بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I GUESS YOU WONDER WHERE I’VE BEEN……….
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Category: A.J.
SWAGGER 4 DAZE
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
You’ve Got Swagger For Dayz
It manifests itself in SO MANY WAYZ
From The CROWN Of Your Fedora
To The STAR On Your Chucks
From the Free-Throw Line to Three-Point-Land
You’ve Got NOTHING BUT GOOD LUCK
SO FINE
WORDS CAN’T DESCRIBE
But given time,
I can make a rhyme…. 😉
Like Dapper….
Debonair….
Good Looks/Luck And Talent To Spare
Cooler Than My Homemade Honey Ice Cream
The Man of ALL MY DREAMS
The ONE Every Girl Prays For…….
But There Can ONLY BE ONE KING
And He’s Mine Forever and In All Ways
And He’s Got Swagger For Daze…..
CHAPTER 9 – “THE TALK”
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
So anyway, My hubby didn’t have enough money to catch the bus, then again maybe he did but just wanted to hold my hand and show me stuff like he used to do in fourth grade.
I knew he played tennis, but I was intimidated by this one girl when he took me to the courts on campus. And, I had never been to the park where he plays. So, I’ve yet to see him play. 
I had these cute tennis dresses from the Seventies when I was in college, so I took a tennis class. So, I could learn how to play with my Habibi ❤ ❤ ❤ I always took some type of physical education class throughout my school years (aerobics, weight training, tennis, etc. I’ve always been athletic. I even taught an aerobics class. “Disco-Cardio” LOL #donna ❤ ❤ ❤ )
But my tennis instructor was this devil and she was hating on me. She would never let us play! All we did was learn how to keep score. Who cares about the score?? Do you see this dress?? 😉
I did manage to learn how to serve which is the best part. Venus and Serena know how to do it! #gottagrunt 😉 ❤ ❤ ❤
Sometimes I call myself, SABRINA, it’s based on an Arabic word that I need much more of: SABR. (Patience) It makes me feel like a “Williams” SISTER too. 😉
Sometimes I call myself, SERENA too. That’s based on a Latin word for Siren (a female singer that lives in the ocean, whose melody signals “that which is certain.” 😥 )
In case you haven’t noticed, I have an intense interest in languages. Sometimes I go through psychotic issues wherein it is difficult for me to express myself. I might not speak at all. So, I have always been interested in languages. It helps. Particularly American Sign Language (ASL).
Body Language speaks more truthfully than spoken language. (You know what they say…… 😉 ) I took a Psychology class in college and we learned about that. It’s very interesting. Notice how a person positions themselves when they are sitting down talking to you. Are they facing you with rapt attention? Or are they turned away? Body Language tells you how a person really feels.
Anyway, I don’t care about the score, I just want to hit the ball back and forth with my husband. Me and Hakim used to play at Ted Watkins. That was fun!!!!!!! I had on my garments too!
(I have a picture of me running in my garments, but facebook doesn’t allow you to search pictures and I have like 725 photos to go through. 🙂 )
You don’t have to wear skimpy garments to work out, Sisters. In fact, you should not, unless, you are somewhere private. I also wouldn’t recommend participating in Zumba classes where men are present.
Anyway, while we were walking down La Cienega, My Habibi ❤ ❤ ❤ pointed out a store called “THE MERCHANT OF TENNIS.” I never forgot that. Probably because of the play on the Shakesperean play. (pun intended 😉 )
The building is still there.
CHAPTER EIGHT – “THE LOVE SEAT”
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
(Hey ‘Nita 😉 )
So, my parents used to go on vacation every Summer. They would take my little brother, but never me. Probably just to make me feel left out. BITCHES.
So, my sister was in college and I had the house pretty much to myself. Which was cool with me.
