Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
The Right Training
Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim
Bismillah
February 5, 2017
11:00 A.M.A.D. – Jamal
Al Hamdulillah!!!
I am in WACO, Texas.
I always heard them announce buses going here and was always glad I was never on one of those buses.
But here I am.
It has creeped me out ever since David Koresh and his cult madness.
You know all I remember is that some people got shot up.
Let me G it. BRB
Okay wait.
We’re riding through the city and it is a deserted Sunday morning
Hella creepy.
Looks like white trash central.
The city is bigger than I imagined.
It reminds me of Needles, California
Where all of the residents looked like the products of incest.
Texas has a symbol too.
Like New Orleans/Louisiana has the Fleur de Lis.
Texas’ symbol is the five-pointed star.
Like the Cowboys or The Lone Star State.
I’m surprised I never realized it before.
But I saw this guy with a baseball hat on and it just had a star on it.
I thought that was cool.
Everybody knows it’s for Dallas.
But I’m taking the scenic route on this trip and have spent two days in TX
And there are stars everywhere.
But it’s also brown everywhere
Where it’s supposed to be green.
I’m like
“Why don’t you water the grass?”
L.A. has an excuse
Maybe they’re going through a drought too.
Either way
I don’t like it.
It’s ugly.
Maybe it’s because it’s Winter
Because A LOT, I would go so far as to say MOST
Of the Trees are Brown too.
There are a lot of cattle eating this brown grass tho.
If this is what Winter in Texas looks like,
You can have it.
I’ll take Manhattan.
*****
I think I might go to jail when I get to New Orleans.
I don’t have any money and I need to eat.
I don’t really want to go to the hospital
BECAUSE
They know me.
They know me in jail too
BUT
I haven’t been in a while.
I got kicked out of jail in Nevada.
Craziest thing I ever heard.
They said they were giving me a “Kick-Out.”
LOL
Have you ever heard of anybody getting KICKED OUT of JAIL???
Only me.
I don’t know WHAT I’m going to do when I get to New Orleans.
I mean,
My Faith is in Allah and Zawji
They always surprise me with something great
BUT
I always have to suffer a little first.
This anxiety is suffering.
Not knowing what to expect.
The worst part is being cold.
I can steal to alleviate hunger
AND
I can handle being dirty (although I detest it)
BUT
Being cold is the worst.
It got so cold last time I was here I couldn’t believe it.
And L.A. was like 80 degrees.
Worst thing was the rain.
I would even take rain over cold.
Clothes dry fast when you’re wearing them.
I’m at the point of even humbling myself to the point of trying to take advantage of their homeless resources.
I think about what happened last time (when they turned me away for no reason other than I’m a Muslim) and I STILL want to try it.
SMH
Looks like I might have to take off my garment too.
I mean and put on other clothes so I can wash it.
I was hoping maybe to wash it when I get this hotel but unless they have automatic dryers, it’s not going to be dry by checkout time.
I would go to some fast food place and use their automatic dryers but I don’t have anything else to put on and I am not about to stand there in my underwear…
I know where to go for services but that’s about it.
I don’t know the procedures except that they make you wait like all homeless resources.
I’m officially in the south.
The sky just got ten times more beautiful!
The clouds are on overdrive racing across the sky.
Two layers of clouds and the beautiful Sun high above.
Hawks everywhere and almost just as high.
I hope I can find the Moors this time.
I always find the Hebrews but it’s like the Moors hide from me.
They know I just want to mess with them.
LOL
When I found the Hebrews in L.A.
It was so funny.
We were outside West Angeles
And one of them got so mad he ripped up my flier.
I was like
Oh No he didn’t.
He was that mad at me.
But what could I do?
I couldn’t put it back together.
I mean, I could but I had a ton more and really?
I was not about to get into a fight with no full-grown man.
Been there. Done that.
Besides, I know he was just mad and that’s victory in itself.
Why you mad tho?
LOL
I got to go in and see my old Pastor
Who is now a Bishop.
I pretended like I was deaf so I could sit in the front row.
I was trying to get as close to him as possible.
I wanted to kill him for lying to me as a little girl.
But he looked like he has one foot in the grave already
SMH
I mean he could barely stand up.
LOL
I remember when he used to run across the stage and kick his leg up.
I know his audience has been there awhile too
BECAUSE
There were parts of his sermon that everybody would recite with him
In Unison!
All I could do was shake my head.
I mean,
I saw Whitney reference preachers reciting their scripts word for word in Preacher’s Wife
BUT
I didn’t know anyone who did it.
Or at least,
I didn’t know I knew anyone who did it.
Anyway,
I’m glad he’s almost dead.
I know he’s a Mason.
I interviewed him in the nineties
When I was on my spiritual quest.
I know he only granted me the interview because my father used to be his deacon and his wife was my first grade teacher
BUT
Going back to his church was like the chickens coming home to roost.
I was so pissed.
His security guard practically felt me up ostensibly trying to get me up out of there.
I felt so dirty.
Christians.
But I’m satisfied knowing he’s so close to death.
All Praise Is Due To Allah For The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)
Everything in Texas is big.
I remember my daughter telling me that when she came out here to visit a friend.
And it’s true.
It’s like someone hit the zoom in this matrix.
And these southern devils are so ANNOYING!
Everytime I hear one, it takes me right back to pre-1865
AND
I
JUST
WANNA
SCREAM!
The Black people sound cute.
It’s almost unbelievable that they actually talk like that.
In New Orleans, the Black People have completely different accents than the devils.
AND
The devils know it too
Because they try to say “Baby” like the Black people.
AND
I’m like
STOP.
😀 😀 😀 😀 😀
12:00 p.m.
I’m so upset, well kinda because I’m not going to be in L.A. for PAFF (Pan-African Film and Arts Festival)
Oh well.
Next year,
In Sha Allah!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
1:55 p.m.
February 3, 2017
8:44 A.M.A.D. – Jamal
Al Hamdulillah!!!
All Praises Are Due To Allah, Master Fard Muhammad,
To Whom Be Praised FOREVER!!!
As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved And Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!
I feel like I’m in New Orleans already!
You know what?
I used to say “Nawlins” because I thought that’s how people from New Orleans say it.
I was at the Women’s (Or rather Bull-dyke and Trannies ) Center yesterday and these Sisters were reading my bag and one of them said, “Nawlins” like I used to. Apparently I wasn’t the only one who thought they say that.
I think New Orleanians got tired of people mocking them and started saying New Orleans, or New Or-le-ins, or New Orlins, but I have NEVER heard anyone say “Nawlins” I’ve heard “Rawlins” 😛 but never “Nawlins” 😉
I got my ticket and I’m sitting here thinking about Zawji, listening to Musiq Soulchild and it made me feel like writing.
https://embed.tidal.com/tidal-embed.js
It’s so strange but the Holy Qur’an says, “We plan and Allah Plans. Surely, Allah is the BEST OF PLANNERS.”
It is so true.
I had this schedule of all the things I wanted to do today,
BUT
When I woke up this morning, nothing went according to MY plan.
But everything Went according to ALLAH’S PLAN.
And, I must admit
I love HIS Plan.
I just wish He Would Tell Me BEFOREHAND.
I mean
Surprises are nice
BUT
He ALWAYS makes me sad first
Or mad
Or stressed.
I met this guy named Mr. Wright in the nineties,
On one of my adventures.
We were at Cal State Long Beach at nighttime for some reason,
And we were having a good time.
He must’ve been Zawji’s Doppel because he danced the whole night.
I didn’t know anything about Doppels back then.
BUT
I
REALLY
LIKED
HIM
.
I mean, his NAME was Mr. Wright (Right).
I told him I should call my mom and tell her I met Mr. Right. LOL
He ended up calling HIS mom and letting me talk to her.
That was flattering.
Guess I was wifey material.
Anyway, he was talking about how Christmas is so awesome because it’s a surprise. I wish I could remember exactly what he said because I agreed. Although, Christmas as a practice is evil as Hell. But I think about how I felt when he told me something like, you have to go through some pain or patience, before you get to the good reward.
I think that is just in this world.
In the Hereafter, In Sha Allah, it won’t be like this.
