Category: MY MEMOIRS

24 Little Hours

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved And Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

I had a wonderful day yesterday and I pray you all had just as wonderful a day as I did. It started out wonderful and ended even more wonderful!

You know how I missed the Sunrise, right? Well after I left “The Club” (I call it the “Club” now instead of the Center because I overheard the receptionist on the phone talking to potential new members and she was telling them that we aren’t accepting any new members until next month. Which made me feel like I was part of an exclusive club that only a certain privileged few were allowed to enter. 

Nevermind that they don’t really help you find housing and after they get you on their list [which I know they give over to donors], you’re pretty much on your own. But, I am extremely grateful for all of the resources available to me. And consider myself very lucky to have a place like this to spend my time. Allahu Akbar!)

… I went straight to the beach. I went down the Promenade just to see what was cracking. I like to ride up the Promenade and ride down the beach. I stopped at this spot where the founder of Santa Monica used to sit every day and watch the Sunset.

I think it is the nicest point of view to see the Sunset and yesterday was exceptionally beautiful. There is a monument to him where you can sit without being observed by all the passers-by. I had passed by the spot scores of times before I ever noticed it.

I took so many pictures yesterday because I thought it couldn’t get any better but it stayed and kept getting more beautiful until the sky was gray and the color from the Sun was completely gone from the sky.

It lasted much longer than the actual Sunset.

It was so beautiful that I didn’t mind all of the people who came and crowded my spot to witness the wonder of Allah’s Creation.

I have an uncanny talent for finding “the spot.” I find a spot that no one is paying attention to and within five minutes it’s swarming with people. Depending on my mood, I may get annoyed and go find another spot, or I may just take it all in stride and offer to take pictures of people so they can all be in the photo. 😉

I made a video too. It’s uploading onto YouTube. I’ve decided to go back to an old way I had of uploading videos since I don’t have my laptop anymore. It just takes forever. So whenever it’s finished, I’ll try to catch up and add the many videos I’ve taken to enhance your reading, In sha Allah.

OMG! Why when I was on the Promenade I decided to look into Champs for “old times sake?” There used to be a “Champs” in the Beverly Center when me and Beaux used to work there and I seem to recall buying all of our kicks from there.

Anyway, there is a store right next door to Champs that I’ve always admired the outfits in the display window but never went inside. I felt like I wasn’t supposed to because the outfits are rather revealing.

So, I went into Champs first and they have the best selection of cute tennis shoes than any other the other athletic gear stores I’ve been in (Adidas, Converse and Foot Locker). I haven’t been in the Nike store or Foot Action yet. But Champs is cool because you can get any brand there and their selection of cute shoes was the best.

But I had never seen a $200.00 pair of tennis shoes before. I have expensive tastes and the shoe I picked up was $200.00. It was the same style I had seen at the Adidas store but I wasn’t looking at prices back then. At Champs, you can’t miss the price tag. It’s right there, like BAM! LOL

So, after I left Champs, I was drawn into the store next door. I kind of don’t want to tell you the name because the clothes in that store were so slutty. But I LOVED it! LOL

I mean, when you’re married, why you can’t dress like a slut at home for your Zawji’s eyes only? For real though?

Those clothes were so cute! But every time I pulled an outfit out to get a better look, it was always slit on the side, or the midriff was missing or something equally as slutty. I was embarrassed every time! LOL But I couldn’t stop looking. SMH

I couldn’t believe somebody actually designed and made those clothes to be sold and for someone to BUY!!!

It wasn’t long before I found the cutest outfit in the entire store, but I didn’t have anything else to do so I kept looking.

I made a joke with the salesgirl after finding a green and white short in the front, long in the back dress that she was returning to the stock. I said, you can buy it and wear to church on Easter. LOL

You know those women in churches dress like thots. Not so at the Temple of Islam. We will give you something to cover up with. You won’t be sitting in front of our Minister trying to tempt him and disgracing the True House of Allah (God).

Then some sequins caught my eye. And I like sequins so I pulled it out and why was it a purple, gold and green dress. I immediately thought Mardi Gras and had to take a picture.

I did even better and went Live on Facebook. Let me see if I can post the video or a link. BRB

Gotta click “Watch on Facebook” if you want to see the dress.

So, after I had looked at all the slutty clothes, I went back to the best outfit in the whole store (it reminded me of Forever 21 but sluttier LOL) and I thought, “You’re not going to buy it, but why not try it on??? Hee hee hee”

So, I’ve learned that alot of times, clothes can look cute on the hanger but it’s a totally different story when you actually put it on, and vice versa.

There used to be this company of male designers in Leimert and one time I was at their headquarters and this Brother showed me this dress. It looked like a big denim sock with the foot cut out. LOL And I was like, Ewww, this thing is ugly. But he convinced me to put it on and it looked so good. It was stretch denim and hugged every little curve I had back then. LOL I didn’t show him but it just illustrated to me that you have to try every thing on before you buy it because it might not look right once you get it on, and vice versa.

So, this outfit was so cute. It was a black, low v-neck, spaghetti-strapped leotard that was overlaid with heavy lace. The lace continued where the leotard ended and it was like a see-through ankle-length black lace dress.

So, yesterday after I finished the blog, I sent Beaux a song.

Because remember he had sent me that text saying he had no idea who I was?

I wasn’t ready to tell him yet so I sent the song and even I was kind of annoyed that all she says is, “Me” or something but doesn’t say who “me” is. Sorry Beaux, but I wasn’t ready yet.

So, when I tried on the outfit, I made a video and decided that was how I was going to let him know it was me, right? Wrong. When I tried to send it later on that night, my Obamaphone wouldn’t let me attach the video. 😦 I even trimmed it until it was half as long (about 14 seconds). I tried to take a screenshot, a little. Not really. I mean, I might still try and do something with it, but my battery was dying so maybe later today, In sha Allah. Maybe if I edit it down to ten seconds…

So, why when I went into the dressing room, they were all empty, but when I came out there was a line? I told you I always find the hot spot. Hell, I think I am the Hot Spot!”

Then, I give my outfit to the saleslady and go to leave the store. When I look at the place on the wall where the outfit was, why were there none left? And there had been about four or five of them!

I wish I could post the video (kind of, but not really LOL) so you can see how cute it is, but I’m in it. LOL Sorry

So, then I went to see the Sunset.

After the Sunset, I was in a oh wait, let me see if it finished uploading BRB

I might post the pictures too.

So, then I found out I had more food stamps than I thought. Oh, tell me why is the picture on the California EBT card, the place in Malibu where I almost drowned? Actually, it’s the place I was trying to get to when I almost drowned. :/

But that just goes to show how beautiful it is. I would post a picture but this computer won’t let me. Maybe later on my phone, In sha Allah.

Just click here.

I know it’s the same place because, if you look closely, you can see the Paradise Cove pier.

So, to celebrate the food stamp “surplus” I decided to go get some ice cream. And I really like Ralph’s better than Vons now, because Ralph’s says “Thank you, loyal customer” or something like that, and that makes me feel appreciated. So even though Vons is closer, I rode all the way back to the Club to go to Ralph’s, which is right down the street and who makes me feel like they appreciate my patronage.

There is also this park I found out about and wanted to find, just because I’m homeless and parks are one of the few places (public) homeless people can go without being hairy-assed. LOL

They are having a Jazz Summer Concert Series next month and I wanted to go until I saw out of all the four acts, there is only one BLACK person! In a JAZZ Concert Series! That is disturbing. So, I probably won’t go even though one of the groups specializes in New Orleans jazz. I know it’s just going to piss me off.

So, I got some ice cream and tried to find the park. I couldn’t find it but I did find the Santa Monica Arts Center, where there are all these fine art galleries. They look so expensive. They have auctions. Rich people live in Santa Monica, I’m discovering.

So, since I couldn’t find the new park, I went to an old park I really like that has a Library, and it’s so crazy because it’s only about a block away from Santa Monica College (where “The Parkers” and everybody else who lives in L.A. went to college LOL) but I never knew there was a public library right there.

