بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
AS-SALAAMU ‘ALAIKUM MA BEAUTIFUL & BELOVED ASIATIC BLACK BEBIES!!!
MUAH!!! ❤ ❤ ❤
Allah is the Greatest! That is what Allahu Akbar means in English!!! And Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Our Saviour And Deliverer, Who Came To Put Us On Top of Civilization and Redeem Us and Destroy Those Who Have Destroyed Us is DEFINITELY THE GREATEST GOD WHO HAS EVER LIVED AND WE FOREVER GIVE THANKS AND PRAISES TO HIM AND HIM ALONE FOR HIS LOVE, KINDNESS, MERCY, FORGIVENESS AND BLESSINGS. ALL PRAISE IS DUE TO ALLAH! HE IS THE GREATEST!!!
Okay, Beloved Brothers and Sisters, you know I “LOVE ALLAH,” right??? 🙂 Well, I just suffered the second most disappointing event of my life but Allahu Akbar!
Everything happens for a reason.
As the Sister Captain, I am learning that I have to suffer where others below me do not and Allah is the Best Knower and the Best Planner and it is written in Our Beloved Holy Qur’an Sharrieff that Allah Does Not Place A Burden On Us That We Have Not The Strength To Bear.
So, I first learned with my holistic remedies, that I have to suffer where those below me do not. My remedy worked on everybody else, but when I became afflicted with the same dis-ease, the remedy did not work. So, I just deduced that Our Saviour Wanted Me To Suffer.
The Bible speaks and Our Beloved Messenger, The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) Taught Us Himself, that he would have to suffer all the afflictions that WE have to suffer or else Allah Would Not Have Chosen Him to be the Good Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him).
So, I guess, in a similar fashion, I’m going through it too.
This morning, I went to court FINALLY, to change my name.
Now, I was a little worried because the Sheriffs stole my paperwork and I was afraid the judge would want me to present it. But I went and took care of everything. So before I went to court, I felt pretty confident that the judge would rule in my favor, right? Wrong.
I got to court rather early because my original forms said 8:30 but when I went today, the clerk told me my court time was 10:00. But I wasn’t trippin’. I was going to go to Law School at one point and when I was a pre-teen, I wanted to be a judge. So I rather enjoy court and the discussion of Law and decided to pass the time just listening to the other cases before mine.
While I was waiting before the court opened, a Brother Lawyer happened to get up and look at some paperwork posted on the wall. Above the paperwork, it said something like “Today’s Cases.” So, as I was unsure if the clerk had given me the correct information, I also got up and looked on the wall to see if my case was actually scheduled for that courtroom and time.
To my utter horror, my case was listed but it was highlighted. That worried me. So, I looked and read the highlighted comments. It read that the judge had planned to deny my petition on the grounds that I had a warrant, a restraining order and I’m on probation.
I felt horrible.
But, I remembered I took care of the warrant when I went to jail and the restraining order ends in October and my probation is only summary probation meaning I don’t have to report to a probation officer or anything.
So, instead of just leaving and giving up all hope I decided to wait and see if I could persuade the judge to hear my testimony and maybe change his decision.
I even remembered my little masonic secret. And I knew if all else failed, that would work.
So, I listened to the cases ahead of mine and decided the judge was really trying to be fair. But then he got to the name change cases and he was a jerk and mean for no reason except maybe that the court was in L.A. and they tend to be meaner than the courts surrounding L.A.
For instance, the first time I changed my name in Long Beach, I hadn’t posted a notice in the paper yet, but the judge gave me a continuance.
So today, a Sister with the same issue appeared before this L.A. judge and he told her he didn’t usually issue continuances, but I was praying for the Sister, and he gave her a continuance.
Then the other Sister who was there, the judge had tentatively ordered a denial too, but she presented her evidence and he granted it. Then she asked for another favor. Tomorrow is her birthday and her license is going to expire, so she asked the judge if, instead of waiting the typical week for her paperwork, she could get something right then to take to the DMV. I was silently praying and sending positive “vibes” for her too and the judge granted her request.
Then my turn came.
So, I open with, “As one traveler to another…”
Then the judge interrupts me, “What do you mean? I’m not travelling! I’m sitting right here…”
And I was like, “Okay, you don’t wanna risk getting your head removed…” I think the judges know I’ve been telling everybody what to say when they go to court, or it could just be prejudice against the Sister Captain…
But I went on to explain that I don’t have a warrant anymore and whatnot, but Allah interrupted me and Told Me to Mention that he was travelling again, but I was scared and didn’t. Sometimes Allah Makes me do stuff that makes me appear so CRAZY! IMO anyway. And sometimes, I get scared of what people will think or what will happen and don’t do it. I know that was the reason he denied my request.
When Allah Tells You to do something, if you show greater fear for something or someone else, you suffer the consequences.
And man did I suffer!!! I have not felt that bad in thirty years, when I was denied acceptance to UCLA. That was the only school I ever wanted to go to and it was the only school I applied to. Now you know, when you apply to college, you’re supposed to apply to several. But I didn’t want to go anywhere else and I was in the UCLA Partnership Program at my High School, so it was like GUARANTEED I would get in.
