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Now, you know I’m in the Nation and we don’t celebrate nothing but Saviour’s Day.
Valentine’s Day just reminds me that Saviour’s Day is coming!!!!!
Yaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
Everyday should be like Valentine’s Day when you’re really in love anyway.
Like ME & ZAWJI
He gives me roses and chocolate every day of the year and don’t say nothing about nobody named St. Valentine!
He gives me those things because he loves me
AND
I LOVE HIM
Because he shows me how much he loves me
BY
Giving me things I love.
Complete your cipher.
Valentine’s Day is not about roses and chocolate.
It’s about appreciating (or should be) the person who loves you.
BUT
The problem with the devil and his days is that he designates one day a year to celebrate important things.
And belittles the importance by commercializing on them.
I think if you have to set aside a day to show someone how much you appreciate them it shows you might not really appreciate them.
Let me give you an example.
I used to be married and when our anniversary came, I didn’t remember.
I felt stupid when my husband came talking about “Happy Anniversary.”
I felt bad because I didn’t remember. I thought maybe I didn’t love him like I should. I guess I really didn’t seeing as how we’re not married anymore.
But not only that, I felt stupid celebrating and I didn’t know anything about the nation yet. Well, not much.
For me, anniversaries are unimportant because I planned to be married for the rest of my life so what difference does it make that we made it a year?
I mean, why celebrate?
We should celebrate our love (marriage) EVERY DAY and grow deeper in love EVERY DAY if we’re really meant to be together.
We weren’t.
This society puts emphasis on the wrong things.
Who cares what day you got married on?
As long as you marry your one true love.
EVERY DAY you’re together should be celebrated.
Just on the strength of appreciating that you were lucky enough to find each other
Knowing that there are many people who are still looking.
I mean, at least celebrate a week!
Love is important.
Valentine’s Week SMH
Should be all year.
EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So, this year has been kinda weird.
A couple days ago I was feeling very emotional.
I had just “broken up” with those two Muslims and was lonely as hell.
I went to see Pops and sat on his lap and just cried cried cried.
He told me something like I have a responsibility to music.
I dig that.
But, I’m not singing or playing music publicly until the devil is destroyed.
I thought maybe just for Black people but somebody might record it and the devil might get ahold to it.
So cheah
Anyway, the next night, I went back to see Pops and there was this Brother there.
He came and really started talking to me.
His voice!
He reminds me of this Brother but better because he doesn’t have to turn it on, it’s just naturally like that AND he has a NEW ORLEANS ACCENT!!!
SO
He makes jewelry and sells it which is really admirable to ya gurl.
I was thinking this morning while I was sitting across the street from a Black-owned car wash that I admire this Brother more than Bebe (the owner of the car wash) because although Bebe probably makes a lot of money, he is still a servant.
Brother T
IS A PRODUCER!!!
It takes more ingenuity to develop a product (design, manufacture, produce, market) and sell it than to just serve people.
Anybody can wash a car.
Not everybody has the power to create something from nothing.
SO
We kicked it that first night (Sunday)
Early in the morning, he told me his mother was going to call and he was going over her house and told me he wanted to introduce me to her.
I didn’t go.
He knows all about Zawji, of course.
I even told him that Zawji sent him to me so I wouldn’t be alone.
It didn’t dawn on me that it was Valentine’s Day until yesterday.
He was at his mom’s all day and then last night when he went to the Quarter to sell his wares, I went to sleep and when I woke up this morning, he had gone to Ma Dukes’ again.
Let me G why Dilla called his Mom “Ma Dukes” BRB
“How did you come to be called Ma Dukes?My son, Dilla, and his friends just started calling me that and I never asked why.”
I am probably the only woman in the world who would admire someone like him over Bebe, but across the street is a store that sells stripper paraphernelia and next door is a restaurant and written in the cement is the name of the owner of the restaurant and Bebe’s name together. They are a couple.
I’m afraid Bebe is a low-key pimp, using the Car Wash as a front.
No talent.
Leeches.
I realized that those two Muslim Brothers are just like other homeless Brothers I have met. I wrote about two Brothers I met in Atlanta.
They are always two Brothers. One is significantly older (maybe fifteen years) older than the other one, has a habit (cigarettes, coke, liquor or whatever) and uses the younger brother (phone, energy, contacts, ideas, creativity usually) and the younger brother misguidedly looks up to the older Brother. But when the younger brother starts to come up, the older brother holds him back. It’s sad. He feels obligated to the older Brother and doesn’t want to leave him, but the older brother is holding him back and knows if the younger brother leaves him, his life is basically over unless he can find another source to leech off of.
That’s why Tip said the music industry (rule #4080 ) and I think life in general, is made up of so many shady people. They find someone with talent (artist) and leech off of them.
That’s why I fly solo dolo because I know it’s harder for a lady. We are naturally dependent. I’ve got Allah and Zawji (who are both unseen on me) but talk to me five minutes. 😉
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
T is a great guy but I’m too old to be with a Brother who is still dependent on his mother. I did that in High School. I’ve been out of school thirty years and if you are introducing me to your mother at her house something is wrong.
Invite us both to dinner. I would prefer it to be at your house more than a restaurant because your house will be our house and gives me a firmer foundation for future dinners. If you’re really serious anyway.
Some mothers don’t want to pass the baton to their son’s wife.
They want him to remain dependent on her forever.
Some fathers are the same way with their daughters.
I think it’s like that when they are not satisfied with their mate.
So they look for love from their children.
It’s sickening.
They can’t let go and let their children find their fulfillment in their mate.
