Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

It’s funny, I never thought I would look at homemaking as not being enough for me.

But when you say “housewife” it sounds different.

I’ve always said I was a Homemaker because I wasn’t a housewife.

I always thought I did the same things though.

I think housewife is like a homemaker but you have a boss (your husband)

That makes it more difficult.

You have somebody to answer to whereas before I could do what I wanted when I wanted as long as it got done.

Homemaking/Housewifing is like a career. It takes up all your time.

I was just free to blog because I didn’t have a husband to look after. I guess the blog took up that space in my life.

So earlier when I realized I won’t be writing this blog once I get married, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is my career.

And all I ever talk about is how women need to give up their careers when they get married and focus on their husband and his clothes and food and house and children, but when it comes to actually DOING it it’s a whole different story.

I never realized it but this blog is my LIFE!

Ask my son.

Once I started, maybe it started with facebook. But I know I started spending a lot of time on the computer whereas before I didn’t.

I let the children influence me. THEY were always on the phone so I thought that was the thing to do.

So, I started finding stuff to do online.

Myspace not so much.

However, once I asked my daughter if she knew how to get in touch with me in case of an emergency and she said, “Myspace?” So maybe I was on it more than I realize.

My roommate is going to be 76 next month and her days consist of sitting in a chair, eating, using the bathroom and answering the door when one of us comes home. Nobody has a key and I think that’s why. Our landlord wants to give her something to do.

But that’s how I think my days will be if I stop blogging.

Twiddling my thumbs.

I see how Zawji is doing it. We’re speeding up though.

He got me off fliers just about a month ago. It was All-Star Weekend. It was a couple days before the game and I think the game was on the 18th, if I’m not mistaken. I can G it but it’s not that serious.

Point is, he’s speeding up.

Today is the 28th. Wow! I haven’t been to sleep but it’s just after twelve, so I can’t even say it’s the 27th. See what I’m sayin’?

One month and twelve days since I stopped spreading the blog.

Now I’m getting ready to stop blogging altogether.

I think he wants me to stop for awhile before we get together to get used to it.

He took my fliers before I knew I was ready.

I, virtually, had stopped making them and wasn’t really handing them out anyway.

I was just making them to practice writing with my right hand and was about to start back passing them out and accidentally left them on a bench, I think.

Benches are very significant to me and Zawji.

We walk alot and go to parks and there are always benches.

We have always sat on benches.

He has a bench swing in his downtown loft which is perfect for us.

You know how I love to swing and a bench would seat both of us together.

I can’t wait.

This house he wanted to give me had a bench in the backyard. But the swing is better.

But anyway, I accidentally, left the bag of fliers on the bench. I think.

And haven’t made another one since.

As much as I talk about homemaking, I never knew I was a career woman.

Until I was thinking about actually stopping blogging.

Then the word Career popped into my mind and Giving it up too

And it hit me really hard.

I’m changing directions.

I think about the two Angels who rented me this place.

She just came out to meet me and convince me to take it

BUT he does all the work.

I think about helping other women.

Sometimes it takes a woman to help a woman.

We can have been really abused by men and are skeptical of their help so Allah sends us female Angels to do the job of raising up us into Angels to marry an Angel.

I know I have raised some women into Angels with this blog

AND

I

REALLY

THINK

MY

WORK

IS

DONE

.

So, I’m going to try and make this my last blog, Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black People.

You know how my life is though. I said I’m going to TRY.

See how it feels to not have a blog anymore.

I mean it’s still mine technically.

I might even still pay to keep the ads off for awhile.

Maybe I’ll nah, that’s too much like a career.

I was going to say publish it into a hardcopy but that’s work and the point is to give up working and focus on Zawji completely.

So, if this and I think it is, my last blog,

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. I’m sorry you won’t be privy to the affairs of my life anymore. Just know that I married Zawji and we lived happily ever after.

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

This was the song everybody who thought they could sing would sing back in the day LOL

Twelve-years-old singing about lost love. SMH

Foreshadowing though. I learned about that when I was twelve too.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Anyway, I just had a dream that was a Matrix. It was real. Zawji fixed it so I didn’t die.

I saw Ivan on the train (always traveling). He had a girlfriend. She tried to give him her Day Pass but the jerk train driver was hating like the ones out here. I will never understand why they are such jerks especially considering how much money these tourists pay to ride the streetcar. That St. Charles is always so packed, I rather take the bus. Those tourists pay enough so that every local should be able to ride free but the drivers are such jerks, they will stop the bus/train until you get off if you are a penny short. I can only narrow it down to the fact that Southern Blacks are just in love with the slavemaster. *sigh*

Anyway, he paid and got on and knew everybody on the train. We were all into music in some way or another. I asked him how was his father although I’ve never met his father. I just know he’s a Junior and that Ivan, Sr. is a musician.

Hey, I have a cousin who named her son Ivan and he is a Junior!

So, the train is going and it’s supposed to be somewhere near the Fox Hills Mall or whatever they changed the name to, and as we near I notice there is a construction truck out of control near the train tracks. So the train driver starts going fast trying to get past the out of control truck while it was out of the way but the truck had messed up the track already and I found out later we crashed and I died, but Zawji changed the Matrix so that it just skipped and everybody was off the train and I started running up the hill to get away from the out of control truck. And everybody who was previously watching the out-of-control truck decided to do like me and run for their own lives. I guess they never considered the truck could come their way.

