the most fun you can have for free in the world

And Our Saviour wants us to have fun all our lives.

That’s Heaven.

I love you I love yo I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you Il ove you I love you I love you I loveyou I love you Il ove you Iloveyou I lvoe you I lov eyou I lov eyou I love you I love you I love you I love you i love ou I love you I love you I loveyou I loveyou I loveyou I love you Il ovey  Ouio I louve ou

This was so weird because it’s centered.

But it was still fun.

Okay, I think the dryers almost done with my roommates shoes in it and I want to record the rain.

I don’t really have too much to say (Who is that? Salt n Pepa?)

I really don’t have too much to say…

Now I gotta G it

BRB

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to document our third anniversary since we haven’t seen each other SMH

WOW!!!!

See, this is why I love writing.

It’s time for me to eat now.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

If anybody out there is trying to eat one meal a day,

Just find something else to do.

It will take your mind off your hunger

AND

THE

NEXT

THING

YOU

KNOW

IT

WILL

BE

FOUR

And you can eat!!!

Which is what I’m about to do.

Oh yeah,

I tried to record the rain

BUT

My phone be trippin, right?

Just keep finding something to do until it’s time to eat

BUT

I’m going to warn you

If you’re just sitting in front of the idiot box, you’re going to want to eat.

You have to do some type of activity

Like writing or art, playing an instrument, create something, take a walk…

Until it’s time to eat!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Crossing