We Can Just Get Straight To The Good Part.
And Live Happily Ever After.
With no bad parts.
That’s what I’m expecting.
In this world, we think there has to be some type of antagonism.
But Islam is not that.
It’s ALL GOOD.
I started not to post this because they don’t have on shirts
AND
MC Hammer was NOT an MC.
He couldn’t rap for nothing.
Although I did like one line he said.
But he could dance his behind off.
I remember in the nineties I had one of the best days of my life.
Boys 2 Men, Jodeci and MC Hammer were having a show at The Forum.
So, me and my cousins went to see Boyz 2 Men at some press thingie they had earlier in the day, at the Hard Rock in the Beverly Center. I had a camera and used up the whole roll.
Who knew we would be face to face with Jodeci later?
The radio station had announced they were having some secret location joint, but I guess Allah Told me where it was going to be because we went and there they were.
That was when I almost got in the limo with Dalvin. LOL
It reminds me of that video with Aretha Franklin “A Rose is Still A Rose” where the Sister left her friends to roll off with Tip.
I didn’t go though.
I looked at my friends.
Then I looked at him sitting there.

AND
I Was In The Limo Door Halfway In…
He Was Fine As Hell
BUT
I just felt like a hoe.
There are more important things in life than
GOOD LOOKS
AND
MONEY
AND
FAME
AND
LIMOS
LOL
I haven’t seen this video in a few years and it reminds me so much of myself.
I am so thankful for Allah and Islam.
Otherwise, I would still be out there trying to replace Zawji.
Promiscuous and ending up used up;
Crying
AND
Heartbroken.
Al Hamdulillah!
Sisters, don’t give a man your most valuable possession until after he’s proven he deserves it by marrying you first.
Even still, some men will just marry you to get it or for reasons other than love.
PRAY
And Ask Allah
If he is your Zawji.
And LISTEN
Even if you don’t like the answer.
I just told you
He hurts you sometimes first.
Then surprises you with something better than you could have ever dreamed!!!
ALLAHU AKBAR!!!
ALLAH IS THE GREATEST!!!!!!!!
So, I’m sitting in the bus station bawling.
I don’t even try anymore.
To hide my tears.
They’re just going to have to see my crying.
I just don’t look to see if anybody is watching
AND
Let them flow.
So, when we saw Jodeci, K-Ci walked right in front of us singing TLC’s “Baby, Baby, Baby” right along with the music they were playing –
I thought that was kinda cool.
He’s singing somebody else’s song. And a girl group!
So anyway,
Here he was RIGHT IN FRONT OF US
Like he was TRYING to get our attention,
And I really regretted wasting all my film on Boyz 2 Men who were a little distance away on stage.
I could’ve taken a picture WITH him.
Oh yeah,
After the Boyz 2 Men press conference
Why did we follow them when they got in the car? LOL
They drove for a little while, then I guess they realized we were following them, so they pulled into this empty parking lot and we followed them right on in.
Then they stopped and their bodyguard got out the car and came up to my window and told me to stop following them, real mean like.
LOL
So, we went to the Jodeci thingie.
Then we got into a car accident but nobody was hurt.
I think one of my cousins got paid.
But I didn’t want to go to therapy.
So I didn’t get any money.
BUT
Anyway
We went on to the forum and saw both groups and MC Hammer.
I had seen Boyz 2 Men before
But that’s another story… 😛
I used to really like them.
I had this cassette tape of the “Motownphilly” single
And it had “snippets” LOL
Of songs from the whole album.
I used to wear that thing OUT!
I even made a plaid shorts outfit with a matching tie like they used to wear.
LOL
First outfit I ever made myself!
I used to wear it with a long-sleeved, button-down denim
And you couldn’t tell me nothing.
BACK THEN.
I thought I was so cute.
You could tell me a lot now.
Like how women shouldn’t wear anything masculine –
Like button down shirts
AND
Definitely not TIES!
BUT
We Should Try To Be As Feminine As Possible!
In skirts and dresses and delicate jewelry,
Ribbons and bows and pink stuff.
Allahu Akbar
For The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (Peace Be Upon Him)
And The M.G.T. & G.C.C!
BUT
Anyway
Hammer put on a bomb show.
He can’t rap but he can entertain so I’m not that mad.
I have higher standards now.
You can’t distract me with music and dancing.
I listen for vocal ability.
BUT
Remember that dancer with the triangle haircut? LOL
Let me find that Addams family video.
We used to wear that video into the ground on the strength of his dancing.
At the show he was up on a riser by himself and I didn’t even see Hammer because I was too busy watching him.
We were far away which was unusual for me, but still had a great time.
I’m trying to remember if TLC was on the lineup too.
I don’t pay any attention to the females. LOL
This was before I started doing my show.
But, we used to have so much fun.
I had so much fun in my twenties that if I never have fun another day in my life
I’m Gucci.
Okay, that Addams family video takes too long if there is a good part.
This one is better.
So, I guess he knew he wasn’t an emcee because he dropped that part of his name and just started going by Hammer.
Good lookin’, Kid.
So, I guess I’m just gonna chill until it’s time for my bus to ship out.
This time I’m going to The French Quarter instead of the regular Greyhound station.
Should make for an interesting trip.
I was able to book a room at the Guest House.
It cost more than I was expecting, but Zawji told me not to be niggardly. So, I went ahead and booked it.
It feels good knowing I’ll have a place to stay and freshen up and thank Allah for my safe arrival.
It always rains when I leave or arrive in L.A.
I think I make her emotional.
One time when I arrived, she was raining. I was sad expecting sunny skies, but I think she was happy for me to come home.
Now she’s crying because I’m leaving.
I kinda wanted to go to the beach one more time before I left but Zawji wants me to leave wanting more.
I heard that’s the mark of a good performer. Leave your audience wanting more.
I used to think that was unfair.
I want to leave them satiated.
But Zawji is the God, so I have to go along with Him, if I’m wise.
If I went to the beach yesterday or today, I wouldn’t be in a big hurry to come back.
AND
I have NO IDEA how long I’m gonna be in the New
BUT
Anything that makes it easier to leave is welcome.
I NEVER want to leave New Orleans.
I have a pass for the Jazz Festival waiting for me, so
In Sha Allah
I’ll be there for that.
It would be nice to see The Roots again.
And they’re performing with Ursher. LOL
I like him now.
Even though I hate that “do your thing, girl” song he has telling his girl he doesn’t care if she’s a stripper. What kinda mess is that?
These young folks need some boundaries.
He has another song with some rapper, I forgot his name, Future or somebody, but I thought he was a girl when I saw the video. I don’t like that song either.
Let me think.
…
It’s “No Limit” with Young Thug.
In sha Allah, he’ll reign it in before he gets too far gone.
I couldn’t even watch the video, I was so grossed out when he turned around and I saw he was a man.
Ewwww!!!!!
I hate that.
It happens in real life and never ceases to creep me out.
Men cut your hair.
Long hair and mustaches is the grossest thing in the world.
And Sisters DON’T CUT YOUR HAIR.
You gross me out.
There is nothing creepier than not knowing if a person is male or female.
EWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or thinking they’re female and then seeing he’s a male or vice versa.
America deserves everything coming to her for such abominations.
Our poor children are growing up confused.
I remember this little baby girl asked my son if he was a boy.
Her mother was a bulldyke and had her around all these freaks.
I wanted to cry for that poor baby.
😥 😥 😥 😥 😥
So back to the JazzFest…
I’m kinda sad about the Roots.
I liked when it was just Tariq, Ahmir, Hub and the guy on keys. Let me G him. BRB
Oh yeah, I remember – Kamal.
They all have Muslim names. Probably Hub too, although I don’t know his real name.
I wonder why he left the group.
He did seem to be A LOT older than the rest of them.
I hope he’s not sick or nothing.
I also hope it wasn’t creative differences.
Although, I wouldn’t be surprised.
They have changed a lot since they used to be at the House of Blues every month.
They have horns now, which, surfacely, looks like a good thing.
Christian McBride told me he used to play bass with them in High School.
I guess before they got Hub.
I miss him and his licorice stick.
I hope he’s okay.
