بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Black Bebies!

This morning I was actually seriously thinking about leaving “Mr. Washington” forever. Seriously. I knew who I was going to try and replace him with and everything. That’s how it all started. I thought maybe if I got with someone else, Zawji would realize he can’t live without me.

I mean, I almost feel like that’s what he wants me to do. So he can swoop in and take me away from some poor man. Sometimes his self-centeredness borders on the unbelievable.

But, Muslims don’t court, so if I’m gonna do it, I would do it with the intent of marrying the Brother. That’s why I said it would be forever. That was my intention. I would have to accept that Allah is NEVER going to fix him and try to join my half of our soul to someone else.

But Zawji keeps reminding me it’s never going to work. And I know that’s true better than anybody, but I’m almost tempted just to see how far we can go. I think he wants to do something all extra Hollywood like this shit. As if my life isn’t dramatic enough. Being from L.A. can have its drawbacks.

https://youtu.be/6rLH9tpFAPA

I don’t know which is worse – “Mrs. Dwayne Wayne” or “Mrs. Whitley Wayne” SMH

I think about one of my aunts who married the wrong man. She’s miserable but they’re still together. The guy I was going to replace Zawji with is her husband’s Doppel.

But knowing Zawji, he would probably let me marry the Brother just so I would be miserable.

So then I thought maybe I could replace him with another one of his doppels.

But the last time I did that, it turned out so horribly that I NEVER WANT TO DO THAT!!!

So, looks like I’m stuck.

Unless I could just string the Brother along forever or until Zawji comes around.

He told me that’s what he’s doing…

But the difference is, HE’s the man. And the one traditionally who is supposed to pop the question. So, he can NEVER pop the question and just keep stringing the dumb bitch along.

But if my replacement pops the question, I would have to say no. And I would be back at one. With maybe a few years of happiness and companionship to look back on…

I feel like I’ve kinda done this though.

I’ve always told Brothers, I’m in love with someone else. They always jump at the challenge to try and turn me away. Never gonna happen but I guess it wouldn’t hurt to let a Brother try…

Worse case scenario – ….I break the Brother’s heart but I can live with that. I mean, as long as he knows from the start…

This is looking better and better the more I think about it….

I was just so concerned about “the poor brother” but if he knows, then he can’t blame me when Mr. Washington “puts on his dashiki!” CHEAH!!!!! (You’ll get it after you watch the movie below 😉 )

Now, I’m feeling like maybe perhaps I could start catching feelings but he’s gonna try and pop the question when I’m feeling like Zawji is never gonna come around and I’m ready to give up on him. But then we’ll still have to go through with the ceremony and this Brother is brilliant. He is probably capable of planning some extemporaneous wedding like Dwayne and getting me stuck.

I just have to keep in mind that this time is FOREVER so I can NEVER marry anyone but Dwayne’s doppel. 😉

Operation Transient Happiness is in effezzect! PHASE ONE already in progress. Update forthcoming.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Last night the children, who are not children anymore, threw a celebration for A.J. Week. I already told you about how me and Zawji are at the age where they stay up and we go to bed. So that’s what we did.

They didn’t keep us up too late though. We have some super responsible children.

I got some more chocolate too. Montauk cookies. My absolute favorite.

My Subway sandwich tickets arrived today too! So, I’ll be getting some cookies from them too. They’re my other absolute favorite chocolate chip cookies but I like them a little bit better because they can heat them up for you! Ymmmssss….. Yaaaay Subway!!!

My California I.D. with the Santa Monica address arrived today too! Yaaayyy!!! I can get a library card!!!! They charge non-residents $25 a year to get a library card and $3/hour to use the computer. It’s about to be on and poppin’! I get two hours there and two hours in Malibu and whenever I can get on at the Club.

In sha Allah, next month I’ll be able to replace my Chromebook, then I won’t have these issues.

Tonight, they’re having something at the Hammer. Two things actually.

They’re screening “Breakin'” and you know I’m a Hip-Hop Heavyweight, but it’s just gonna piss me off. I mean they deliberately put a devil in the role that was meant for a Black girl. And especially after just finishing this movie…

First some disclaimers

1. Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) Taught us not to copy the styles of the Africans, so we are not supposed to wear their multi-colored fabrics (Dashikis). Nor are we supposed to wear our hair sticking out all over our heads (Afros/Naturals).
2. Gladys Ann (“Mrs. Brooks”) was wrong for TELLING John Henry (“Mr. Brooks”) to give her a job at his barber shop. In Islam we are taught that “nowhere in Islam is the woman required to go out and work.” The allowance is enough.
3. Don’t listen to the chief hypocrite, Malcolm.
4. They should have resolved Booker T’s issue with Blackwomen by cementing him in a relationship with that Sister.

Okay, now you can watch the movie. Enjoy! 😀

https://youtu.be/rSSizD7xpME

I found out about this movie from Re Re. She married Glynn Turman (“Gideon”). And I have heard rumours that he was abusive but she didn’t mention anything like that in her book. However, to let her tell it, she had the perfect life, so it’s understandable that she wouldn’t include something so controversial.

I kind of like the brother because he’s a cowboy and has a camp for inner-city youth. But he did a complete one-eighty going from super conscious Gideon in “Five on the Blackhand Side,” where Stormy Monday toasted Islam by saying,”May your toes always point towards Mecca.” to Colonel Taylor on “A Different World,” telling his son not to join the Nation of Islam because we don’t eat the poison, filthy, divinely-prohibited flesh of the poison animal.

• I’m going to try and stop cursing. I don’t actually curse because I think for a curse to be effective, it has to be spoken and I don’t curse when I speak. Only when I write. But nevertheless, I’m going to stop that too, In Sha Allah. I’m doing it Fi Si Billah, so In Sha Allah, I will be successful. Make Du’a for your Captain. I’m still a little rough around the edges… ❤
• There is going to be a jazz/funk collective playing at the Fisherman’s Village in the Marina on the 27th. I think that’s Sunday. They go on at 2 and 5. In sha Allah, I’ll be there. 😀
• I call ALL white women “Eve” now. It helps me keep in mind how Eve’il they are.