But alas, I was the only person in Program that didn’t get accepted.
I was also the only Black person… So you know how that goes…
So, when I got the heartbreaking news, I retired to a seldom-used staircase and cried my little eyes out.
I was comforted in the way only a Blackman can comfort a Blackwoman and he dried my tears and stood in for Beaux who, although I didn’t know it at the time, was a good friend of his.
This morning, I felt equally as bad, but thirty years maturer, and although I was able to stave off the tears, I did find comfort once again, in the solitude of a seldom-used staircase.
There was no “Prince Charming” (for lack of a better term) this time, but I had my handy-dandy notebook. Writing always soothes my spirit. And by the time I alighted, I was in the mood I began this blog with (or close to it 😉 )
So now, I’m going to just do what Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) and so many other Muslims did and do, and just do like the slavemaster did and change my name without going through the court system.
I mean, I saw my image after I left the court room and I look just like a “terrorist.” I mean, I have on all black and a hijab. So why would an American grant me anything?
But, at least my GOVERNMENT name is a Holy Name of Allah.
I think Beaux wants me to have a secret name anyway… But don’t tell… 😉
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Yesterday, at the Club…
There are three women here who I consider my antagonists.
Well, at dinnertime, one was in front of me in line and instead of just taking the plate like everybody (except me) does, she says, “Can I just have salad and rice?” That’s what I say everyday. You know I’m a vegetarian and that’s all I can ever eat. But I was like, pissed because it felt like she was making mockery of me. I tried to content myself with the saying that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. And deep down I think they want me to like them, but I’m like so far above them, it’s really difficult.
I’m trying to be forbearing. In Arabic, it is an attribute of Allah, Halim, but it is really difficult. I’ve been a leader all my life and it can be so frustrating.
Once when I was about ten or eleven, we went hiking and I was at the front of the pack, nearing the top of the hill and everybody started grabbing on to me, to help them up the hill. And I was only eleven or so and, I got so annoyed! In retrospect, and now that I’m an adult, I have to remember that I have a responsibility to help others who may not be as capable as I am.
My Grandfather used to call me, “Grandma Moses” for some reason, I’ll never know. But it makes me feel kin to Sister Harriet and she was the founder of The Underground Rail Road, so all I can picture her doing and I feel now like I’m supposed to do, is make sure everyone else gets to the top of the hill and then I can go on up.
So, when my turn comes, I say “Can I just have rice and salad?” trying to be a little bit individual, but then the other antagonist comes and repeats the same thing. So, I’m like really wondering what they’re up to.
I think they want to be like me, but don’t know how to. So, they pick up little things I do.
It has been my experience that these situations never turn out in my favor because when I befriend them and tell them everything I think will help them, they just end up thinking they can do it better than the teacher.
Granted, this only happened once and SHE WAS BLACK.
One of these three is Asian, another is white and the third may be mixed Black and something but I think she is a tranny, so I’m going to treat “her” like the other ones.
I am so thankful I wrote this because sometimes, I forget that I’m not supposed to love everybody. I was actually thinking about trying to make peace with a peace-breaking devil and a tranny! The Asian I don’t think wants to be like me.
See how good it is to find your therapy?!?!?! 🙂 It helps you think and sort things out.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I have to write a retraction. Yesterday, I called Ben “Baba” and I forget that he loves devils.
I, intentionally, arrived to the Artwalk late, because I knew the devils would have left by then, but Brother Ramsess told me they were there earlier and I know it’s because of Ben.
He let me use his equipment and mentored me when I was younger, but then I became a Muslim. And, when you become a Muslim, it opens your eyes to things and situations you were blind to before.
So sometimes, I forget I’m not supposed to love everybody. Especially when I see the person…
But ALLAHU AKBAR! 🙂
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So, when I left, I had planned to just go to the Library, but my phone died and I really didn’t have any reason, so I just ended up riding Lu and enjoying the Santa Monica area.
I decided to ride South towards Marina del Rey, since I had picked up this newspaper that I had been seeing since I first started coming out here, but the L.A. Weekly has so soured me towards newspapers that I stopped reading them altogether. It is so filthy.
Nevertheless, I ended up picking up a Santa Monica Daily Press from this Black Barber shop I pass everyday on Broadway and like 17th (it’s called “Cuttin’ Up III, I think) and decided I might as well read The Argonaut too.
I was hesitant to read The Argonaut because I don’t know what an Argonaut is. But after reading the paper, I’m pretty sure it has something to do with seafaring because it only serves beach communities. Let me G it. BRB
Okay, it has something to do with Greek Mythology, (typical of devils) but it is based on a ship, so I was right. Now, I’m kind of hesitant to read it again because this is a spiritual war and any god other than Allah is definitely something I need to avoid.
So anyway, this newspaper, kind of made me expand my horizons into the other beaches near Samo and I wanted to see how far I could get.