Anyway, they’re like the O/G Hip-Hop band.
Now, it seems more emcees are incorporating live bands into their shows.
I love acoustic.
Drum machines have no soul.
It’s not the same.
Pushing buttons… LIVE?
I play drums a little and there’s no feeling in the world like hitting the drum or a cymbal.
It communicates your emotion through sound.
Using a drum machine instead of drums is like pushing a button on the side of your steering wheel for your horn instead of the big thingie in the middle.
You can’t BANG down on it!!!
Or like pushing a button to hang up the phone as opposed to slamming the receiver down.
You can’t put your HEART into it.
I like acoustic pianos better than electric.
You can put feeling into an acoustic piano depending on how you play it.
With electric pianos all the notes sound the same.
I was talking with this musician about combination acoustic/electric pianos like they have guitars.
I would like the pre-recorded beats and ability to record like they have on electric pianos but with the option to play acoustic to get that wonderful sound and feeling.
Let me G it. BRB
Okay, they’re called “Hybrid Pianos“
AND
I’ve seen them before
I just didn’t know what they were.
Hakim took a piano class and that was they type of pianos they had.
They looked really cool.
Like electric keyboards with the body of a little upright.
They sound pretty good.
But a real acoustic is better.
I have given up on playing the piano at the U.
At least for now. 😉
They made me feel like Biz.
Making me beg to get on the piano and play that day.
I know they just want me to play and sing to some spook that doesn’t exist and his fake son,
BUT
I would rather not play than do that.
People think music is the most important thing in the world.
BUT
It’s not.
There are a lot more important things,
Like Allah and Family Love.
Then comes music.
They keep hoping I’ll sell out.
BUT
Allah ALWAYS SAVES ME.
It’s so funny.
People talk about salvation all the time
AND
I ask them
Salvation from WHAT?
They never know or they’ll say salvation from sin.
And, I don’t even have to say anything because they know that to be saved from sin all you have to do is stop sinning. LOL
Oh My Goodness!
I was just looking for a better picture of Dalvin.
I wanted one closer to the image I have in my mind of him sitting in the limo.
Before, when I G’d it, him and T-Boz came up but I didn’t know they got Married!
She always marries guys I like. LOL
Mack Dime and Dalvin.
Pepa too.
I wonder if they’re my doppels.
Okay, I just saw, they didn’t get married.
The picture I saw is from Jodeci’s “Love you for life” video.
I saw so many things wrong with that wedding.
First, the argument before they even get married.
I feel like if you’re arguing, you don’t need to get married.
You can disagree and say it can’t be done
BUT
Me and Zawji have never had an argument and we’ve been in love since 1979.
11:00 A.M.A.D. – Jamal
Okay, we’re into the P.M.
AND
My Departure Time is Nearing.
I’m starting to feel some kinda way.
I think I’m actually going to miss Skid Row.
There’s something about the familiarity.
The every day sameness.
The recognition of faces that I used to know after I’ve seen them ten times.
LOL
Oh, THAT’s So and So!
That’s kinda fun.
I’m starting to miss the beach already.
I remember the first time I came to New Orleans.
I went to sleep one night thinking I would go to the beach the next day.
Then I remembered I was in New Orleans.
I almost had a heart attack.
I’m going to miss the mountains too.
That was hard getting used to.
When you grow up in L.A.,
You kinda take it for granted that they’re always there
In the background.
That took a while to admit.
They’re no mountains in New Orleans.
There are not even any hills.
I’m still coming to grips with that.
In Sha Allah, I’ll be too preoccupied with the music to miss them.
SO
I’ve decided not to post this until my bus has left.
I don’t want anybody to know where I am.
I mean.
I don’t fear America
BUT
I’m not stupid either.
3:52 p.m.
I just saw the cutest little bad Black boy.
He was absolutely adorable.
I was just watching him.
First he went in between the vending machines.
LOL
Then he climbed onto the shelves.
THEN
He started hitting this old white lady.
I was cracking up.
She was like,
“Dont…. hit… me!”
Then he hit her again.
LOL
Then she raised her hand and said,
“Don’t… hit… me!”
He put his little purple balloon animal in his mouth and hit her again.
Then she started looking around for security!
ROFL
He has to be about three…
Oh, he just took this blind lady’s walking cane.
LOL
Man, gotta love Black boys…
He is outta control.
Mom is young and talking on her cell phone.
I would reprimand him, but he’s just so cute.
So much
ENERGY!!!
He is all over the place.
Okay, Mom is off the phone, walking him around.
Looks like she might be taking him to get a snack.
Gotta luh da kids…
5:07 p.m.
I’m sitting next to my son, Hakim’s, doppel.
I guess he had to see me or let me see him before I left.
😀
5:28 p.m.
Uh-oh, Bad Little Black Boy lost his mom.
He’s running around crying.
I got him.
Mommy heard him crying.
Reunited.
5:37 p.m.
Uh-oh
Bad little Black Boy’s lost again.
I got him.
Somebody gave him a dollar and he’s talking about buying some cookies.
He told me his name’s Michael and he’s TWO!!!
I told Mommy, this can be a dangerous place for children.
Someone might snatch him up.
She said, He Keeps Running Off.
SO
I told him,
“You don’t go anywhere you can’t see Mommy!”
Okay!
😀
5:45 p.m.
I saw Acey downtown when I first got back to L.A.
He was standing outside this cafe/bar
And said,
“Girl, lemme get in that coat with you!”
Not even, “Hey Cheryce, how you been?”
Just came at me like I was some hooker.
So disrespectful.
I acted like I didn’t know him and kept on walking.
I used to have a big crush on him back in the day.
He didn’t have time for me then.
I used to see him when we took our children to the Drum Workshop.
He started liking me then.
When Islam started making me beautiful.
I said, “As-Salaam-Alaikum”
And he acted like he didn’t know what to say.
And he started his “theme music” with the same words.
I hate when people try to commercialize off of Islam.
Allah Will Pay Them Back Their Mockery.
Time Makes All Things Manifest.
He had a show with Zawji back in 2007.
Zawji wanted me to come
BUT
That was when I had to be in the house before Sunset and I didn’t go anywhere without Hakim, who was four at the time.
I stopped liking Acey and all other men when Allah Revealed Zawji as my Zawji.
I’m so glad I didn’t hook up with him EVER.
I don’t know what he wants from me.
Whatever it is,
I can’t give it.
That ship has sailed.
I wish I could do the sign.
Let me see if I can make a video.
I’m so technologically ahead of technology.
ALWAYS.
I always have things I imagine that they haven’t come up with yet.
At least not on my hardware.
I want to make a live video on my blog
OR
Record video on my laptop.
My iphone only works when she wants to.
Maybe I can find it online.
Nope.
And I can’t remember where I learned it.
Oh well.
It feels weird though.
At first it felt good.
Knowing someone I used to like wants me now.
But now it’s kinda annoying because he won’t leave me alone.
A lot of Brothers look at me as a challenge.
No one has been successful in stealing my heart.
They don’t understand
BUT they will.
I haven’t seen Batman in weeks.
I deliberately went where he usually opens his store yesterday
And he was nowhere to be found.
This was his Doppel’s second time.
He took what he learned the first time and came back stronger.
But I’m stronger too.
Stronger than him.
He didn’t even get to first base this time.
Struck out in two swings.
LOL
This is a different ball game.
6:27 p.m.
So, why did I go to the store to get some A.J. and some mixed fresh fruit and my ATM Debit card was handed back to me?
I was like, “Whuh?“
Went to check my balance and found out that they changed my check amount to the New Orleans rate.
So, I’m going to New Orleans flat broke!
But I’m going!!!
Allahu Akbar!!!
As soon as I come back to L.A., they change my check.
Figures.
But I guess since I’m getting New Orleans rate, I might as well live in New Orleans.
Right?
I don’t know what I’m going to do about my dentist appointment.
I was kind of reluctant to go in the first place
Considering it was a dentist who messed my teeth up in the first place!
8:25 p.m.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I just got to play with the sweetest little girls.
Kimora about 2 and Brooklyn about one.