Your spouse should be your everything.
That’s why I call him my ZAWJI.
He is my father now.
I don’t need to ask my daddy for anything monetarily anymore.
Zawji got it covered. I’m dependent on him financially.
He is my BEST FRIEND.
I don’t need any girlfriends.
Zawji got it covered. I’m dependent on him for everything including advice about girl stuff.
The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) is a MAN, but he made ladies out of former prostitutes. And if you think about it, it makes sense. Who can teach a lady how she should act better than a man? He knows what men like. And The Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him) was chosen by Allah, to be HIS MESSENGER. So He Knows How To Make Women of Allah. That’s what I want to be.
Zawji is my Brother.
I don’t need anybody else to protect me.
Zawji got it covered.
He is my son.
I get to mother him and do all the things he would go to his mother for.
I got it covered.
Maybe not because he’s not with me yet.
In Sha Allah, soon. 😀
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Oh, and He is my husband.
So we get to do all the things I can’t and don’t want to do with the other men in my life. 🙂
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Everybody on Facebook is talking about that movie.
The Funny thing about the Johnsons or something.
Maybe Strange things.
I don’t know.
But that movie is really sick.
I saw part of it and it really messed me up.
Having been a victim of incest, it made me really feel like something was wrong.
With me!
The victim!
I turned it off but somebody on FB said it gets worse. Much worse.
No, I didn’t turn it off right then.
I saw one more scene that made me turn it off.
I think America is the no I KNOW America is the most wickedest place that has ever been on our planet.
I wanted to be a Nun growing up.
I think because there is solace in being in solitude.
I could totally live in a cave if it had central heating and a bathroom.
I don’t even need a kitchen. A hot plate every now and then would be nice but I could live without it in exchange for not having to be around any people.
Prophet Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him) of fourteen hundred years ago used to go up into the cave to get away from it all. And that is where he received the first revelation of the Holy Qur’an.
The Messenger (Peace Be Upon Him) taught us that Allah revealed the Holy Qur’an to him.
Most people think He (Allah) used an Angel (Jibril/Gabriel).
But the point is he was alone and away from everybody and everything.
This world makes you think something is wrong with you if you do that.
They even have a medical/psychological diagnosis for it – isolating.
And they FORCE you to go to group.
#trialsofapsychpatient
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Anyway
He gave me a bracelet.
I let him put it on me.
He tried to cuff me.
I let him
for one day.
He told me Don’t Talk To Anybody Else.
I even did it.
For one day.
I took it off.
And it was almost physically painful.
Bracelets are just as important as a ring almost.
It’s symbolic of cuffing you.
I haven’t figured out the ring yet.
Oh yeah, someone said it’s because the ring finger is connected to the heart or something.
I always heard them announce buses going here and was always glad I was never on one of those buses.
But here I am.
It has creeped me out ever since David Koresh and his cult madness.
You know all I remember is that some people got shot up.
Let me G it. BRB
Okay wait.
We’re riding through the city and it is a deserted Sunday morning
Hella creepy.
Looks like white trash central.
The city is bigger than I imagined.
It reminds me of Needles, California
Where all of the residents looked like the products of incest.
Texas has a symbol too.
Like New Orleans/Louisiana has the Fleur de Lis.
Texas’ symbol is the five-pointed star.
Like the Cowboys or The Lone Star State.
I’m surprised I never realized it before.
But I saw this guy with a baseball hat on and it just had a star on it.
I thought that was cool.
Everybody knows it’s for Dallas.
But I’m taking the scenic route on this trip and have spent two days in TX
And there are stars everywhere.
But it’s also brown everywhere
Where it’s supposed to be green.
I’m like
“Why don’t you water the grass?”
L.A. has an excuse
Maybe they’re going through a drought too.
Either way
I don’t like it.
It’s ugly.
Maybe it’s because it’s Winter
Because A LOT, I would go so far as to say MOST
Of the Trees are Brown too.
There are a lot of cattle eating this brown grass tho.
If this is what Winter in Texas looks like,
You can have it.
I’ll take Manhattan.
*****
I think I might go to jail when I get to New Orleans.
I don’t have any money and I need to eat.
I don’t really want to go to the hospital
BECAUSE
They know me.
They know me in jail too
BUT
I haven’t been in a while.
I got kicked out of jail in Nevada.
Craziest thing I ever heard.
They said they were giving me a “Kick-Out.”
LOL
Have you ever heard of anybody getting KICKED OUT of JAIL???
Only me.
I don’t know WHAT I’m going to do when I get to New Orleans.
I mean,
My Faith is in Allah and Zawji
They always surprise me with something great
BUT
I always have to suffer a little first.
This anxiety is suffering.
Not knowing what to expect.
The worst part is being cold.
I can steal to alleviate hunger
AND
I can handle being dirty (although I detest it)
BUT
Being cold is the worst.
It got so cold last time I was here I couldn’t believe it.
And L.A. was like 80 degrees.
Worst thing was the rain.
I would even take rain over cold.
Clothes dry fast when you’re wearing them.
I’m at the point of even humbling myself to the point of trying to take advantage of their homeless resources.
I think about what happened last time (when they turned me away for no reason other than I’m a Muslim) and I STILL want to try it.
SMH
Looks like I might have to take off my garment too.
I mean and put on other clothes so I can wash it.
I was hoping maybe to wash it when I get this hotel but unless they have automatic dryers, it’s not going to be dry by checkout time.
I would go to some fast food place and use their automatic dryers but I don’t have anything else to put on and I am not about to stand there in my underwear…
I know where to go for services but that’s about it.