Anyway, I got to listen to basketballs, which is one of my favorite sounds. I love the way basketballs sound when they bounce. I especially love the sound of the “swoosh” when it’s nothing but net. This court was outdoors, but the sound of tennis shoes as they squeak on the court makes me feel some kinda way.

I read Miles’ autobiography and he liked the sound of basketball games too. He mentioned how quiet it would get in the gym when the ball traveled from the shooter’s hand to the time it made or missed the basket.

The sound of the rim when the basketball hits it (brick) is like scratching a chalkboard to me almost.

I should have stayed at that park. I had a premonition that it was time to find a new spot. When you’re homeless, you have to keep it moving. But I had grown accustomed to my spot, so back I went.

I still felt like riding around, and took the long way “home.”

I went down Pico towards the beach but had to turn off when I neared a place that held bad memories for me.

I turned down 14th Street and why did I come across a cemetery!?!? For some reason, Allah likes me to visit cemeteries, so when I saw the gate was wide open, after visiting New Orleans, where they lock the cemeteries so they can charge you for tours, I had to go in.

It was pitch black and so creepy and scary! I LOVED it! There were tall trees lining the path and they overshadowed it making it even darker and scarier. But I had to.

I rode slowly through the cemetery. I don’t know what time it was, maybe about nine thirty. And all I kept thinking was,  “I’m surrounded by dead bodies.” That was a weird feeling. But I kept going. It was so quiet and peaceful, I thought about spending the night there, but it was too dark and I didn’t feel safe. I thought I saw somebody who had already decided to sleep there, but I think it was just a sleeping bag or some other bulky something or another. I didn’t stop to inspect.

So, I rode through and came out a little further down. It was so weird because I had been over there before on the back street. It was directly across the street from Santa Monica College but the entrance was on a side street. So going down the main streets on the side, you would never know there was a cemetery right there.

I thought it was a golf course when I had seen it before.

So, I’m still riding and I come across a park. And you know I love parks. So, I decided to ride through. I had been on the other side when I was feeling particularly bad about being homeless and don’t really have good memories about that side.

But this side had a gym and so I had to look inside and see all the Brothers.

It was tiny and there was only one Brother.

Disappointing.

But I rode farther into the park and discovered a “skate park”/”bike park”

I had never seen anything like what I saw before.

There was a deep pit that looked too deep to even climb out of but there it was.

So there were bikers all around and I love watching sports. I can’t help it. I know Sport And Play Keep One’s Mind off of Allah, so I try to stave off the attraction.

But they were right there. I do the same thing with skaters. I love the sound of skateboards almost as much as basketballs. And I like to sportscast, like we’re on T.V. It’s so fun. But I know girls aren’t supposed to do that kind of stuff.

So, I got out my camera and as soon as I got it going, he got out of the pit. :/

So, I rode around the park just a little bit more, then I pushed to the spot.

Why were there these devil teenagers RIGHT next to my bench, acting devilish?

I moved to another bench.

And got comfortable and eventually fell asleep.

Why did later, I feel someone tapping me? I thought it was the police, so I was like, “WHAT!?!”

It was some devil asking me if I needed any money, a dollar or something.

That’s the thing about being so conspicuous. Even though I was completely wrapped in my blankets from head to toe, (why did I pick up some white jail blankets at the Club? LOL) I know he recognized Lu. I’m kind of cute and I know a lot of these men would like to have me.

But I’m Beaux’s, so I was like, “All I need is for you to leave me alone!”

He would not leave, so I was like, “Just put the dollar in the basket on my bike!”

I heard him reach in and then get on a skateboard and leave.

After a while, I looked in my basket, but there was no dollar. Devils.

But, as if that was predicting what was going to happen later, at about 4:40 a.m., somebody else is tapping me on my shoulder. This time it really was the po-pos. I knew I should have stayed at the other park. :/

But I just went to the pier and looked at what a difference a day had made in the beach. Whereas, last night was beautiful, colorful and sunny, this morning was gray and drab.

But it was still beautiful! All Praise is due to Allah!

IMG_20170725_064220.jpg

 

 

You Can See Forever….

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

 

 

 

 

 

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beautiful and Beloved Asiatic Black Bebies!

How was your A.J. Day WEEKEND?!!?!?!?!?

A.J. Day was Saturday, but I was niggardly and didn’t buy the Lindt chocolate I was supposed to have to celebrate with on Saturday, so I extended it to include Sunday too and just had the first A.J. Day Weekend!!! Al Hamdulillah!!! I hope you had as good a time as I had! Allahu Akbar!

In college, I studied Journalism and as opposed to storytelling where you build up to the apex of a story, in Journalism, you are supposed to hit straight for the most important part of the story first, so I’m going to begin with the most important part of A.J. Day Weekend for me.

Last night, I had a good time on the Promenade. I noticed something that had escaped me before. Remember I told you about Sheharazad and the other Arabian singer? Well, two more Arabian acts were there this weekend. A female and a live guitarist and drummer band.

They have by far the best and most popular entertainment on the whole Promenade and I told you over seventy-five per cent of the patrons are Middle Eastern. So you know I just love it there.

BUT what I noticed last night is that the Muslim women who are dressed like me (covered) know the songs, tip the performers and videotape the performances, but they NEVER dance.

The women who dance know the songs and do all the above, BUT they look like Americans. They don’t cover. They usually have on shorts and tank tops and look just like all other American women.

This struck me as kind of disappointing because I love to dance and I know how to dance like the women who dance, but I can’t because I am representing Islam and although I pick up on some Islamic terms in the music, I don’t think it is representing Allah and Islam in an entirely positive way.

Here is what I think.

The Muslim women know how to dance like the other women but we only do it in private.

I was reading a book I picked up for free at a giveaway at the Library. It was a book I had heard of but had never read. I stopped reading it after I was reminded why I try to steer clear of anything produced by devils.

But anyway, the book talked about two kinds of women: prostitutes and decent women.

That’s about all there is. Either you are one or the other.

The decent women cover and don’t dance in public.

The prostitutes come out half-dressed (or covered) and don’t carry themselves in a modest fashion, i.e. dancing in public.

I understand why it is best not to cross the line because one of the women who was dancing, did it in an acceptable manner (imo) but there was another woman who just looked slutty.

Another thing I observed is that the older women danced better.

I think it is because of experience.

But another thing that held the younger women back is that they are Americanized. I felt sorry for them because you could see they felt the pull of the culture but it just wasn’t in them like it was in the older women. When they tried to do the dances, it didn’t look as natural as it did for the older women.

So, I left the Promenade earlier than usual, and went to see what was cracking on the Pier.

I’m so thankful for Lulu. She makes getting around so much EASIER and more convenient. If I didn’t have her, I probably would have just pushed to the spot.

The Pier was cool. But at night, I like the Promenade better. The people are more refined on The Promenade because there are nothing but shops so you have to have some ends.

The Pier is more for children, with Pacific Park and whatnot.

The Pier at night is more beautiful than in the daytime, however.  And I like to “read” the lights on the ferris wheel. They’re different every night.

The Promenade is better for the performers. The patrons are more apt to tip since the Promenade is designed for spending money. At least, that’s been my observation.

The musical artists on the Pier seem to be there more for atmospheric background music accompanying all that water.

It’s interesting but The Pier seems to have it’s own type of music. It’s like world music and “meditation” type music. The musicians play foreign instruments like sitars and whatnot.

Sometimes it creeps me out because it is eerily close to Buddhism or at least it feels like it to me. But Islam is first and everything good in any religion originated with Islam – like Tai Chi and meditation, so I’m sure that that type of music is in there too.

So, I had a good time on the Pier and then decided to push to the spot.

I got there but didn’t feel like sleeping. So whenever I don’t feel like sleeping, I don’t sleep. I don’t care what time it is nor how long I’ve been awake. If I’m not sleepy, that means I don’t need to sleep.