Kimora is so smart. All she wanted to do was listen to the ABC song on my laptop
And Brooklyn was singing right along.
These generation whatever Moms are just too much.
Always on the phone…
But their babies know how to get their attention!
I got to play Mary Poppins and teach letters and numbers to two beautiful Black Baby girls, so Mommy could talk to her friends on the phone.
I wish I could have taken the phone with me when I was younger!
We had to get off if we had to leave.
‘Member that?
LOL
Allahu Akbar!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Okay, my bus is leaving in about an hour and I’m starting to feel separation anxiety at the thought of being so far away from Zawji.
But he can come to New Orleans anytime he wants.
SO
There’s no need to trip.
He could be anywhere in the world.
Coming to New Orleans is nothing.
It’s part of the continental United States.
I’m taking a bus!
I could probably walk if I really wanted to.
Forrest Gump it.
If he can run I can walk.
I’m in no hurry.
Somebody told me where to go to hitch a ride with truckers too.
So, if I know how to get somewhere
I KNOW HE KNOWS
Being the God of the Universe.
And I did what he brought me out here to do.
– Get his phone number.
So, I can call or text him anytime I need to.
That is, when my iphone is working…
All I wanna say is, “I’m sorry.”
But I want to say it to his face.
Something gets lost in e-mails, texts, IMs and telephone calls.
I’m so sad.
It’s emotional
Leaving.
I don’t think I’m gonna cry though.
At least not about leaving.
I’m just glad I’m not at that shelter.
The chaplain started coming in at night
Calling himself praying for us.
I would suddenly have an uncontrollable coughing fit
That would only last the duration of his prayer
And then miraculously disappear.
It’s a miracle!
LOL
SMH
Christians.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
February 4, 2017
5:35 A.M.A.D. – Jamal

February 2, 2017
12:35 p.m.
Al Hamdulillah!
I think the formerly sick Sister is gonna need another dose.
I had the sinking feeling she might when I gave her the first one.
She was coughing a little bit again this morning.
But I didn’t see any Colt’s Foot on my morning adventure.
I saw a gang of Rosemary though.
The blossoms really caught my attention.
I see Rosemary all throughout the year but seeing all those little blue flowers was a special treat.
I was shocked to see the honeybees drinking their nectar.
BUT
Why Not? 🙂
I was even more surprised to see a rustling in the bushes and these beautiful little yellow birds flew out and into the trees.
They were amazing.
I had never seen any birds like that before.
They reminded me of pajaritos pero amarillos y pequeños como humming birds.
Sorry, sometimes I feel like speaking in other languages.
Just copy and paste it into Google Translate.
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So, I don’t know about the Sick Sister.
I really hadn’t planned to go get the Colt’s Foot the first time.
But I told myself the night before, if I happened to be in the area I would get her the ALOE VERA. And I was so I did.
Not so today.
Allah Told Me To Keep The FIRST BATCH, and I disobeyed.
Astaghfirullah! Astaghfirullah! Astaghfirullah!
(That means “Allah Please Forgive Me” in Arabic)
In Sha Allah, it was just a little leftover cough and will go away.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So, I ended up getting on the bus to Century City this morning on my way to the Library and Century City is nice so I was thinking about staying on.
But the last time I went out there it was kinda boring, so I was going to get off and go to the Library anyway, but Zawji told me to stay on. So I did.
It was a different route than the last time I went so I wasn’t so averse.
However, we passed this area that I knew to be the “Grove.”
(I still think “The “Grove” of Anaheim” whenever I hear The Grove. 🙂 )
So, since I have never been and my son goes there all the time, Zawji told me to get off and check it out.
So I did.
When I was in fifth and sixth grade, we used to go on field trips every Friday, if you got good grades during the week, and one of the places they used to take us was The Farmer’s Market where The Grove is attached to now.
So, since I’ve only been there one time since then, it felt really good going back.
It’s been there since 1934 and hasn’t really changed.
I always liked the sign that reads, “Meet me at 3rd and Fairfax.“
I used to see that when Hakim and I used to go to Whole Foods across the street, but I never went.
My son told me a few weeks ago that he saw Common there, so I thought maybe I would see someone famous too.
So, the first thing I see when I really hit the Market is this restaurant specializing in Gumbo. It was sooooo New Orleans. They even served alligator. SMH
So anyway, the chef had just finished mixing up the Creole Seasonings and I asked him what was in it. I thought Paprika since it was so red, but he said it was Cayenne. He had some fish on the grill and I asked what kind it was although I should have known it was catfish.
So, then I’m walking along and I see this big purple, gold and green sign with a saxophone and other mardis gras designs announcing the line-up they’re going to be having for Mardis Gras week.
Okay, so now I’m thinking, Okay, this is a little strange. I mean I haven’t seen anything about Mardi Gras ANYWHERE in L.A. until now. And this is the second New Orleans thing I’ve seen and I’ve only been here two minutes.
So, then I come around the corner and there’s this restaurant called “Cafe Marmalade” and I’m like OKAY! I get it! New Orleans! Dang!
If you don’t get the connection, Patti LaBelle has a song about New Orleans where she talks about “Creole Lady Marmalade.” I cannot think of the title but I think it’s because it’s a filthy song and Zawji doesn’t want me to.
Anyway.
I notice there are some tracks on the ground and I asked the security guard if they were still operable. He said, Yes, it should be running later.
I’m thinking like one of those little open train thingies for kids.
So, I keep walking and I notice the logo for the Grove is almost identical to New Orleans’ symbol – The Fleur de lis – like the Saints. But it has five leaves instead of three.
And it is so crazy because I saw the exact same symbol last night on my walk home and I studied it for a while, just in case I wanted to recreate it.
But the Grove symbol doesn’t have the tails.

It looked more similar there up on the wall.
But you can still see the similarities.
So, anyway, no sooner had I seen the logo, then I see the “train.”
By now, nothing surprises me anymore.
So, when I saw a double-decker streetcar, I was like, “It figures.”

It’s almost as if they deliberately designed it to look like the New Orleans’ St. Charles Streetcar

So, we got the two restaurants, the Mardi Gras sign, the Grove logo and the streetcar (they call it a “trolley”)…
All screaming New Orleans.
Not to mention I had a long conversation with a Sister at the Marmalade restaurant all about New Orleans.
I’m ready to go. Zawji gets me mentally and physically prepared before I make a run. He Wants To Make Sure I Really Go. You know how I am. Unpredictable. In Sha Allah, I can get a ticket that leaves sooner rather than later. I don’t want to miss my appointment but I’m going regardless.
I gotta go say bye to Zawji and then I’ll be ready to head out.
I didn’t see my son the whole time I’ve been in L.A.
Apparently downtown is too far to ride his bike, but he can ride to the Grove.
That’s aight tho.
He gon’ be calling me next time I post some jewelry on FB. 😉
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I hope this New Orleans dentist doesn’t try and put gold fronts on my teeth.
It’s cute on other people but I’m too conservative for something like that.
I thought about it and decided it’s not for me.
Zawji has perfect white teeth, what I look like – his wife – with gold fronts?
Nah Bebeh.
I ain’t the one.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I hope nobody stole Lulu.
I’m thinking about riding her this weekend while I take care of my business.
It’s almost like I buy bikes for somebody else.
I’m on my third bike in about as many months.
AND
It’s funny because I met a man who was telling me that he had had the same bike for six years.
At the time, I was like, “And?“
I had just gotten my bike and didn’t realize what a hot commodity they are.
Especially the type of bikes I get.
Sometimes, I park and sit and watch all the passers-by eyeing her hungrily.
I see them checking out the apparatus I have her tied up to, trying to figure out if they can free her.
I can’t help it, I just attract attention, so I have to have a bike that suits my personality. So, inevitably, she attracts attention too.
It’s just, I feel so violated when they steal her.
Once, they couldn’t steal her, so they stole the seat.
I was like, Seriously?
But, I’m from Compton, we ride bikes without a seat. LOL
I’d never seen anyone do that in New Orleans until I did it. LOL
Gotta keep it crackin’!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
1:55 p.m.