I took off my backpack so that I could run faster.

I didn’t even worry about it. Sacrifice.

Sometimes people carry bags to symbolize people they’re not with. This bag was white and blue and I guess symbolized Zawji. That’s why I wasn’t worried about it because it was supposed to be Black.

I always carry a Black bag. I think that’s a little Bohemian in me…

So, I didn’t die.

But I got visited by two female Angels in real life.

Some wicked old witch told me Angels can’t be females.

But we have to have female Angels. Otherwise, who are the male Angels going to marry???

One of the Angels told me to “Keep the Faith” and that I am a Beautiful Person.

I didn’t really pay attention to the Beautiful Person part right away. It’s hard to accept compliments sometimes. But Brother Bill said if you are going to be famous you have to be able to accept a lot of compliments or something like that.

So the Second Angel told me to “STAY STRONG”

Zawji and I came really close to getting together in this dream but I messed up as usual.

WE have to be one hundred per cent Right and Exact. So, the Angels advice really came in handy.

I was at somebody’s house oh, my friend who doesn’t have any children in real life, had a baby and the baby was in a terrible condition. She wanted to wash her face and my friend was too lazy to wash the baby’s face. Wait a minute, that was another dream.

This dream I was at a party and all the people from the train were there but my Best Friend Erika was there too and Bill Nunn, but he was Zawji’s Best Friend in the dream, which is crazy because Brother Bill is dead in real life but in the dream, no it wasn’t Bill Nunn it was one of his Doppelgangers, I think. But anyway, he was young like Radio Rahim and he was Zawji’s Best Friends.

WE were at some type of radio station and there was music everywhere. There were some homosexuals there too though. They were sickening. Jamie Foxx had a show and I told him to play California Here I Come by Ray Charles. He played it.

So, the homosexuals messed it up for me.

There was some type of movie playing but it was like we were in it even though it was about a white family on some deserted vacation beach.

So anyway, they showed me I messed up using my friend Tracy Jones (yes, the actress – maybe that’s why they used her LOL). I ended up getting distracted by another man, right when Zawji was going to surprise and propose to me.

So, we’ve got to try again.

I decided to just stay where I am.

I mean, I’m always so quick to run from a situation. I’m trying to learn how to just wait on Zawji. I’m so used to doing everything and making stuff happen.

I run when I don’t have anything else to do. My son didn’t call me Impatientifah for nothing. But I think I’m just going to stay put for once.

That means I can’t buy my son his Alligator stuff. Not yet anyway. Whenever I get too much money I start buying clothes. But this time I’m going to pay rent and try and keep a roof over my head.

This is supposed to be a fresh start for me so I’ve got to keep going. I am going to try to keep going forward and not backwards (homeless)

Progress

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

Oh My God.

Why did I finally go see the spot the lady was trying to rent to me and got totally freaked out.

Okay, when I got there I wasn’t sure how to get in so I called her and asked her to come to the door (wherever it was).

So, I see the screen door on the side of the house open behind the wooden gate and went nearer to it so I could be let in.

Why did this old freak open the wooden gate and all she had on was a short pink bathrobe???

I was like, “This how ya’ll do in Brazil?“

She was like, (in a thick Portuguese accent) “Well, I was home and I wasn’t doing nothing so I didn’t see any need to get dressed.“

I’m thinking, Even though we just arranged for me to come see your spot?

Old Freak

So, that’s the main reason I’m not taking it but let me show you what it was like

She had birds, fish and two dogs.

Now, I like animals too but there’s a place for them.

My accommodations were just like in the video. Very dirty.

The floor was shiny and smooth cement. I was pretty but not cozy like a home is supposed to be. It was more like a community center floor.

When she said it was a garage, she wasn’t kidding. But I was thinking a clean garage. She had stuff EVERYWHERE, kids bikes, Christmas decorations and all kinds of stuff EVERYWHERE. It was filthy. I couldn’t believe she was actually renting it out. $300 is expensive for something like that but it’s New Orleans. Everywhere in New Orleans is overpriced.

I know I told you already the houses in New Orleans are built so that you have to go through everybody’s room to get to the kitchen and the bathroom, so I would have had to go through this little old lady freak’s room to go take a shower and cook.

Granted there was a powder room but I already told you how religious it is for me to make ablutions.

THEN when she was showing me the room, she said that the bed was really soft and comfortable so I went and tested it with my hand first, then sat down.

Why did this little old freak come and sit down next to me on the bed???

Now, I’m from the society of TRAVELERS where everybody has been to jail and that is something you just do not do!!!

I got the hell out of there after that.

Remember I said it would have to be pretty bad for me to say no because I’ve slept in a horse stable.

The only thing better about this place was that it had plumbing.

But plumbing isn’t everything.

I would rather be homeless than live in that type of wicked environment.

And she has grandchildren!!! SMH

So, I don’t’ remember where I was going last time I wrote, but it looks like California Here I Come