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
I wish I had some good music I could write to and access to a recording studio where I could record it.
Barbie went online and bought some music, rented studio time and came out with some good music.
I suppose I could do the same thing if I really wanted to. Let me see where I can find some music. I’ve done it before (found some beats) but I want JAZZ – STRAIGHT-AHEAD JAZZ. That’s probably impossible to find some music that needs vocals. Most of the music (straight-ahead) sounds fine without vocals. I guess Karaoke it is until I can prove myself worthy of a backing band. Oh yeah. I didn’t want to sing until we get together. Or until the devil is destroyed. I just have all this music in me. I got that sheet music yesterday and since it looks like I’m going to be staying in the NO, I’m already thinking about hitting the piano again.
I called Keith but I’m starting to wonder if he’s full of it because I never got the music. It’s just as well because it’s not jazz and I didn’t really like what he let me hear. I think about Kahlil – he had some fire but it’s not jazz and I know he wants to get paid. I feel guilty not paying them.
I think I’ll window shop for some beats. When I have time. Maybe.
I found Ibni’s clothes. I can’t wait to order them. He better like them. He says “They’re Alligator!” LOL I want to get him a Kangol too. May. I can get the jacket and shirt for two hundred. Three hundred for rent. One hundred for phone. That will leave me with one seventy to play with. I think I’ll buy a bike. It’s getting hot. I can’t be walking in this heat. I can also ride to the French Q and the river and the lake. Cheah. This time I’ll have some place to keep it so I won’t have to worry about somebody stealing it so much. Hopefully I can get one for less than a hundred. I always get the fly bikes. I can’t help it. This last one was flyer than I knew. I also realized I need the bar across the middle to rest my knee on. I didn’t know that and the last one didn’t have it. It was annoying when I wanted to rest my knee on it and it wasn’t there.
I can’t wait until next month to ride through the quarter. I’m excited now. This is why I love writing you! I always come up with good ideas that make me happy. And give me something to anticipate!!!!!
I’m watching the Biggie movie. It’s aight. I’ve never been a fan but it’s interesting to see what his life was like. It’s sad his father was such a jerk and how he hid his money from his mother. He just got incarcerated. That was a punk move whatever happened. The way they showed him calling his moms like a little girl. West coast people are harder than east coast. I think. Compton period. It comes in handy when people try to punk you like my roommates. They have no idea. I’m just waiting for that devil to tell Derrick I did something. She keeps eating my food. I stopped keeping my food in the fridge. It can last. The milk I have to keep in there. And she drank some of that too, but Allah will pay her back cause I’m out on the third whether I move or go back to L.A. She can kiss my derriere.
I’m in love with you, Love. That sounds more serious than I love you. I’m IN LOVE with you. I’m IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’m IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’m IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU. I’M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU.
I never thought about it that way. That sounds like something only men and women can say to each other. I mean you can’t tell your child or parent or friend I’m In Love With You. It reminds me of Eric Benet’s song. I can’t wait to hear you tell me that. Let me get the song brb
I used to love this song He is good at reworking old hits into new hits or what should be new hits. I’m just glad that’s not his daughter he’s singing with. I thought it was.
Just tell me something you don’t tell those other girls around you….
That’s what I used to think about you being around all those other girls. Made me so insecure. I never thought you could love me the way I loved you. You were famous and fine and everybody loved you. I never thought you could love only me – around all those women. I don’t see myself as beautiful, certainly not beautiful enough to compete with model types but if you love me you love me and it doesn’t matter what they look like. I understand that now. It’s not about looks. It’s about hearts. Yours is mine and mine is yours. I wouldn’t jeopardize what we have for anything in the world. I know you wouldn’t either. It’s not worth it. Sex with somebody else, even though it could be super hot, wouldn’t be worth it. I’m not going to experiment. Because I don’t think sex with anybody else would be hotter than sex with you – my best friend. Even if he has the body of that brother I met in Tuba Fats Square and worked it like a pro, I couldn’t kiss him and feel what I feel for you. Sex without kissing is empty. And, kisses without love (anybody other than you) are always empty. I would have to force myself to feel aroused. But, arousal without love is empty lust. And afterwards you feel empty and used. I have had enough of that.
I don’t want anyman touching me but you. Much less kissing me. I don’t even want to think about it. I’m depressing myself I want to kiss you so badly. Master Fard Muhammad, to Whom Praise is due forever, Said We’re almost there so be happy. I can see the finish line and there is no one close to me. I picture myself, and Allah said, it’s like dragging yourself across the finish line – we’ve been through so much but what comes next? I picture a wreath of roses; red roses and you.
I’m going to be happy. I’m lucky all I have to do is think about all the people who don’t know who their nafis is. I’m lucky just on the strength of that, whether it has materialized or not. I’m luckier that 99 per cent of people. I think one percent, if that many, truly have found their soulmate. I think that couple I saw in the quarter found theirs. I was mad at her for dancing up on that brother but now I know he was her brother. I cannot see myself dancing with real world jay like that but hereaafter jay maybe. LOL It wasn’t so bad now that I look back on it. I didn’t know Muslims dance in the streets but it’s so much fun dancing and partying and being happy unconditionally.
With the right people though. This world people ruin everything. I guess that… No, I know that’s why we’re still in waiting. I see the finish line though. That’s closer than the Light at the end of the tunnel… You’re closer…. It’s only been two days since the light. In sha Allah, it’ll be two more days before we cross, maybe less 🙂
I’m in love you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in ovew Ith You  I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you I’m in love with you………
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

SisterCaptain’s Blog ٣٧

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

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Thursday

March 23, 2017

11:46 A.M.A.D.- JAMAL

NEW ORLEANS

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Babies

I really didn’t want to blog.

I wanted to write Zawji

BUT

HE

WANTS

ME

TO

BLOG

It’s harder because I can’t really be as completely open and free as when I write him. I have to guard my revelations a little when I write for the public. You understand.

But, it’s good I guess.

I reread my messages to him more than I reread old blogs though.

I think he just wants me to tell the world how I feel about him. LOL

Everybody knows I love him more than life itself.

Or at least you do if you’ve ever ready my blog.

If this is your first one, let me fill you in.

I fell in love in 1979 with a boy who sent me an “I like you, do you like me? Yes? No?” note. We were in the same class and I know I checked Yes because I liked him. Still do. A few years ago, Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Told Me this boy, who was now a man, is my soulmate, or as we say in Arabic – ZAWJI – which officially translates to husband, but I like to say “my everything a man can be to a woman” He is my Brother; my Provider; my Protector; my Baby; my Daddy, and my Husband…
So Cheah…

He Wants Me To Write You…

It’s so funny because two days ago I was planning to move back to L.A. next month, but yesterday (A.J. Day) was so eventful, I might be staying in New Orleans.