PLEASE CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER BELOW

PLEASE CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER BELOW
February 1, 2017
10:33 A.M.A.D.-Jamal
Today is the first day of “African-American Heritage Month” as they now call it.
A. One month does not even come close to the amount of time time it takes to get a thorough Knowledge of Black History.
Maybe African-American Heritage…
B. They should have kept the name Black History Month. By changing it to African-American, it does not include our history BEFORE we were forced to come to America in chains.
This is one of the biggest problems when it comes to the study of Black History in America.
They treat us as if we had no history before America.
This is laughable.
We have no birth record.
There was no one there to record it because we are the first.
This may be a little deep for some of you, but it is the TRUTH.
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I woke up at The Union Rescue Mission, then went to The Downtown Women’s Center and did not hear one mention of Black History month all morning.
SMH
And both places are 99 per cent Black.
Not from the staff, nor from the participants.
They make sure you know about Valentine’s Day though.
(At least at the U)
I didn’t find out it was Black History month until I got to the library and a book on the shelf caught my attention.
Then I noticed ALL the books on the shelf caught my attention.
Then I thought, “It must be Black History Month “
Then I looked up at the top of the shelf and it read, “African-American Heritage Month”
I had already noticed that none of the books were about Africa or Arabia or Islam or Ancient Nubia, or Kemet (Egypt) or any of our history PRIOR to our enslavement in the Hells of North America.
So
When I noticed that they had changed Black History Month to African-American Heritage Month, it made sense.
African-American Heritage only starts with slavery.
It is a shame how they blind us to the Knowledge of Self.
Our History Did Not Begin In America.
They want us to think that because it keeps us a slave.
If you knew that they (the devil Caucasian slave-masters) came from us, you would not allow them to treat you the way they do.
Their history could be taught in one month (28 days SMH) as it is only 6000 years old, while our history is over 76 TRILLION years old.
But they will NEVER EVER EVER teach us the truth of themselves, nor us, nor our God, Who Brought This Knowledge to us, HIMSELF!!!
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Black History should be taught 27 LOL. (24/7/365)
The main thing you need to know is that we are the first.
Someone once asked me, what’s the big deal about being the first and someone told me this morning something like, if you’re the first, others will come after you and be better than you were.
Well, since we are the first, that means everyone else came from us and the copy is NEVER as good as the original.
Even now, with digital copies, I still wouldn’t trust it as I would trust the original because it could have been edited.
The original is HOLY. Holy is something that has not been diluted, mixed or tampered with in any form.
Many of us have been diluted, mixed and tampered with but Black is dominant. So, if you are Black you are Holy.
The other races were GRAFTED from us.
They cannot ever be as good as the original HOLY BLACK NATION.
Next, the thing about the Black Nation is that although we are the first, we continuously grow and take on changes so that we never decay and die. The other races may be newer, but everything they know they learned from us.
We make the changes that keep the world spinning, so just because they may be newer, does not mean they are better.
They do not have the wisdom we have. We taught them what they know and we did not teach them everything, so they will never surpass us in wisdom.
It is a Great and Dreadful Day of the Lord we are living in.
Great for us – The Righteous Black Nation
Dreadful for those who oppose and offend us.
الحمد لله
Al Hamdulillah!!!
All Praise Is Due To Allah!!!
What is the difference between “Heritage” and “History” anyway???
I like “History.”
“Heritage” to me sounds like “inherit” So that could be a good thing Let me G it BRB
Yeah, that’s basically what it means, but I’m a scholar and I like the sound of learning history.
“Heritage” seems like you’re dumbing it down.
I mean, “history” inherently includes “heritage.”
If it’s your history then it’s automatically your heritage, right?
Right.
They just don’t want it to sound like it’s educational.
They think we’re so stupid, we’ll be turned off if we think we’re actually learning something.
So, they say “heritage” to make it sound like it’s something more valuable than our illustrious history.
We have the greatest history than any other people in the Universe!
The Greatest Future Too!
In short, study BLACK HISTORY every day all day.
Teach your children and you will learn at the same time.
Check out documentaries on Black History instead of dramas, comedies and horror flicks.
Study Kemet (Ancient Egypt), Hieroglyphics (Sacred Signs) (I love languages, when you understand words, you understand language and since most things are communicated using language, it makes you more intelligent) Sciences (as we are the founders of the Sciences) Mathematics (we founded them too), Anthropology and Archaeology (especially prior to 6000 years ago when everybody on Earth was Black!) Foreign languages (especially our original language – Arabic), the histories of great Kings and Rulers (like Genghis Khan who was Muslim and conquered more territory than any other man in the history of the Earth) AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, THE KNOWLEDGE OF SELF THAT CAME FROM ALLAH (GOD) HIMSELF THAT CAN ONLY BE FOUND IN THIS BOOK
PLEASE CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER BELOW
Stop spending time in foolishness (T.V. AND FILTHY BOOKS, MOVIES, MUSIC AND MAGAZINES).
You could be increasing your intelligence.
It’s amazing, the t.v. was broke at the shelter yesterday and I did not hear not even an argument. It was peaceful the whole night and even this morning.
The formerly sick Sister thanked me for the remedy. I just said, “Al Hamdulillah, I’m thankful for you.”
It’s so nice when you’re successful.
No coughing, no fighting, no arguing, No T.V. JUST PEACE.
Originally, T.V.s were used to disseminate information to the masses. It was only with the advent of commercials that it began to dissolve into the medium of debauchery and foolishness we see today.
Imagine if television and radio were used primarily to educate, what type of society we would have.
This is why it’s good to have BOUNDARIES.
They should have kept advertisements to charitable donation announcements like you see on PBS. Commercials are used to push the boundaries – in a bad way.
Most shocking things you see on T.V. began with commercials.
Once it’s on T.V., it’s there and everybody can do it now.
You cannot control what comes on your T.V.
You can control whether to watch it or not.
I used to hate limits.
But I guess there’s a difference between limits and boundaries.
Limit means YOU CANNOT go any further.
BOUNDARIES means you shouldn’t go any further.
Boundaries are good. They are for your protection.
They keep you from going too far.
They also keep others from coming too close.
So yeah, I guess I still hate limits.
It means someone can’t accommodate me.
I hate that.
I always come up with some new way of doing things and change the whole system.
And the Powers That Be get all anal and tell me “You can’t do that.”
And I’m like, “Just because no one has done it before?”
You have to be flexible dealing with trailblazers or you’ll get blazed on, left wondering what happened…
That’s why it’s so beautiful being Muslim.
The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) Taught us that “THE NATION OF ISLAM HAS A FUTURE OF UNLIMITED PROGRESS”
NO LIMITS ON OUR PROGRESS!!!
When you Eat To Live, you grow into a new growth. Your body stops decaying if you’ve reached that point and you start to age backwards.
Your body was made to live.
We kill ourselves with the way we live and the way we eat.
All Wrong.
So we start to die and decay.
Our cells renew themselves if you take care of them properly.
If you eat right, you can live as long as you want to.
It’s the same in life. When your physical ages backwards, you start to think and feel younger.
I think, feel and look younger than my daughter who is a Christian. Al Hamdulillah!!!
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I called a travel agency today and found a flight for about the same price as a bus ticket.
Flying is fun, but the hassle at the airport!
AND
I’M A MUSLIM!
I am not trying to get detained and miss my flight.
I like the ride too, on the bus.
You get to really see the country, instead of just flying over it.
I’ve done it so many times though.
I like to walk through the city and when you fly all you really get to see is the airport.
Maybe when Zawji gets me we can go in his G-whatever.
It’s not even about the travel time.
I kinda like taking a long time getting where I’m going.
The adventure is in the journey.
And when you pull into New Orleans on the bus, greeted by those first words in French, it just makes you feel that way.
I don’t know.
I don’t think so.
I’ve learned that doing something, just to try something new is not always a good idea.
I can’t think of a time when I did it and was satisfied or pleased with the outcome.
So cheah
It’s not about the Benjamins, Baby.
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I can’t believe I’m gonna be in the New for Mardi Gras.
I hate parades.
I don’t wanna see no white ninnies. (Black neither for that matter)
I don’t wanna be around a gang of devils.
The Black parades just have little girls in short skirts and alcohol.