I don’t know the procedures except that they make you wait like all homeless resources.
I’m officially in the south.
The sky just got ten times more beautiful!
The clouds are on overdrive racing across the sky.
Two layers of clouds and the beautiful Sun high above.
Hawks everywhere and almost just as high.
I hope I can find the Moors this time.
I always find the Hebrews but it’s like the Moors hide from me.
They know I just want to mess with them.
LOL
When I found the Hebrews in L.A.
It was so funny.
We were outside West Angeles
And one of them got so mad he ripped up my flier.
I was like
Oh No he didn’t.
He was that mad at me.
But what could I do?
I couldn’t put it back together.
I mean, I could but I had a ton more and really?
I was not about to get into a fight with no full-grown man.
Been there. Done that.
Besides, I know he was just mad and that’s victory in itself.
Why you mad tho?
LOL
I got to go in and see my old Pastor
Who is now a Bishop.
I pretended like I was deaf so I could sit in the front row.
I was trying to get as close to him as possible.
I wanted to kill him for lying to me as a little girl.
But he looked like he has one foot in the grave already
SMH
I mean he could barely stand up.
LOL
I remember when he used to run across the stage and kick his leg up.
I know his audience has been there awhile too
BECAUSE
There were parts of his sermon that everybody would recite with him
In Unison!
All I could do was shake my head.
I mean,
I saw Whitney reference preachers reciting their scripts word for word in Preacher’s Wife
BUT
I didn’t know anyone who did it.
Or at least,
I didn’t know I knew anyone who did it.
Anyway,
I’m glad he’s almost dead.
I know he’s a Mason.
I interviewed him in the nineties
When I was on my spiritual quest.
I know he only granted me the interview because my father used to be his deacon and his wife was my first grade teacher
BUT
Going back to his church was like the chickens coming home to roost.
I was so pissed.
His security guard practically felt me up ostensibly trying to get me up out of there.
I felt so dirty.
Christians.
But I’m satisfied knowing he’s so close to death.
All Praise Is Due To Allah For The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)
Everything in Texas is big.
I remember my daughter telling me that when she came out here to visit a friend.
And it’s true.
It’s like someone hit the zoom in this matrix.
And these southern devils are so ANNOYING!
Everytime I hear one, it takes me right back to pre-1865
AND
I
JUST
WANNA
SCREAM!
The Black people sound cute.
It’s almost unbelievable that they actually talk like that.
In New Orleans, the Black People have completely different accents than the devils.
AND
The devils know it too
Because they try to say “Baby” like the Black people.
AND
I’m like
STOP.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
12:00 p.m.
I’m so upset, well kinda because I’m not going to be in L.A. for PAFF (Pan-African Film and Arts Festival)
All Praises Are Due To Allah, Master Fard Muhammad,
To Whom Be Praised FOREVER!!!
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved And Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!
I feel like I’m in New Orleans already!
You know what?
I used to say “Nawlins” because I thought that’s how people from New Orleans say it.
I was at the Women’s (Or rather Bull-dyke and Trannies ) Center yesterday and these Sisters were reading my bag and one of them said, “Nawlins” like I used to. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought they say that.
I think New Orleanians got tired of people mocking them and started saying New Orleans, or New Or-le-ins, or New Orlins, but I have NEVER heard anyone say “Nawlins” I’ve heard “Rawlins” 😛 but never “Nawlins” 😉
I got my ticket and I’m sitting here thinking about Zawji, listening to Musiq Soulchild and it made me feel like writing.
It’s so strange but the Holy Qur’an says, “We plan and Allah Plans. Surely, Allah is the BEST OF PLANNERS.”
It is so true.
I had this schedule of all the things I wanted to do today,
BUT
When I woke up this morning, nothing went according to MY plan.
But everything Went according to ALLAH’S PLAN.
And, I must admit
I love HIS Plan.
I just wish He Would Tell Me BEFOREHAND.
I mean
Surprises are nice
BUT
He ALWAYS makes me sad first
Or mad
Or stressed.
I met this guy named Mr. Wright in the nineties,
On one of my adventures.
We were at Cal State Long Beach at nighttime for some reason,
And we were having a good time.
He must’ve been Zawji’s Doppel because he danced the whole night.
I didn’t know anything about Doppels back then.
BUT
I
REALLY
LIKED
HIM
.
I mean, his NAME was Mr. Wright (Right).
I told him I should call my mom and tell her I met Mr. Right. LOL
He ended up calling HIS mom and letting me talk to her.
That was flattering.
Guess I was wifey material.
Anyway, he was talking about how Christmas is so awesome because it’s a surprise. I wish I could remember exactly what he said because I agreed. Although, Christmas as a practice is evil as Hell. But I think about how I felt when he told me something like, you have to go through some pain or patience, before you get to the good reward.
I think that is just in this world.
In the Hereafter, In Sha Allah, it won’t be like this.
We Can Just Get Straight To The Good Part.
And Live Happily Ever After.
With no bad parts.
That’s what I’m expecting.
In this world, we think there has to be some type of antagonism.
But Islam is not that.
It’s ALL GOOD.
I started not to post this because they don’t have on shirts
AND
MC Hammer was NOT an MC.
He couldn’t rap for nothing.
Although I did like one line he said.
But he could dance his behind off.
I remember in the nineties I had one of the best days of my life.
Boys 2 Men, Jodeci and MC Hammer were having a show at The Forum.