My “Best Friends” (They had a rap group which they let me join – “FINESSE” – That’s tight, huh? Sounds French 😉 Hey Habibi ❤ Two of us made a demo, but fought over the tape with our manager and nothing ever became of it. Hey J, E, all we had to do was make copies. Duh. )
Anyway, they worked at Sbarro’s in The Beverly Center, so naturally, I started working there too.
(Greatest Human Beat Box Of All Time #5thelement #RIP)
LET’S KEEP IT REAL http://seventhfam.com/temple/books/eattolive_two/eat2index.htm
Both of my groupmates were from the East Coast, where Hip-Hop originated, but one was from NYC and she could freestyle. She would battle the boys AND WIN! I was über impressed.
To give you another example of her skill. We would be at work reciting the lyrics to “Romeo” or some other contemporary rap, and she would go and help a customer and come back and still be in the right part of the song! Her last name was Best. And she was the.
We used to practice and it was hella fun writing rhymes. I hated my rap name though. It had “Lady” in it. I’m not going to say it. #hatedit
Anyway, the first and only rap I ever wrote for just myself was about my Habibi. I gave him a copy but lost mine. I remember the first line, “I Know this Cold-Crush guy. His name’s A.J…..” I talked about how he was “debonair” and all that. But you’ll have to ask him the rest.
So, one day, when my parents were out of town and I had a job at Sbarro’s (Suh-BAR-rows), me and my Hubby were sitting on the Love Seat, listening to Stephanie Mills “feel good all over.” I hated that song too.
People used to talk bad about me. For instance, I used to wear braids and one time I really needed to take them out. I was maybe fourteen and still dependent on my mother for that type of thing. It never occurred to me to just take them out. Probably because I would be stuck with the dilemma, all Black women who are trying to be white, are stuck with. How to straighten my hair.
But my Hubby makes me feel good all over. Whereas other men I dated (or married ) made me feel self-conscious and “less than,” my Hubby made me feel good about everything about my natural self.
He made it okay to have kinky hair. So, now I feel like I’m beautiful, with my front tooth turning black. LOL (Stay OUT the dentists’ chair. He fucked me up.) It’s what’s on the inside that counts. But try telling that to these Brothers hawking and gawking……
I dated a man for almost fifteen years who made me feel like horseshit. He would say, “There’s only five pounds between fat and fine.” And here I am weighing 125 – the perfect weight for a woman according to Allah (God) – feeling inadequate because of this abusive man.
I had always had high self-esteem in the professional, physical and intellectual fields, but when it came to LOVE, I was terribly insecure. I took abuse and it never occurred to me there was something better.
I never noticed I was being abused until I accepted ISLAM. Then, and only then, I realized what TRUE LOVE IS…… And that I had once had it……..
So, I’m with my Habibi, feeling good all over and it’s the BEST feeling I’ve ever felt, I just wasn’t aware of it. But, I knew I didn’t want the magic to end, so when the time came for me to go to work, I had an attitude. And my mother used to always fuss at me when I got an attitude about something. “Stop poking your lip out!” I didn’t even know I was doing it.
But my Habibi, would just make me laugh and everything was alright with the world again. Next thing I know, we’re walking down La Cienega on our way to the Mall. But I wished we were on our way walking back home……
#sooncome
CHAPTER SEVEN – “THE STAIRS”
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
So, after graduation from Pasteur, which was horrible because my mom wouldn’t let me celebrate with my friends, who were allegedly with N.E., if I remember correctly.
I had to go out to dinner with “them.” (My family) I cried. I hated/hate my mother.
I wrote that in my diary B.I.T.D. and my father read it and left her. I hate him too. I almost wish they had never hooked up.
I am the result of the only pregnancy they planned, so something of good came out of them. Allah is THE BEST PLANNER.
Anyway, I was also upset because ALL of my friends were going to Hamilton High. That’s where I wanted to go soooooooooooo badly. 😥 But I had to go to L.A. I didn’t know ANYBODY who was going there. 😥
But on the first day, I saw some familiar faces.