Maybe I’ll just walk with the brass bands.
That’s the only thing I like
AND
I LOVE THAT PART.
LLLLLLLLOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE
The Brass Bands
In Sha Allah, Zawji will be there for the Jazz Fest.
Stevie Wonder’s going to be there.
I met him in Leimert but I’ve never seen him live.
I hope he does “Fingertips”
I’m excited about that.
I have a pass waiting for me.
Come on, ZAWJI!
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Wait.
Yes, I have seen Mr. Wonderful Live.
At Natalie’s Funeral 😥
But I would like to see him on better conditions.
I hope he does Fingertips, I just Called… and especially
“Don’t You Worry ‘Bout A Thing”
“Do I Do”
And all his Seventies hits, Nah just Hotter Than July.
Was that Seventies or early eighties? Let me G it. BRB
September 29, 1980.
That’s my favorite Stevie Album
I like Musiquarium and Songs in the Key of Life, Innervisions and Talking Book.
BUT
As far as an album that I love EVERY SONG.
Hotter Than July is it.
I love how he blends the songs into each other.
Continuous music.
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1:11 P.M.
PLEASE CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER BELOW
BY ELIJAH MUHAMMAD, MESSENGER OF ALLAH
Reprinted from the FEBRUARY 21, 1969 edition of MUHAMMAD SPEAKS NEWSPAPER
WE ARE NOT NEGROES, That is, those of us who have awakened into the knowledge of self.
WE ARE BLACK ORIGINAL PEOPLE. THERE IS NO RACE OR NATION which has been called from their BEGINNING. . .NEGROES. This is a slang that the slave-master and his children have given to the American Black Slave after they had been successful in depriving our fathers of the knowledge of self. They made us not a member of the societies of the earth nor of him, because of the lack of knowledge of self and others.
THIS MADE US A SPIRITUALLY BLIND, DEAF AND DUMB PEOPLE. It is PITIFUL even to write it. They used our fathers whom the slave-masters had made helpless by the robbery of the knowledge of ourselves.
ALLAH (GOD), WHO CAME IN THE PERSON OF MASTER FARD MUHAMMAD, To WHOM Praises Are Due Forever, Said to me, that there cannot be a worse robbery than to rob a man of the knowledge of self. This is why it is associated with physical blindness. It is awful, even for one to go and rob a man of his eyes with which he sees the way in going: going forth and coming in. The blind man depends on others to lead him to get around among the people. He cannot see. His eyes have been put out. PITIFUL. AFTER THE WHITE SLAVE-MASTERS put our fathers in this condition, robbed of the knowledge of self, they called them Negroes, meaning something that is mentally dead and in neutral, and cannot go of itself, in such condition.
A NEGRO, BEING MENTALLY DEAD, is not a part of civilization. He is subject to be taken and put into service to anyone who desires him.
IF YOU DO NOT LEAD HIM TO THE WORK, tell him what to do and how to do it, he will stand, sit or lay down and work not. He becomes a servant in the hands of civilization.
HIS MENTAL BLINDNESS is compared with PHYSICAL BLINDNESS. A person who is physically blind has to be lead and guided everywhere he goes or he feels his way with a walking cane, or is led by one who sees where he is going. So it is with the mentally dead Black Man of America.
NEGRO . . . He prides himself in whatever slang names and service made of him by his now mocking slave-master. He does not know his own name. He is proud of being called by a name of his slave-master or whatever the slave-master calls him; he will answer to it. They feel proud to answer to meaning-less and disgraceful names and nicknames that the white man calls him.
IF YOU TRY TO MAKE HIM SEE that he is disgracing himself by answering to nick-names given to him by his master, he will dismiss you and say; “What is in a name? A name does not mean anything.” This is silliness. He makes himself meaningless. Regardless to what he is called he means nothing after all.
THIS IS OUR POOR PEOPLE. BLACK EDUCATORS, Black business men and Black ministers refuse to accept the Honorable and Independent Names of God that would give them respect. He refuses because he loves and worships his master’s name which keeps him a slave to his master.
THE WHITE SLAVE-MASTERS AND THEIR CHILDREN call them Negroes or Nigger after having neutralized them so they are unable to join and become a member of the civilized society of the Nations.
HE CALLS HIMSELF A NEGRO. Let us see what this Negro (nigger) actually means. In log mills there is a large piece of iron that is powered by steam, that turns the logs for sawing boards from it, what we call, the sawyer. The piece of iron is called the ‘nigger’. The sawyer makes the piece of iron (nigger) to turn the log in what-ever way he wants it to be turned. I have worked in saw mills when I was a young man.
THIS PIECE OF IRON (nigger) which is used to turn the heavy log, is neutral. It cannot move of itself.
THE BLACK MAN, so-called Negro, uneducated and deprived of the knowledge of self, was given this name by the white man, meaning that “he is now a neutral man. He is not one of us nor is he able to call himself one of the members of his own people, for he has lost the knowledge of both and he now awaits someone to put him into action toward the “knowledge of self.”
THIS IS THE AMERICAN SO-CALLED NEGRO. SO ALLAH (GOD) TAUGHT ME.
PLEASE CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER BELOW
January 31, 2017
10:22 A.M.A.D.-Jamal 😉
I remember when my daughter was little, I found out she was upset because she had to wait until THE LAST DAY IN MAY for her birthday.
I felt guilty because I let my doctor induce my labour. 😥
If I had not, she would have been born in June like most of my family. 😥
And probably earlier in the month… 😥
Sorry Pumpkin. 😥
I don’t think I ever told you that. But I’m like most old boring people…. Telling the same stories over and over and over and over and over and over…. 😉
My Grandmother told me not to let my doctor induce my labour.
But girls are bigger to carry than boys and to put it quite frankly, not trying to excuse my behaviour, but I felt like a “beached whale” and was tired of being pregnant.
Maybe if my grandmother had told me “WHY” I shouldn’t let him induce my labour I would have listened and maybe wouldn’t have done it.
Now, I really regret it and would advise women to just let the baby come on naturally. Even if you’re “overdue” like I was. The Baby knows when it’s time to be born. Everything should happen when it’s supposed to. Especially something as important as a birth date and time. Science shouldn’t interfere.
It could set off a chain of events that is hard to correct.
My daughter and I don’t even speak to each other now.
Maybe if I had let her be born when SHE wanted to be born, we would have a better relationship.
But only Allah knows.
My sister told me later that doctors just do that (schedule deliveries) so that they won’t have to get up if you go into labour in the middle of the night NATURALLY.
I feel like such a victim.
But my poor daughter has to go through the rest of her life waiting on THE LAST DAY IN MAY for her birthday. Sorry again, Sweet Pumpkin! 😦
We don’t celebrate any days in The Nation Of Islam anyway except SAVIOUR’S DAY (February 26th). But I didn’t start practicing Islam until she was 14. Wow! It doesn’t seem like she was that old. She’s almost 26 now. Unbelievable.
I still picture her as an adorable chubby little toddler. I can’t believe she’s old enough to marry and make me a grandmother!
When I was her age, I was already divorced, about to graduate college, working full time and raising a 5 year-old. I had had a nervous breakdown but at least I made it past 25.
At that time, it was a big deal (for the Brothers anyway) to live past 25.
Pac didn’t make it. 😥
Although I’ve heard some music that sounded like him if he put it out now.
No lie.
Blew my mind.
But, Michael Jackson puts out a new song every day to this day.
Low-key though…
Janet was better.
I read that when they did “Scream”
They were real competitive with each other.
I don’t believe that.
I remember watching the Jackson’s movie that Jermaine produced and it showed when Michael went solo that they were proud of him, not at all jealous. Also, I read the introduction to a J5 compilation written by Janet wherein she said how proud she was of her brothers growing up and how much she loved their music.
So, I think that competition thing is just media hype
Most people prefer girl singers though for some reason.
I think it’s something about the pitch of the female voice that’s more entertaining.
Some Muslims believe women are not supposed to sing publicly.
I don’t.
The Messenger (PBUH) did say we were not supposed to be singing filthy Love Songs though; tempting men and whatnot.