So, me and my cousins went to see Boyz 2 Men at some press thingie they had earlier in the day, at the Hard Rock in the Beverly Center. I had a camera and used up the whole roll.
Who knew we would be face to face with Jodeci later?
The radio station had announced they were having some secret location joint, but I guess Allah Told me where it was going to be because we went and there they were.
That was when I almost got in the limo with Dalvin. LOL
It reminds me of that video with Aretha Franklin “A Rose is Still A Rose” where the Sister left her friends to roll off with Tip.
I didn’t go though.
I looked at my friends.
Then I looked at him sitting there.
AND
I Was In The Limo Door Halfway In…
He Was Fine As Hell
BUT
I just felt like a hoe.
There are more important things in life than
GOOD LOOKS
AND
MONEY
AND
FAME
AND
LIMOS
LOL
I haven’t seen this video in a few years and it reminds me so much of myself.
I am so thankful for Allah and Islam.
Otherwise, I would still be out there trying to replace Zawji.
Promiscuous and ending up used up;
Crying
AND
Heartbroken.
Al Hamdulillah!
Sisters, don’t give a man your most valuable possession until after he’s proven he deserves it by marrying you first.
Even still, some men will just marry you to get it or for reasons other than love.
PRAY
And Ask Allah
If he is your Zawji.
And LISTEN
Even if you don’t like the answer.
I just told you
He hurts you sometimes first.
Then surprises you with something better than you could have ever dreamed!!!
ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
ALLAH IS THE GREATEST!!!!!!!!
So, I’m sitting in the bus station bawling.
I don’t even try anymore.
To hide my tears.
They’re just going to have to see my crying.
I just don’t look to see if anybody is watching
AND
Let them flow.
So, when we saw Jodeci, K-Ci walked right in front of us singing TLC’s “Baby, Baby, Baby” right along with the music they were playing –
I thought that was kinda cool.
He’s singing somebody else’s song. And a girl group!
So anyway,
Here he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF US
Like he was TRYING to get our attention,
And I really regretted wasting all my film on Boyz 2 Men who were a little distance away on stage.
I could’ve taken a picture WITH him.
Oh yeah,
After the Boyz 2 Men press conference
Why did we follow them when they got in the car? LOL
They drove for a little while, then I guess they realized we were following them, so they pulled into this empty parking lot and we followed them right on in.
Then they stopped and their bodyguard got out the car and came up to my window and told me to stop following them, real mean like.
LOL
So, we went to the Jodeci thingie.
Then we got into a car accident but nobody was hurt.
I think one of my cousins got paid.
But I didn’t want to go to therapy.
So I didn’t get any money.
BUT
Anyway
We went on to the forum and saw both groups and MC Hammer.
I had seen Boyz 2 Men before
But that’s another story… 😛
I used to really like them.
I had this cassette tape of the “Motownphilly” single
And it had “snippets” LOL
Of songs from the whole album.
I used to wear that thing OUT!
I even made a plaid shorts outfit with a matching tie like they used to wear.
LOL
First outfit I ever made myself!
I used to wear it with a long-sleeved, button-down denim
And you couldn’t tell me nothing.
BACK THEN.
I thought I was so cute.
You could tell me a lot now.
Like how women shouldn’t wear anything masculine –
Like button down shirts
AND
Definitely not TIES!
BUT
We Should Try To Be As Feminine As Possible!
In skirts and dresses and delicate jewelry,
Ribbons and bows and pink stuff.
Allahu Akbar
For The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)
And The M.G.T. & G.C.C!
BUT
Anyway
Hammer put on a bomb show.
He can’t rap but he can entertain so I’m not that mad.
I have higher standards now.
You can’t distract me with music and dancing.
I listen for vocal ability.
BUT
Remember that dancer with the triangle haircut? LOL
Let me find that Addams family video.
We used to wear that video into the ground on the strength of his dancing.
At the show he was up on a riser by himself and I didn’t even see Hammer because I was too busy watching him.
We were far away which was unusual for me, but still had a great time.
I’m trying to remember if TLC was on the lineup too.
I don’t pay any attention to the females. LOL
This was before I started doing my show.
But, we used to have so much fun.
I had so much fun in my twenties that if I never have fun another day in my life
I’m Gucci.
Okay, that Addams family video takes too long if there is a good part.
This one is better.
So, I guess he knew he wasn’t an emcee because he dropped that part of his name and just started going by Hammer.
Good lookin’, Kid.
So, I guess I’m just gonna chill until it’s time for my bus to ship out.
This time I’m going to The French Quarter instead of the regular Greyhound station.
Should make for an interesting trip.
I was able to book a room at the Guest House.
It cost more than I was expecting, but Zawji told me not to be niggardly. So, I went ahead and booked it.
It feels good knowing I’ll have a place to stay and freshen up and thank Allah for my safe arrival.
It always rains when I leave or arrive in L.A.
I think I make her emotional.
One time when I arrived, she was raining. I was sad expecting sunny skies, but I think she was happy for me to come home.
Now she’s crying because I’m leaving.
I kinda wanted to go to the beach one more time before I left but Zawji wants me to leave wanting more.
I heard that’s the mark of a good performer. Leave your audience wanting more.
I used to think that was unfair.
I want to leave them satiated.
But Zawji is the God, so I have to go along with Him, if I’m wise.
If I went to the beach yesterday or today, I wouldn’t be in a big hurry to come back.
AND
I have NO IDEA how long I’m gonna be in the New
BUT
Anything that makes it easier to leave is welcome.
I NEVER want to leave New Orleans.
I have a pass for the Jazz Festival waiting for me, so
In Sha Allah
I’ll be there for that.