I went to the Marina and I used to work out there in the late eighties, right after graduation and it felt kinda good to go back. We used to go there in my twenties too. There was TGI Fridays, Aunt Kizzie’s Back Porch, The Cheesecake Factory, the movie theatres and a shopping center. There was also this club called “Pizzazz” that I was never able to get into. Fake I.D., you know… 😉 And their Bouncers were not having it!
I had on the same shirt these girls had on in this video and some jeans with black leather across the front and just knew I was getting in. But he asked me my birthday…. I felt like The Fat Boys trying to get in “The Fever” in Krush Groove. 😉 SMH
Okay, I can’t post the video with the shirts, because I just went to YT to look for it and those videos are so filthy…
There’s also a tennis center in the Marina that always reminded me of Beaux. But I’ve never been in it.
I went to this Ralph’s just because I used to go there and I really like Ralph’s and they had this ice cream me and Ibnana used to eat every day but they discontinued it. So, when I saw it again, even though my food stamps are almost gone, I had to have it. I hadn’t had it since 2008!
You know, I haven’t really lived off of my faith in Allah (swt) since I was in New Orleans and it feels really good.
I mean, I feel such a sense of accomplishment when I manage to score some food and it’s always GOOD food.
Like Sunday, I was going to spend my last f.s. but I came up on some really good French Fries, some soft dinner rolls and a bag of cherries! You know I love cherries. My parents named me Cheryce and that’s like cerise, which is cherry in French. It can also mean RED, which has always been my favorite color.
Then Saturday, I also didn’t have any food, but I was riding around Samo and came up on this neighborhood (Samo has some bomb houses) and there was a church that does food giveaways, but it’s difficult for me to go to food giveaways from Christians. So, I usually don’t. But I was there early and came up on a big package of cinnamon rolls on the other side of the church. ALLAHU AKBAR!!! So, I was good until Sunday night when I got the fries.
It’s just so interesting being able to live off of faith. It adds a whole new dimension to life.
The only thing I can liken it to is playing “fifteen-to-get-in” (Dominoes). It’s a whole new game.
I was also surprised at the number of Black People there are in the Marina. It’s like the number in Samo and Venice combined. That felt good.
I came up on the Library too, so In Sha Allah, I’m definitely going back. There’s a Fisherman’s Wharf I was trying to get to too yesterday, with shops and whatnot, but I didn’t want to go that way.
I went the opposite way and found the bike trail, sat on a bench, ate my ice cream and paused for the Sunset.
Then I debated just sleeping right there. It was a wooden bench and those are much more comfortable than the metal ones. But I had court in the morning so I wanted to be near the train station so I wouldn’t be late.
So, I pushed back toward Samo.
I ended up going down Washington 🙂 and that leads to the Venice Pier.
How many of you knew there was a Venice Pier???
There’s a Malibu Pier too. FYI.
So, I rode down the Venice Pier and it was beautiful. The Sun had just set and the sky was lit orange and pink behind the Samo mountains.
You could see the ferris wheel on the Samo pier in the distance and it looked miles away. Everything on the coast looks faraway, but it’s not.
So, I reboarded the bike path and the waves were still mountainous like they had been in the morning and Lulu wanted to go to the water, so reluctantly, I took her.
I ended up getting all sentimental and missing Beaux.
I want to do couple stuff, you know?
And sometimes it really hits me.
I’m getting stronger though. Ordinarily, I would have cried, but I didn’t.
I didn’t cry this morning either. I didn’t want to give the judge the satisfaction of bringing the Sister Captain to tears. I’m stronger than I was the first time I felt such disappointment. ALLAHU AKBAR.
So, I just walked on the shore with Lu for awhile. She wanted to stay longer but I didn’t want to stay out too late and oversleep. So, I pushed back to the bike trail. It was just after crepuscule and the people who live in the beach houses had their lights on and for the first time I could see inside.
Some of those houses are thebomb.com. 😉 Hey Sister Shea! 🙂 ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ How’s the blog coming???
I would rather live there on the beach than Beverly Hills. Beach communities are the Best IMHO.
So, I stopped a couple of places along the way, found a big hefty bag of recycleables but left them because I couldn’t do anything with them before I went to court, but ultimately pushed back to Samo because I had to get up early.
I passed a peaceful, pleasant night and woke up to seagulls and the sound of running water. What could be better than that?
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
On the train ride home from court there were some foreigners speaking their language and I eavesdropped trying to place it. I knew it was German, but I don’t really like German and tried to make it French. But when I asked, I was told they were from Germany.
That’s about all I can think of. I have another sort of political blog I wrote in my notebook, but the passion for the topic has gone and it’s never fun writing about anything that you are not passionate about. Like this blog right now. I don’t have anything else to say, so I’m just going to pray the peace and the blessings of Allah forever be upon you all and I’m going to get back to trying to prepare a hardcopy for you.
I just had to mention while I was proofreading this, Aunt Kizzie’s reminded me of this catering truck I saw one day. Across the back they had written, “No disrespect to your Grammy, but we got Grammy.” LOL