One of these faces, was this Sister who was in the same Fourth Grade class with me and my Habibi ❤ at Trinity.
We were walking near the rear gate at my school and I saw a Brother. I don’t know what it was about him, but I was immediately intrigued.
I asked Stephanie something I have NEVER asked about any Brother before or since, “WHO IS THAT?“
She casually replied, “Oh, THAT’S A.J.“
I couldn’t believe I didn’t recognize my Honey-Stick! But, I was thinking, “A.J.!?! Hmmph! He Must Think He’s All That.” At Trinity, he was Jamal. I guess he grew up and got cool.
Anyway, we hooked up, of course and became inseparable once more.
We understand each other like other people will NEVER understand us. When our classmates ripped us apart they called us “LOONEY TUNES” We both love music. I don’t know about the Looney. But, probably to them.
We enjoy things that, it seemed, only certain people (certainly, no one we knew) enjoy together. He gets me and I understand him better than anyone else. I LOVE YOU, HABIBI! ❤ ❤ ❤ 😀
When other people made fun of us individually, we had each other. They used to try and belittle him, in front of me all the time (still do) in a useless attempt to make me stop LOVING HIM. Crumbs. NEVER. GONNA. HAPPEN.
Years later, one night at the club, he was standing near me and my so-called friends. This one was cracking on his suit so badly. I felt sorry for him. But he just acted like he didn’t even hear her. He was just watching the dance group working it out on stage. ( “THE ❤ POSSE” ) So, everybody’s watching the group and my “friend” is continually talking about my Honey-Stick, when next thing we know, he leaps onto the stage, which had to be at least four feet high and finishes the routine with the group – THE STAR OF THE SHOW!!!
(PISSED – NO RAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)
(W T F WERE YOU THINKING???!!!!!!!!)
EVERYBODY WAS DUMBSTRUCK, ESPECIALLY MY “FRIEND.” I don’t see how you can still befriend her, Habibi. I blocked her a long time ago. But, I have never been more awestruck in my life! I wouldn’t have believed it if I wasn’t there!
He is a little older than I am. That’s really no excuse. I never knew that Brothers could be hurt from love. That’s no excuse. It’s true. But it’s no excuse, Sir.
I was fourteen in September, 1985. Only six (6) years after we first met. Seems like much longer. But there we were meeting again for the second time. He was “A.J.” now.
When you’re a teenager, you don’t really take the time to analyze things. Things just happen. You don’t think about why and what could be the result.
I had a journal, of course. I had kept one since I met him and our teacher (Mrs. Bacon, can you believe that? I was shocked to learn there was a Mr. Bacon too) introduced us to composition books. I think I’ve owned one ever since. I have a chartreuse one now. 😀
I hate when people tell me “No.” or “You’re not supposed to” or “You can’t do” something. I think a little bit more than ordinary people. So, I’m a rebel with a cause but without a pause.
I remember, one day we were on the stairs in this corner of the school that nobody uses.
I didn’t even know they were there. So we could isolate and listen to this little red radio we got from one of my “friends.”
Music has always been a part of our lives. In fourth grade I would write down the lyrics (I don’t know if I used to print them or write in cursive. I guess after I learned how to write in cursive I wrote them in cursive 😀 ) to the Love Songs we had the sheet music to.
I stared taking piano lessons when I was seven (7) but my mom would allow us to go to the music store and buy sheet music for R&B songs as an alternative to the classical. If I had had the notion I would have bought some Ellington.
I saw some of his sheet music for the first time about a month ago and it blew my mind! I didn’t want to stop playing. I had never seen any music written like that in my life. #nowimonamission 😀
So, we were on the stairs (supposed to be in class 😉 I don’t know why everything that’s supposed to be wrong is so RIGHT when we’re together. EVERYTHING!) listening to Patti and Michael. I HATED that song! Now, I know why. Interracial relationships are shameful!
