Oh My God!!!

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

candlelight-lounge

AS-SALAAMU ‘ALAIKUM MA BEAUTIFUL BLACK AND BELOVED BEBIES!!!

So, after I found out about the fund raiser for the Candlelight featuring my favourite trombonist – Mr. Corey Henry – I was going to go to the Library and charge my laptop and iphone but I found an outlet near a HONEYCOMB HIDEOUT, so I started charging my stuff, real comfortable like, next thing I know, the pigs pull up right in front of me.

I wasn’t doing nothing wrong, or so I thought, so I maintained my position.

Then, a Brother pig gets out and asks if I was visiting someone.  I was in the hospital parking lot. And I was like no, I’m charging my laptop. He said, this is private property, you’re not allowed to be here. So, I was like, Cool, I’ll just go.

But, I think pigs are like any other Black men, they see a pretty girl and want to cuff her. LITERALLY too. So, he’s like, not so fast, miss missy, do you have any I.D. on you?

And, I learned a long time ago to NEVER give the pigs your I.D., so I was like No, I don’t have any I.D., I’ll just leave. Trying anything to get away free.

But he was not having it.

You know it’s against the law in the state of Louisiana to not carry I.D.

No, I didn’t know that, Sir.

Even though I figured as much, since it’s the same in California.

So, anyway, he asked for my name and birthday but not my SSN, which was unusual.

I told him my name and took ten years off my birthdate. 😉

But when he didn’t ask for my Social, I knew he was gonna let me go.

And he did.

So I just went back to the HONEYCOMB HIDEOUT but I felt Mr. Henry telling me not to go to the fundraiser.

So, I just chilled but then Razzaq told me to go anyway.

So, you know Razzaq is Jefe too, so I went to the library to use the bathroom and I ran into Keyvin resting on a bench.

I was genuinely happy to see him, having hoped I would run into him today since I was in his neck of the woods.

He wanted to kick it, but I had to use the bathroom, so I was kinda reluctant to leave his company and do you know he asked me if I wanted to have a one-night-stand?!?!?!?!

I was like, “Boy, you better go somewhere with that. I’M MARRIED!” And I showed him Razzaq’s picture. Do you know he started talking about my body? I ran away from him.

But he made me so self-conscious! I mean how can he even see? I wear my garments which are loose-fitting and cover every inch from my neck to my ankles AND I had on a knee-length cape covering even that! I mean really! Seriously? Miss me with that!!!

So, I went to the library, then pushed to the Treme’.

The streets were packed with everybody in town for the Bayou Classic. I only saw one group of people rooting for Grambling. Everybody was Southern. But I think they lost. I kept asking people on my way home but everybody acted like they were deaf. LOL That’s why I’m pretty sure we lost.

So, I get to the Candlelight and before I could even lock Lulu up, this drunk woman comes staggering over to me with a beer in her hand talking about she heard I had followed a little girl home and I couldn’t stay if I was going to be scaring the children. This is a Private Park. I was like, Seriously? GTFOH But I told her I love children. And she seemed to accept that answer and staggered back to the party.

So, a band was playing but by the time I locked up Lu, they had finished and I saw the cutest little boy with a little tiny trumpet. I asked him could he play it. Daddy said, Not yet. And I was amazed at how small his trumpet was and I was wondering if it was a cornet. But he said it was a Pocket Trumpet and I breathed a sigh of relief because I bought my son a cornet and I was hoping it wasn’t that small.

So, anyway, apparently there was a break between groups, so I went and bought a couple of juices and sat down and started reading my Message To The Blackman in America and listening to Musiq Soulchild.

I hadn’t listened to him yet and I was really into the music.

The lady who owns the Candlelight and her cronies don’t really like me, hence the “welcoming committee” :/ but the Brothers were cool. I don’t trust women with blonde hair anyway.

I saw this Brother I always see, and he said, You’ve been reading that same book for six months. I said, Correction Brother, I’ve been reading it for the past ten years.

So, I see a few musicians. You can always tell trumpet players because they carry these square backpacks and you always know they have a trumpet in there. They are the only ones who can do that.

Then I saw Mr. Henry and I had to keep telling myself, I’m my husband’s wife, because I’ve got a thing for musicians and he’s tall and Razzaq’s Doppelganger, and he showed me a little more than a little attention, but I can’t.

A. I cannot hurt Razzaq.

B. I really don’t wanna hurt Razzaq.

So, I just listened to my music and stayed pretty much to myself. Even though I know I looked like I’m somebody with my fur cape and all white garments. I told you Will I Am asked me if I could sing back in the day, so I just have that “look.”

So then, I see Mr. Henry with his trombone and I knew they were about to start. But I kept on my headphones until I actually heard the music.

So, then I see Theodore. The O/G Brother who walked off with my Miles Davis Autobiography last time, but brought it back. And he asked me could he read my Message To The Blackman. I ain’t stupid. I was like Nah, Bruh. Fool me twice, shame on me. Then he asked could he listen to my phone. I was like, Seriously? HELL NAW! But I just said, they are playing music in the club! Then he said, I wanna listen to my own music. I said, that’s MY music. So, then he just comes on out and asked for $1.35.

