Dear Brother Louis,

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaam-Alaikum!

My Dear Beloved Musical Phenomena,

In my humble opinion, you are, hands down, the GREATEST TRUMPET MAN WHO EVER LIVED!

I love Miles, Lee, Dizzy, Clifford and Wynton is EXTREMELY talented, but YOUR MUSIC, My Dear Brother….When you BLOW, it just takes me to another level.

Your Duets With Sister Ella are Stellar and I hope they are around forever. I cannot fathom anything that could ever surpass them.

It makes my cry, though, Dear Brother, to think of how the devil Caucasians exploited you and the many other Black artists, who let them.

It makes me cry also, Dear Brother, to know that if it had not been for those same devils’ recordings of you and all of my favorite musicians, I would never have been able to hear your music. 😥

It also makes me cry, Brother Louis, to know that if I had been born during the time you were performing, I would have to sit up in the “Peanut Gallery” if I was allowed admission at all (like at the renowned Cotton Club where Blacks were only allowed to entertain the devil patrons but not enjoy the services offered there), if I wanted to see one of your legendary performances.

It makes my heart break, Dear Brother Louis, that you did not have enough Knowledge of Self to see how derogatory “Sleepy Time Down South” was and is to your own Black kind.

I’m sitting here, off Basin Street in Congo Square/Armstrong Park, watching nothing but devils come and go, posing and taking pictures in front of your statue, my dear poor, ignorant Brother.

I’ve been here ALL DAY and have not yet seen ONE Black Person come and visit your statue.

They (America) USED you, their servitude slave, Dear Brother, to travel around the world and act as an ambassador to convince their enemies of what a great country she it. HER SLAVE!

I know you didn’t know any better, Brother Louis, at least I hope you didn’t. I know the poison America has injected into all of her slaves – The So-called American Negroes – through her white supremacist school system, where ALL little Black schoolchildren are taught to worship and admire you because of your love for them.

I hate to say it, My Dear Brother, because of my love for you (regardless of your ignorance) and your music, but you were the Biggest Coon in American History. As much as I love you, Dear Brother, this is a fact.

Some might argue and say, Oprah Winfrey, but she has not been designated by the U.S. Government to act as an Ambassador to Foreign countries, like you were, My Brother.

Oprah Winfrey does not travel the world singing the praises of her slavemasters like you did, my Dearly Beloved, although Blind, Deaf, Dumb and Mentally Dead Dear Brother.

I know you had beef with some of the younger cats who were wide awake to the realization of their condition as “second-class citizens” (if that) here in the United Snakes of America, Dear Brother, like Diz.

I really wish you would have listened to him because that “Wonderful World” (just because of your reputation and image) was some ol’ bullshit, Dear Brother. However, I am happy that you presented a united front in the presence of our Universal and Open enemies – the Devil Caucasians.

Forsooth, if some white hippie, or even a self-proclaimed naturalist, like myself, had recorded it, Dear Brother, it would have had an entirely different connotation. However, because of your history of gratuitous obsequiousness toward your slavemasters, it came off as just another bearer of witness to your blind, deaf and dumb and mentally dead wretched state of mental slavery.

*I just broke my pen, throwing it at these devils.
I wish I had a grenade!
I hate these so-called “Jazz enthusiasts”,
Who claim Jazz as America’s only original art form,
And as if it is their own.
I just wanna CHOKE ‘EM!!!
ALL OF THEM!!!!

* * * **

Brother Louis, I would be remiss in my duties as a journalist if I did not relate for my readers, a story probably only circulated within the jazz community of artists…. wait, wait. I can’t tell that one. I read your autobiography.

(The first autobiography of a jazz musician ever written) and I used to get so frustrated, Brother, when you would not divulge some of your “inside” stuff!

So, I’ll tell another one, you did tell in your autobiography. You explained how when you played for the Queen of England and her people, how stiff and stuck-up and boring they all were. So, you gave them all laxatives and told them to “Loosen up!” LOL

Okay, damn I can’t hold water. But, this is so apropos seeing as how (when I wrote this anyway) it was weed-smoking season….

Anyway, you admitted in your autobio that every night before bed, you would take a laxative and then every morning you would “wake and bake” and loosen up in the bathroom. 😉

Well, the story goes that once you happened upon The President of the United States on one of your return trips from some foreign country and the President turned out to be a big fan of yours.

So, he asked you if there was anything he could do for you? And you said, “Yeah….”

Slip this bag through customs real quick…..”

You ever notice how when boys add “real quick” to anything they ask of you, it’s impossible to say no? 🙂 #boyz #gottaloveem 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤

***TO READ LOUIS ARMSTRONG’S AUTOBIOGRAPHY ONLINE
FOR FREE,
CLICK HERE!!!***

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