I really hadn’t resigned myself to moving to L.A. yet, so it’s all good.

I’m really feeling New Orleans and although I’m not as close to The French Quarter as I would like to be, I’m close enough to go to The Jazz Playhouse any night of the week. Also Lebanon’s Cafe… I still want to see Papa Ellis at Snug Harbor too although I’m not anxious to see devils in his band.

That’s the reason why I left the Congo Square thing.

It’s nauseating.

I have no tolerance for it, I’m learning.

So, I don’t know.

The last time I went to The Playhouse, I ended up leaving before the band even started their set because they had a devil in the band and I couldn’t stomach it.

I don’t know if I’m ever, well I did get to see a good show at the Congo Square thing unexpectedly and the children’s bands were all Black. That is very encouraging.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

In sha Allah, I’m going to see the lady’s house this afternoon.

It will have to be pretty bad for me to refuse.

I’ve lived in a horse stable. LOL

But I loved being so close to the horses.

They’re so sweet.

That’s another thing good about staying in NOLA.

I’m going to miss Ibni but last time I was in L.A., I didn’t see him once. So cheah.

I told him I was going to buy him a alligator shirt and he said “Those shirts are expensive” and I thought he meant to say them you-know-whats are expensive LOL

It’s funny because I used to always dress him in polo shirts and expensive Kangols now I can get him the expensive polo shirts too. I guess I’ll get him a Kangol too. I want to get him an alligator jacket and shoes but I don’t think he’ll like the shoes. The jacket yes.

He’s so cute.

Well, that’s all really. I just wanted to write about going to see the Sister’s house. I really hope I can stay in New Orleans. It’s the greatest city in the world.

Sorry Zawji. I know you love L.A.

You can make me love L.A. when you feel like it, but I’m not feeling it, so I think you want me to stay in Nola. Today anyway.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

3:09 p.m.

Before I moved into this new place, the owner said it was time for me to forge ahead with life. Or something like that.

Like it’s time to settle down and stop being homeless, moving from shelter to street to street to shelter to street.

At least that’s what I took it to mean.

I agreed.

That’s why I’m here.

I could just have easily gone back to the street but it’s so STRESSFUL.

I agreed to a ROOMMATE!

Which is something I thought I would never do.

BUT

I’ve really grown since my last fight, I believe anyway.

But it’s starting to look like, and I don’t want to speak prematurely, but it looks like I may have found another place without ever having to have a roommate.

I still have about a week and a half before I get my check and can move but I think I would be okay with a roommate especially now knowing my time is so short. I could do a week and a half, In sha Allah.

This living with a devil is really getting on my nerves.

Admittedly, it’s better than last time.

I think I know them a little better.

That doesn’t mean she’s any less annoying and vindictive but I’m better able to cope.

Again, a week and a half.

People always try to test me.

See how much I can stand.

But my teacher taught me that the righteous are like water. It takes 212 degrees Farenheit to bring us to a boil, whereas spirits boil at 170 degrees or something like that. Let me G it. BRB

WOW!!!

Google said 78 degrees!!!

That’s a HUGE difference.

That’s probably why they can’t affect me. LOL

They’re used to spirits. LOL

I’m water, Baby. H2O….

I’m so cool, it’s not even funny.

She used the pan I use everyday to cook my dinner and put a big roast in it and stuck it in the refrigerator. Nobody even ate it.

But Allahu Akbar

I found a pan that works even better because it’s smaller and better suited to my meal for one. Allahu Akbar!

You cannot phase the resourceful.

LOL

All I can do is SMH at the efforts of the wicked.

I know there’s a scripture in the Holy Qur’an that applies.

All I can think of is that they plan and Allah Plans, surely Allah is the Best of Planners.

