How to Attract and Keep a GOOD Husband

BISMILLAH

IN THE NAME OF ALLAH, THE BENEFICENT, THE MOST MERCIFUL
MASTER FARD MUHAMMAD,
TO WHOM PRAISE IS DUE FOREVER

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As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beautiful Sisters!

Dear Sisters, I am sure we all can agree that there are two types of women. Those who can keep a man, and those who can’t. For most of my life, I have been in the category of the latter. But All Praise is Due to Allah for the Honorable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him). This man taught me how to be a good “wife”. Not girlfriend. Not “baby mama.” Not “friend”. Not anything less than A WIFE. He also taught me how to attract a good man and how to keep him.

Naturally, all women want the companionship of a good husband. Allah (God) Created the woman to be the helpmate of man and for man to be the provider for woman. The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (PBUH) taught us that, “A man and woman are like twins before marriage and after marriage are one. Man and woman are part of each other, flesh and blood. Holy Qur-an states you are created one of each other.”

However, before we should even consider entering into a relationship with a Brother, we must qualify ourselves and make sure we possess those qualities that are desirable and suitable for a wife. The first thing a potential suitor notices is our appearance. So, we must always present ourselves to the world as decent and intelligent Blackwomen – who are clean, neat and well-groomed. At all times! Even if we are just going out of the house to check the mail.

If we want our Black Brothers to treat us like the The Mothers of Civilization that we are, with respect and reverence, then we must emanate self-respect. If we go places half-dressed or unclean and unkempt, then we give the impression that we have a low opinion of ourselves. Accordingly, our men will have a low opinion of us. And thus, we will attract men who disrespect us.

On the other hand, if we have enough decency and self-respect to dress modestly and take care to always be clean, neat and well-groomed, then we show the world that we respect ourselves. And consequently, we will attract men who reciprocate that respect.

So, it begins with us, Sisters. Ultimately, something as simple and easy as your outward appearance will determine your choices for a husband. In short, you will not attract a husband who will respect you if you don’t manifest respect for yourself. I know you have heard that before. But yet, I still hear women talk about they want men to respect them, while they are dressed like a prostitute! What man can respect a prostitute? Or a woman who looks like one!?!?

We have to look at ourselves with new eyes, Sisters. Stop reading this right now and go look in the mirror. Go look. I’ll wait

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Okay. How do you look right now??? Did you see a clean, neat and well-groomed, decent and intelligent Black woman? Or did you see a so-called African-American who is up from slavery, and does not care about how she looks or goes half-dressed???

Right now, you should make the commitment to always be clean, neat and well-groomed, EVEN AROUND THE HOUSE. You never know when someone will show up unexpectedly or if an emergency will arise when you have to leave the house in a hurry. “If you stay ready, you don’t have to get ready.”

Let’s develop the daily habits of waking up, making up the bed AS SOON AS WE GET OUT OF IT, grooming, and getting dressed EVERY DAY, whether we are going somewhere or not. Do you think a husband wants to look at his wife walking around the house looking unkempt? Emphatically, NO!

You should always be beautiful, in order to keep your husband attracted to you. If you don’t keep up your appearance, he will start looking for beauty in other women and we don’t want that. It is entirely up to you and it is absolutely possible to keep your husband focused and seeing you as the beautiful woman with whom he fell in love. Take pride in your beauty as an Asiatic Blackwoman and be clean, neat and well-groomed FROM THE MOMENT YOU WAKE UP UNTIL YOU GO TO BED EVERY NIGHT.

Single women need to develop these habits now in preparation for the day Allah blesses us with a husband and also for the reasons mentioned above.

APPEARANCE is primary because before you even look at the Brother or open your mouth to speak, your appearance has already spoken for you. The main things to remember concerning our appearance are, “Am I covered?” and “Am I clean, neat and well-groomed?” If we always consider these things then we won’t have to worry so much about attracting the wrong men. We want our appearance to say, “I am an intelligent Blackwoman, with enough decency and self-respect to dress modestly and neatly. So do not approach me unless you are decent and intelligent enough to treat me in the same manner in which I treat myself.”

Your appearance alone can keep the “dogs” at bay. Good men know a Good woman when they see one. You can prevent the drama and headaches and heartbreaks that come from choosing the wrong man, just by the way you dress. Just by the way you dress! Yes, it is that simple. I bear witness.

The Holy Qur-an teaches that we are not even supposed to look an unknown Brother in the eye. Eye contact is usually the first contact between a man and a woman. So we lower our gaze. Believe me when I tell you that this deters men who are only attracted to us physically. And yes, women who are modestly dressed still attract men who are only interested in us physically.

Men with honorable intentions will take the added initiative to approach us in a more respectable manner. Whereas a man who only wants sex and/or a man who is not self-confident enough will be discouraged by our lowering our gaze and seek a less confident or loose woman.

There is so much to talk about on relationships. I have only scratched the surface. But In sha Allah, (If it is the Will of Allah) I will write more on the subject in the future. Thank you and May Allah Bless each and every one of you with a Righteous and Rich Husband!

****Notes to Remember****

*Never try to make eye contact with a Brother.
It shows desperation.
Let him come up to you.

*Never go up to speak to a Brother sitting in a car.
This is the practice of prostitutes.

*Never speak to a man over the phone after 9 pm.
This is too late for any kind of decent conversation.

*If you are standing outside speaking to a Brother,
take the conversation inside off the sidewalk.
This is more appropriate.

*Don’t settle.

*DO NOT IGNORE “WARNING SIGNS!!!”

*You should never be alone with a Brother who is not your husband for obvious reasons.

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