I’m pretty sure this was after I allowed him to be the first man to kiss me. So, there was probably some making out on those stairs. But I had never been more at ease. My Habibi just makes everything right and exact.
So, when this teacher came ambling down the hall towards us, we didn’t even pay him any attention, I didn’t anyway. Until he said those dreaded three words:
“Go To Class.”
CLOSE TO YOU
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
I JUST WANT TO GET IN YOUR PROXIMITY
Clear my Head
Think of You Instead
It’s Been So Long
But I Still See Your
BEAUTIFUL GRIN
STILL FEEL MY CHEEK
NEXT TO YOUR CHEST
LIKE NOTHING ELSE
I’VE EVER FELT
BEING NEAR YOU
IS LIKE MY DREAM
COME TRUE
❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤
* Check out Satchmo’s socks 😀 #gottaloveit!
HIP-HOP IN THE GREAT DAY OF SEPARATION
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
As-Salaam-Alaikum Beautiful and Beloved Black Planet
Yesterday De La Soul had a show. I didn’t go because their opening act was a devil. Or the dj or whatever. I hope it wasn’t the dj. Prince Paul was dope. But that b.s. in the beginning of this video is not cool. Maybe I just don’t get it. Hopefully. He let me (or rather, my employee 😉 ) interview him for my show though. Thanks P. 🙂 btw It’s not the same old water anymore…..
Anyway, I didn’t go. Devils are trying their best to get us to go to hell with them. And they are using any means at their disposal to do it.
We like hip-hop, so they use hip-hop artists to draw us in and get us to be among them. They want us to think it’s okay, even though this is The Great Day of Separation. I know the game. And I’m telling you, don’t get caught up in their hype. They are Devils and they are evil. STAY AWAY FROM THEM AT ALL COSTS.
Their time is up and they know it. But they were put here to deceive us. Read the Revelation [Bible] wherein they are described as “THE ARCHDECEIVERS.” They are trying to make us think we can all get along and live together when they know if we intermingle with them, we are committing suicide.
Ya Siin Bey had a show in dtla I didn’t go to either because the devils convinced him to use his other name on the flyer, even though his picture was on it!!!
(This wasn’t the show, but the flyer was the same.)
I KNOW that was a source of contention for him, but he did it anyway! NOT A GOOD LOOK, AKHI.
It’s just that serious, Brothers and Sisters. This De La show was FREE!
That should give you a clearer picture of how sneaky devils are! Don’t go anywhere white people are. I know you work with them. But don’t socialize with them. Stay with your own.
To my Black People in positions of authority: their money and offers of leadership (good jobs/power) are not worth your soul or the destruction of your Nation!
STAY WITH YOUR OWN.
FILTHY BROTHERS
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
As-Salaam-Alaikum Dearly Beloved Sisters!
This filthy Brother once had the audacity to say to me,
“I can still see your shape regardless of how much clothes you wear.”
Can you believe that? Filthy. Don’t listen to such affronts, Sisters.
He just wanted me to change my style of dress.
I’ve gotten that before though. This one “conscious” (SMH) Brother tried to argue me down about how, “In the “Motherland” (Africa) our ancestors used to go naked.”
I told him, “Those were the ones who had strayed away from CIVILIZATION and are living a JUNGLE life.“
I told him, “The first step in CIVILIZING A SAVAGE is to teach him/her to cover his/her nakedness, Brother.”
He still wanted to argue, but I knew he just wanted to get me to show my nakedness or my form.
You have to know when to walk away. Have you ever had a debate with a five-year-old? It’s like trying to discuss Al Gebra with someone who has yet to learn the Al Fabet. (Both came from us [Black People] / Arabic)
I’m sorry Habibi ❤ , remember when I was going through that thing about how you spell your name – how it’s not transliterally correct? I posted this then, Habibi. Sorry. I Love you ❤ ❤ ❤
GOLDDIGGER OR STANDARDS
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
AS-SALAAMU’ ALAIKUM BEAUTIFUL & BELOVED ASIATIC BLACK SISTERS & BROTHERS
THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A “GOLDDIGGER” AND A SISTER WITH HIGH STANDARDS.
