As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beautiful and Beloved Sisters!
I don’t know if this is you, Sisters, but I have always liked Brothers. Even when I was little, I used to like to hang around boys. I mean, They are just so cool! But, I have noticed (now that I have a son) that whenever a female joins a group of Brothers, the energy changes. The Brothers change. They can’t just be “Brothers.”
Sisters, seeing a group of Brothers socializing, laughing, joking and enjoying each other’s company, is very enticing. You may want to join in and participate in their camaraderie. Unfortunately, this is impossible. By being a female, it is physically impossible for you to join a group of males and expect the atmosphere to remain unchanged. Your very presence causes the Brothers, who were previously so comfortable and relaxed with each other, to switch to an air of impressiveness.
This may have two effects. They will begin to compete with each other for your attention and you will either a.) become flattered and bask in the attention or b.) become frustrated because you just wanted to be a part of their experience.
Either way, you should remove yourself from the group. You should have never intruded in their fellowshipping, unless one of them invited you to join them. And even then you should not stay. Find out the reason for your invitation, attend to it and dismiss yourself.
The Honorable Elijah Muhammad (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah Forever Be Upon Him) taught us that the Blackman has “more powerful brains” than the Blackwoman because “He was made to rule.”
We, Sisters, need to learn how to let our men socialize, exchange ideas, and enjoy each other’s company, without our presence. We are helpmates and should seek out the company of our Sisters and talk about the things that pertain to women and will exhort us to becoming better helpmates to our Blackmen, i.e. cooking, sewing, rearing children, &c. This will reinforce our respective roles.
The Brothers can exchange ideas and formulate plans that will ultimately improve all of our lives, all while strengthening the ties of Brotherhood. And we will do the same for ourselves as Sisters. We can talk freely amongst each other without the feelings of attraction and distraction that are unavoidable between opposite sexes.
The sexes should not intermingle. It opens the doors of indecency and disrespect. Married Sisters, when your husband entertains, busy yourself with some housework or attending to your children. If you would like to offer them some sort of refreshment, have your son deliver it to them. You should only make your presence known if your husband requests it. Conceal your beauty.
Sisters, none of us should ever be in the presence of men unless invited there by a responsible individual.