I’m not taking sleeping pills just because I’m not sleepy and everybody else thinks I’m supposed to sleep.

If I’m not sleepy that means, I’m supposed to be doing something else.

A lot of people who suffer from “mental illness” don’t sleep at the designated times.

It has something to do with melatonin.

One of the first things the psychiatrist asks is “Are you sleeping okay?”

I know many people who stay awake for three to five days at a time.

If the doctors really wanted to help, they would see the connection between this length of time and the typically prescribed “72-hour hold” which is generally how long an episode lasts.

But Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Does Not Sleep At All. And we are Gods and Goddesses, so we should not think it is unusual for us to not sleep as well.

The dominant society just wants to slow us down and nothing except death is slower than sleep.

So, as we say in the Hip-Hop Community “Don’t Sleep” LITERALLY.

So, I was also feeling a deep longing for Beaux. (That’s my new name for Zawji. 😀 I’ve always liked that name for a big strong handsome man. Bo’s are always big, strong and handsome except for Bo Buchanon who used to be on “One Life To Live” (IMO) but he was one of the stars of the show.

I’ve like that name since “Bonanza.” LOL I’m sorry but I’m from the Wild Wild West and I can’t help it but I like cowboys. I used to like the theme song from that show. Let me see if I can find it. I liked “Little Jo” too. He died in the same hospital as I was giving birth to my firstborn. 😦 R.I.P. “Pa” Even though he was a devil.) Hoss was cool but ugly. I guess he was the DUFF.

 

 

 

 

Then one time I was coming home from New Orleans and I met this guy named Bo from Atlanta. He was big, strong and handsome. Man, I love that name. But I like to spell it Beaux, like they would in New Orleans. Or Beau, like they would in Paris.)

So anyway, I was really missing Beaux last night. And I haven’t really thought about him in that way and haven’t written too much about him either. So, even though when I was in jail, I had resigned myself to fall back, I decided to send him a text.

I didn’t really know what to say. It was like 11:30 and I debated whether to send it at all, since it was so late. But you know I’m crazy, right? So that’s never stopped me before. I just debated what to send and decided to just be honest and wrote, “Just thinking about you…”

Now, sometimes I get messages from other dimensions and I got one that told me he got my text. And I was happy so I sent an emoji blowing a kiss.

Then why did I get a text from him???!!!!!

I was like OMG!!! This is major! Although I didn’t really trip. I think I’m cool after all this time. I’ve been texting and e-mailing him for over three years and in all that time only got one response. (Which I don’t even think was from him. I had just gotten him fired from his job and he let Malik cuss me out LOL)

So when I got the text, I think I may have been in shock.

I wasn’t sure how I felt.

Usually I ask Allah.

But I didn’t think to ask last night.

Allah Told Me Don’t Say Anything.

So I didn’t.

Fake world A.J. replied and I want to hear from Beaux.

So, I let the music respond for him.

 

 

 

https://youtu.be/lFaaM1PeH7I

I felt so good.

Then this came on. But the Internet Gods were in an uproar because of his text and I didn’t hear it until this morning. Same message. Just delayed.

 

I went to sleep.

Allah Told Me Don’t Respond So I Didn’t Want To Make Being Obedient Difficult.

I saw a little ladybug crawling on the park bench I was going to go to sleep on. And I just played with him/her and thought about what had just happened.

I didn’t tell you what he wrote.

I guess I’ll put it for my and posterity’s sake. So when I’m rereading this in one, two, ten, twenty or a hundred years I won’t have to try and do the impossible and remember what he wrote. Although…. 😉

Anyway, He wrote, “I have no idea who this is.”

This pleases you haters. But I know that which you do not know.

I thought about things I could reply but Allah Is The Best Knower. And I submit to His Infinitely Wise Will.

Beaux knows exactly who I am. But he is not who sent that text. A.J. sent that b.s.. But Allah Is All-Knowing and All-Wise so I Hear and Obey.

I think I know what I’m going to reply, but that’s if my phone and the Internet Gods allow me to. LOL

I’ll let you know how it goes, In Sha Allah.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Ordinarily, I would just leave the blog as it is but sometimes, a lot of times, I do things that no one but I understand, and then when I go back and read it later, I exercise my brain by trying to remember what I meant when I wrote what I wrote.

But, I don’t want to do that with this one.

So, I’m going to explain.

When I woke up this morning on the park bench in the park, and opened my eyes, I was met with the most beautiful sight in the world – a clear blue sky and sunshine.

That feeling has been with me all day.

I wasn’t even disappointed that I missed the Sunrise. Sometimes the Sunrise is not even that beautiful. But when I woke up this morning!

The first thing that popped into my head was the video I posted at the top. I know they’re devils but I grew up in America…

Anyway, when I went to type the blog, “On A Clear Day” was what Allah (swt) Seemed to Want me to post. But I had posted that before I think. At least, I know I posted it on Facebook.

So, at first I had both. Then I deleted the Clear Day.

But kept the title.

So to help you, who may not be as into music as I am, understand the relationship between the title of the blog and the opening video, as well as what a beautiful day I’m having (and hope you are too 🙂 ) I’m going to post “On A Clear Day As Well.” Enjoy.

I like this one better though 😉

https://youtu.be/8eG1rlv9mDo

Oh my God. One time I was at the World Stage and I was going to sing this and the trio started off so good (swinging!) and I got through the first 32 bars LOVING IT!!! Then someone came and said they had to close early. SMH. Only me….

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I was going to write about the Farmer’s Market in Samo this weekend, but there isn’t really too much to say except it was dope, better than dtla and I got some bomb food.

I have video of this singer I want to post later, In Sha Allah.

She was French and her guitar was dope.

But I really want to fill you in on what happened after I got out of jail.

I wasn’t going to say anything but when I wrote about what happened to my laptop, I think there might be some confusion. So, I want to relate what happened.

I got out of jail, didn’t have any money, or else I was going to buy new everything.

But since I didn’t have any money, I HAD to go back to the house to get the stuff I left (my computer and sleeping bag).

So, I go back to this quiet little neighborhood in the Malibu Hills and I kind of had a feeling I might run into the man who ran me out of the house.

I had on the same thing and I was on foot.

Sure enough, I see the car he was driving and he was following me.

I turned around and started walking towards his car. He keeps driving and passes me up.

So, I turn back around now that he’s gone and continue walking towards the house.

To make a long story short (it’s almost Suppertime 😉 )

I went to the house and he was out there with some more evil hateful devils and started recording me on his phone.

I asked “Where is that white girl?”

One of the other devils mockingly said, “WHAT white girl?”

So, then I was like whatever and started walking away.

The devil who ran me out the first time was still recording but get this. He starts reciting John 3:16.

I was like, “For real?” SMH

But I keep walking.

Then he repeats it. And I couldn’t take it anymore.

I said loudly, “THAT’S A LIE!”

A. God does not have a son
B. He is all-powerful and doesn’t have to kill anybody just to forgive your sins.

So anyway, I went around the corner, called the Sheriffs, and they came and got my stuff.

I just thought it was interesting that that devil would start quoting the Bible.

If you don’t think we are living in The Holy Spiritual War of ARMAGEDDON, you’ve got another “think” coming.

 

Housewife? Me?

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

It’s funny, I never thought I would look at homemaking as not being enough for me.

But when you say “housewife” it sounds different.

I’ve always said I was a Homemaker because I wasn’t a housewife.

I always thought I did the same things though.

I think housewife is like a homemaker but you have a boss (your husband)

That makes it more difficult.

You have somebody to answer to whereas before I could do what I wanted when I wanted as long as it got done.

Homemaking/Housewifing is like a career. It takes up all your time.

I was just free to blog because I didn’t have a husband to look after. I guess the blog took up that space in my life.

So earlier when I realized I won’t be writing this blog once I get married, it hit me like a ton of bricks.

This is my career.