I just sing to my Zawji
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Mike was a biter too.
He bit his dances from Jeffrey Daniels (of Soul Train and Shalimar fame) and he bit the Moonwalk from some Breakers.
I wish more people knew.
I wonder if THEY knew he was stealing their moves.
That would be different.
But I feel deceived.
I thought Mikey came up with that stuff on his own.
I can’t stand biters.
Even if he did get clearance from them. What about your fans who think YOU came up with it?
It’s like Rakim penning “Summertime” for Willard, Jr.
When he sold it to him, he had to give up all rights and he may have been cool with that, but it’s DECEPTIVE.
I almost feel like singers and rappers should only sing songs that they’ve written.
Jazz singers and players will credit the songwriter before or after they perform a number but who knew Ice Cube wrote all of NWA’s songs before the movie?
Unless you buy the album (but who buys albums nowadays) you may never know who wrote a song. I guess you can Google it. But even still people lie.
A journalist asked RA if he wrote Summertime and stood there and lied straight through his teeth.
Look how Flav looks at him
That money can be a big incentive.
But that’s hard for me to accept, especially being a writer.
Biters take credit for somebody else’s creativity.
It’s deceptive.
I mean, I don’t know. The whole thing is confusing.
It almost makes me never want to sing or play music publicly again.
I heard this Brother sing a song in my style and it just shut me up.
I never even knew I had a style until I heard him. LOL
It was when I used to go to Day Therapy and they would pick us up from L.A. and take us up to the mountains. So we were in the car about three hours every day and he had been listening to me sing for about a week and then one day he started singing sounding JUST LIKE ME.
It really opened my eyes.
I didn’t know I had a sound that was imitatable. LOL (making up words again 😉 ) But there he was. Singing just like me.
It made me more conscious about who I sing around, especially over an extended period of time.
I remember once I was in the hospital and I drew this picture of some flowers and left it in the day room with the other pictures other people had drawn and/or colored.
Then, one day in Art Therapy, this she-devil starts talking about she was going to draw a picture.
Why did she draw the exact same pictures of flowers I had drawn.
I was pissed.
I said, “You stole that from me!” and went to get my picture.
Then, like a real devil, SHE GOT MAD and knocked the paint water all over my picture.
I was stunned.
I mean, how you gonna get mad at ME for biting MY style.
Devils.
I know she was just mad because I called her out.
But I didn’t tell her to bite.
LOL
I guess when you put your art out there, you leave it open for someone to bite. Truthfully, she didn’t know that it was me who had drawn the picture, so I shouldn’t take it personally. But the fact that she announced that she was going to draw a picture, and then drew MY picture like she had come up with the concept, was too much for me.
Anyway, I said all that to say, that this is THE LAST DAY IN JANUARY
And it feels like it.
This morning was so-so.
Kinda cool, kinda not so cool.
I get sick and tired of biters trying to be close to me, trying to steal my shine.
I just move.
Then they sit in my seat.
First breakfast was aight, I got to drink some milk.
Second breakfast we had Cream of Wheat, which I was so thankful was not grits.
A while ago, there was this big debate on Facebook about whether grits were better with sugar or with salt. Either way they are too hard on the digestive system for your good health. Do not eat them at all.
I had them one time when I was little. We used to pick up this Brother for school and every morning he would get in the car with a mouthful of grits. Thankfully, my mother never prepared grits for us. Well, one morning, I happened to go inside and I tasted them for myself. I almost threw up. Literaturely. I gagged on them.
I’ve come to learn that most foods that I don’t like are not good for you anyway. Like grits. And other foods that I initially didn’t like, but came to like because it was all I was given or made myself like because everybody else liked: peanut butter, greens, black-eyed peas, ham, lobster, MEAT, cornbread, pasta… None of these foods prolong life, rather they take life away.
BUT
It is THE LAST DAY IN JANUARY.
We are one month into 2017. It is so funny how fast time flies. I’m still getting used to the idea of being in 2017. Next year, I will have been out of High School 30 YEARS!
BUT
I feel like I’m STILL in High School!!!
LOL
😀
Seriously though.
Admittedly, I’m a year younger than most of the people I graduated with because I started school when I was four. I told you my mother never loved me. She just wanted me out of the house. But I’m younger than people who graduated AFTER me. It’s crazy.
I used to console myself about being younger than everybody, by telling them, “When you’re 30, I’ll still be 29!” LOL
Now, we’re pushing 50!
Al Hamdulillah!
So thankful to be here. Healthy and Happy!
With so much of my life ahead of me.
My children are growing up but I can still have another one, In sha Allah!
(If it Pleases Allah)
I can’t believe Makay-kay’s going to be 18!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
It seems like yesterday, Zawji was holding and kissing her in his arms…
While I was miserable wanting to hold and kiss her too
AND
Her mother was oblivious to what was going on
Preoccupied with my camera.
I wanted her to go nurse our baby.
I did it instead.
You know I’m a Jersey Cow!
I always have milk.
If anyone is having trouble producing milk,
Call me (213)378-6798.
I’ll just charge you Room & Board
And if you are not Black
Don’t waste my time.
Those days are over.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I’m thrilled because I didn’t hear the formerly sick Sister cough
ONE TIME
Last Night.
AL HAMDULILLAH!
If you have a dry cough/wet cough, whether it’s asthma, pneumonia, tuberculosis, yellow fever, leukemia, ANY COUGH, find some COLT’S FOOT. Click here if you missed the link yesterday.
You will have to take a walk or get out of the car, because it’s a weed and grows on the curb or in abandoned lots.
Now is a good time because it’s flu season and a lot of people have coughs. It also happens to be the time that it’s growing.
I would recommend not procrastinating because it’s growing in proportion to the rains and soon people are going to be mowing the lawns, so get it now.
Just heat up some water, put the LEAVES in the water. Let it seep for about three minutes and drink. You can sweeten it if you need to. I’ve never tasted it but sweetened it when I gave it to my son. The Sister yesterday drank it plain.
Zawji told me it worked before she even finished the remedy.
But I’m a Muslim Scientist and we have to have proof.
If anybody reprimands or belittles you for wanting proof of anything;
DON’T TRUST THEM.
Especially Christians.
There is nothing wrong with wanting proof.
Tell them to show you Jesus if he is still alive.
They’ll say he’s up in the sky “on the right-hand side of the Father”
Then tell them to show you the father.
LOL
I can show you my God.
Show me yours.
Same thing with the Farrakhaners and others who say
Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him)
Is still alive.
Tell them to show him to you.
I would LOVE it if the Messenger (PBUH) was still alive.
I would like to see and hear him in person.
Possibly shake his hand.
But I know he told us everything he had to say.
He even put it in a BOOK.
He taught until he was not able to teach anymore, so if he were still alive, he would still be teaching.
It makes me want to kill somebody almost when people try to tell me the Messenger (PBUH) is still alive.
It’s hard enough to accept that he is dead, then here you come trying to make me go through the pain of him dying again all over again!
Prove it.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So, I’m just going to cool out until I get my check, then I can start all over.
This has been the longest month of my life.
Literaturely.
I haven’t taken a shower or bath since I don’t know when.
But only some people smell me.
It’s like I can turn it on and off.
Not for real.
Zawji turns it on and off.
I told you I wasn’t taking one until I can take one with Zawji.
But, I’ma take one when I get my check.
Whichever comes first.
I was hoping someone would report me and I could take an emergency shower.
I hate waiting.
I hate begging.
And you have to do both to get a shower on Skid Row.
So
I’m just not gonna take one.
Ya’ll just gonna have to smell me.
Literaturely.
It’s good though because people I don’t like will leave.
Or just have to suffer.
Sorry. Not sorry.
You shouldn’t love devils so much.
I’m realizing that my biggest beef with Black People is their love of devils.
That’s what it really boils down to.
They don’t like me because I don’t like devils.
I don’t like them because they love devils.
But We Are Living In the Greatest Day Of Separation.
So
Cheah
No Skin Off My Nose.
You go with your people.
I will go with mine.
But don’t come looking for me,
When you realize that they are going to be destroyed.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I can’t wait to get my check.