LOL

That’s not how it goes, but it’s still true. LOL

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Our Saviour, yesterday (A.J. Day), Told Me To “BE HAPPY!!!” And I didn’t say it but I truly was. I was almost like that Second Line I saw where everybody was happier than any people I’ve seen in my life. The only thing that would’ve made it better would have been sharing my joy with someone else.

I’ve never had that. Someone who was truly happy for me too. Except maybe when I got married. I think my friend was truly happy but now I think it’s only because I was marrying the wrong man. Because when I told her how I felt about Zawji, she disappointed. 😦

But, Allahu Akbar! I’m happy ANYWAY!!!! Can’t Steal My JOY!!!!!!

I have a wonderful Zawji and that makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

We’re the best couple ever.

Have you ever known two people to get together and they just seem like they were made for each other? Especially if you knew them separately – and then they hook up???

That’s us.

When we get together, everybody’s going to be like
Ya’ll are perfect for each other!
I know you’re already thinking it. 😉

Everybody who knows both of us (and that’s basically everybody I know) knows we are supposed to be together. We just sound right together – make sense….

A match made in Heaven by Allah, TRULY.

TRUE LOVE

It’s only a few more days…

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

The Curtain is Being Ripped

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
I was just surmising that these e-mails are really making me feel close to you.
More than or not even that I was expecting. I wasn’t. I just have things and feelings I want to express and since I’m a writer, I write. It really doesn’t matter if you read them or not I understand the power of putting things out into the universe. I know we create our own reality. I bear witness. You are my Zawji whether it appears that way or not. I’m just waiting for it to be made manifest. True Love cannot be denied and I know you love me. Whether it appears that way or not. Just being patient. WE are living in the day when the Truth must be made manifest so it is only a matter of time. I see so many signs. The Devil is at her wits end. LOL And I am just waiting for my turn. Allahu Akbar. Nobody can love us like we can love each other. But you must’ve known I would come around one day. Thirty years is a long time to wait for somebody and it’s not over yet. But at least you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Almost there, Sweet Zawji, My Beloved….

SisterCaptain’s Blog ٣٤

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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Thursday

March 16, 2017

Late Afternoon

NEW ORLEANS

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

I was going to make this a blog, but I feel like being brutally honest and i can’t be that open and honest with my readers. Only you.

So cheah.

I went to the homeless place but they told me you have to be referred. So, I would have had to go to a shelter and it’s not that serious especially since she gave me a few sheets with housing agencies and low-income apartments and transitional living places where I would have my own room.

That is a major concern now, after last night when I almost got a roommate.

I’m trying to move next month. Because Derrick is too anxious to put someone else up in here with me and well, you know… I cannot have a roommate. I was willing to try, but this time of being by myself just reinforced my independence. In sha Allah, I’ll make it through the month without having to get a roommate, In Sha Allah, but I’m leaving come the first, In sha Allah.

She gave me too many options to have to have a roommate for too long.

I’m not like most people.

Why did he move in a devil who used to be in the NGE? SMH She came up to me talking bout “Peace Earth” I was like What? LOL I put her in her place quickly. She tried to tell me what the NGE believes. I told her I know what they believe after all they got it from us. And just walked away.

She’s a joke. A devil in the NGE. SMH

But anyway, I’m gonna try and get on some of these waiting lists so I can hurry up and get my own place. I’m anxious for Ibni to come out here.

One of the places on the list, I went to when I first came out here. It was nice. I wonder if I’m still on the list. Let me call them. BRB Yeah, I figured they would be closed. It’s after six. But you know me. I don’t take no for an answer.

I wanna eat my sunflower seeds. Where did they come up with the term “poly seeds?” LOL How did they get “poly” from sunflower? Anyway. I can’t type and eat at the same time. Not those anyway.

I’m watching New Jersey Drive. It’s aight. I mean it’s better than that other movie with Nas and DMX. The acting is better, so I’m gonna say the director is better. I can’t even remember the name of the other movie it was so bad.

Everybody is talking about the movie Get Out. I have no desire to see no movie about an interracial relationship. I don’t even know why Black people allow ourselves to get caught up in the devils’ hype. Blind, deaf and dumb sheep, I guess.