And all I ever talk about is how women need to give up their careers when they get married and focus on their husband and his clothes and food and house and children, but when it comes to actually DOING it it’s a whole different story.

I never realized it but this blog is my LIFE!

Ask my son.

Once I started, maybe it started with facebook. But I know I started spending a lot of time on the computer whereas before I didn’t.

I let the children influence me. THEY were always on the phone so I thought that was the thing to do.

So, I started finding stuff to do online.

Myspace not so much.

However, once I asked my daughter if she knew how to get in touch with me in case of an emergency and she said, “Myspace?” So maybe I was on it more than I realize.

My roommate is going to be 76 next month and her days consist of sitting in a chair, eating, using the bathroom and answering the door when one of us comes home. Nobody has a key and I think that’s why. Our landlord wants to give her something to do.

But that’s how I think my days will be if I stop blogging.

Twiddling my thumbs.

I see how Zawji is doing it. We’re speeding up though.

He got me off fliers just about a month ago. It was All-Star Weekend. It was a couple days before the game and I think the game was on the 18th, if I’m not mistaken. I can G it but it’s not that serious.

Point is, he’s speeding up.

Today is the 28th. Wow! I haven’t been to sleep but it’s just after twelve, so I can’t even say it’s the 27th. See what I’m sayin’?

One month and twelve days since I stopped spreading the blog.

Now I’m getting ready to stop blogging altogether.

I think he wants me to stop for awhile before we get together to get used to it.

He took my fliers before I knew I was ready.

I, virtually, had stopped making them and wasn’t really handing them out anyway.

I was just making them to practice writing with my right hand and was about to start back passing them out and accidentally left them on a bench, I think.

Benches are very significant to me and Zawji.

We walk alot and go to parks and there are always benches.

We have always sat on benches.

He has a bench swing in his downtown loft which is perfect for us.

You know how I love to swing and a bench would seat both of us together.

I can’t wait.

This house he wanted to give me had a bench in the backyard. But the swing is better.

But anyway, I accidentally, left the bag of fliers on the bench. I think.

And haven’t made another one since.

As much as I talk about homemaking, I never knew I was a career woman.

Until I was thinking about actually stopping blogging.

Then the word Career popped into my mind and Giving it up too

And it hit me really hard.

I’m changing directions.

I think about the two Angels who rented me this place.

She just came out to meet me and convince me to take it

BUT he does all the work.

I think about helping other women.

Sometimes it takes a woman to help a woman.

We can have been really abused by men and are skeptical of their help so Allah sends us female Angels to do the job of raising up us into Angels to marry an Angel.

I know I have raised some women into Angels with this blog

AND

I

REALLY

THINK

MY

WORK

IS

DONE

.

So, I’m going to try and make this my last blog, Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black People.

You know how my life is though. I said I’m going to TRY.

See how it feels to not have a blog anymore.

I mean it’s still mine technically.

I might even still pay to keep the ads off for awhile.

Maybe I’ll nah, that’s too much like a career.

I was going to say publish it into a hardcopy but that’s work and the point is to give up working and focus on Zawji completely.

So, if this and I think it is, my last blog,

Thank-you so much for taking the time to read it. I’m sorry you won’t be privy to the affairs of my life anymore. Just know that I married Zawji and we lived happily ever after.

Basketball & Love

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

So, I just watched it again.

I took my daughter to see it when it first came out – before I became Muslim. Muslims don’t go to the devils’ shows.

But I just watched it on YouTube and I remember thinking awhile back – after I became Muslim – that it seemed so BACKWARDS when at the end of the movie SHE was on the basketball court and HE was sitting on the sideline with the baby.

I know it’s not just me anymore, because I’ve seen so much progress, but doesn’t that seem so backwards! He should be on the court – if anybody’s going to be playing professional basketball – and SHE should be on the sidelines – like he said in the beginning – cheering him on with the baby.

But that’s America.

Another thing I really didn’t like was how unappreciative she was of her mother’s love for her father.

The first time I watched it, it’s obvious when he comes in and asks his wife to iron both his shirts for him. I’m not even going to mention how she was already slacking because they should not even have been in the closet if they weren’t ironed already.

But Monica seemed embarrassed that her mother was ironing her father’s shirts!

Then to top it off, when they do finally discuss how Monica felt about her mother being a housewife, her mother doesn’t defend herself by telling her daughter how much she loves her father and that she would do anything to make him happy – she starts talking about how she “gave up on her dreams because she got pregnant!!!!!!”

I mean really, can’t a woman love her husband so much that she is happy taking care of him. Why we gotta have a side hustle??? (the origin of that phrase was a topic on Merriam-Webster.com today so sorry not sorry just seemed to fit. 😉 ) Why can’t we just be happy cooking and cleaning and doing our husband’s laundry and making sure his children always have homemade chocolate chip cookies and milk after school??? Why we gotta have some kinda career too??? SMH

I mean Heaven for a woman should be making Heaven for her husband.

Our Beloved Messenger (May the Peace and the Blessings of Allah forever be upon him) said “A woman is the only heaven a man has.”

Why is this not enough for some of us?

Heaven is a way of life. And your home should be Heaven for your family. It is a woman’s responsibility to be her husband’s Heaven. When you have knowledge of self it makes you happy to do these things for him. Especially when he is providing you with a big house in Baldwin Hills. 😉

She should have taught her daughters how to be happy being housewives. I mean the older daughter seemed to get it and some people are just cut from a different cloth but she should not have let her youngest daughter play with boys to begin with. Then she wouldn’t have gotten that cut on her face.

BALANCE

I love to play basketball too but now that I’m a Muslim, I understand that sport and play are only for exercise and to learn the value of teamwork.

I would never play in front of strange men out in the public but get me in a girls’ gym and I will show you I got game.

Her mistake was putting basketball in front of the needs of her man and she paid dearly for it. She lost him. She got him back but not until she stopped playing. Then they had her playing again because the WNBA was new back then and I think that was the whole reason for the movie in the first play tbh.

I know why I had to watch this movie though. Zawji wanted me to see I should never put anything before him. Especially not this blog.

I didn’t even know I was doing it. He said that was why I came to New Orleans prematurely. To spread the blog. And now I realize it’s true. Because people in L.A. were telling me I had already given them a flier and that had never happened before and when I got to NO that’s all I was doing – spreading the blog.

I can’t remember the last time I gave out a flier.

Ironically, I lost the bag that I had them all in a while back and I knew that means it’s time out for handing out fliers. I never said anything about it because it didn’t seem like a big deal. I guess it was pretty mager though.

I’ve been handing out fliers since about 2013 I guess. Four years of doing something becomes more than a habit. It’s a way of life.

But when you get married, your spouse becomes your way of life at least for women. Men have businesses that they have to think about too. But women, our whole LIFE should be about our husband and making his home Heaven. Maybe that’s why WIFE sounds so much like LIFE. You’re a W-oman whose L-ife is dedicated to her husband = Wife.

I don’t know what else to do but write right now. I really don’t have anything ELSE to do. I think he’s weaning me off of writing. Because I’ve stopped spreading the blog. Every now and then he will tell me to tell someone about it but I don’t hand out fliers anymore.

I have the Sweetest Most Beneficent and Merciful Zawji in the Universe. He makes everything easy for me and does things in the Best Possible Way.

Funny, I just felt like making fliers. I haven’t felt like that since about last year. I used to sit up all night making fliers. I don’t sleep much anyway, so it wasn’t a big deal. I guess that was like my career – spreading the blog. I’m having a hard time. Realizing I’m actually giving it up. I guess deep down I thought I would pick it up again. But Zawji says I’m retired. I’m hanging up my Chux. Literally. I wear Vans now. So I guess you should consider yourself lucky that you’ve found out about my blog. If anybody else finds out about it it won’t be because they got a flier from me. That makes me kinda sad. I feel like it’s the end of an era. Like Kobe retiring. I wonder what he’s doing nowadays. I wonder if he still plays. I mean I’m sure he has a gym on his property but how often does he go out there and shoot-around? He should coach or something. Maybe be an announcer – SOMETHING! Okay, I just G’d Kobe Bryant and this is what he’s doing. I’m a little disappointed because I’m living in the Hereafter where there are nothing but light musings and the Black Mamba seems more focused on the negative. :/ I wouldn’t even have talked about it except to say don’t even think about it. 🙂 And this is for children! I would tell children. Your thoughts determine your reality. Just think positive all the time. I like Shaq’s “TWISM” doctrine better. Don’t worry! Be Happy!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’ve kept a journal all my life. That’s all this is now. Just my diary. It’s just public now.

