Old Brazilian Freak

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

Oh My God.

Why did I finally go see the spot the lady was trying to rent to me and got totally freaked out.

Okay, when I got there I wasn’t sure how to get in so I called her and asked her to come to the door (wherever it was).

So, I see the screen door on the side of the house open behind the wooden gate and went nearer to it so I could be let in.

Why did this old freak open the wooden gate and all she had on was a short pink bathrobe???

I was like, “This how ya’ll do in Brazil?

She was like, (in a thick Portuguese accent) “Well, I was home and I wasn’t doing nothing so I didn’t see any need to get dressed.

I’m thinking, Even though we just arranged for me to come see your spot?

Old Freak

So, that’s the main reason I’m not taking it but let me show you what it was like

She had birds, fish and two dogs.

Now, I like animals too but there’s a place for them.

My accommodations were just like in the video. Very dirty.

The floor was shiny and smooth cement. I was pretty but not cozy like a home is supposed to be. It was more like a community center floor.

When she said it was a garage, she wasn’t kidding. But I was thinking a clean garage. She had stuff EVERYWHERE, kids bikes, Christmas decorations and all kinds of stuff EVERYWHERE. It was filthy. I couldn’t believe she was actually renting it out. $300 is expensive for something like that but it’s New Orleans. Everywhere in New Orleans is overpriced.

I know I told you already the houses in New Orleans are built so that you have to go through everybody’s room to get to the kitchen and the bathroom, so I would have had to go through this little old lady freak’s room to go take a shower and cook.

Granted there was a powder room but I already told you how religious it is for me to make ablutions.

THEN when she was showing me the room, she said that the bed was really soft and comfortable so I went and tested it with my hand first, then sat down.

Why did this little old freak come and sit down next to me on the bed???

Now, I’m from the society of TRAVELERS where everybody has been to jail and that is something you just do not do!!!

I got the hell out of there after that.

Remember I said it would have to be pretty bad for me to say no because I’ve slept in a horse stable.

The only thing better about this place was that it had plumbing.

But plumbing isn’t everything.

I would rather be homeless than live in that type of wicked environment.

And she has grandchildren!!! SMH

So, I don’t’ remember where I was going last time I wrote, but it looks like California Here I Come

What do you think?

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