It would be nice to see The Roots again.
And they’re performing with Ursher. LOL
I like him now.
Even though I hate that “do your thing, girl” song he has telling his girl he doesn’t care if she’s a stripper. What kinda mess is that?
These young folks need some boundaries.
He has another song with some rapper, I forgot his name, Future or somebody, but I thought he was a girl when I saw the video. I don’t like that song either.
Let me think.
…
It’s “No Limit” with Young Thug.
In sha Allah, he’ll reign it in before he gets too far gone.
I couldn’t even watch the video, I was so grossed out when he turned around and I saw he was a man.
Ewwww!!!!!
I hate that.
It happens in real life and never ceases to creep me out.
Men cut your hair.
Long hair and mustaches is the grossest thing in the world.
And Sisters DON’T CUT YOUR HAIR.
You gross me out.
There is nothing creepier than not knowing if a person is male or female.
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or thinking they’re female and then seeing he’s a male or vice versa.
America deserves everything coming to her for such abominations.
Our poor children are growing up confused.
I remember this little baby girl asked my son if he was a boy.
Her mother was a bulldyke and had her around all these freaks.
I wanted to cry for that poor baby.
😥 😥 😥 😥 😥
So back to the JazzFest…
I’m kinda sad about the Roots.
I liked when it was just Tariq, Ahmir, Hub and the guy on keys. Let me G him. BRB
Oh yeah, I remember – Kamal.
They all have Muslim names. Probably Hub too, although I don’t know his real name.
I wonder why he left the group.
He did seem to be A LOT older than the rest of them.
I hope he’s not sick or nothing.
I also hope it wasn’t creative differences.
Although, I wouldn’t be surprised.
They have changed a lot since they used to be at the House of Blues every month.
They have horns now, which, surfacely, looks like a good thing.
Christian McBride told me he used to play bass with them in High School.
I guess before they got Hub.
I miss him and his licorice stick.
I hope he’s okay.
Anyway, they’re like the O/G Hip-Hop band.
Now, it seems more emcees are incorporating live bands into their shows.
I love acoustic.
Drum machines have no soul.
It’s not the same.
Pushing buttons… LIVE?
I play drums a little and there’s no feeling in the world like hitting the drum or a cymbal.
It communicates your emotion through sound.
Using a drum machine instead of drums is like pushing a button on the side of your steering wheel for your horn instead of the big thingie in the middle.
You can’t BANG down on it!!!
Or like pushing a button to hang up the phone as opposed to slamming the receiver down.
You can’t put your HEART into it.
I like acoustic pianos better than electric.
You can put feeling into an acoustic piano depending on how you play it.
With electric pianos all the notes sound the same.
I was talking with this musician about combination acoustic/electric pianos like they have guitars.
I would like the pre-recorded beats and ability to record like they have on electric pianos but with the option to play acoustic to get that wonderful sound and feeling.
I remember when my daughter was little, I found out she was upset because she had to wait until THE LAST DAY IN MAY for her birthday.
I felt guilty because I let my doctor induce my labour. 😥
If I had not, she would have been born in June like most of my family. 😥
And probably earlier in the month… 😥
Sorry Pumpkin. 😥
I don’t think I ever told you that. But I’m like most old boring people…. Telling the same stories over and over and over and over and over and over…. 😉
My Grandmother told me not to let my doctor induce my labour.
But girls are bigger to carry than boys and to put it quite frankly, not trying to excuse my behaviour, but I felt like a “beached whale” and was tired of being pregnant.
Maybe if my grandmother had told me “WHY” I shouldn’t let him induce my labour I would have listened and maybe wouldn’t have done it.
Now, I really regret it and would advise women to just let the baby come on naturally. Even if you’re “overdue” like I was. The Baby knows when it’s time to be born. Everything should happen when it’s supposed to. Especially something as important as a birth date and time. Science shouldn’t interfere.
It could set off a chain of events that is hard to correct.
My daughter and I don’t even speak to each other now.
Maybe if I had let her be born when SHE wanted to be born, we would have a better relationship.
But only Allah knows.
My sister told me later that doctors just do that (schedule deliveries) so that they won’t have to get up if you go into labour in the middle of the night NATURALLY.
I feel like such a victim.
But my poor daughter has to go through the rest of her life waiting on THE LAST DAY IN MAY for her birthday. Sorry again, Sweet Pumpkin! 😦
We don’t celebrate any days in The Nation Of Islam anyway except SAVIOUR’S DAY (February 26th). But I didn’t start practicing Islam until she was 14. Wow! It doesn’t seem like she was that old. She’s almost 26 now. Unbelievable.
I still picture her as an adorable chubby little toddler. I can’t believe she’s old enough to marry and make me a grandmother!
When I was her age, I was already divorced, about to graduate college, working full time and raising a 5 year-old. I had had a nervous breakdown but at least I made it past 25.
At that time, it was a big deal (for the Brothers anyway) to live past 25.
Pac didn’t make it. 😥
Although I’ve heard some music that sounded like him if he put it out now.
No lie.
Blew my mind.
But, Michael Jackson puts out a new song every day to this day.
Low-key though…
Janet was better.
I read that when they did “Scream”
They were real competitive with each other.
I don’t believe that.
I remember watching the Jackson’s movie that Jermaine produced and it showed when Michael went solo that they were proud of him, not at all jealous. Also, I read the introduction to a J5 compilation written by Janet wherein she said how proud she was of her brothers growing up and how much she loved their music.