I’ve got a new favorite radio station. It’s a new station. Throwback 96.3 I think, or something. They play music from the nineties when we were in our twenties, so you know I am digging it. It’s not lit or nothing but it’s nostalgic and I’m with that.

Downside is they play bad music from that time too. I wish I could skip or ban artists. Like on slacker or tidal.

I went to Family Dollar and got a frame for your picture, Love. They’re playing some song that is making me feel some kinda way. It sounds familiar but I don’t know what it is or who sings it. It’s called “I’m so alone” I think. It’s about death or an ended relationship. It’s sad. I would skip it if I could. I don’t like songs that make me sad. Life is too valuable to put yourself through sadness unnecessarily. I turned it off. I can’t take it.

It’s easy to wait until it goes off. 🙂

I’ve learned that. Nothing bad lasts forever. Just be patient, it’s going to end soon enough. That’s why I can listen to music with other people – djs and whatnot. If they play a song I don’t like sometimes I leave, other times I just wait. Depends on if I have something to do or somewhere else I could go.

At Mardi Gras, I waited.

Man, I never thought I would ever go to Mardi Gras!

It feels good saying I’ve been. I feel privileged because I know so many people wish they could go.

I even got your fedora! I’m so blessed! That fedora was bomb. You know I had to floss. 😀

img_20170301_081253

Now they’re playing I miss you by Aaron Hall. What is up? Are you trying to tell me something?

I hate when you make me think about stuff like that. And you know it. Stop depressing me for nothing. Why are you depressing me? You just like playing with me, Buster.

I can wait.

I got some manicure implements too. I stole them. It’s so easy to steal from Family Dollar. But when I went to Rite Aid, they were watching me like a hawk! I sure was about to walk out with that charger, but I procrastinated and she got hip. I should have just left but cold feet. I got it on sale though so I can still go see Corey Henry. That was close. I almost had to spend my transportation. I could probably walk now that I think about it. I just have to look at my map to see what would be the quickest way.

New Orleans is crazy. When they told me it was a circle I really didn’t believe them. But it’s true. If you keep going, you’re going to run into the same street. It’s crazy. That’s probably why the buses are so crazy. I’ve figured it out for the most part.

I’m still learning how to pronounce streets.

Trip this. I live by a street spelled LEONIDAS but they pronounce is LEONDAS like the “i” is silent or something. LOL I love New Orleans. I learned how to say “How ya duuhn” like they do too today. I’ve been working on that since last year. I finally got it. I usually say “As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum” but sometimes I feel like a native. 🙂

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.

SisterCaptain’s BLOG ١٣

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

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MESSAGE TO THE BLACKMAN

February 15, 2017

2:20 P.M.

img_2233

(If it were true you wouldn’t have to say it!!!)

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beautiful Black Bebies!

I had a good night’s sleep.

It was weird because somebody came right by me, but he didn’t say nothing and I definitely wasn’t going to say nothing.

He let me watch him do his man work and I really dug it but I felt like I wasn’t supposed to know what he was doing.

Dang feminist made me take electric shop in school so I knew exactly how to do what he was trying to do.

He was connecting his truck brake lights to the back of a float.

I think I jinxed him

BECAUSE

It didn’t work.

I would’ve took everything apart and started all over until I got it to work but he may have been pressed for time because he just took it the way it was.

Probably wanted to hurry up and get it to wherever they’re going to decorate it. Mardi Gras is only two weeks away.

It was cool.

He almost left his power tool and I wasn’t going to say anything. Not because I wanted it (I didn’t) but because I didn’t want to compromise my position. I would have had fun with it. Maybe. It was a drill. I probably would’ve started taking stuff apart. LOL

I feel like I’m not supposed to know how to even drive much less how to use a power drill. It was so cool too because it had a light on it.

Girls are not supposed to know how to splice wires and put together cars.