I don’t know why but I felt like he was trying to play me. So, I told him I needed it. And he asked again! And I was like, Nah Bruh. He was like PLEEEEEZE. And I was like, Look, it’s the end of the month, Niggaz is broke!

That worked. He rolled up.

So, like I said, the suggested donation was a dub but all I had left after buying my juices was $12. (They didn’t accept Food Stamps :/ ) And I was going to pay $10 to go see Mr. Henry on Thursday at his weekly gig, so I figured I might as well give my last ten dollars to support the Candlelight and do you know that bih told me it was twenty dollars to get in?

I told her that’s all I have.

She handed it back to me.

I was like, “Hmph! Some fundraiser! Refusing money!”

But I know she just doesn’t like me because I don’t like devils.

So, I went back outside and just listened to the music.

But it looked so COOL inside!!!

It was BLUE and I wanted to be inside that mug like a mug!

But live music is live music and I contented myself knowing that most musicians had to sit outside the shows before being allowed in for one reason or another.

So, then here comes the Brother who was smoking crack last time, OH! I forgot to tell you, after my donation money was refused, I saw Mr. Henry come look outside, like wondering if I was still there 😀 And then here comes the smoker talking about Mr. Henry lost his phone, did I see it?

Now, this is the same Brother that was talking on a stolen phone the last time I saw him.

So, I was like, He didn’t lose no phone, you just trying to give me a hard time.

He was actually telling someone to call the phone and acting like it was about to ring from my purse or some ish!

So, after I said that, he felt stupid and walked away.

He knows I don’t dig drugs, so he was trying to start some ish to get everybody to make me leave.

But you can’t fool a Muslim nowadays.

So, then Theodore is trying to push up on me and the “welcoming committee” comes and asks him if we were together. He said, Yeah. Then she asked me and I ignored her. Seriously? Leave me alone!

So, I’m really digging the music. They did this Samba or Bossa Nova number that I was really feeling. Orfeu Negro is one of my favorite movies and I like to dance like the women in that movie when I hear that style.

So, I’m standing right outside so I could hear the music good. Then when they finish that song, they played a song I didn’t like so much, and I started being able to smell the port-a-potty that I was standing right next to, so I went to sit down.

Then here comes the “welcoming committee” again. She says something to this devil and points at me. “Ma’am!” She starts calling me. I ignore her. “Ma’am!” I just got up and walked farther away. In fact I walked all the way to the edge of the park before I turned around. She was gone.

So, I went back to where Theodore was sitting and this Brother walks by. I thought I heard Theodore call him “Umar” That’s an Arabic name. So, I asked him if his name was Umar?

Why did he say his name was “Bo Monkey Red?”

I was like “THE Bo Monkey Red????”

I told you earlier I’m a big print media reader. Well, every magazine I’ve picked up since I’ve been in New Orleans had something about this man in it. I was not expecting to meet him like that. But I was cool.

I was just like, “You’re his father,” very matter-of-fact.

And he started telling me how quiet Mr. Henry was growing up and how he could not figure him out until he got him into music. He told me about his other children and I asked him to Lapeitah. He is the Grand Marshall for all of the Second Line Parades and that’s one of his dances. Mr. Henry has a song about it on his record. Okay, I just looked for it. But I remember he just mentions it in one of the songs. That’s the title of his c.d. “Lapeitah” I asked him to do it, but he said he wasn’t feeling it right then. I understood.

He told me his daughter plays trumpet in an all-girl band. I’ve heard of them but I couldn’t remember the name. And he didn’t say, but I’m pretty sure it’s these girls here.

But I had SUCH a GOOD TIME.

I LOVE Mr. Henry’s music. It’s brass but it’s FUNK and I enjoyed it thoroughly. He calls his band a FUNKTET, which is pretty clever because he doesn’t have to change the name if the lineup changes.

This Sister was playing a tambourine and I wanted to snatch it out her hand so badly. I think she knew. But she sounded okay most of the time. And she was with the “krewe du blondes” so I know if I asked her if I could play she would’ve tried to clown. And she didn’t sound bad, so I just enjoyed the music.

They did my favourite song.

You know I’m straight Hip-Hop, so I love when somebody can bust a rhyme – DECENTLY.

I hate when everybody tries to rap just because it’s popular. If you can’t rap PLEEEEEASE PASS THE MIC. PLEASE!

I think that’s why I still haven’t gone to see Kermit Ruffins.

That and the fact that I’m supposed to be Ella to his Louis.

I’m waiting until Allah destroys the devils before I hit the stage unless it’s in a segregated club like back in the day. And from what I’ve heard, he loves them. Got his daughter or somebody up there singing for devils not to mention his song choices – SHINE?????? Seriously?

Granted most of his coonish numbers were from earlier albums, so maybe he didn’t know any better and was just singing Pops’ songs to be singing them. So, I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt but I still don’t know when I’ll be visiting his Mother-in-Law.

I just LOVE LIVE MUSIC and am a glorified GROUPIE at heart, but I’m A.J.’s wife so I can’t be sneaking in the tour bus or limousine or nothing like that no more. LOL

It’s all about the music now.

I can’t even get A PRESS PASS! :/

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