So, I think that competition thing is just media hype
Most people prefer girl singers though for some reason.
I think it’s something about the pitch of the female voice that’s more entertaining.
Some Muslims believe women are not supposed to sing publicly.
I don’t.
The Messenger (PBUH) did say we were not supposed to be singing filthy Love Songs though; tempting men and whatnot.
I just sing to my Zawji
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Mike was a biter too.
He bit his dances from Jeffrey Daniels (of Soul Train and Shalimar fame) and he bit the Moonwalk from some Breakers.
I wish more people knew.
I wonder if THEY knew he was stealing their moves.
That would be different.
But I feel deceived.
I thought Mikey came up with that stuff on his own.
I can’t stand biters.
Even if he did get clearance from them. What about your fans who think YOU came up with it?
It’s like Rakim penning “Summertime” for Willard, Jr.
When he sold it to him, he had to give up all rights and he may have been cool with that, but it’s DECEPTIVE.
I almost feel like singers and rappers should only sing songs that they’ve written.
Jazz singers and players will credit the songwriter before or after they perform a number but who knew Ice Cube wrote all of NWA’s songs before the movie?
Unless you buy the album (but who buys albums nowadays) you may never know who wrote a song. I guess you can Google it. But even still people lie.
A journalist asked RA if he wrote Summertime and stood there and lied straight through his teeth.
Look how Flav looks at him
That money can be a big incentive.
But that’s hard for me to accept, especially being a writer.
Biters take credit for somebody else’s creativity.
It’s deceptive.
I mean, I don’t know. The whole thing is confusing.
It almost makes me never want to sing or play music publicly again.
I heard this Brother sing a song in my style and it just shut me up.
I never even knew I had a style until I heard him. LOL
It was when I used to go to Day Therapy and they would pick us up from L.A. and take us up to the mountains. So we were in the car about three hours every day and he had been listening to me sing for about a week and then one day he started singing sounding JUST LIKE ME.
It really opened my eyes.
I didn’t know I had a sound that was imitatable. LOL (making up words again 😉 ) But there he was. Singing just like me.
It made me more conscious about who I sing around, especially over an extended period of time.
I remember once I was in the hospital and I drew this picture of some flowers and left it in the day room with the other pictures other people had drawn and/or colored.
Then, one day in Art Therapy, this she-devil starts talking about she was going to draw a picture.
Why did she draw the exact same pictures of flowers I had drawn.
I was pissed.
I said, “You stole that from me!” and went to get my picture.
Then, like a real devil, SHE GOT MAD and knocked the paint water all over my picture.
I was stunned.
I mean, how you gonna get mad at ME for biting MY style.
Devils.
I know she was just mad because I called her out.
But I didn’t tell her to bite.
LOL
I guess when you put your art out there, you leave it open for someone to bite. Truthfully, she didn’t know that it was me who had drawn the picture, so I shouldn’t take it personally. But the fact that she announced that she was going to draw a picture, and then drew MY picture like she had come up with the concept, was too much for me.
Anyway, I said all that to say, that this is THE LAST DAY IN JANUARY
And it feels like it.
This morning was so-so.
Kinda cool, kinda not so cool.
I get sick and tired of biters trying to be close to me, trying to steal my shine.
I just move.
Then they sit in my seat.
First breakfast was aight, I got to drink some milk.
Second breakfast we had Cream of Wheat, which I was so thankful was not grits.
A while ago, there was this big debate on Facebook about whether grits were better with sugar or with salt. Either way they are too hard on the digestive system for your good health. Do not eat them at all.
I had them one time when I was little. We used to pick up this Brother for school and every morning he would get in the car with a mouthful of grits. Thankfully, my mother never prepared grits for us. Well, one morning, I happened to go inside and I tasted them for myself. I almost threw up. Literaturely. I gagged on them.
I’ve come to learn that most foods that I don’t like are not good for you anyway. Like grits. And other foods that I initially didn’t like, but came to like because it was all I was given or made myself like because everybody else liked: peanut butter, greens, black-eyed peas, ham, lobster, MEAT, cornbread, pasta… None of these foods prolong life, rather they take life away.
BUT
It is THE LAST DAY IN JANUARY.
We are one month into 2017. It is so funny how fast time flies. I’m still getting used to the idea of being in 2017. Next year, I will have been out of High School 30 YEARS!
BUT
I feel like I’m STILL in High School!!!
LOL
😀
Seriously though.
Admittedly, I’m a year younger than most of the people I graduated with because I started school when I was four. I told you my mother never loved me. She just wanted me out of the house. But I’m younger than people who graduated AFTER me. It’s crazy.
I used to console myself about being younger than everybody, by telling them, “When you’re 30, I’ll still be 29!” LOL
Now, we’re pushing 50!
Al Hamdulillah!
So thankful to be here. Healthy and Happy!
With so much of my life ahead of me.
My children are growing up but I can still have another one, In sha Allah!
(If it Pleases Allah)
I can’t believe Makay-kay’s going to be 18!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
It seems like yesterday, Zawji was holding and kissing her in his arms…
While I was miserable wanting to hold and kiss her too
AND
Her mother was oblivious to what was going on
Preoccupied with my camera.
I wanted her to go nurse our baby.
I did it instead.
You know I’m a Jersey Cow!
I always have milk.
If anyone is having trouble producing milk,
Call me (213)378-6798.
I’ll just charge you Room & Board
And if you are not Black
Don’t waste my time.
Those days are over.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I’m thrilled because I didn’t hear the formerly sick Sister cough
ONE TIME
Last Night.