That will stop too once I start living the life of a real housewife. Maybe.

I’m just going to have to budget my writing time. We can be like Shelby and whatever her name was and I can write while Zawji cooks. Ah I’m feeling stress. I like to write when I like to write and that can be any time of the day or night. I guess that’s why we’re not together yet.

Someone told me I have this to do and that’s why we couldn’t be together. That was somewhat of a shock to me but it was true. I wanted to be with a lot of brothers but after a while I started spreading the blog again. And then problems arose.

I guess that’s why Zawji had me stop spreading the blog before we get together so it won’t be a problem later. He says writing the blog is not a problem. It was the spreading the blog because I had to be out too much. He says it wasn’t even the talking to Brothers – not with him – because he’s secure. It’s just that I’m supposed to be in the house.

Now, that I’m climbing out of the homeless dugout, I’m spending more time at home. I just go to certain events and that’s only every once in a while. I used to go to the library everyday. I take walks every now and then but I’m not out in the street all day.

I even made some bean soup ON THE STOVE!!!!

I’ve never done that in my life!!! It came out really good too. The beans taste creamier than in the Crock Pot. Or maybe it’s because I haven’t had any bean soup since last September. Wow! It seems like at least a year. It wasn’t as bad as people make it seem. I didn’t even have to add any more water. I did watch it like a hawk though. And, I didn’t even have to do all that. But I wanted it to come out good.

Anyway, I think I’m getting myself ready to stop blogging.

That means you gotta get ready too.

I remember when Living Single was talking about going off the air and everybody protested so they kept it on but it was boo-boo.

I can’t go out like that.

You gotta know when to hang up your Chux and retire.

But let me go back to this movie.

I have to say something about Q’s mother.

I knew she wasn’t right when his father said she tricked him into thinking she could bake with the old “fake n bake” acting like she baked that cake. I mean really! How hard is it to bake a cake. Even some little girl baked my son a cake for his birthday and she was like 13! That’s just lazy and deceptive and she got everything she deserved when she couldn’t keep him in the house with her. He didn’t want her. She tricked him into marrying her and she had the type of marriage that results from trickery.

Don’t ever do that Sisters.

This Brother told me about a Sister who did some voodou to keep him coming around and he said he hated every minute of it. He ended up finding out about what she did and fixed it and freed himself. But Sisters, if a man doesn’t want you at the moment, if it’s meant to be it will. Just be patient.

Don’t trap him into something he’s not ready for.

A lot of times Sisters get pregnant and the Brother feels obligated to do the right thing but that should not be the reason you get married. That’s what happened to my parents and I guess I should be glad they got married, otherwise I wouldn’t be here, but don’t have sex before you get married.

Do everything the right way. COURT. Don’t have boyfriends and girlfriends. It makes everything so right and exact. You won’t have to trap him because he wouldn’t be courting you if he doesn’t want to marry you.

And if the Brother you want doesn’t seem interested pray and ask Allah if he is the one. If Allah Says yes, be patient and keep chaste. He WILL Come Around.

My life bears witness and we’re not there yet but soon come. 😀

A Dream… A Simple Fantasy…

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

This was the song everybody who thought they could sing would sing back in the day LOL

Twelve-years-old singing about lost love. SMH

Foreshadowing though. I learned about that when I was twelve too.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Anyway, I just had a dream that was a Matrix. It was real. Zawji fixed it so I didn’t die.

I saw Ivan on the train (always traveling). He had a girlfriend. She tried to give him her Day Pass but the jerk train driver was hating like the ones out here. I will never understand why they are such jerks especially considering how much money these tourists pay to ride the streetcar. That St. Charles is always so packed, I rather take the bus. Those tourists pay enough so that every local should be able to ride free but the drivers are such jerks, they will stop the bus/train until you get off if you are a penny short. I can only narrow it down to the fact that Southern Blacks are just in love with the slavemaster. *sigh*

Anyway, he paid and got on and knew everybody on the train. We were all into music in some way or another. I asked him how was his father although I’ve never met his father. I just know he’s a Junior and that Ivan, Sr. is a musician.

Hey, I have a cousin who named her son Ivan and he is a Junior!

So, the train is going and it’s supposed to be somewhere near the Fox Hills Mall or whatever they changed the name to, and as we near I notice there is a construction truck out of control near the train tracks. So the train driver starts going fast trying to get past the out of control truck while it was out of the way but the truck had messed up the track already and I found out later we crashed and I died, but Zawji changed the Matrix so that it just skipped and everybody was off the train and I started running up the hill to get away from the out of control truck. And everybody who was previously watching the out-of-control truck decided to do like me and run for their own lives. I guess they never considered the truck could come their way.

I took off my backpack so that I could run faster.

I didn’t even worry about it. Sacrifice.

Sometimes people carry bags to symbolize people they’re not with. This bag was white and blue and I guess symbolized Zawji. That’s why I wasn’t worried about it because it was supposed to be Black.

I always carry a Black bag. I think that’s a little Bohemian in me…

So, I didn’t die.

But I got visited by two female Angels in real life.

Some wicked old witch told me Angels can’t be females.

But we have to have female Angels. Otherwise, who are the male Angels going to marry???

One of the Angels told me to “Keep the Faith” and that I am a Beautiful Person.

I didn’t really pay attention to the Beautiful Person part right away. It’s hard to accept compliments sometimes. But Brother Bill said if you are going to be famous you have to be able to accept a lot of compliments or something like that.

So the Second Angel told me to “STAY STRONG”

Zawji and I came really close to getting together in this dream but I messed up as usual.

WE have to be one hundred per cent Right and Exact. So, the Angels advice really came in handy.

I was at somebody’s house oh, my friend who doesn’t have any children in real life, had a baby and the baby was in a terrible condition. She wanted to wash her face and my friend was too lazy to wash the baby’s face. Wait a minute, that was another dream.

This dream I was at a party and all the people from the train were there but my Best Friend Erika was there too and Bill Nunn, but he was Zawji’s Best Friend in the dream, which is crazy because Brother Bill is dead in real life but in the dream, no it wasn’t Bill Nunn it was one of his Doppelgangers, I think. But anyway, he was young like Radio Rahim and he was Zawji’s Best Friends.

WE were at some type of radio station and there was music everywhere. There were some homosexuals there too though. They were sickening. Jamie Foxx had a show and I told him to play California Here I Come by Ray Charles. He played it.

So, the homosexuals messed it up for me.

There was some type of movie playing but it was like we were in it even though it was about a white family on some deserted vacation beach.

So anyway, they showed me I messed up using my friend Tracy Jones (yes, the actress – maybe that’s why they used her LOL). I ended up getting distracted by another man, right when Zawji was going to surprise and propose to me.

So, we’ve got to try again.

I decided to just stay where I am.

I mean, I’m always so quick to run from a situation. I’m trying to learn how to just wait on Zawji. I’m so used to doing everything and making stuff happen.

I run when I don’t have anything else to do. My son didn’t call me Impatientifah for nothing. But I think I’m just going to stay put for once.

That means I can’t buy my son his Alligator stuff. Not yet anyway. Whenever I get too much money I start buying clothes. But this time I’m going to pay rent and try and keep a roof over my head.

This is supposed to be a fresh start for me so I’ve got to keep going. I am going to try to keep going forward and not backwards (homeless)

Progress

Old Brazilian Freak

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Ma Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Bebies!