I have turned down at least three millionaires. A “Golddigger” would not have.
The first thing on my list of prerequisites for a husband is RIGHTEOUSNESS. THEN the capability to SUPPORT A FAMILY. That’s all.
You don’t have to be rich and if you are let’s sign a prenup! It’s not about the Benjamins.
Food, Clothes & Shelter are all we need and even that’s secondary.
If YOU are not RIGHT none of that matters.
You have to make me smile.
Put me at ease and I CAN’T be at ease if everything is not right with you, Brotherman.
Put me at ease; and then, you can feed, clothe and shelter me.
If I’m not comfortable around you; you can keep it ALL.
I have to be content. Peace Of Mind is PARAMOUNT.
Now, I’m just saying, in general, of course you know, I’m married already. (Hey, Habibi 😀 ❤ ❤ ❤ ) I’m just saying, for you Good Brothers out there who want a woman like me (the women who read my blog), we’ve raised our standards. So, that means you’ve got to step up to meet them. That is, if you want one of us.
AND YOU KNOW YOU DO. 😉 YOU CREATED US FOR YOURSELF!!! Don’t give up on us because we may not be there nor because we may have standards you think you cannot reach. The CREATION can NEVER be better than the CREATOR. So, we can’t be better than you are. YOU CREATED US!!!!!!
Black Sisters and Brothers, Remember that. The Blackman is the Leader of Our Nation. So, Black Brother, don’t be intimidated by a woman who has Knowledge of Self, even if she may have a little more than you have. When you meet one, PRAY AND ASK ALLAH IF SHE IS THE WOMAN FOR YOU. We were CREATED for you, so you know there’s one of us out here waiting to carry your name. But don’t let it be a slave name. (Search “A Good Name Is Better Than Gold”)
If you choose other than one of us, you are lowering your standards and not fulfilling your responsibility to YOURSELF AND TO OUR NATION. The same goes for you Sisters.
WE ARE THE BEST BY NATURE. WE ARE THE BEST NATION ON EARTH. WE ARE THE ONLY NATION ON EARTH.
Everybody else was MADE from us. WE ARE THE ONLY CREATED PEOPLE ON EARTH. They can trace their beginning back to us. And there will be an end to them. There is no beginning nor end for the Black Nation. Which is why we are not a “race.”
They are racing. We are not. We will be here Forever. They will not. Which is why they are considered a race. They are “racing” to do as much damage as they can before the end of their time. And it is here. If you marry one of them, Black Sister or Brother, you will go with them to their doom.
We are living in The Time of The Great Day of Separation. EVERY WOMAN OR MAN MUST GO TO HIS OR HER OWN.
YOU CANNOT BRING A MEMBER FROM A “race” INTO OUR BLACK NATION. YOU WILL HAVE TO GO ALONG WITH THEM.
Blackman, requalify yourself for us. Read MESSAGE TO THE BLACKMAN IN AMERICA. YOU WILL FIND IT ON THE HOMEPAGE.
NOONE ELSE is going to LOVE you like we do. They (the races) all want you, just like they all want us. but BLACK IS THE BEST. WE WERE CREATED FOR EACH OTHER.
THE GRAFTED IS NEVER AS GOOD AS THE ORIGINAL.
The races were MADE from the CREATED BLACK NATION.
Take the horse and the donkey.
The mule is not as good as either.
Take the lemon and the orange.
The grapefruit is neither as good.
The ORIGINAL is ALWAYS the BEST.
OUR BLACK NATION is Resurrecting Back into the Knowledge of Self, and once you know yourself, who you are, you KNOW that you are THE BEST and you will NEVER SETTLE for anything less than the VERY BEST – Your Own Kind. If you do, then you don’t really KNOW YOURSELF.