I was remembering when my daughter was little, I bought her a Barbie Jeep (it was pink) but girls are not even supposed to know how to drive much less how to put it together. But I didn’t know then what I know now.

She’s supposed to be riding around with Ken or Jamal (Christie) not pushing her own whip.

Girls.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

This morning I got up early, buried my hair and then went to see Rock.

I keep changing his name.

The only other person close to me that I’ve done that with was my mother.

I started out calling her Mama, then Ma then Mamacita.

I don’t like her.

I wonder if that says anything about my relationship with Rock.

We still get along well but I had to use a little “magic” to stay with him because his family is trying to tear us apart.

I love them but they don’t like me because I hate devils.

Everytime I see him he has on a Treme’ something.

I LOVE IT!

The shirts call it “The Jazz Corner of the World”

I DON’T LIKE IT!

It should read, “THE BIRTHPLACE OF JAZZ”

I think they may be scared.

That statement holds a lot of weight.

BUT

It’s the TRUTH.

ALL

YOU

HAVE

TO

DO

IS

GO

THERE

And you’ll see.

Jazz oozes up out of the cracks in the street.

It’s carried in the zephyrs.

It rides on the clouds above.

In lives in the hearts of the people.

Everything about The Treme’ spells J.A.Z.Z.

I know the guy who makes the T-shirts.

I’m sure I told him.

BUT

Sometimes it takes a while to admit you’re in error.

In Sha Allah, he’ll make new ones.

I will definitely buy a hoodie for my son.

He should put the fleur de lis somewhere on them too.

I saw Rock in his work clothes.

He tried to start an argument with me so he could leave.

I wouldn’t let him.

I’m too hip.

So, he offered his hand

AND

I took off my glove and let him grasp mine.

That was the first time we’ve ever done that.

The other day when I went to see him,

I was singing

Coloring

And he was quietly listening.

I like to sing around people

BUT

I try to sing like they’re not there

BUT

AT

THE

SAME

TIME

I’m gauging they’re responses

Taking

Note

To

When

They

Stop

Talking

But still singing when they are talking

Like I don’t care if they’re listening or not.

I’m just practicing anyway,

Right?

But he said

Kinda just loud enough for me to hear

“Sing it, Mama”

At the time I didn’t really feel anything

I just tried to sing better.

BUT

NOW

!!!

Everytime I think about it

My Heart Skips A Beat.

This was Sunday.

Men and women are not even supposed to be friends.

And I have a Zawji

It’s just that we’re not together.

AND

Sometimes

That’s my problem.

I need attention.

I even had a t-shirt with those words on it back in the nineties

When everybody was wearing those t-shirts from the seventies.

I didn’t realize how true it was

Until today.

That’s how I lost Zawji

In High School.

I hate that I’m like that.

I don’t want to be like Billie.

In Lady Sings The Blues.

She was supposed to be happy cooking and cleaning for Louis

But he thought his applause wasn’t good enough.

I think it was plenty.

I would love to sing for my Louis/Billy Dee/Zawji

While I’m baking him chocolate chip cookies or a bean pie or roasting vegetables or making bean soup or a milk and honey fruit shake or chocolate ice cream or marinating salmon for him to cue.

I wouldn’t have to sing another note

I WOULD BE AS HAPPY AS A QUEEN

IF

I could do that for the rest of my life.

He was the only thing that was missing when I WAS doing all that

SO

My L.A. landlord called me yesterday.

It was nice to know he still thinks about me.

I know he had a place for me but I wouldn’t let him tell me.

I just interrupted him and informed him of my whereabouts.

I told him he would be the first one I call whenever I decide to hit the Shaw.

😉 😉 😉 😛 😛

And don’t wait until a holiday to call me!

Also tell Paul and Shaun I said As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum

I kinda have a New Orleans hook-up but she’s too into Yoruba and Catholicism

And is low-key trying to make me into her ho.

SO

Cheah

That’s a no-go.

I am trying to get some low-income housing but it takes so long.

I rescheduled my dentist appointment so I’m going to be here at least another month.

In Sha Allah

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Until then…

4:42 p.m.