Oh My God.

Why did I finally go see the spot the lady was trying to rent to me and got totally freaked out.

Okay, when I got there I wasn’t sure how to get in so I called her and asked her to come to the door (wherever it was).

So, I see the screen door on the side of the house open behind the wooden gate and went nearer to it so I could be let in.

Why did this old freak open the wooden gate and all she had on was a short pink bathrobe???

I was like, “This how ya’ll do in Brazil?“

She was like, (in a thick Portuguese accent) “Well, I was home and I wasn’t doing nothing so I didn’t see any need to get dressed.“

I’m thinking, Even though we just arranged for me to come see your spot?

Old Freak

So, that’s the main reason I’m not taking it but let me show you what it was like

She had birds, fish and two dogs.

Now, I like animals too but there’s a place for them.

My accommodations were just like in the video. Very dirty.

The floor was shiny and smooth cement. I was pretty but not cozy like a home is supposed to be. It was more like a community center floor.

When she said it was a garage, she wasn’t kidding. But I was thinking a clean garage. She had stuff EVERYWHERE, kids bikes, Christmas decorations and all kinds of stuff EVERYWHERE. It was filthy. I couldn’t believe she was actually renting it out. $300 is expensive for something like that but it’s New Orleans. Everywhere in New Orleans is overpriced.

I know I told you already the houses in New Orleans are built so that you have to go through everybody’s room to get to the kitchen and the bathroom, so I would have had to go through this little old lady freak’s room to go take a shower and cook.

Granted there was a powder room but I already told you how religious it is for me to make ablutions.

THEN when she was showing me the room, she said that the bed was really soft and comfortable so I went and tested it with my hand first, then sat down.

Why did this little old freak come and sit down next to me on the bed???

Now, I’m from the society of TRAVELERS where everybody has been to jail and that is something you just do not do!!!

I got the hell out of there after that.

Remember I said it would have to be pretty bad for me to say no because I’ve slept in a horse stable.

The only thing better about this place was that it had plumbing.

But plumbing isn’t everything.

I would rather be homeless than live in that type of wicked environment.

And she has grandchildren!!! SMH

So, I don’t’ remember where I was going last time I wrote, but it looks like California Here I Come

Three years ago….

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

I drew the picture and the lady called me earlier.

I would post the picture but the one I uploaded on facebook, I forgot to color your bowtie. And I think the other one hasn’t uploaded yet. Let me check BRB NOPE Can’t even copy the one up there Oh well.

It came out really good too. Makes me feel all lovey-dovey inside.

Nobody commented.

That’s a good sign.

Whenever nobody comments that means they are really impressed and speechless.

I’m proud of myself. Not boastful. But I feel good that you and Allah allowed me to create such a beautiful piece of artwork. I made it my profile picture if anyone wants to see it. Click here.

The only thing is, I didn’t make you as tall as you are in real life.

You are about the height, maybe a little taller, that you’ve always been.

In the picture you can’t bend down and put your chin on top of my head like you did in real life.

I’m STILL trippin’ about that and it’s been THREE years.

I was just thinking about that this morning.

I posted something on facebook last year about something I posted three years ago.

It was March 24, 2014.

That was the last time we’ve seen each other in person.

I remember like it was yesterday.

You were so handsome and scary! You came stomping out the back and I was petrified. I could not move, then you looked and saw it was me and your handsome face lit up with that beautiful smile that is reserved for me. I love you. I miss you too.

It doesn’t seem like three years.

I think about my life back then and I was consumed with you.

I heard a song this morning that I used to listen to on my playlist when I used to catch the bus up to your plantation and it took me right back there. I was sitting on the bus again.

It used to take TWO HOURS to get there.

I didn’t have anything else to do though and I really enjoyed the trip.

I love catching the bus.

I love catching cabs.

I love taking the train (metro not Amtrak – at least I don’t think so – who knows? I never thought I would love taking the metro either. I just can’t do the subway. I don’t trust myself after that suicide attempt.)

I love flying.

I love traveling.

Cars? Sometimes. Depends on who’s in there with me.

I love bicycling.

I love walking.

That’s it.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

The Sister called me about the room

BUT

I

WAS

IN

THE

SHOWER

AND

NEVER

CALLED

BACK

I feel like, landlords play too many games.

I guess it’s the same with any type of barter.

Everybody wants the upper hand.

Well, I might call her next week.

I realized, I have too many options to play her games.

I’m starting to want to go back to L.A.

The only thing making me want to stay here is

The Dental School.

I REALLY WANT TO GET MY TOOTH FIXED!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

I’m trying to wait until four to eat.

I have only had some milk and honey today

BUT

My eating habits have gotten so bad since…

I guess, since I’ve been homeless.

I use the traveling excuse

BUT

EVEN

NOW

I feel like I’m traveling

BECAUSE

This is not really home.

I won’t be home until I’m in the home you made for us.

Now “Home in a minute” just came on.

😉 😉 😉

I can’t bring myself to post it.

It’s kinda filthy and I can’t let people know I listen to that type of music.

LOL

Low Key

LOL

I can’t wait to order Ibni’s clothes.

The jacket came up while I was on Facebook.

I think he’s avoiding me so he won’t make me mad and I change my mind

LOL

Smart boy.

He knows me. 🙂

Well, I guess that’s all

JUST

THAT

I

PROBABLY

Won’t know where I’m going to be next month

UNTIL
NEXT
MONTH

In Sha Allah

I just know I’m going to have fun!!!

“Life is a PLAYGROUND!!!”

It’s funny because He said “park”

I didn’t call it a playground back then.

I used to call playgrounds “parks”

But I have since learned that there is a difference.

Not all parks have playgrounds, unfortunately.

That makes me feel sad for our children.

All you can do is toss a football or play tag, which is fun

But what if you don’t have a ball

Or are all by yourself???

There’s nothing to do but sit in the grass.

And what child just wants to sit in the grass???

I learned on A.J. Day that playgrounds are probably the most fun you can have for free in the world

And Our Saviour wants us to have fun all our lives.

That’s Heaven.

I love you I love yo I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you Il ove you I love you I love you I loveyou I love you Il ove you Iloveyou I lvoe you I lov eyou I lov eyou I love you I love you I love you I love you i love ou I love you I love you I loveyou I loveyou I loveyou I love you Il ovey  Ouio I louve ou

This was so weird because it’s centered.

But it was still fun.

Okay, I think the dryers almost done with my roommates shoes in it and I want to record the rain.

I don’t really have too much to say (Who is that? Salt n Pepa?)

I really don’t have too much to say…

Now I gotta G it

BRB

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Anyway, I guess I just wanted to document our third anniversary since we haven’t seen each other SMH

WOW!!!!

See, this is why I love writing.

It’s time for me to eat now.

Time flies when you’re having fun.

If anybody out there is trying to eat one meal a day,

Just find something else to do.

It will take your mind off your hunger

AND

THE

NEXT

THING

YOU

KNOW

IT

WILL

BE

FOUR

And you can eat!!!

Which is what I’m about to do.

Oh yeah,

I tried to record the rain

BUT

My phone be trippin, right?

Just keep finding something to do until it’s time to eat

BUT

I’m going to warn you

If you’re just sitting in front of the idiot box, you’re going to want to eat.

You have to do some type of activity

Like writing or art, playing an instrument, create something, take a walk…

Until it’s time to eat!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

SisterCaptain’s Blog ٣٧

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

Please Click On The Book Cover Below And Purchase And Read The Following Book

62884_10200264979241599_1497845784_n

Thursday

March 23, 2017

11:46 A.M.A.D.- JAMAL

NEW ORLEANS

As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum Beloved and Beautiful Asiatic Black Babies

I really didn’t want to blog.

I wanted to write Zawji

BUT

HE

WANTS

ME

TO

BLOG

It’s harder because I can’t really be as completely open and free as when I write him. I have to guard my revelations a little when I write for the public. You understand.

But, it’s good I guess.