CHAPTER SIX – MORE FROM LOUIS PASTEUR
بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Okay, first let me say that the proper pronunciation is “looWEE pastYUUR“. God it? Good! Let’s carry on.
At Pasteur, I wrote my first secular song, with my other clique. I still remember all the words. Anybody with a video on your phone, I would be very pleased if you record me singing my song, si vous plait. 😀 Then again….. it was secular……
Also, there was this little Brother, (My A.J.’s doppel) who could break and the only time I remember being late to class, was because I was watching him dance. He had his cardboard and everything. Me and my homegurl, Kim, would look for him during Nutrition. Fifteen minutes is not nearly long enough. We had just found him, it seemed, when the bell rang. Homeschool.
“past-YUUR”
SHELLTOES
PUMAS
FAT LACES (PLAID)
HOODIES WITH YOUR NICK-NAME ON THE BACK
(OLD ENGLISH LETTERS, OF COURSE)
STARTER JACKETS
MEMBER’S ONLYs
JELLIES
JORDACHE
POLO SHIRTS
(BUTTONED ALL THE WAY UP
w/a gold chain, of course)
PENNY LOAFERS
(w/a quarter in them 😉 )
BOAT SHOES
(WE WERE PREPPY B.I.T.D., HUH?)
(Substitute chinos/khakis for the jeans and you would have how I dressed my son – when he wasn’t in suits Allahu Akbar!)
GOLF HATS
CATCHING THE 108 TO THE FOX HILLS MALL
PIRATES BASEBALL CAPS
FARRAH FAWCETT FLIPS
PULLED BACK W/THE LITTLE COMB
ON THE SIDE 😉
“I WENT DOWNTOWN
TO SEE JAMES BROWN…..”
(DOUBLE DUTCH)
“HEY, MR. BE”
(Billy Eckstine 😉 )
MIXING FROM OFF THE RADIO
(WITH THE DUAL CASSETTE LOL)
“FRIENDS……”
I HAVE TWO.
ALLAH & MY HABIBI
❤ ❤ ❤
GREG MACK (K-DAY) IS ON THE WAVE NOW
?
WHO KNEW HERBIE HANCOCK (ROCKIT)
WAS A FAMOUS JAZZ MUSICIAN???
WHO KNEW GEORGE CLINTON (ATOMIC DOG)
WAS THE GODFATHER OF FUNK???
FIELD TRIPS TO THE CONVENTION CENTER MUSEUMS
DOUBLE FEATURES AT THE “HARTHON” MALL
LOL
(SO G.H.E.T.T.O.)
But I saw “Breakin'” there! AND “The Last Dragon”
(Hey ‘Chelle 😉 )
(Sho NUFF!!!)
BUYING 45s FROM THE WEREHOUSE
(and hanging all the covers and 12″ singles on the wall)
THUGS ON WHEELS
(mad cause I couldn’t go)
CRYING BECAUSE I COULDN’T FIND MY MUSIC CLASS
(Music classes are ALWAYS in the Boondocks. I know why though; DTP)
LEARNING THAT KICKING A BOY IN THE YOU-KNOW-WHATS WILL GET HIM TO STEP OFF
(Heeeey, T-Ski 🙂 Sorry, Homie, but you know how it iz. ❤ ❤ ❤ Glad to see you procreated. Homeboy! )
GETTING TO SCHOOL EARLY
WITH MY HALL MONITOR SWEATER
( I LOOOOVED That Sweater!
It had the Pasteur logo
w/the PANTHER
Even in Jr. High, before I had ever heard of the Panthers….
Born with the RIGHT Material…..)
RIDING MY BIKE TO SCHOOL DOWN
WASHINGTON
(Heeyyyyy, Habibi ❤ ❤ ❤ 😀 )
W/MY EYES CLOSED
AND ALMOST GETTING STOPPED BY THE PIGS
SMH
Homemaking For The Black Muslim Woman Journal ™ 