I’m Audi 5000, G
NEW ORLEANS HERE I COME!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So thankful I haven’t had to “prostitute” myself for a safe night off the street.
That’s literaturely how it feels.
He tells me he doesn’t want sex but has a condom and a bottle of KY on the dresser by the bed.
I can’t.
I slept on the floor two nights.
If I go back it’s going to be the third night and someone once told me that three nights is all he allows a woman to stay over after that she’s gotta go.
I feel like that third night he’s going to try and force me to do something I didn’t do the first two nights.
It’s scary.
I’m vulnerable being in some man’s home.
And I like ’em BIG & SCARY!!!
LOL
Anything could happen.
I don’t want to give him the slightest enticement.
He tried to say I let him kiss me.
Pffffff
Not after Buster or Edgar.
It took me 35 years to realize no one can ever replace my Zawji
And I don’t hide my endless love for him.
The first thing they see when they see me is his picture.
I tell them, when they inevitably ask,
He’s my “Zawji”
“What does that mean?”
“It means, he’s my EVERYTHING. My husband. My Best Friend. My Daddy. My Brother. My Son. My Pooh Bear. My Soan Papdi. My Bay. My BOO. My Soulmate. My Nafis. MY ZAWJI!”
I don’t know what they want from me.
Sex.
Love.
Probably whatever they think I’ll give them, which is nothing.
I just use them for what I need.
They get to be seen with a beautiful lady.
Again. I’m not boasting. But I’m the one. Just ask me. It shall be done.
Don’t Bother To Compare.
I haven’t even seen Batman.
I guess he’s hiding out because everybody know he messed up a good thing.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
Somebody actually called me the day before yesterday.
I started not to answer because it’s ALWAYS bad news.
But it was a 213 number and my phone was actually working. SMH
I answered and
Said, “Mm-hmm”
Nobody said anything.
So I said, “Yes” Like you’re really supposed to say when you answer the phone.
Muslims don’t say “Hello” when we answer the phone.
We don’t have time or patience for gossip. Just get to the reason why you called.
They still didn’t say anything. So I hung up.
They called back and I said “Yes”
Still no response.
When they called again I didn’t answer.
Yesterday, I called the number and it sounded like a Black girl, then Zawji switched matrices and it was an Asian lady.
I just hung up.
Why did they call again this morning?
I didn’t answer.
NOBODY ever calls me.
Me and my son use FB Messenger. Sometimes I use Gmail calling. But I never actually use the phone. Maybe for business.
Everybody knows not to call me. Because I don’t answer.
FB is your best bet. That is, if you’re not one of the 2000+ people I’ve blocked.
You can always leave a comment here too. No one will see it. I have to approve all comments first.
What you tryna hide anyway? 😉
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I cannot WAIT to go back to the Jazz Playhouse
I need a fix.
Literaturely.
I can’t remember the last time I had a hit of some LIVE JAZZ.
I think it was that “fundraiser” for the Candlelight with Mr. Henry with the smoky blue lights that I had to listen to outside because that mean lady who owns it doesn’t like me.
It was swingin’ tho!
Man! Do you know what it means to miss New Orleans???
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
3:21 P.M.
PLEASE CLICK ON THE BOOK COVER BELOW
Monday, January 30, 2017 3:57 p.m.
Captains are responsible for the entire unit.
We are held to a higher standard.
If anybody messes up
We get blamed.
So, what happens when WE mess up.
We don’t.
That’s what.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I can’t believe January is almost over.
Although it seemed like it lasted at least a year.
I can’t believe I’ve only been in L.A. about three weeks.
Seems like an ETERNITY.
I can’t wait to get back to the NOLA.
I’m really going to try and catch Papa’s show.
It costs $40.
I know it’s worth it.
I’m just going to have to tolerate the devils. 😡
Hopefully, it’ll be a night where his sons show up and sit in with him.
I was wondering why they don’t play together all the time.
It reminds me of when I interviewed J5.
They all came in whenever
AND
I was like, “No, no, no. This is all wrong.”
And made them go back out and come in together.
You know?
Like a GROUP is supposed to come in.
The Marsalises are a FAMILY!
So, I really expect them to play together all the time.
They sound so good together.
But they’re men
SO
You know they all have to grow up and do their own thing.
I have YET to meet a man who didn’t want to be a LEADER.
Papa and MAMA have at least SIX SONS!!!
I don’t know how many daughters.
I guess if they all lead or side with other musicians they can make their family slave name more known as well as train other musicians instead of keeping the knowledge esoteric.
My paternal family was musical too.
Everybody played a different instrument or two or three or sang or both.
I feel like I can’t function (handicapped) without music.
I had a guitar because pianos are so cumbersome but if I had one, I would play ALL DAY!
LITERATURELY!!!
🙂
You know I make up words. 😉
I love music.
My son would play the piano or the harmonica or mbira (that’s what came up on G but we call it something I can’t remember right now) for me and it would just brighten my day.
He would also put on puppet shows and create art that would make me feel that way.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I think I appreciate the simple beautiful things in life more than most people.
Yesterday, I was walking home and when I was crossing the street, I caught a glimpse of the mountains just as the sun was setting and it was the most beautiful thing I had seen in quite a while. I had to make sure I didn’t get hit, it captured my attention so.
I make sporadic trips to the beach extemporaneously, like this morning.
The bus there and I happened to meet at the corner at the same time, so I just got on.
That’s what you call FREEDOM.
Being able to go to the BEACH whenever you feel like it.
Just because the bus is there…
I am so thankful.
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
I wish I had some tap shoes.
I would tap dance all the way home.
😀
But I think I’m going to create some artwork that expresses how I feel.
I designed a garment, hence my opening statement.
It incorporated a piece we’re not allow to wear in the M.G.T.
SO
I designed another one, which incidentally, looks exactly how I dress right now.
I just made it simpler.
It feels like Spring already in L.A.
85 degrees and I’m walking around in a fur cape.
Gotta downsize for Spring.
I guess I’ll stash it somewhere until Autumn.
I don’t believe in storage and I’ve finally given up on my mother.
The cord is cut.
My Beloved Teacher – The Honourable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) Taught His Faithful Followers That If Someone Doesn’t Want You In Their House – Go Somewhere Else And Make Your Own House.
My mother doesn’t want me in her house, so I’m going to stop trying to force her to accept me. It’s painful accepting that your mother just doesn’t love you. But I’m 45 and I get it now.
I just have to move on.
That’s How Our Tribe Got Here In The First Place.
THE GOD TRIBE OF SHABAZZ.
Fifty thousand years ago, The God Scientist named Shabazz wanted to make a people who would be “strong; powerful; nothing could defeat them” But the other twelve disagreed. They told him “Go. Make your man. But don’t make him here.” So, it was Africa he went to – He and his family. And there, He made a people with kinky hair who would conquer the wild beasts and one day rule the world.
Al Hamdulillah!
Subhanallah.
Growing Pains feel good.
I’ve never felt them before. At least I wasn’t aware of it.
ALLAHU AKBAR!
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
So Chump is sending people back to their country if they’re coming from certain Muslim countries. LOL He’s so stupid. Trying to prevent domestic terrorism. Idiot. What does domestic mean?
We’re already here, Dummy.
What you need to do is DEPORT THE MUSLIMS IN AMERICA.
I would be so glad to go
ANYWHERE
OTHER
THAN
HERE.
Especially IRAN, AFGHANISTAN, SUDAN, SYRIA, PALESTINE, SAUDI, OMAN,
Or ANY MUSLIM COUNTRY…
I’m trying to go anyway.
But getting a passport costs money and you have to have paperwork and whatnot
SO
CHEAH
CHUMP
Deport The Muslims.
I’ll be the first to sign up.
I don’t care how long you make me wait in line.
Hell, that’s all we do on Skid Row anyway.
Lines for EVERYTHING.
I’m trying to get on the GUEST LIST!!!
Put me on VIP to get deported.
LOL
Everybody says, “I’ve been there and America is better!”
That’s because we have different values.
I’m already homeless on Skid Row.
The only difference is the bombing and gun battles.
But somebody got shot down here yesterday,
SO
I’ll take my chances.
5:58 p.m.