I reread my messages to him more than I reread old blogs though.

I think he just wants me to tell the world how I feel about him. LOL

Everybody knows I love him more than life itself.

Or at least you do if you’ve ever ready my blog.

If this is your first one, let me fill you in.

I fell in love in 1979 with a boy who sent me an “I like you, do you like me? Yes? No?” note. We were in the same class and I know I checked Yes because I liked him. Still do. A few years ago, Allah, Master Fard Muhammad, To Whom Praises Are Due Forever, Told Me this boy, who was now a man, is my soulmate, or as we say in Arabic – ZAWJI – which officially translates to husband, but I like to say “my everything a man can be to a woman” He is my Brother; my Provider; my Protector; my Baby; my Daddy, and my Husband…
So Cheah…

He Wants Me To Write You…

It’s so funny because two days ago I was planning to move back to L.A. next month, but yesterday (A.J. Day) was so eventful, I might be staying in New Orleans.

I really hadn’t resigned myself to moving to L.A. yet, so it’s all good.

I’m really feeling New Orleans and although I’m not as close to The French Quarter as I would like to be, I’m close enough to go to The Jazz Playhouse any night of the week. Also Lebanon’s Cafe… I still want to see Papa Ellis at Snug Harbor too although I’m not anxious to see devils in his band.

That’s the reason why I left the Congo Square thing.

It’s nauseating.

I have no tolerance for it, I’m learning.

So, I don’t know.

The last time I went to The Playhouse, I ended up leaving before the band even started their set because they had a devil in the band and I couldn’t stomach it.

I don’t know if I’m ever, well I did get to see a good show at the Congo Square thing unexpectedly and the children’s bands were all Black. That is very encouraging.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

In sha Allah, I’m going to see the lady’s house this afternoon.

It will have to be pretty bad for me to refuse.

I’ve lived in a horse stable. LOL

But I loved being so close to the horses.

They’re so sweet.

That’s another thing good about staying in NOLA.

I’m going to miss Ibni but last time I was in L.A., I didn’t see him once. So cheah.

I told him I was going to buy him a alligator shirt and he said “Those shirts are expensive” and I thought he meant to say them you-know-whats are expensive LOL

It’s funny because I used to always dress him in polo shirts and expensive Kangols now I can get him the expensive polo shirts too. I guess I’ll get him a Kangol too. I want to get him an alligator jacket and shoes but I don’t think he’ll like the shoes. The jacket yes.

He’s so cute.

Well, that’s all really. I just wanted to write about going to see the Sister’s house. I really hope I can stay in New Orleans. It’s the greatest city in the world.

Sorry Zawji. I know you love L.A.

You can make me love L.A. when you feel like it, but I’m not feeling it, so I think you want me to stay in Nola. Today anyway.

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

3:09 p.m.

Before I moved into this new place, the owner said it was time for me to forge ahead with life. Or something like that.

Like it’s time to settle down and stop being homeless, moving from shelter to street to street to shelter to street.

At least that’s what I took it to mean.

I agreed.

That’s why I’m here.

I could just have easily gone back to the street but it’s so STRESSFUL.

I agreed to a ROOMMATE!

Which is something I thought I would never do.

BUT

I’ve really grown since my last fight, I believe anyway.

But it’s starting to look like, and I don’t want to speak prematurely, but it looks like I may have found another place without ever having to have a roommate.

I still have about a week and a half before I get my check and can move but I think I would be okay with a roommate especially now knowing my time is so short. I could do a week and a half, In sha Allah.

This living with a devil is really getting on my nerves.

Admittedly, it’s better than last time.

I think I know them a little better.

That doesn’t mean she’s any less annoying and vindictive but I’m better able to cope.

Again, a week and a half.

People always try to test me.

See how much I can stand.

But my teacher taught me that the righteous are like water. It takes 212 degrees Farenheit to bring us to a boil, whereas spirits boil at 170 degrees or something like that. Let me G it. BRB

WOW!!!

Google said 78 degrees!!!

That’s a HUGE difference.

That’s probably why they can’t affect me. LOL

They’re used to spirits. LOL

I’m water, Baby. H2O….

I’m so cool, it’s not even funny.

She used the pan I use everyday to cook my dinner and put a big roast in it and stuck it in the refrigerator. Nobody even ate it.

But Allahu Akbar

I found a pan that works even better because it’s smaller and better suited to my meal for one. Allahu Akbar!

You cannot phase the resourceful.

LOL

All I can do is SMH at the efforts of the wicked.

I know there’s a scripture in the Holy Qur’an that applies.

All I can think of is that they plan and Allah Plans, surely Allah is the Best of Planners.

LOL

That’s not how it goes, but it’s still true. LOL

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

Our Saviour, yesterday (A.J. Day), Told Me To “BE HAPPY!!!” And I didn’t say it but I truly was. I was almost like that Second Line I saw where everybody was happier than any people I’ve seen in my life. The only thing that would’ve made it better would have been sharing my joy with someone else.

I’ve never had that. Someone who was truly happy for me too. Except maybe when I got married. I think my friend was truly happy but now I think it’s only because I was marrying the wrong man. Because when I told her how I felt about Zawji, she disappointed. 😦

But, Allahu Akbar! I’m happy ANYWAY!!!! Can’t Steal My JOY!!!!!!

I have a wonderful Zawji and that makes me happier than I’ve ever been in my life.

We’re the best couple ever.

Have you ever known two people to get together and they just seem like they were made for each other? Especially if you knew them separately – and then they hook up???

That’s us.

When we get together, everybody’s going to be like
“Ya’ll are perfect for each other!“
I know you’re already thinking it. 😉

Everybody who knows both of us (and that’s basically everybody I know) knows we are supposed to be together. We just sound right together – make sense….

A match made in Heaven by Allah, TRULY.

TRUE LOVE

It’s only a few more days…

ALLAHU AKBAR!!!!

❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤

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Sunday

March 19, 2017
(My Birthday Day!!!! HBDD ME!!!!)

7:10 P.M.