AL HAMDULILLAH!
If you have a dry cough/wet cough, whether it’s asthma, pneumonia, tuberculosis, yellow fever, leukemia, ANY COUGH, find some COLT’S FOOT. Click here if you missed the link yesterday.
You will have to take a walk or get out of the car, because it’s a weed and grows on the curb or in abandoned lots.
Now is a good time because it’s flu season and a lot of people have coughs. It also happens to be the time that it’s growing.
I would recommend not procrastinating because it’s growing in proportion to the rains and soon people are going to be mowing the lawns, so get it now.
Just heat up some water, put the LEAVES in the water. Let it seep for about three minutes and drink. You can sweeten it if you need to. I’ve never tasted it but sweetened it when I gave it to my son. The Sister yesterday drank it plain.
Zawji told me it worked before she even finished the remedy.
But I’m a Muslim Scientist and we have to have proof.
If anybody reprimands or belittles you for wanting proof of anything;
DON’T TRUST THEM.
Especially Christians.
There is nothing wrong with wanting proof.
Tell them to show you Jesus if he is still alive.
They’ll say he’s up in the sky “on the right-hand side of the Father”
Then tell them to show you the father.
LOL
I can show you my God.
Show me yours.
Same thing with the Farrakhaners and others who say
Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him)
Is still alive.
Tell them to show him to you.
I would LOVE it if the Messenger (PBUH) was still alive.
He taught until he was not able to teach anymore, so if he were still alive, he would still be teaching.
It makes me want to kill somebody almost when people try to tell me the Messenger (PBUH) is still alive.
It’s hard enough to accept that he is dead, then here you come trying to make me go through the pain of him dying again all over again!
Prove it.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So, I’m just going to cool out until I get my check, then I can start all over.
This has been the longest month of my life.
Literaturely.
I haven’t taken a shower or bath since I don’t know when.
But only some people smell me.
It’s like I can turn it on and off.
Not for real.
Zawji turns it on and off.
I told you I wasn’t taking one until I can take one with Zawji.
But, I’ma take one when I get my check.
Whichever comes first.
I was hoping someone would report me and I could take an emergency shower.
I hate waiting.
I hate begging.
And you have to do both to get a shower on Skid Row.
So
I’m just not gonna take one.
Ya’ll just gonna have to smell me.
Literaturely.
It’s good though because people I don’t like will leave.
Or just have to suffer.
Sorry. Not sorry.
You shouldn’t love devils so much.
I’m realizing that my biggest beef with Black People is their love of devils.
That’s what it really boils down to.
They don’t like me because I don’t like devils.
I don’t like them because they love devils.
But We Are Living In the Greatest Day Of Separation.
So
Cheah
No Skin Off My Nose.
You go with your people.
I will go with mine.
But don’t come looking for me,
When you realize that they are going to be destroyed.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I can’t wait to get my check.
I’m Audi 5000, G
NEW ORLEANS HERE I COME!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So thankful I haven’t had to “prostitute” myself for a safe night off the street.
That’s literaturely how it feels.
He tells me he doesn’t want sex but has a condom and a bottle of KY on the dresser by the bed.
I can’t.
I slept on the floor two nights.
If I go back it’s going to be the third night and someone once told me that three nights is all he allows a woman to stay over after that she’s gotta go.
I feel like that third night he’s going to try and force me to do something I didn’t do the first two nights.
It’s scary.
I’m vulnerable being in some man’s home.
And I like ’em BIG & SCARY!!!
LOL
Anything could happen.
I don’t want to give him the slightest enticement.
He tried to say I let him kiss me.
Pffffff
Not after Buster or Edgar.
It took me 35 years to realize no one can ever replace my Zawji
And I don’t hide my endless love for him.
The first thing they see when they see me is his picture.
I tell them, when they inevitably ask,
He’s my “Zawji”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, he’s my EVERYTHING. My husband. My Best Friend. My Daddy. My Brother. My Son. My Pooh Bear. My Soan Papdi. My Bay. My BOO. My Soulmate. My Nafis. MY ZAWJI!”
I don’t know what they want from me.
Sex.
Love.
Probably whatever they think I’ll give them, which is nothing.
I just use them for what I need.
They get to be seen with a beautiful lady.
Again. I’m not boasting. But I’m the one. Just ask me. It shall be done.
Don’t Bother To Compare.
I haven’t even seen Batman.
I guess he’s hiding out because everybody know he messed up a good thing.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Somebody actually called me the day before yesterday.
I started not to answer because it’s ALWAYS bad news.
But it was a 213 number and my phone was actually working. SMH
I answered and
Said, “Mm-hmm”
Nobody said anything.
So I said, “Yes” Like you’re really supposed to say when you answer the phone.
Muslims don’t say “Hello” when we answer the phone.
We don’t have time or patience for gossip. Just get to the reason why you called.
They still didn’t say anything. So I hung up.
They called back and I said “Yes”
Still no response.
When they called again I didn’t answer.
Yesterday, I called the number and it sounded like a Black girl, then Zawji switched matrices and it was an Asian lady.
I just hung up.
Why did they call again this morning?
I didn’t answer.
NOBODY ever calls me.
Me and my son use FB Messenger. Sometimes I use Gmail calling. But I never actually use the phone. Maybe for business.
Everybody knows not to call me. Because I don’t answer.
FB is your best bet. That is, if you’re not one of the 2000+ people I’ve blocked.
You can always leave a comment here too. No one will see it. I have to approve all comments first.
What you tryna hide anyway? 😉
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I cannot WAIT to go back to the Jazz Playhouse
I need a fix.
Literaturely.
I can’t remember the last time I had a hit of some LIVE JAZZ.
I think it was that “fundraiser” for the Candlelight with Mr. Henry with the smoky blue lights that I had to listen to outside because that mean lady who owns it doesn’t like me.
It was swingin’ tho!
Man! Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans???
I went to the Union and they took my bed ticket AGAIN! That’s four times in less than two weeks!
So. Our teacher and leader and guide, The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) Taught us that if someone doesn’t want you there, find somewhere else to go.
So, since they keep taking my bed ticket, I figured they really don’t want me there.
So, I tried to get in another shelter. But, they didn’t want me there either. So, I found a place outside, but I really didn’t want to sleep outside. So, I went back to the U, and got in.
I slept in a different place.
I’ve been in the chapel so far.
I like it because it’s a chapel and it made me feel close to ALLAH.
But Allah is everywhere I am. So, I was cool in the new place.
They threw me out this morning.
BUT
ALLAH HAS BLESSED
Me With a BEAUTIFUL SINGING VOICE.
SO
Whenever I’m out in the cold
OR
Somewhere Uncomfortable
I SING
AND
It makes me feel better.
It reminds me of our poor ancestors who used to sing to make themselves feel better.
NEGRO SPIRITUALS
AND
FREEDOM SONGS
“FOLLOW THE DRINKING GOURD”
was a code worded song slaves used to use to alert other slaves on how to successfully attain their FREEDOM.
“The Drinking Gourd” was the Big Dipper.
“The River” was the Mississippi.
I think “Dead Trees” means dead bodies. 😥 😥 😥
They used to sing them like Negro Spirituals.
Most people don’t listen to lyrics in songs.
So, we could deliver secret messages and the slavemasters and overseers would not be privy to what was going on right under their racist noses.
I remember my daughter used to make up songs and sing them when she couldn’t tell me how she felt.
I am not out in the cold. I am not out in the night. I have a roof over my head. I have a cot to sleep on. I know that Superman works in the day and Batman at night. I might possibly be having a baby. :o)
In Sha Allah, tomorrow I’m telling Thelma on these two guards that always sweat me. I wish they would just leave me alone. They let me stay here tonight. But I know they’re looking for the first opportunity to kick me out. So when Thelma gets here I’m TELLING! I already wrote her a note. But I think I’m going to just tell her what happened.
They probably lied and put something in the computer so if she looks it up, it’ll have some little lie in it. But I’m just going to tell the TRUTH and hope they will leave me alone.
I think it’s because I’m a Muslim.
I mean HE could be upset because I’m in love with Zawji, SHE could be upset for the same reason if she thinks I’m her mother. That’s it. They want to be a family. LOL Never gonna happen. Especially with the way they keep treating me.
“Nothing you can do, cause I’m stuck like glue to MY GUY.”
One Day EVERYONE WILL KNOW that I WILL DIE without entertaining another man.
Amad-Jamal Allah, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever is the ONLY man for me.
They don’t understand TRUE LOVE. It’s FOREVER!!!
SEPARATION doesn’t cause it to die. It makes it stronger.
TEMPTATION doesn’t make you say bye. It makes you more appreciative.
PRIVATION only tightens the tie. It makes you more dependent on each other.
Everybody thinks “There are ‘TOO MANY FISH IN THE SEA’ for me to have to deal with things I don’t like about the person I’m with.”
That is definitely the wrong attitude to have if you expect to have a successful relationship. Someone tried to give me that BAD ADVICE about Zawji, but what he didn’t understand is that ALLAH Told Me Zawji is the ONLY MAN FOR ME.
In this song, the Sister was dumped. I can’t really relate because I’ve never been dumped. But cheah, if you get dumped then…
If you are thinking about leaving someone because you have problems, all you have to do is Pray and ask Allah to fix the problem. Stick with the person until the problem is worked out. Allah is the Second Coming of JESUS and HE Will Work It Out if you let HIM.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
The plan is to go to New Orleans when I get my check next. In sha Allah (If it is the Will of Allah), I’ll be able to leave that same day. I don’t want to be here any longer. I’ll have money for a hotel, so at least I won’t be in a shelter if I can’t get a same-day ticket. It’s so stressful here. They keep picking on me. Why? For HIS NAME SAKE.
The Bible warns us that the disbelievers and infidels would persecute you “for His Name’s Sake” My Name is ALLAH. It is not referring to the Christians who have the devil’s names. I have a Holy and Righteous Name of Allah.
Most Muslims go in the Name of Allah. All BLACK PEOPLE should go in the Names of Allah as HE is our Father. We should wear One Of His Names.
I need to look up the definition for consort. I think it means, your Best Friend who you make love to and the only one you make love to, like Zawji but with Zawji, it’s official.
In Ancient Kemet (Egypt), their Gods had “CONSORTS.” And, I was wondering why the translators used that word. BRB
I think when the Ancients used it, it only referred to the female companion of a GOD. Auset was Ausar’s consort, for example. I don’t think it would be appropriate to say He was her consort. The Blackman is God. The Blackwoman is His Helpmate or consort. 😉
The difference between men and women is that men think if they give you a child, you will be bonded together forever. They think, “You don’t need a ring to be my wife.” Women think differently. They will take YOUR CHILD(REN) and go marry another man who gives them a ring.
I’m so sorry for you Brothers who have suffered the pain that comes with learning this lesson. PRAY AND THE SECOND COMING OF JESUS WILL WORK IT OUT – IF YOU LET HIM.