NEW ORLEANS

I was gonna write a blog, but it’s easier to just write you. I have to do so much to prepare the blog and I messed up so I had to start all over so I was like forget it, I’ll just write you and then put it into a blog.
So, how are you, Sweet Zawji? On the bus ride home I saw the same lady I saw yesterday or whatever day I caught the bus. There are so few people who catch the bus that it is inevitable that you’ll see the same people (riders and drivers). She asked me if you were my Brother. I said yes, you were my Brother, my husband, my father, my son, my everything. She said she understood. 🙂 Then I thought, “There’s a word for that – ZAWJI” But I didn’t tell her.  I didn’t want to confuse her after she understood. LOL
I had a really good time at the Congo Square Festival despite the copious amount of devils. I left before I got nauseous.
But I was really surprised to see the babies. I did not know there were so many youth learning how to play brass band! It was encouraging! They came all the way from Baton Rouge and other cities. It was beautiful. I got a picture of this baby playing a trombone and the trombone was bigger than he was. I got a picture. BRB Okay my laptop be trippin’, right?
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I tried tried tried to get some video of him playing. He knew what he was doing. I mean he knew when to come in and everything. He couldn’t have been more than three but he was blowing that bone! It was the cutest thing I have ever seen! It reminded me of when Uncle Mike was teaching me how to play the trombone and he told me to use my foot to reach the low notes. LOL That baby was so cute. I hate I couldn’t get any video.
Anyway, I saw all the youth and it was so exciting to see them with all their instruments. I started talking to this brother, I didn’t even really comprehend that he was wearing a tuba until later. He was so cute and BIG! He was probably around Ibni’s age. Maybe younger. I should have asked but I think he liked me. It’s such a trip, these babies can be my grandchildren almost and they ask me how old I AM! LOL But anyway, I was taking a break from the devils and I heard the students playing. One group sounded so good I had to go see who they were. Why was it the brother with the tuba and his band. They were GOOD!!!!!!! The competition didn’t do them justice. I think their bandleader chose the wrong song (Part-Time Lover :/ seriously! For a BRASS BAND? Out of all the songs you could have chosen… But they were still good. The announcer kept talking over the tuba whenever his solo came up. It was so frustrating. For me, anyway 😛 )
I left after they finished. I’m glad I stayed. I hope he saw me because I told him I would try and catch their number.
I got some videos but I’m just going to post the links to facebook. I’ma start with this first one. It’s a video I made of some of the vendors and me getting into it with this “Brew” LOL That’s what I’ma call them now. “Brews” ROFL
These others are the student bands. I’ma start with the Brother who I met.
This group opened the show. They turned out to be really good too.
This was me getting into the mix with all the young musicians. I was pretty upset because a devil was over the whole thing. :/
This was my intro to the fest. I saw an interesting insect and broke out the camera to document it. I didn’t know I would be seeing them the rest of the day. I love insects and nature and this was Allah’s way of introducing me to the day I was in store for. Allahu Akbar.
I didn’t even miss missing Corey and the Birth. The birth has fifteen more minutes to perform but I left way before Corey even came on. I got disgusted when the TBC brought a devil up on the stage with them. I figured if I couldn’t take that, I knew I couldn’t take Corey. He always has devils in his band. So, I just broke.
But I got my fill of Brass bands for the day. When I first got there, this drummer had all Black people in his band and he was paying tribute to this elder named “Uganda” – a conguero. I danced my behind off a little. I REALLY enjoyed their set, until he got up and got nasty. Then I left. I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like him because I had seen him on yt when he was supposed to perform at a thing and I googled him first. He seemed to love devils. And today, he kept cursing. So when he got from behind the drums, I should have left. But I don’t realize how disgusting people can be sometimes and I end up getting a rude awakening.
I saw Broke too.
I know he saw me but he wanted me to come up to him so he acted like he didn’t see me. He was standing there with a devil woman and I had had enough of him. So, I just ignored him. He really thought I was going to come up to him AGAIN while he was talking to a devil. I can’t believe I’m even writing about it. LOL He’s pathetic. Come fresh.
I forgot I was writing you, Baby. I was in blogmode.
Did you or are you having a good day? It’s only 5 in L.A. but I guess the day is pretty much done there too. Not really though, because of the time change. I’m still getting used to these long days. It’s still light here.
I decided not to go see the sunrise tomorrow because I still don’t have a key and I would have to wake somebody up to lock the door. 😦 That sucks because I really want to see it. I could go to my spot and sleep there and see it but……. it’s not that serious. I’ll see it again when the time is right, soon come, In sha Allah
Why did the emcee at the fest look and sound just like a Nola Def Jef. I mean it could’ve been him. I haven’t seen him in a long time and he could have moved to Nola and picked up an accent in that time. I mean Faith did it. 😛 He looked JUST like him.
I saw a Brother who looked JUST like Bilal (Red) too. I almost went up and gave him the greetings! I had to look at him a long time to determine if it was him or not. It was only because I’m in NOLA that finally convinced me that it couldn’t be him. But I don’t know why. I know I’m not the only person who travels. It just would’ve been a mighty big coincidence. I didn’t want to see him anyway.
I am REALLY feeling this song https://tidal.com/track/36911526 Let me try to embed it.
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It has JOE written all over it. I need some chocolate. I think I’m gonna walk to the store. Have a beautiful night, Zawji. I love you.

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Thursday

March 16, 2017

Late Afternoon

NEW ORLEANS

Bismillahi Rahmani Rahim

I was going to make this a blog, but I feel like being brutally honest and i can’t be that open and honest with my readers. Only you.

So cheah.

I went to the homeless place but they told me you have to be referred. So, I would have had to go to a shelter and it’s not that serious especially since she gave me a few sheets with housing agencies and low-income apartments and transitional living places where I would have my own room.

That is a major concern now, after last night when I almost got a roommate.

I’m trying to move next month. Because Derrick is too anxious to put someone else up in here with me and well, you know… I cannot have a roommate. I was willing to try, but this time of being by myself just reinforced my independence. In sha Allah, I’ll make it through the month without having to get a roommate, In Sha Allah, but I’m leaving come the first, In sha Allah.

She gave me too many options to have to have a roommate for too long.

I’m not like most people.

Why did he move in a devil who used to be in the NGE? SMH She came up to me talking bout “Peace Earth” I was like What? LOL I put her in her place quickly. She tried to tell me what the NGE believes. I told her I know what they believe after all they got it from us. And just walked away.

She’s a joke. A devil in the NGE. SMH

But anyway, I’m gonna try and get on some of these waiting lists so I can hurry up and get my own place. I’m anxious for Ibni to come out here.

One of the places on the list, I went to when I first came out here. It was nice. I wonder if I’m still on the list. Let me call them. BRB Yeah, I figured they would be closed. It’s after six. But you know me. I don’t take no for an answer.

I wanna eat my sunflower seeds. Where did they come up with the term “poly seeds?” LOL How did they get “poly” from sunflower? Anyway. I can’t type and eat at the same time. Not those anyway.

I’m watching New Jersey Drive. It’s aight. I mean it’s better than that other movie with Nas and DMX. The acting is better, so I’m gonna say the director is better. I can’t even remember the name of the other movie it was so bad.

Everybody is talking about the movie Get Out. I have no desire to see no movie about an interracial relationship. I don’t even know why Black people allow ourselves to get caught up in the devils’ hype. Blind, deaf and dumb sheep, I guess.

I’ve got a new favorite radio station. It’s a new station. Throwback 96.3 I think, or something. They play music from the nineties when we were in our twenties, so you know I am digging it. It’s not lit or nothing but it’s nostalgic and I’m with that.

Downside is they play bad music from that time too. I wish I could skip or ban artists. Like on slacker or tidal.

I went to Family Dollar and got a frame for your picture, Love. They’re playing some song that is making me feel some kinda way. It sounds familiar but I don’t know what it is or who sings it. It’s called “I’m so alone” I think. It’s about death or an ended relationship. It’s sad. I would skip it if I could. I don’t like songs that make me sad. Life is too valuable to put yourself through sadness unnecessarily. I turned it off. I can’t take it.

It’s easy to wait until it goes off. 🙂

I’ve learned that. Nothing bad lasts forever. Just be patient, it’s going to end soon enough. That’s why I can listen to music with other people – djs and whatnot. If they play a song I don’t like sometimes I leave, other times I just wait. Depends on if I have something to do or somewhere else I could go.

At Mardi Gras, I waited.

Man, I never thought I would ever go to Mardi Gras!

It feels good saying I’ve been. I feel privileged because I know so many people wish they could go.

I even got your fedora! I’m so blessed! That fedora was bomb. You know I had to floss. 😀

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Now they’re playing I miss you by Aaron Hall. What is up? Are you trying to tell me something?

I hate when you make me think about stuff like that. And you know it. Stop depressing me for nothing. Why are you depressing me? You just like playing with me, Buster.

I can wait.

I got some manicure implements too. I stole them. It’s so easy to steal from Family Dollar. But when I went to Rite Aid, they were watching me like a hawk! I sure was about to walk out with that charger, but I procrastinated and she got hip. I should have just left but cold feet. I got it on sale though so I can still go see Corey Henry. That was close. I almost had to spend my transportation. I could probably walk now that I think about it. I just have to look at my map to see what would be the quickest way.

New Orleans is crazy. When they told me it was a circle I really didn’t believe them. But it’s true. If you keep going, you’re going to run into the same street. It’s crazy. That’s probably why the buses are so crazy. I’ve figured it out for the most part.

I’m still learning how to pronounce streets.

Trip this. I live by a street spelled LEONIDAS but they pronounce is LEONDAS like the “i” is silent or something. LOL I love New Orleans. I learned how to say “How ya duuhn” like they do too today. I’ve been working on that since last year. I finally got it. I usually say “As-Salaamu ‘Alaikum” but sometimes I feel like a native. 🙂

I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.